Alton Brown would be more competitive than the Raiders tomorrow.

Why, is he on? Because I'd rather watch Alton Brown than the Cowboys.

<SHRUG> Alton Brown does his job better, that's for sure.

Alton Cowboys who?

Briefly read the article, and seems like a Ric Romero piece if I ever saw one. I can count the number of women I've dated who can cook on one hand. Personally, I think the notion of women knowing how to cook went out of style with the baby boomers. And screw the food network. Let's do some real cooking. I just started salt curing my 18lb easter ham. Should be ready to smoke and hang in March.

If you don't know how to make your own bacon, just what sort of man are you?

They could do worse. (new window)

And this is a bad thing?

Unlikely tag suspiciously absent...

It's all part of the pussification of America. Or else men are better cooks.

Uh, Packers/Lions, Raiders/Cowboys, and Giants/Broncos. Looks to be a full day of crappy games. Also, I have no idea who this Alton Brown person is. He must be from Cleveland.

dudemanbro: It's all part of the pussification of America. Or else men are better cooks.

We are

rcain: Alton Cowboys who?

Briefly read the article, and seems like a Ric Romero piece if I ever saw one. I can count the number of women I've dated who can cook on one hand. Personally, I think the notion of women knowing how to cook went out of style with the baby boomers. And screw the food network. Let's do some real cooking. I just started salt curing my 18lb easter ham. Should be ready to smoke and hang in March.

If you don't know how to make your own bacon, just what sort of man are you?

I grunt approvingly to this post

I've learned a lot more and had more fun cooking than I ever did by watching football. Women appreciate it more, too.

I just put my Turkey in the cooler to Alton's Turkey Brine recipe.

buckler: I've learned a lot more and had more fun cooking than I ever did by watching football. Women appreciate it more, too.

Why is it that women are attracted to gays?

I'm doing dessert this year, so I'm getting a kick out of this

4 chocolate brownie walnut pies w/ chocolate ganache
2 pecan pies
2 sweet potato pies w/ vanilla pecan sauce
2 pumpkin pies
bread pudding w/ vanilla butter sauce

I got game

DON'T TALK shiatE ABOUT ALTON BROWN. He is one of the coolest guys on TV.

Although I will watch the Raiders/Cowboys game hoping to see Oakland do to Dallas what they did to Cincy last week.

dudemanbro: It's all part of the pussification of America. Or else men are better cooks.

Most of the top chefs in the world are men.

That being said, I always follow Alton's instructions for cooking the bird. _Always_ brine the turkey, and lots of aromatics!!! Unfortunately if you haven't started that by now it's just about too late. High heat first, then cover the breast when brown with aluminum foil. Turn it breast side down and cook until just below done. Carry over cook till done. Only thing I'll do different is put a little bit of baking soda on the skin to make it extra crispy.

I also love his green bean casserole from scratch recipe.

Also having his cranberry granita recipe with vodka. Can't wait!

jackandwater: DON'T TALK shiatE ABOUT ALTON BROWN. He is one of the coolest guys on TV.

Please post a video of you crying about this on youtube. Please.

And I have nothing against the guy as I have only a vague idea that I got from this thread that he has something to do with cooking.

As the dominant hunter-slipper-gatherer in my home, I choose to assert my dominance through the violent act of bird cookery. First I assault the frozen bird, mocking it as I rend its flimsy plastic body suit. Then, after a few hours of light massage and drinking, while completely naked, I begin probing its helpless cavities.

To know more will cost you 3.99 per minute.

Oh, and NEVER STUFF THE TURKEY!

/this comment seems to start religious wars amongst my friends
//but my bird is that much more juicy

rcain: If you don't know how to make your own bacon, just what sort of man are you?

Wow. You make bacon. I'm a real man and I eat pig right off the bone.

/snicker... makes his own bacon. next thing you'll be telling me is that you have to make your own steaks
//snort

When I was selling kitchen products, every year just before Thanksgiving we'd have several guys coming in, most of them under 30, looking for whatever products Alton Brown told them they needed to cook a turkey.

doobliebop: Oh, and NEVER STUFF THE TURKEY!

heretic

Science is delicious!

Calmamity: Why, is he on? Because I'd rather watch Alton Brown than the Cowboys.

Yes,

Apple of My Pie: Alton makes a classic apple pie.

/there's an obelisk in the middle of the pie-crust?

Notabunny: I'm doing dessert this year, so I'm getting a kick out of this

4 chocolate brownie walnut pies w/ chocolate ganache
2 pecan pies
2 sweet potato pies w/ vanilla pecan sauce
2 pumpkin pies
bread pudding w/ vanilla butter sauce

I got game

Good for you. I'm buying no-sugar-added pumpkin pies from Ralphs.

/i win!

Notabunny: doobliebop: Oh, and NEVER STUFF THE TURKEY!

heretic



Stuffing = more mass in the center of the bird to heat to the temperature which kills salmonella. More mass = more time in the oven. More time in the oven means a dry bird.

doobliebop:

I also love his green bean casserole from scratch recipe.


To make Alton's green bean casserole from scratch, first you must create the universe..

/to lazy to create a meme/demotivational poster

doobliebop: Stuffing = more mass in the center of the bird to heat to the temperature which kills salmonella. More mass = more time in the oven. More time in the oven means a dry bird.

Yes and no. By arranging the coals in a ring around the edge of your Weber kettle bbq, you can easily maintain indirect heat at 300 - 325 and heat the bird+stuffing combo w/o drying. Yes, it takes about an hour or so longer. But an extra Anchor Steam goes a long way toward calming the nerves.

rcain: Alton Cowboys who?

Briefly read the article, and seems like a Ric Romero piece if I ever saw one. I can count the number of women I've dated who can cook on one hand. Personally, I think the notion of women knowing how to cook went out of style with the baby boomers. And screw the food network. Let's do some real cooking. I just started salt curing my 18lb easter ham. Should be ready to smoke and hang in March.

If you don't know how to make your own bacon, just what sort of man are you?

Agreed. Although I feel I should point out that Alton Brown devoted an episode to making your own bacon with a jerry rigged smoker.

bhcompy: Good for you. I'm buying no-sugar-added pumpkin pies from Ralphs.

/i win!

A no-sugar-added pumpkin pie? I it sweet? Do they use a sugar substitute? I've tried using sugar substitutes in other pies, but haven't had much success.

I lost all respect for Alton Brown when I saw his recipe for chili. Salsa? Come on, what a joke.

rcain: If you don't know how to make your own bacon, just what sort of man are you?

The kind that gets his wife to make it?

"Honey, I'd like some bacon!"

My boyfriend's a trained chef AND a huge Cowboys fan, so I'm really getting a kick, etc.

/going to let him cook while I drink beer and watch the game
//I shout play-by-play commentary to the kitchen
///slashie love

My wife and I made his "Box Fan Jerky" a couple of weeks ago; the jerky came out perfectly (we used our meat slicer instead of hand slicing).

Notabunny: I'm doing dessert this year, so I'm getting a kick out of this

4 chocolate brownie walnut pies w/ chocolate ganache
2 pecan pies
2 sweet potato pies w/ vanilla pecan sauce
2 pumpkin pies
bread pudding w/ vanilla butter sauce

I got game

Can I please come over?

As well they should.

/Alton Brown is the closest thing to a god I've ever known

Chariset: Can I please come over?

Park where you can. Beer is in the garage fridge. Lawn chairs are next to it. We'll eat around 4, but generally start nibbling around noon. I've got some little sausage cheese ball deals to start things off. Bring a pillow.

I just put stuffing in the little hole. Now I move on to the big hole.

Or do I?

You decide. Win a free Bugati.

SeamusFerrell: buckler: I've learned a lot more and had more fun cooking than I ever did by watching football. Women appreciate it more, too.

Why is it that women are attracted to gays?

Probably because they don't find gay men threatening, but I'll ask some gay guys after a torrid sex session with a woman who finds it arousing for me to make her a nice dinner.

I <3 Alton Brown, but Discovery has made me a Thanksgiving Day offer I can't refuse.



ALL DAY LONG!

Notabunny: bhcompy: Good for you. I'm buying no-sugar-added pumpkin pies from Ralphs.

/i win!

A no-sugar-added pumpkin pie? I it sweet? Do they use a sugar substitute? I've tried using sugar substitutes in other pies, but haven't had much success.

They may use Splenda. I like it. Tastes like every other pumpkin pie to me, which is exactly why I like it

ukparrothead: I just put my Turkey in the cooler to Alton's Turkey Brine recipe.

aye, me too. I'm gonna use Tyler Florence's bacon wrapped turkey recipe when I roast it tho...

Maybe they are bewildered by Alton's new AIDS chic look.

1. Kill it, clean it, and pluck it
2. Brine it.
3. Stuff its carcass with chopped apples, sausage and nothing else.
4. Dry rub and smoke it for untold hours with hickory, apple and mesquite wood.
5. Be thankful. Actually laughing about how good it is.
/remember children smoking is bad for you.

the stuffing thsts in the bird = god food

all you gotta do is cook it to ~180 before you place it in the bird.

not that hard

than all the juicy juice gets in that shiat.. mmmm

Ablejack: 5. Be thankful. Actually laughing about how good it is.

I'll bet! I've spent many happy hours here. (new window) You sound like one of the regulars.

My ex got me hooked on Alton Brown before we broke up. That guy is awesome. Now my new squeeze is hooked on Alton, and her cooking is getting better by the day.

And to make it all better, both my ex and my current are chemists.

/I like nerds.

Ablejack: 1. Kill it, clean it, and pluck it
2. Brine it.
3. Stuff its carcass with chopped apples, sausage and nothing else.
4. Dry rub and smoke it for untold hours with hickory, apple and mesquite wood.
5. Be thankful. Actually laughing about how good it is.
/remember children smoking is bad for you.

Jesus, that looks good. I don't have space in the fridge or a bucket to brine in this year, and my apartment management won't allow smokers or grills. Gonna be a straight-up roast turkey this year, I'm afraid.

*sigh*

Still, it's turkey.