Just wait until it's your turn to feed the baby at 2 AM, subby.

I guess the submitter isn't a parent. Not only would a self-heating baby bottle be useful at 2 a.m., but if you were out & about and wanted to feed your baby, you wouldn't have to be worried about being able to find somewhere to heat the bottle.

A Good Thing turned into an inflammatory headline? Good jaerb, douchemitter

Yknow what? I'm coining a new term, right here, right now.
n.Neofarker
1. A user of Fark.com who contributes to the site's future downfall by:
* Posting inflammatory or completely f*cking false headlines to articles
* Immature or lame sense of humor (usually revealed by their posts in their own thread)
* Threadshiatting or trolling 100% of the time

Feel free to rip this off, add, remove, whatever.

hm well i've had full custody of my kid since he was just under 1 yr old.

i'd usually heat up the bottles. but cold milk isn't the end of the world either. it works.

/probably doing it wrong
//tho the kid is now 4

This is all about when you're on the road. It's a pain in the ass to have to beg someone at a restaurant to heat it, and then you have to make sure they don't bring it to a boil before handing it to your kid.

Bathia_Mapes: I guess the submitter isn't a parent. Not only would a self-heating baby bottle be useful at 2 a.m., but if you were out & about and wanted to feed your baby, you wouldn't have to be worried about being able to find somewhere to heat the bottle.

Here's a solution- feed 'em cold or room-temperature farking formula. If it's breast milk that has been frozen, of course, that's different. Then it would be sweet, just as you said in your second point. But I see all these helicopter parents that are obsessed with making sure it's exactly at 37 degrees Celsius, so it's at a proper temperature for the baby!!!1

Sheez louise, guize.

How else will I get my wrists to smell of milk?

What's wrong with tits?

WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAmbuIance

Awwwwwwwww... but baby's hungry now...

Marcus Aurelius: Just wait until it's your turn to feed the baby at 2 AM, subby.

You sound like it's an inevitability.

I've got an even better solution. When you get fed up with having to deal with a newborn and a grumpy girlfriend, just wait until the girlfriend is at work and the baby is at daycare, then pack all your stuff up and leave without giving a forwarding address.

That's what I did, and it REALLY improved the quality of my life. Even better, she'll never find me because the whole time I knew her, I used a phony name.

geniusiknowit: What's wrong with tits?


/or: silicone

Atomic Spunk: I've got an even better solution. When you get fed up with having to deal with a newborn and a grumpy girlfriend, just wait until the girlfriend is at work and the baby is at daycare, then pack all your stuff up and leave without giving a forwarding address.

That's what I did, and it REALLY improved the quality of my life. Even better, she'll never find me because the whole time I knew her, I used a phony name.

Dad!!!

ragekage: Bathia_Mapes: I guess the submitter isn't a parent. Not only would a self-heating baby bottle be useful at 2 a.m., but if you were out & about and wanted to feed your baby, you wouldn't have to be worried about being able to find somewhere to heat the bottle.

Here's a solution- feed 'em cold or room-temperature farking formula. If it's breast milk that has been frozen, of course, that's different. Then it would be sweet, just as you said in your second point. But I see all these helicopter parents that are obsessed with making sure it's exactly at 37 degrees Celsius, so it's at a proper temperature for the baby!!!1

Sheez louise, guize.

Ah, there's nothing like the advice of non-parents to brighten up a day. Congrats - you've got it all figured out! I'm sure you'll be a wonderful parent without any problem at all. The rest of us have a lot to learn from the likes of you.

/eyeroll

When baby wants feeding baby wants feeding. NOW!

In my limited experience of nephews and nieces.

The kind of people who will buy this are not the trailer-trash mamas who squeeze out a new one every year and consider Spaghetti-O's with meatballs and Mountain Dew to be a well-balanced meal.

geniusiknowit: What's wrong with tits?

There's only two of them?

Remember how well the coffee worked?

First baby bursts into flames and they will blame the floormats.

dionada: The kind of people who will buy this are not the trailer-trash mamas who squeeze out a new one every year and consider Spaghetti-O's with meatballs and Mountain Dew to be a well-balanced meal.

well if you get the spaghetti-Os _with_ meatballs....

karmachameleon: Ah, there's nothing like the advice of non-parents to brighten up a day. Congrats - you've got it all figured out! I'm sure you'll be a wonderful parent without any problem at all. The rest of us have a lot to learn from the likes of you.

/eyeroll

I believe she's a pediatric nurse. So her opinion is backed up by knowledge instead of "but MacSkylar's esophagus will get cold!"

Sir Charles: hm well i've had full custody of my kid since he was just under 1 yr old.

i'd usually heat up the bottles. but cold milk isn't the end of the world either. it works.

/probably doing it wrong
//tho the kid is now 4

Depends on the age of the baby. A newbie really should have a warm bottle.

Ah yes, because letting the hungry baby cry while waiting for you to heat the bottle is "quality time".

Marcus Aurelius: Just wait until it's your turn to feed the baby put on a condom at 2 AM, subby.

Problem solved

dionada: karmachameleon: Ah, there's nothing like the advice of non-parents to brighten up a day. Congrats - you've got it all figured out! I'm sure you'll be a wonderful parent without any problem at all. The rest of us have a lot to learn from the likes of you.

/eyeroll

I believe she's a pediatric nurse. So her opinion is backed up by knowledge instead of "but MacSkylar's esophagus will get cold!"

I may be thinking of someone else.

they need something like this for coffee travel mugs if they don't already have it

All you need are these:

Gramma: Depends on the age of the baby. A newbie really should have a warm bottle.

not that i dont agree but like what if they don't? do they grow up to be serial killers? do they catch fire at some point?

/wouldn't ever disagree with Gramma

Running hot water over the bottle takes 2 minutes. We have a bottle warmer that sits on our nightstand, and one for the car that warms a bottle in 60 seconds. Why would you take an unfed baby to a restaurant, or take one to a restaurant period?

Unless these bottles cost the same or slightly more than a nightstand warmer and regular bottle I can't see the need.

These bottles may not take anytime to heat the milk, but they take 25 minutes in boiling water to recharge. So now after you are done feeding, you need to wash the bottle and then boil the heating element for 25 minutes. That's way better than running a regular bottle under warm water for a couple minutes.

metametameta: Ah yes, because letting the hungry baby cry while waiting for you to heat the bottle is "quality time".

Yes, it IS.

Your definition seems distorted.

Sir Charles: dionada: The kind of people who will buy this are not the trailer-trash mamas who squeeze out a new one every year and consider Spaghetti-O's with meatballs and Mountain Dew to be a well-balanced meal.

well if you get the spaghetti-Os _with_ meatballs....

What I want to know is, when are scientists going to come up with Spaghetti-O's that heat themselves in 60 seconds. Microwaving is too much work.

/sounds fat

skinink: Teat.

That was all I came into post. Just the word teat.

I'm a little confused by this device, though.

Why can't we have a similar, teatless device, that can heat to 140F in, say, 1.5 minutes? You could put soup or something in it, and not warm it up for a few hours while traveling or working, then hit the button and bam.

dionada: dionada: karmachameleon: Ah, there's nothing like the advice of non-parents to brighten up a day. Congrats - you've got it all figured out! I'm sure you'll be a wonderful parent without any problem at all. The rest of us have a lot to learn from the likes of you.

/eyeroll

I believe she's a pediatric nurse. So her opinion is backed up by knowledge instead of "but MacSkylar's esophagus will get cold!"

I may be thinking of someone else.

Any parent (or nurse) will tell you that heating a baby bottle isn't "helicopter parenting". It's simply more comfortable for the baby to drink, hence they drink better and more quietly - that's good for both baby and parent. Goodness forbid we might do something to make our kids enjoy life a little more, or something that makes a parent's hectic life a little less hectic.

karmachameleon: Goodness forbid we might do something to make our kids enjoy life a little more

see now this wasn't ever a part of my parents thinking.

nor is it part of mine.

they can have fun on their own time.

/and you know the germans make good things

60 seconds? Running hTickleMyElmo: This is all about when you're on the road. It's a pain in the ass to have to beg someone at a restaurant to heat it, and then you have to make sure they don't bring it to a boil before handing it to your kid.

"Can I have a glass of hot water please?"

ragekage: Bathia_Mapes: I guess the submitter isn't a parent. Not only would a self-heating baby bottle be useful at 2 a.m., but if you were out & about and wanted to feed your baby, you wouldn't have to be worried about being able to find somewhere to heat the bottle.

Here's a solution- feed 'em cold or room-temperature farking formula. If it's breast milk that has been frozen, of course, that's different. Then it would be sweet, just as you said in your second point. But I see all these helicopter parents that are obsessed with making sure it's exactly at 37 degrees Celsius, so it's at a proper temperature for the baby!!!1

Sheez louise, guize.

What the bottle does is to heat the formula or pumped breast milk to the temperature of breast milk straight from mommy. I can't speak for all babies, but I know my son ate better when I heated up his bottle in a pan of hot water.

Instant formula FTW. Warm tap water + powdered formula. My daughter never knew the difference.

Yep, we're horrible parents. We even made lots of noise and racket when she was napping & sleeping.

/Jet exhaust from the helicopter engine is never good for the kid.

Heh.

After watching my sister and her 5 kids, it's only the first couple of kids that get the perfectly warmed bottle anyway.

By the time you get to the last few, it's just "Make sure the baby isn't eating anything sharp," and they're usually the healthiest of the bunch.

karmachameleon: dionada: dionada: karmachameleon: Ah, there's nothing like the advice of non-parents to brighten up a day. Congrats - you've got it all figured out! I'm sure you'll be a wonderful parent without any problem at all. The rest of us have a lot to learn from the likes of you.

/eyeroll

I believe she's a pediatric nurse. So her opinion is backed up by knowledge instead of "but MacSkylar's esophagus will get cold!"

I may be thinking of someone else.

Any parent (or nurse) will tell you that heating a baby bottle isn't "helicopter parenting". It's simply more comfortable for the baby to drink, hence they drink better and more quietly - that's good for both baby and parent. Goodness forbid we might do something to make our kids enjoy life a little more, or something that makes a parent's hectic life a little less hectic.

It's a slippery slope. One day you're heating the bottle, the next day you're calling the CEO of a company to b*tch them out for not hiring your kid.

Obviously I'm being sarcastic, but I was reading an article today about helicopter parenting so it's fresh on my mind. Apparently some parents think it's a good idea to take a picture of their child every day before school, so if the kid goes missing the cops have a current photo of them in the clothes they were wearing. That seems a little extreme to me. Warming up a bottle? Meh. I'm never going to have kids anyway, so they can eat caviar and paint chips. Cold, for all I care.

I am now convinced that there are hired aggitation bots planted in otherwise low comment threads to generate hits - the needlessly inflammatory headline coupled with the sheer shortsighted idiocy of sone of these comments is just whargarbling.

Without RTFA, I bet this is chemistry. Like the muscle heater patch that burned me once.

WARNING: Chemical reactions can fark up your whole day.

geniusiknowit: What's wrong with tits?

Babies keep hogging them?

GaryPDX: Without RTFA, I bet this is chemistry.

no, it's SCIENCE.

nagchampa: I am now convinced that there are hired aggitation bots planted in otherwise low comment threads to generate hits - the needlessly inflammatory headline coupled with the sheer shortsighted idiocy of sone of these comments is just whargarbling.

Is wharrgarbling synonymous with mind-boggling?

geniusiknowit: What's wrong with tits?

Yeah. Plus along with all the wonderful stuff in breast milk like digestive enzymes and immune boosters, there's a substance released that knocks the kid out by the end of the feeding. All natural sedative.

Breasts. They produce nice, fresh, warm, all-natural baby food, and it's usually available on-demand for the baby.

No bottle to heat. No bottle to clean. No need to rummage through a diaper bag for anything.

Too many modern women have issues with breastfeeding.

guytoronto: Breasts. They produce nice, fresh, warm, all-natural baby food, and it's usually available on-demand for the baby.

No bottle to heat. No bottle to clean. No need to rummage through a diaper bag for anything.

Too many modern women have issues with breastfeeding.

Yes.

Like working and not being there with the breasts for the baby to feed at; having sore nipples from being on their fifth kid; having a really hungry baby and starting to dry up as he gets near to weaning age; being at Disneyland with the babies during the Xmas parade and its just too damn cold to whip those bad girls out...

These are all reasons my sister has not breastfed at times (though she has never had an "issue" with breastfeeding and all hers were mostly breastfed babies).

But it takes only 12 seconds to heat up the water in the microwave to body temperature... Slightly longer for fridge-cold breast milk. Instant read thermometer is handy in the beginning, until you figure out the power of your microwave.

Many formula packages warn not to use the microwave to heat up the water, though. I'm not really sure why, unless some idiots would just nuke the water for a minute and then make the milk out of that.

finnished: But it takes only 12 seconds to heat up the water in the microwave to body temperature... Slightly longer for fridge-cold breast milk. Instant read thermometer is handy in the beginning, until you figure out the power of your microwave.

Many formula packages warn not to use the microwave to heat up the water, though. I'm not really sure why, unless some idiots would just nuke the water for a minute and then make the milk out of that.

The problem is that microwaves don't heat evenly, so you can end up with a pocket of superhot water and burn the tyke. The solution, of course, is to shake the bottle to mix it up but some retards don't think of that.

/Never microwaved a bottle
//Just popped a tit in the baby's mouth
///Lazy and cheap