I've got some advice, Mr. Cliett.
The next time you're planning to try it?
Just follow these tips:
First, butter your hips,
Then spend a few months on a diet.

I've been burgled several times, so I'm getting a kick out of thinking about shooting him in the head

ITS A TRAP!

Dude, there should be a PSA telling people that just because you played the Metal Gear series doesn't mean you can really do any of that shiate.

It's bad enough he got caught the first time he robbed it...but to go back?
That takes some guts. Or stupidity. Maybe both.

Trapp, Trapp, Trapp, Trapp, Trapp, Trapp, Trapp, Trapp, Trapp, Trapp, Trapp, Trapp, Trapp, Trapp, Trapp, Trapp, Trapp, Trapp, Trapp, Trapp, Trapp, Trapp:

/it's a...

Might want to consider a career change.

Haines City on Fark?? thats umpossible!!!! what a dumbass,I know the family that owns the business good people.

"...You again?"
/Got nothin' besides
//working 5 to 10 in a stop and shop today
///day before thanksgiving
////pray for me internets, i'll need it.

FTA: "He's not a regular customer," said Danny Paulino, a member of the family that owns the full-service market, which has a butcher shop and hot food counter.

Strange that they added a seemingly-unrelated advertisement for the store in the middle of the article.

Trapped in a cooking exhaust, and from the looks of it, one that hangs over a deep fryer: Gross!

But to be so stupid as to do the same thing which sent him jail 5 years ago...boggle.

I mean seriously, did he think "I'll make it this time around!"? What was genius going to do once inside the store (which are typically locked with swinging deadbolts so you can't just waltz out), after the motion sensor equipped alarm went off?

I know he's a criminal, I know he is stupid, but why don't these dorks plan anything out; had he thought about this for more than a second, he would have been able to come up with a method that would've allowed him access in and out of the building (though likely not without setting off the alarm, unless he got lucky) without being trapped...

Maybe this time he should be sentenced to 15 years, plus mandatory remedial education...

pretzel_chic: It's bad enough he got caught the first time he robbed it...but to go back?
That takes some guts. Or stupidity. Maybe both.

in his defense, there was an Ocean's 13 and he does have that weird George Clooney haircut so...

convicted 14 times and stealing is his thing? maybe time to throw him into a wood chipper, no?

Wants a word with this man. He's doing it all wrong.

/hot like living behind a wall of toilet paper

MaxxLarge: I've got some advice, Mr. Cliett.
The next time you're planning to try it?
Just follow these tips:
First, butter your hips,
Then spend a few months on a diet.

dangit, Maxx, you got me started.

MaxxLarge sure gives good advice.
but crackheads like this don't think twice
'bout feeding their habit
It's theft, sir, dangnabbit,
consider that while you're on ice.

/Robert Frost, I ain't.

pretzel_chic: It's bad enough he got caught the first time he robbed it...but to go back?
That takes some guts. Or stupidity. Maybe both.


Maybe he just wanted to go back to prison?


Times are tough for everyone, much less a guy with felony convictions just out of prison. I doubt he was in a maximum security hell hole either.

Trap thread?

Ghastly: crossdresser pic

I hate you.

5 years he sat in his cell planning his comeback.

Bunnyhat: I doubt he was in a maximum security hell hole either.

Yep, minimum security country club...

Link to his "facebook" page (new window)

The Burger Burglar....
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3MZQSBl9ZJ0 (pops)

Dangling intruder rescued from vent at Denver pizzeria
By Howard Pankratz
The Denver Post
Posted: 03/20/2009 08:45:29 AM MDT
Updated: 03/20/2009 04:18:42 PM MDT
http://www.denverpost.com/breakingnews/ci_11958219 (pops)

The manager of a Blackjack Pizza store in north Denver got the surprise of his life this morning when he found a man's legs hanging from a vent above the restaurant's oven and a voice yelling, "Help me, help me."

The man - who is 5-foot-10 and 170 pounds - had been stuck in the duct for five to six hours, he told rescuers from the Denver police and fire departments.

Police spokesman Sonny Jackson said that the outcome for the intruder, who is being held for investigation of burglary and criminal mischief, was much better than it could have been. Jackson said it was lucky the manager came in early and that the oven didn't come on automatically.

"He was fortunate," said Jackson of the suspected burglar. "He could have asphyxiated. He could have died."

Jackson identified the suspect as 21-year-old Andrew Baca. He is currently at Denver Health Medical Center on a jail hold.

Jackson said police got a call from the manager of the restaurant, at 3535 Quebec St., at about 6:45 a.m.

Baca suffered minor cuts and abrasions, said Phil Champagne, spokesman for the Denver Fire Department.

It took firefighters 20 to 25 minutes to extricate him from the vent, Champagne said, and Baca's clothes were removed during the rescue effort.

On Thursday, an electrician working at a Steamboat Springs restaurant died when he crawled into an exhaust vent and apparently was asphyxiated.

He was identified as Michael Goodspeed, 49, of Aurora.

Goodspeed and two others were spending the night at the Steamboat restaurant, and he was apparently locked out. He died when he tried to get in through the vent.