This is how Howie showed me.

I like to rub cat feces on a tissue and keep it in an airtight bag along with some purel just for this reason. When someone fistbumps me, I rub my knuckles with cat poop and really jam it into the other guy's hand good. then, I purel the shiat outta my own knuckles.

I'm not the only one. There's a whole counter culture here. Enjoy...

So terrorist fist jabs are ok too?

Gardeners and nursery owners around the world are laughing their asses off right now.

*licks your hand*

you're welcome

pussies

'Grip' - a handshake in which both press with the forefinger twice upon the wrist of the other.

- A King Arthur Dictionary

doglover: I like to rub cat feces on a tissue and keep it in an airtight bag along with some purel just for this reason. When someone fistbumps me, I rub my knuckles with cat poop and really jam it into the other guy's hand good. then, I purel the shiat outta my own knuckles.

I'm not the only one. There's a whole counter culture here. Enjoy...

I don't think it's wise to keep the poop and the purel in the same bag.

For Fark's sake people! There are bigger things to worry about than germs spreading by handshake. Stop being pussies about it.

Greetings and salutations!

I do not touch anything or anyone without pools of Purell to clean up the germs...

I regularly lick doorknobs and I'm never sick. If you have small kids it's one thing, but otherwise let your immune system do its job.

/the pussification continues

The fist bump is gayer than jerking off to homo-erotic Star Trek slash fan fiction.

Give us a few more years and we'll evolve beyond this, to the point where a standard greeting consists of a 2-second intense staring contest ended with a wink and a full pirouette.

I was on board with this back in '02 with the Ian Anderson 'Rubbing Elbows' tour.

SteelCityKid: If you have small kids it's one thing, but otherwise let your immune system do its job.

Yeah, but kids need dirt and germs too, otherwise they grow up with allergies to farking everything. My wife has a friend whose allergies are endless. Cats, dogs, milk, red food colouring, eggs, garlic, lemon-scented cleaning products, goddamn everything.

Kar98: The fist bump is gayer than jerking off to homo-erotic Star Trek slash fan fiction.

Foolishness! It's not gay as long as the balls don't touch.

what I can't stand is how all the cashiers now seem to either be afraid to touch my hand or afraid I don't want them to touch my hand so when they hand me my change they balance all the coins on top of the bills or receipt to hand it to me. It's especially irritating at the drive through when you're reaching out the window at a weird angle and are afraid you're going to drop it.

Princess Diana wasn't to good to hold all those slimy crusty babies with flies in their snot covered leper eyes why are these people to good to risk a casual brush against my hand.

DoughyGuy: Give us a few more years and we'll evolve beyond this, to the point where a standard greeting consists of a 2-second intense staring contest ended with a wink and a full pirouette.

Wait a minute... that's how I have sex! Though I've been doing a lot of staring into a mirror if you catch my drift.

Self Defecating Humor: DoughyGuy: Give us a few more years and we'll evolve beyond this, to the point where a standard greeting consists of a 2-second intense staring contest ended with a wink and a full pirouette.

Wait a minute... that's how I have sex! Though I've been doing a lot of staring into a mirror if you catch my drift.

Is the pirouette before, after or during the endgame? Because that could get messy.

/Shout It Out!

And now a public service announcement.

Omnis_evil_twin: Kar98: The fist bump is gayer than jerking off to homo-erotic Star Trek slash fan fiction.

Foolishness! It's not gay as long as the balls don't touch.

Pic is still less gay than a fist bump.

Omnis_evil_twin: Kar98: The fist bump is gayer than jerking off to homo-erotic Star Trek slash fan fiction.

Foolishness! It's not gay as long as the balls don't touch.

Republicans teabag, democrats fist.

Going with the dismissive glance for now.

Fist bumping is SO six months ago.



Besides, I'm all about the "Snap and flick" these days.

This all seems very over the top, but I can't say the direction really bothers me.

I'd just wish that we'd advance far enough as a culture that everyone would know it's definitely not okay to ask "May I have a sip of that?" If someone's terribly thirsty I may give them my drink if they want it, but I wouldn't want it back. I don't care who it is or how long I've known them. You drink out of it, it's yours.

The pat on the back
just might
hold ya back!

This is farking ridiculous.

Here in Mexico we still hug, kiss, shake hands and whatnot. Now, where's my tamiflu?.

the elbow bump is called the "porno handshake"
after a guy gets done doing a good scene you wanna give him props but don't wanna shake his hand, so you bump elbows.

i have never seen it done out side of a porn set.

Pound it... pound it... pound it... *Fist bump!*

Iron Nacho Melt: I'd just wish that we'd advance far enough as a culture that everyone would know it's definitely not okay to ask "May I have a sip of that?" If someone's terribly thirsty I may give them my drink if they want it, but I wouldn't want it back. I don't care who it is or how long I've known them. You drink out of it, it's yours.

So very much this. I don't really care what the hell my peers do for fun, but the second they ask to borrow some of my water the story they told me last night about eating out that stripper/hooker comes flashing back in a hurry. If I give anyone around me water, they can keep the bottle.

Most people will end up acting like this guy.

Getting some irrelevant bug isn't a concern of mine. I don't stick my hand/fingers in my mouth; I just wash up before I eat, like most mammals. The real problem is my hands sweat; it's genetic. So if I don't get a chance to wipe off the excess and I shake someones hand, there's this squishy sound and they invariably look unhappy.

/awkward

Of course we could all simply wash our hands as often as we are meant to. I wonder how often these people wash their elbows...

Mellow greetings fellow citizen....I formally convey my presence... be well..


Time to start stockpiling weapons and hanging out with Dennis Leary
/be farked

I'm not worried about the germs.
The guy may have just finished jackin' it.

Sometimes you can still feel the indention in the palm.

/creepy.

Came for Judge Dredd references, leaving unfulfilled because no Rob Schneider.

I was listening to a classic rock station a while ago and the DJ was doing a piece on a fairly well known musician who had just released a solo album or something. The DJ said that this musician wouldn't shake hands, but if you sort of stuck your elbow out, he would touch elbows with you. I can't farking remember who it was, though.

I prefer the Christian Side Hug (^)

that, and analingus.

Came for the Christian Side Hug reference.

Thank you FlukeBoy.

Pranams

I just Butt Heads.
/Butthead
//heh heh heh butt

Not on the lips! (new window)

Batman in the Operating Room: Not on the lips! (new window)

Fantastic!

/them was the days, when funny people was funny

Howie Maendel will never leave his house again. Or he was serious about wearing the HASMAT suit everywear.

Texaco Saves: You don't know where my fist has been!!!

"1, 2, 3, 4, I declare a thumb war"
"5, 6, 7, 8, I used this hand to masturbate"

/too lazy to find the pic