This may be the single worst headline I've ever seen in over 10 years on Fark. Is that even english? I'd love to have subby swing by the thread and explain their usage of commas.

And now they've gone and changed the headline to something comprehensible. Nice work.

Exactly what is "half-to-death," anyway? Did she have a stroke or something?

Ryanair isn't the worst airline in Great Britain. It's the worst airline in the world.

She was probably one of those twats who moves in next to an airport then biatches about the noise.

WTF?

Is this British-Fark now or something?

WTF?

Is this British-Fark now or something?

Don't be a cheeky twat and get with the programme...

Charlie Freak: Exactly what is "half-to-death," anyway? Did she have a stroke or something?

Only "half-to-death".. she merely had a "str" or maybe an "oke"

mark12A: WTF?

Is this British-Fark now or something?

Don't be a cheeky twat and get with the programme...

Oh sorry, guv...

Don't take away me character and drive me on the streets,
Not for me speakin' me bloomin' mind!

;)

Because they don't do stupid stuff like that, not because the pattern is full.

WhiskeyCognac!

CruiserTwelve: Ryanair isn't the worst airline in Great Britain. It's the worst airline in the world.

I see you've never had to catch a domestic flight in Russia.

As someone who has flown on ryanair rome-madrid for 35$ total, then from madrid to paris for 25$, I can say I don't give a shiat about their service since hours of flight time with them costs as much as checking a bag in the states.

Before I biatch about the airline, I want to know what this German woman did during the war...this might just be a karma effect in play.

/18 yo in 1945.

citoriman: As someone who has flown on ryanair rome-madrid for 35$ total, then from madrid to paris for 25$, I can say I don't give a shiat about their service since hours of flight time with them costs as much as checking a bag in the states.

That's sort of what I thought when I flew them. Yes it was crazy and I almost missed my flight because the boarding pass didn't print correctly when I printed it. But on the other hand it cost more money to get to Stanstead airport than my flight to Dublin did.

Hamilton_G_Fantomas: MAVERICK!!!!!!

win!

Hamilton_G_Fantomas: MAVERICK!!!!!!

That's a negative, Ghost Rider, the pattern is full.

Am I the only one that was more interested in the the
"2010 calendar featuring female flight attendants stripping down"

Come on FARK!!!

Shakes head and leaves the room.

LostInTO: Am I the only one that was more interested in the the
"2010 calendar featuring female flight attendants stripping down"

Come on FARK!!!

Shakes head and leaves the room.

Agreed needs more stewardess's



/Hot like a stewardess

CruiserTwelve: Ryanair isn't the worst airline in Great Britain. It's the worst airline in the world.

Ryanair is awful, but I do have it on good authority that North Korea's Air Koryo pips it to the post.

Ryanair isn't the worst airline in Great Britain. It's the worst airline in the world.

I just read the article. Ryanair weren't voted worst airline in Britain. They were voted the worst anything in Britain. It's good to have goals, I guess.

capilot: Ryanair isn't the worst airline in Great Britain. It's the worst airline in the world.

I just read the article. Ryanair weren't voted worst airline in Britain. They were voted the worst anything in Britain. It's good to have goals, I guess.


Reread the article. They weren't voted the worst "anything," they were voted the worst "family brand." I'm gonna go ahead and say that the sexy calendar of their stewardesses hurt them on the family brand thing, but probably helped in the overall service and quality of flights thing.

LostInTO: Am I the only one that was more interested in the the
"2010 calendar featuring female flight attendants stripping down"

Come on FARK!!!

Shakes head and leaves the room.

I lol'd at the video, yet was strangely intrigued.. Yeah that is far more interesting!

I would start flying them again if they put all passengers and their luggage on a cattle scale, and charged according to that. Why penny ante with charging for coffee or using the loo?

/just flew back from Australia next to a family of oxen, was not sure why my ticket cost the same as theirs

FTA:
An 82-year-old German woman living near the Hamburg-Luebeck airport claims that a Ryanair plane coming in for a landing flew to close too her house and blew off roof tiles.

So close.

I flew with Ryanair last February, it was fine, a totally unremarkable flight which is exactly what I like.

A guy I know did have a bad time with them though. On the approach to Dublin the captain announced that due to bad weather conditions disturbing his path he was going to have to circle around again for a second attempt. A minute later the captain announced "ah actually no, we'll give it a go". The plane hit the runway at quite an alarming angle, the nose bounced off the tarmac violently three times. On disembarkation the flight crew shook the hands of each passenger. Not very cool.

Man, as soon as I saw the headline, I just knew it was gonna be talking about Ryanair.

On the other hand... they have such low prices.

_{/not entirely sure if it's worth it
//used 'em a few times, though}

Yeah... Air traffic have recorded the plane as being at the correct height for it's approach. This lawsuit will go nowhere.

Well what do you expect from a bunch of shav and ned's?

Did the plane have spinners on the landing gear?

Ryanair, making Southwest look like Emirates.

As they approached Dublin number 1 runway, the tower heard:
PILOT - Bjeesus will ya look how shart dat runway is?

CO-PILOT - Yer nat kiddin, Paddy

PILOT - Dis is ganna be one a de trickiest landings ever, Shamus!

CO-PILOT - Yer nat kiddin, Paddy !!

PILOT - Right, Shamus, when I say 'go' put de engine in reverse!!

CO-PILOT - Royt, I'll do dat !!

PILOT - An den ya put de flaps down!!

CO-PILOT - Royt, I'll do dat, too !!

PILOT - An den stamp an de brakes as hard as yer can an pray ta de Holy Mudder a Gad !!!

CO-PILOT - I'm prayin already, but I'll hit de brakes as hard as I can.

So, as the wheels hit the ground, Shamus put the engines in reverse, puts the flaps down, stamped on the brakes and continued to pray to the Holy Mother with all his soul. The brakes screeched, the tyres squealed,and there was smoke everywhere, but, to the relief of all the passengers, and, not least of all, Paddy and Shamus, the aircraft came to a stop but a few metres from the end of the runway.

As Paddy and Shamus sat in the cockpit regaining some composure, Paddy looked out of the window and said to Shamus, "Dat has gat ta be De shartist fookin runway in de world!"

Shamus replied, "Yes, but da ya see how fookin wide it is?"

brownbread: I flew with Ryanair last February, it was fine, a totally unremarkable flight which is exactly what I like.

A guy I know did have a bad time with them though. On the approach to Dublin the captain announced that due to bad weather conditions disturbing his path he was going to have to circle around again for a second attempt. A minute later the captain announced "ah actually no, we'll give it a go". The plane hit the runway at quite an alarming angle, the nose bounced off the tarmac violently three times. On disembarkation the flight crew shook the hands of each passenger. Not very cool.

Ryanair pilots have very tight deadlines to keep. A friend of mine is a pilot with them, shortly after starting with them he was sent back to the simulator for training after it was decided his landings were too slow/soft.

Cormee:

Ryanair pilots have very tight deadlines to keep. A friend of mine is a pilot with them, shortly after starting with them he was sent back to the simulator for training after it was decided his landings were too slow/soft.

Not to mention the cost of a go-around in TFA. I'm sure that all comes into play. That safety vs cost calculus is complicated stuff...and it's a very liquid equation with the times. We haven't gotten the entire deregulation bill from Reagan just yet. There will be deaths.

Cormee: Ryanair pilots have very tight deadlines to keep. A friend of mine is a pilot with them, shortly after starting with them he was sent back to the simulator for training after it was decided his landings were too slow/soft.

Bullshiat.

a) The landing is 0.00001% of the flight time.
b) The pilot doesn't decide the rate of descent.
c) Hard landings are actually safer (so long as you stay within design limits). The biggest danger on landing is bouncing up into the air again.
d) ...half a dozen other reasons.

LostInTO: Am I the only one that was more interested in the the
"2010 calendar featuring female flight attendants stripping down"

Come on FARK!!!

Shakes head and leaves the room.

I got excited about that, but then I remembered the times I've flown Ryanair and their air hosties are either the old and used up (ones other airlines won't employ), or ugly slappers who think they are hot (ones other airlines won't employ).

They were also all surly biatches (probably make minimum wage).

Although, reading the sentence carefully, it doesn't say that the flight attendants in the calender are Ryanair attendants, so there could still be hope.

Hermit Tard: the times I've flown Ryanair and their air hosties are either the old and used up (ones other airlines won't employ), or ugly slappers who think they are hot (ones other airlines won't employ).

They were also all surly biatches (probably make minimum wage).

Not may experience at all. Last time I flew Ryan it was a hot Russian chick.

Maybe she was just starting out in her career...still unspoiled.

CruiserTwelve: Ryanair isn't the worst airline in Great Britain. It's the worst airline in the world.

You haven't flown Aeroflot.

Ryanair sucks so bad it's indescribable.
The story is too long to write in full, but includes broken equipment, huge queues, no information, closed check-in, missed flight, surly staff, sleeping in airport, being forced to pay for new ticket, wrong reissued boarding pass, lost luggage and absolutely no compensation or help.

I wouldn't even piss on their CEO if he was on fire - which I hope happens soon!
DIAF Michael O'Leary!

came for H2G2 ref, disappointed..

/beep-beep noises
//rather childish
///42

Runonsentencesreallyannoyme.

I've flown more times than I can remember, so I consider myself somewhat of an amateur expert on airlines.

Last spring, I flew Ryanair from Edinburgh to Dublin. We took off without a door coming off or losing a wing. The cabin didn't fill with smoke during the flight. So far so good. On arrival at Dublin, the plane, for some reason still unknown, had to make two approaches to the runway. Ok, so maybe there was a cow on the runway, no big deal. When the plane hit the tarmac, it bounced three times.

That was it - I'll never get on one of their planes again. I had never experienced a bouncing airplane before, and I hope I never do again.

And since a lot of you mentioned the air hostesses, the ones on my flight were all Russians and could barely speak English. The safety demo before take off was a hoot. The chick doing it reminded me of Natasha Fatale.

Joce678: Cormee: Ryanair pilots have very tight deadlines to keep. A friend of mine is a pilot with them, shortly after starting with them he was sent back to the simulator for training after it was decided his landings were too slow/soft.

Bullshiat.

a) The landing is 0.00001% of the flight time.
b) The pilot doesn't decide the rate of descent.
c) Hard landings are actually safer (so long as you stay within design limits). The biggest danger on landing is bouncing up into the air again.
d) ...half a dozen other reasons.

Eh. Sorry to tell you sparky but that actually happened. Regardless of your theories he *was* sent back to the simulator for the reasons I mentioned.