Well, it's not like the niece needed the jewelry.


"I picked you up a pretty tennis brace-Oooh."

Originally fitted with unsuitable NHS legs, her family raised £20,000 from donations to buy her private ones

Damned socialized arms and legs! They had to pay money to get proper ones! This is an outrage!

I'm just stumped as to why they'd do such a thing.

GreenAdder: I'm just stumped as to why they'd do such a thing.

Over in three.

He went out on a limb to safe his marriage.

Speedofdarkness: He went out on a limb to safe his marriage.

lol, nearly.

From what I read it sounds like the guy doesn't have a leg to stand on.

\b'boom tsh

[witty comment about an arm and a leg]

Sometimes saving a marriage isn't worth it anyway.

That's disgusting but really my sympathy is not raised that she can't go on the beach. And her brother is losing his hair over the stress? Stop bothering the poor damn kid then.

I would love to hear how the wife rationalized all this.

At the beach? Toss her in the water and name her "Bob".

Wow, he deserves a fisting.

I like how the bank refunded the money he took. How nice.

shizbgby_v2: I like how the bank refunded the money he took. How nice.

It's England, they manage to have manners over there every so often.

shizbgby_v2: Wow, he deserves a fisting.

You know, being a quadruple amputee could make fisting more fun.

got a feeling he's not going to do too well in prison

once word gets out

shizbgby_v2: Wow, he deserves a fisting.

I like how the bank refunded the money he took. How nice.

Yeah, that was awesome. It's just sad the thing happened in the first place.

Thinking of something he should have amputated.

Dr. Frisbee: shizbgby_v2: Wow, he deserves a fisting.

I like how the bank refunded the money he took. How nice.

Yeah, that was awesome. It's just sad the thing happened in the first place.

The pic they posted had "Fatass Douche" written all over it. There is nothing to smile about buddy.

Unless, you are looking forward to that fisting, then....no. Still.

Stealing from a little girl with no arms and legs? Damn, that's cold.

/At least he tried to kill himself, he might be redeemed if he'd manage to do it properly.

Meh. The kid can always get a job at IHOP.

Well, it's not like he was live on handouts, right?.

Too bad his attempt wasn't more successful.

I would have felt better about this story's ending.

After looking at the pic in TFA I have to say I am not in the least surprised his marriage was taking a ride on the fail express.

/knows well physical beauty is only part of the equation but holy beached whales...

Bank Clerk: How can I help you, young man?
Stan Marsh: I got a hundred-dollar check from my grandma and my dad said I need to put it in the bank so it can grow over the years.
Bank Clerk: Well that's fantastic. A really smart decision, young man. We can put that check in a money market mutual fund, then we'll re-invest the earnings into foreign currency accounts with compounding interest aaaand it's gone.
[Blank stares and silence as it goes from the Bank Clerk, to Stan, to the Bank Clerk, to Stan]
Stan Marsh: Uh... what?
Bank Clerk: It's gone, it's all gone.
Stan Marsh: What's all gone?
Bank Clerk: The money in your account. It didn't do too well, it's gone.
Stan Marsh: What do you mean? I-I have a hundred dollars!
Bank Clerk: Not any more, you don't

To be fair, charges are unofficial, as the niece has yet to point fingers at the perpetrator.

Sounds like my family... my uncle did the same deplorable thing to "save his marriage" by taking my grandmother's pension. My grandmother wasn't an amputee, but confined to a wheelchair and old, well...

All I can say is that I hope that he, my poor excuse for an aunt, and their couture wearing crotch fruit, will one day experience karma and make it onto fark.

Lumoclear: Sounds like my family... my uncle did the same deplorable thing to "save his marriage" by taking my grandmother's pension. My grandmother wasn't an amputee, but confined to a wheelchair and old, well...

All I can say is that I hope that he, my poor excuse for an aunt, and their couture wearing crotch fruit, will one day experience karma and make it onto fark.

Well, it sounds like it did save his marriage....

Dr. Frisbee: At the beach? Toss her in the water and name her "Bob".

No, Bob's her uncle.

Well what was she going to do with the money? Buy shoes, get her nails did? Go hiking or skiing?

Nice of the bank to refund the money. I say we give them hand...

No?

How about a standing ovation?

No?

Don't worry, she'll bounce back.

I'm so disgusted with that uncle, I wouldn't even use his liposuctioned fat to make soap.

Anyone say "I'd hit it?"


Consider it done.

Oh come on, how much does she really need for a skateboard?

How about £300,000 from the most annoying dead persons case in years.

New window

I am literally in tears right now, sobbing.
That story with that picture.

How could anybody be so greedy and heartless?

mrEdude: I am literally in tears right now, sobbing.
That story with that picture.

How could anybody be so greedy and heartless?

Was that rhetorical? I know you could get answers. How many worse stories do you want?

mrEdude: I am literally in tears right now, sobbing.
That story with that picture.

How could anybody be so greedy and heartless?

"Look, she's got food, shelter, we got her those nice bionic arms and legs; she's going to school and has friends; and I swear we'll pay the money back before she even knows it's gone. Besides, if my wife and I get a divorce, she'll be so upset--we NEED this money!"

Half a mil on vacations is a bit much for even the rockiest marriage, however.

FTFA: Darren Pease was made a trustee of five-year-old Ellie May Challis's account after well-wishers from across the country donated hundreds of thousands of pounds.

But the 33-year-old City banker siphoned off £315,000 to pay for jewellery and expensive holidays in a bid to save his failing marriage.

Pxtl: I would love to hear how the wife rationalized all this.

Two Pease in a pod, no doubt.

Fat people are selfish and lack self control. That's why they are fat to begin with. Every fat person I've met has proved that to be true time and time again. Why anyone would be surprised that a fattie did something selfish and immoral is beyond me.

Mija: Fat people are selfish and lack self control. That's why they are fat to begin with. Every fat person I've met has proved that to be true time and time again. Why anyone would be surprised that a fattie did something selfish and immoral is beyond me.

You sound fat.

mrEdude: I am literally in tears right now, sobbing.
That story with that picture.


What the fark? How could you not have cracked up laughing when you got to where the article mentions that he also robbed his invalid grandma? It's just cartoonishly evil, like a bio of Stalin that ends, 'and he also kicked puppies.'

ratboy: Anyone say "I'd hit it?"


Consider it done.

I have an amazingly relevant pic on my other computer but I just got crushed by Thanksgiving so I will not bother finding it.
/use your imagination

DRTFA: was her name matt?

Funny - if this had been a woman, this image would almost surely appeared within the first few posts, and everyone would have been harping on what a fat slob she was...

/hot (or not?)
//I vote NOT

More like Darren's wife threatened to divorce him-Briti$h style-him if he didn't pay for her occasional wifely duties. Men get screwed one way or another.

RealFarknMcCoy2: Funny - if this had been a woman, this image would almost surely appeared within the first few posts, and everyone would have been harping on what a fat slob she was...

/hot (or not?)
//I vote NOT

His teeth are the same colour as his overexposed shirt in that pic. It's completely unnatural looking.

Is that why no comments on his "British teeth" from the little sisters over the water?

You know the blinding white teeth look stupid and you got it from TV?

So he stole USD 519k from this girl and another USD 107k from his grandmother and in exchange, he's only going to serve 4 years in prison? $156k/year. That sounds like a pretty good deal for him...

Wait, how does one lose their limbs from meningitis?

/scary tag needed for that part
//and sick tag is more appropriate for the rest.

FTFA: "Because he worked for the fraud team in the bank they had to teach staff how to commit fraud in order to teach them how to recognise it. It was by doing the banking training he was able to steal from them. I believe that's why they (Lloyds) have paid the money back to Ellie."

Quis custodiet ipsos custodes?

/Farkin' wanker should get a very enthusiastic welcome from Bubba (or whatever Brits call such men).