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(News.com.au) Scary Forget killer bees. Here come super termites   (news.com.au) divider line 39
More: Scary, NSW, Jean Piggins, Queensland, Brisbane, pesticides  
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9456 clicks; posted to Main » on 27 Nov 2009 at 5:12 AM   |  Make this a Fark FavoriteFavorite    |   share: Share on OMGTWITTER WEB2.0share on StumbleUponshare on Facebook  more»   |    Get this fabulous T-Shirt and impress the methane out of your friends! shirt it!

39 Comments   (+0 »)


 
The Beatings Will Continue Until Morale Improves 2009-11-27 05:19:44 AM  
This should take care of the witch problem.

 
wbudnick 2009-11-27 05:23:59 AM  
Super toilet?

 
Indolent [TotalFark] 2009-11-27 05:39:35 AM  
Careful. They might eat your woody.

 
moops 2009-11-27 05:43:39 AM  
When will you Australians learn the consequences of importing non-native species?

 
ktybear 2009-11-27 05:54:23 AM  
moops: When will you Australians learn the consequences of importing non-native species?

/giggles in corner

 
yarnothuntin [TotalFark] 2009-11-27 05:59:25 AM  
I have termite damage on the main floor of the house so I'm gett

 
yarnothuntin [TotalFark] 2009-11-27 06:00:03 AM  
I'm posting from my basement, so I'm getting a kick out of these replies.

 
Leskay 2009-11-27 06:05:55 AM  
This is like the KITCHEN DISH CLOTHS ARE FULL OF GERMS AND WILL KILL YOUR FAMILY reports.

I've heard it every year for the last 10 years.

 
LavenderWolf 2009-11-27 06:06:19 AM  
yarnothuntin: I have termite damage on the main floor of the house so I'm gett

yarnothuntin: I'm posting from my basement, so I'm getting a kick out of these replies.

i lol'd.

 
w00rm 2009-11-27 06:08:21 AM  
Killer chihuahuas are next ...
i777.photobucket.com

 
w00rm 2009-11-27 06:17:43 AM  
i777.photobucket.com
killer poodles are worster....

 
Sid_6.7 [TotalFark] 2009-11-27 07:01:41 AM  
w00rm: killer poodles are worster....

Nah. Just get a baseball bat. Or a weed whacker.

 
dogboy360 [recently expired TotalFark] 2009-11-27 07:06:53 AM  
ktybear: moops: When will you Australians learn the consequences of importing non-native species?

/giggles in corner


me too

w00rm: killer poodles are worster....

Our killer Poodle is way worster than yours.

 
Rumpleforskin 2009-11-27 07:14:54 AM  
Too many damn acronyms in this article.
The NDL told people in NSW that they should call the DPI if they see any SKT's before the VNGT get beyond the scope of the DQIK.

 
Savage Belief 2009-11-27 07:38:06 AM  
Is it me, or the fact that I have young kids, the reason the first thing I though of was Fairly Odd Parents and the super intelligent cockroaches?

/WORLD DOMINATION!

 
DeathByGeekSquad 2009-11-27 07:42:45 AM  
Who is this subby and how could people forget zee killah bees!

varifrank.com

 
gundar.twinklefluffy 2009-11-27 08:02:32 AM  
You no not fear until you have an infestation of sheep in the wainscoting.

 
2wolves [TotalFark] 2009-11-27 08:06:57 AM  
DeathByGeekSquad: Who is this subby and how could people forget zee killah bees!

Was that the last time Elliot Gould was funny or even worked?

 
theinsultabot9000 2009-11-27 08:15:17 AM  
lh6.ggpht.com

 
Type40 2009-11-27 08:18:44 AM  
2wolves: DeathByGeekSquad: Who is this subby and how could people forget zee killah bees!

Was that the last time Elliot Gould was funny or even worked?


Eliot Gould is in the Oceans movies isn't he?. He is also the voice of Vin Diesel, when ever you see Vin Diesel speak in a movie it isn't him, they dub in Eliot Gould's voice.

 
BenJammin 2009-11-27 08:23:04 AM  
Jean Piggins

The termites are nothing compared to the torment she endured thorugh her childhood

 
THX 1138 2009-11-27 08:42:12 AM  
"Give me another," the bee slurred.

"I think you've had enough, sir," the bartender replied jovially. "You're small and your tolerance is low."

"I'LL KILL YOU!" the bee exclaimed, shattering his glass upon the floor and lunging for the bartender's exposed neck.

The bartender tore off his shirt, allowing his puny muscles to glisten under the dim bar lights, and came out from behind the counter, to the eager cheers of his associates. This was the most excitement they'd had in weeks - they were pretty pathetic.

"C'mon, bee. I'll teach you some manners," the bartender growled as he raised his fists threateningly.

"Who do you think you are, Miss Manners or something?" the bee replied. "I'll have you know I happen to have a certificate from one of the finest finishing schools in Ireland."

"Which one?" asked one of the bartender's colleagues.

"Hey! I'm trying to have a fight here, you imbeciles," protested the bartender, getting very tired from holding up his dukes. He decided to compromise and hold them at half mast, while resting up against a bar stool.

"You givin' up already, ya wuss?" the bee hollered, as he flew defiantly in front of the bartender, dodging blow after pointless blow.

"Jus' restin'," the bartender panted breathlessly as he flailed his arms about desperately.

"Beaten by a bee," the bee said smugly.

The bartender tried to stammer out a reply, but found he had no air left in his lungs. He slumped over and wheezed, and then fell to the floor, stone cold dead. The bartender's colleagues put their arms around the bee's shoulders, cheering. They then propped the triumphant bee atop their shoulders and burst into a rousing chorus of "Hail, Hail the Victory Bee":

Hail, hail the victory bee!
Bee, as mentioned, you are victorious!
Oh, triumphant yellow and black striped honey-making hive-dwelling insect,
we are glad to have made your acquaintance and you can have any stuff of ours you want.
bee bee bee bee bee bee bee bee bee
bee bee bee bee bee bee bee bee--

The singing broke off suddenly and the bee noticed the other bar patrons whispering to one another and pointing suspicious fingers in his direction.

After a few minutes, one of the patrons slapped his hands to his cheeks and exclaimed in terror, "He's a bee!"

"Let's get him!" yelled another. The men grabbed their torches and chased the bee from the bar, yelling curses and insults after him. The bee flew for his life, driven onward by the feeling of heat on his wings. The riotous mob chased him for mile after mile, over land and over sea. The chase wore on for weeks, then months, then years. The men grew old and died, but their children continued the desperate, hate-driven pursuit of the bee.

Eventually, however, the bee fell off a cliff.

 
theinsultabot9000 2009-11-27 08:59:18 AM  
THX 1138: "LSD induced rant



whoever sold you whatever you are on, you owe him/her a nice Christmas gift

 
MrSpot 2009-11-27 09:00:34 AM  
FTA, I wonder what 'humid condirions' are? Is that Australian for something in English?

 
psanf420 2009-11-27 09:00:52 AM  
THX 1138,
that's just epic.

 
Quaker 2009-11-27 09:21:26 AM  
www.thegiantpeach.com

 
luckyeddie 2009-11-27 09:26:28 AM  
psanf420: THX 1138,
that's just epic.


I think it's THX's party piece.

 
Dr Jack Badofsky 2009-11-27 09:39:38 AM  
Just one teaspoon of Super AIDS in your butt and you're dead in three years!

 
Maddogjew 2009-11-27 11:16:36 AM  
THX 1138: "Give me another," the bee slurred...


Whoa

Wait... What?

 
bhcompy [TotalFark] 2009-11-27 11:18:00 AM  
Formosan Subterranean Termites are the most destructive, and the most difficult to destroy because of the size of the colony and the fact that subterranean termites live under ground rather than in your house where a fumigation will kill them. Drywoods also have much smaller colonies and take a very long time to develop. Formosans have colonies in the low millions, drywoods typically in the thousands or ten thousands.

 
simpsonfan 2009-11-27 12:22:17 PM  
Wait, a foreign species able to survive in Australia? The land of crocodiles, sharks, poisonous spiders, deadly toads, venomous birds, snakes, a bunch of deadly plants?

That must be one tough termite.

 
Ball of Confusion 2009-11-27 12:41:36 PM  
moops: When will you Australians learn the consequences of importing non-native species?

I'm in water unfit for human contact, fixing an electronic fish barrier, so I'm really getting a kick out of your reply...

/oops a japanese carp just went past...i hope they eat zebra mussels

 
Darth Nastyperson 2009-11-27 03:24:22 PM  
bhcompy: Formosan Subterranean Termites are the most destructive, and the most difficult to destroy because of the size of the colony and the fact that subterranean termites live under ground rather than in your house where a fumigation will kill them. Drywoods also have much smaller colonies and take a very long time to develop. Formosans have colonies in the low millions, drywoods typically in the thousands or ten thousands.

THe thing that makes the drywoods dangerous is that an entire colony, queen and all can fit in a picture frame as per TFA. They can therefore be brought in unnoticed and wreak havoc. Traditional methods of control that rely on cutting off access from the ground are ineffective because they don't need ground contact to get in.

Subterranean termites may have large colonies, but you can keep them out with good building design and vigilance.

 
bhcompy [TotalFark] 2009-11-27 03:56:27 PM  
Darth Nastyperson: bhcompy: Formosan Subterranean Termites are the most destructive, and the most difficult to destroy because of the size of the colony and the fact that subterranean termites live under ground rather than in your house where a fumigation will kill them. Drywoods also have much smaller colonies and take a very long time to develop. Formosans have colonies in the low millions, drywoods typically in the thousands or ten thousands.

THe thing that makes the drywoods dangerous is that an entire colony, queen and all can fit in a picture frame as per TFA. They can therefore be brought in unnoticed and wreak havoc. Traditional methods of control that rely on cutting off access from the ground are ineffective because they don't need ground contact to get in.

Subterranean termites may have large colonies, but you can keep them out with good building design and vigilance.


If you live in an area with drywood termites, it's safe to assume you have drywood termites unless you have a timbor treatment on all of the wood when it's built(10years or so of protection) or use pressure treated wood exclusively. Even steel framed houses will have wooden fascia and wallboards, so while you won't have a structural integrity problem, you'll still have a damage problem.

Subterraneans, formosans especially, can rapidly chew up a house without presenting evidence until they come out of the walls(mudtubes). You can barrier treat the ground(with termidor), but that doesn't always offer protection. Bait stations are utterly useless for the cost. And good building design won't save you from a crack in the slab, which subterraneans are known to come up through.

Now, if you don't pay attention, drywoods can chew through your roof in 10-20 years and force you to replace it, but a tenting isn't really that expensive. They present themselves easier than subs though because things like fascia board are very visible. Certain companies, like Terminix, will pay for subsequent fumes and wood replacement if you keep your warranty up with them. If I owned a house in a termite infested area like southern CA I'd get a fume every 10 years or so as a preventative measure. Vikane gas leaves absolutely no residual(they use the same chemical for fumigating food that comes from china and shiat under the ProFume label) and you get to stay in a hotel for a few days. No drilling or trenching necessary.

 
ramen_for_all [TotalFark] 2009-11-27 04:11:38 PM  
nope, not scared of termites. But....

www.cbc.ca

"Flaghhh!! I've come for your nightmares!"

 
Darth Nastyperson 2009-11-27 06:26:01 PM  
simpsonfan: Wait, a foreign species able to survive in Australia? The land of crocodiles, sharks, poisonous spiders, deadly toads, venomous birds, snakes, a bunch of deadly plants?

That must be one tough termite.


How so?

Rabbits and foxes were brought in for hunting purposes in the early 19th century and we're still trying to get rid of them. Those deadly toads are foreigners too.

 
BlaqueKatt 2009-11-27 08:16:51 PM  
Awww....

*off to sew 50 million little tiny red capes*

 
GranoblasticMan 2009-11-28 04:25:28 AM  
THX 1138: The bartender tore off his shirt, allowing his puny muscles to glisten under the dim bar lights

*fap?*

 
pestluvr 2009-11-28 06:54:51 AM  
Not impressed:

www.ugo.com

 
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