It's jaw-dropping this guy didn't get killed. His balls must be the size of



Yeah, 'bout that big.

Ha!

I can't believe some people can be so cruel. That was an incredibly selfish, amateur and despicable prank.

Oh, and I loved every second of it!

This guy is my hero.

That guy at the end of the video who was telling him what a great joke he pulled was obviously dragged there by his girlfriend.

I want to see this done at the next Harry Potter movie opening.

Again:

I can't wait for the Twilight thing to pass just so the defenders of the vampire mythos can shut up, too.

JerseyTim: I can't wait for the Twilight thing to pass just so the defenders of the vampire mythos can shut up, too.

But not before they settle the whole "Twilight" vs. "True Blood" debate by having Anna Paquin and Kristen Stewart mudwrassle.

That was all 9 kinds of awesome.

The vampire fans are worse than the zombie fans.

/hiding in my bunker waiting to shoot them in the head

That was a fantastic idea that was brilliantly executed. The results were lackluster. I expected more crying, or at least hissing or some shiat. I have no idea what vampires are anymore.

FTFA: "This video comes to us from "Funny or Die", home to a bajillion funny videos."

Die.
But this is pretty awesome.

IAmNotRickMoranis: But not before they settle the whole "Twilight" vs. "True Blood" debate by having Anna Paquin and Kristen Stewart mudwrassle.

I'ld pay to watch that.

I thought it was a little mean and self-serving at first, but then I got to the end with the biatchy girl and thought that yes, some of them deserved that.

Should have shown a stag film.

Isn't that the blond kid from the Bill & Ted movies?

I've been saying this from teh beginning. Vampires are blood-sucking monsters, not your boyfriend.

But in all fairness, if there's going to be an image of teh teenage girl's vampire love-interest, couldn't we have a teenage boys version?

Oh, right. Porn.

My life experience is richer for having viewed that footage.

but now im goin to be saying "baloney!" all day

they should have had a video presentation on the "real" vampires. Twilight fans can't read--obviously, or they would have thrown out the books before finishing them because Stephanie Meyer can't write--so talking at them won't work either. They need visual stimulation.

point51: they should have had a video presentation on the "real" vampires. Twilight fans can't read--obviously, or they would have thrown out the books before finishing them because Stephanie Meyer can't write--so talking at them won't work either. They need visual stimulation.


You're right, these people need visual treatment.
/gootse.
// Followed by tubgirl.
/// Followed by 2 girls 1 cup.
//// Fill in with 2 hours of bondage pr0n.

At the end they should have barred the doors and burned down the building.

I can't help but remember last year when a bunch of attendees to a Star Trek convention in Dallas or Austin thought they were going to see a screening of Wrath, but instead were treated to a full sneak preview of the new Star Trek movie, weeks before it was released in theaters. Complete with Nimoy appearance too (or maybe it was JJ).

I wonder what the online reaction would have been had those attendees been told they were getting the Star Trek 2009 sneak, but instead been subjected to a real life "Have you ever kissed a girl" speech?

Said it before, will keep saying it: You all need to lay off the Twilight fans. There but for the grace of God. Oh wait, that's not right, you go there every time you purchase the 2nd Extended Remastered Directors 3rd Commentary Track Special Edition Blu-Ray of Wrath, Fellowship, New Hope, etc etc. I've never seen/read a Twilight property, and I probably never will. But I'm damn sure not going to look down my nose at someone who does, when I can name more than 50 mutants in the MU off the top of my head.

This part both made my night and makes me worry about the population:

"They will rape you!"
Fans: "Woooooooooooooooooooo!"

veive: point51: they should have had a video presentation on the "real" vampires. Twilight fans can't read--obviously, or they would have thrown out the books before finishing them because Stephanie Meyer can't write--so talking at them won't work either. They need visual stimulation.


You're right, these people need visual treatment.
/gootse.
// Followed by tubgirl.
/// Followed by 2 girls 1 cup.
//// Fill in with 2 hours of bondage pr0n.

... you forgot Lemonparty.org

/for all those Palin supporters
//nsfw people :P

Good idea, but it had bad execution. They should have actually showed previews from real vampire movies (Nosferatu, Let the Right One In, etc) before telling the audience that it wasn't a real screening. At the very least, have somebody dress up as a vampire to scare the crap out of the audience.

And Twilight fans are the crazy ones. Right.

All the defenders of "real" vampires need to STFU and realize that 40 year old men are not the target audience. Everyone complains that nobody has original ideas anymore. Meyer had original ideas, whether you like them or not, and she gets bashed for it.

Besides, since when is teen/chick lit held to such high standards? Does every book have to be the same quality as Faulkner or Orwell or Dumas?

The hate is seriously becoming more annoying than any screaming tween.

/let the "you sound fat" comments commence
//not fat, single, or a virgin

there were way too many males excited to be at a twilight premiere in that clip.

I've only read a summary of the plot of the first movie, but why the hell was a vampire over 100 years old still in high school just because he was turned into a vampire when he was 17?

Is he incapable of grasping those core subjects? A late bloomer?

tribute: veive: point51: they should have had a video presentation on the "real" vampires. Twilight fans can't read--obviously, or they would have thrown out the books before finishing them because Stephanie Meyer can't write--so talking at them won't work either. They need visual stimulation.


You're right, these people need visual treatment.
/gootse.
// Followed by tubgirl.
/// Followed by 2 girls 1 cup.
//// Fill in with 2 hours of bondage pr0n.

... you forgot Lemonparty.org

/for all those Palin supporters
//nsfw people :P


Followed by the worst shock vid I've ever seen in some 10 years of depraved interneting.
glassass.com
NSFW and it makes 2 girls one cup look like a teddy bears picnic.
/if you can get by half of it you beat me

I agree that people should be allowed to enjoy whatever the hell they want and that not every piece of art in the world has to be of the highest caliber, but we've seen where such devoted fanship has led before (Clockwork Orange, The Warriors, etc.). Secondly, yes, it's for tween girls and all, but that doesn't mean that the vampires have to be so fruity; make him cute for the chicks, but Christ, give 'em a little edge. And what edge that does exist - as in the idea of a century old cannibal dating a chick in high school - is glossed over for fear that the inherent complexity is too much for its core audience to handle.

Once upon a time, films used to try to appeal to all audiences.

Also, what that guy did was awesome, if a bit pointless.

Kazuya: Followed by the worst shock vid I've ever seen in some 10 years of depraved interneting.
glassass.com
NSFW and it makes 2 girls one cup look like a teddy bears picnic.
/if you can get by half of it you beat me

Is that aka one guy one cup (jar)?

If it is, I've seen it...... my god...

Kazuya

I just made the mistake of checking out glassass.com. I never thought I would need an image from Gorgor to rinse the bad taste out.

Snatch Bandergrip: I agree that people should be allowed to enjoy whatever the hell they want and that not every piece of art in the world has to be of the highest caliber, but we've seen where such devoted fanship has led before (Clockwork Orange, The Warriors, etc.). Secondly, yes, it's for tween girls and all, but that doesn't mean that the vampires have to be so fruity; make him cute for the chicks, but Christ, give 'em a little edge. And what edge that does exist - as in the idea of a century old cannibal dating a chick in high school - is glossed over for fear that the inherent complexity is too much for its core audience to handle.

Once upon a time, films used to try to appeal to all audiences.

Also, what that guy did was awesome, if a bit pointless.

I disagree that they have no "edge." All joking aside, they're fairly indestructible compared to traditional vampires. They can't burn up in sunlight. Stakes can't hurt them. No issues with garlic or holy water.

Also, Edward is the only of them that ever purposefully killed humans. He left the family for awhile to live on his own and feed off of humans.

Well, I suppose Jasper had his fair share of humans, but that was before he knew the Cullens.

/ducks and runs

Buddy of mine got dragged to it by his wife for the 12:01 screening. The theater was full of 30-40 year old half-drunk women, and him. When werewolf boy took off his shirt the crowd collectively gasp. The one male in the audience had to shout "easy, cougars" to reel them back in.

This is getting disturbing.

Kyro

You just rekindled my anger at the double standard that it is now apparently okay that grown women lust after middle schoolers while even young men are deviant pedophiles if they ogle any girl under 25.

Video is blocked at work, can I get a synopsis?

Sid_6.7: I've only read a summary of the plot of the first movie, but why the hell was a vampire over 100 years old still in high school just because he was turned into a vampire when he was 17? Is he incapable of grasping those core subjects? A late bloomer?

I've only read a brief summary too, but I would guess that if Edward appears to be 17 years of age forever, then he would have to do things a normal 17 year-old would have to do to avoid suspicion, like go to high school.

At least that's what I thought during the scene where Bella asks him "How long have you been 17?" when I watc I mean read a brief summary of the plot of whatever that first movie was called.

Spindle: Video is blocked at work, can I get a synopsis?

It's two minutes and 42 seconds of pure, undistilled, direct from the source, so sweet it'll make your teeth ache, unadulterated win.

(Guy references a post on a message board, agrees the whole thing should be stopped, cut to a bunch of happy doofs waiting to go in the theatre, and then they're told "this isn't the movie, it's a vampire intervention" (whatever the hell that is), told stuff like "vampires aren't nice, they'll kill/rape you, run up your credit cards, etc." Then they were told that the movie was actually being screened at some other theatre in town, which is where I stopped watching, cos, well, boring.)

LOL, that was hilarious. As a long time horror movie fan, from the Béla Lugosi days, I don't get why vampire movies are still so popular.

The vampire myth has been modified to fit the script. They can come out in the day, they are nice and can't really turn into bats. Totally bastardized for the fandom.

Porsche914: LOL, that was hilarious. As a long time horror movie fan, from the Béla Lugosi days, I don't get why vampire movies are still so popular.

The vampire myth has been modified to fit the script. They can come out in the day, they are nice and can't really turn into bats. Totally bastardized for the fandom.

Ummm...if you want to talk original go back to Dracula. He could come out during the day, but was just weaker.

Then again if you want to go back to the real original source material then in reality vampires are nothing more then jumped up zombies with delusions of grandeour. The original folk tales had the vampire or wampire, depending on who you ask, as a corpse that reanimated, was confused, and often tried to kill the liveing in a vain attempt to settle old debts or grudges.

It is only later story tellers that give them cool powers, sauve personalities, and make them attractive.

stacylambert 2009-11-25 07:01:27 AM
And Twilight fans are the crazy ones. Right.

All the defenders of "real" vampires need to STFU and realize that 40 year old men are not the target audience. Everyone complains that nobody has original ideas anymore. Meyer had original ideas, whether you like them or not, and she gets bashed for it.

Besides, since when is teen/chick lit held to such high standards? Does every book have to be the same quality as Faulkner or Orwell or Dumas?

The hate is seriously becoming more annoying than any screaming tween.

/let the "you sound fat" comments commence
//not fat, single, or a virgin

Original ideas? You are joking right? The only thing "original" about her ideas was the whole sparkly thing. The story is just a rip off of Romeo and Juliet, Buffy, Wuthering Heights, and every other teen romance novel ever written.
I have no problem if people like it if they can at least recognize it for what it is. Ridiculous Mormon soft-core girl porn written by a frustrated housewife who wishes her high school experience had played out like Bella's has.
Oh all the boys love her; she has the perfect brooding unattainable guy love her.. they live happily ever after (after he bites their half demon spawn from her belly)
Seriously.. original.... give me a farking break.

Anyone over the age of 15 who thinks these books are written well and are a great love story (yeah, an abusive, creepy stalker, sociopath is so dreamy) or thinks the movies are ZOMG THE BEST EVAR!!!11 are creepy.

Sid_6.7: I've only read a summary of the plot of the first movie, but why the hell was a vampire over 100 years old still in high school just because he was turned into a vampire when he was 17?

Is he incapable of grasping those core subjects? A late bloomer?

Because high school chicks stay the same age, and so does he. He was there for the virgin blood and fresh pussy.

Great prank, but lousy audience.

I wanted to see a room full of of fat Twilight fans/cat-moms freaking out and screaming at him, not college kids giggling and "whooo!"-ing nervously along while they try to act like they're in on the joke.

stacylambert: And Twilight fans are the crazy ones. Right.

All the defenders of "real" vampires need to STFU and realize that 40 year old men are not the target audience. Everyone complains that nobody has original ideas anymore. Meyer had original ideas, whether you like them or not, and she gets bashed for it.

Besides, since when is teen/chick lit held to such high standards? Does every book have to be the same quality as Faulkner or Orwell or Dumas?

The hate is seriously becoming more annoying than any screaming tween.

/let the "you sound fat" comments commence
//not fat, single, or a virgin

Sorry, not very original to be honest. Twilight is another ripoff of any number of horrible teen vampire love fest crap that's already been out there much longer.

And no one said it had to be great, hell I like the trashy Laurell K. Hamilton stuff, or at least the early stuff I've read so far. The difference is you don't see hordes of fans of most other vampire stuff thinking how romantic a person is for stalking someone, breaking into their room and watching them, hurting their friends for talking to them, and basically be borderline abusive.

I know Twilight is for a certain audience but then again so are a lot of other movies. What pisses me off is this piece of tween fluff is being marketed like it has mass appeal...

Pucca: stacylambert 2009-11-25 07:01:27 AM
And Twilight fans are the crazy ones. Right.

All the defenders of "real" vampires need to STFU and realize that 40 year old men are not the target audience. Everyone complains that nobody has original ideas anymore. Meyer had original ideas, whether you like them or not, and she gets bashed for it.

Besides, since when is teen/chick lit held to such high standards? Does every book have to be the same quality as Faulkner or Orwell or Dumas?

The hate is seriously becoming more annoying than any screaming tween.

/let the "you sound fat" comments commence
//not fat, single, or a virgin

Original ideas? You are joking right? The only thing "original" about her ideas was the whole sparkly thing. The story is just a rip off of Romeo and Juliet, Buffy, Wuthering Heights, and every other teen romance novel ever written.
I have no problem if people like it if they can at least recognize it for what it is. Ridiculous Mormon soft-core girl porn written by a frustrated housewife who wishes her high school experience had played out like Bella's has.
Oh all the boys love her; she has the perfect brooding unattainable guy love her.. they live happily ever after (after he bites their half demon spawn from her belly)
Seriously.. original.... give me a farking break.

Anyone over the age of 15 who thinks these books are written well and are a great love story (yeah, an abusive, creepy stalker, sociopath is so dreamy) or thinks the movies are ZOMG THE BEST EVAR!!!11 are creepy.

The things that people criticize are the things that make the vampires different in the books. Things that vampires have never done before. Say it with me now... original traits. Of course forbidden love isn't an original idea, but then neither is good versus evil which is the core theme of the majority of stories out there.

I think what's creepy are the guys trashing Twilight, yet shows like True Blood are okay because you get to jerk off to Anna Paquin's tits. I bet you anything that if Kristen Stewart or Ashley Greene were the runs running around without shirts you wouldn't have a problem with the Twilight movies. For once women are objectifying young, attractive male actors and all the men out there can't deal with it. For once it's the girlfriend/wife/sister/whatever that's drooling over underage actors and it's like the world is going to end. ZOMG MY GIRLFRIEND THINGS ROBERT PATTINSON IS HOTTER THAN ME SO HE MUST BE GAY!!!!111

You know, I was pretty excited about Watchmen, but Jesus Christ ladies. Sparkling vampires? Seriously.

stacylambert: I bet you anything that if Kristen Stewart or Ashley Greene were the runs running around without shirts you wouldn't have a problem with the Twilight movies

...now you're catching on.

Kyro: When werewolf boy took off his shirt the crowd collectively gasp. The one male in the audience had to shout "easy, cougars" to reel them back in.

Can we just become Rome and make it normal to want (and fark) jailbait? I mean we're already on the same road as Rome, let's at least make it enjoyable.

stacylambert 2009-11-25 08:44:53 AM

The things that people criticize are the things that make the vampires different in the books. Things that vampires have never done before. Say it with me now... original traits. Of course forbidden love isn't an original idea, but then neither is good versus evil which is the core theme of the majority of stories out there.

I think what's creepy are the guys trashing Twilight, yet shows like True Blood are okay because you get to jerk off to Anna Paquin's tits. I bet you anything that if Kristen Stewart or Ashley Greene were the runs running around without shirts you wouldn't have a problem with the Twilight movies. For once women are objectifying young, attractive male actors and all the men out there can't deal with it. For once it's the girlfriend/wife/sister/whatever that's drooling over underage actors and it's like the world is going to end. ZOMG MY GIRLFRIEND THINGS ROBERT PATTINSON IS HOTTER THAN ME SO HE MUST BE GAY!!!!111

I'm a girl so I really don't care about Anna Paquin's tits.

Anyway, there is NOTHING in Meyer's books that the vamps do (except sparkle) that hasn't been done before.
We've had vamps that have had special powers (Dracula could do all sorts of cool stuff) We've had vamps that fight for good and don't eat people (Angel, Moonlight, etc)
There is nothing special about any of the books or movies. Teenage girls liking them makes sense since they are just WB type teen fluff, but grown women should know better.

Unfortunately 140 million dollar opening weekend gives life to theory that this is a mass appeal movie. What the sales numbers fail to show is hmw many of these twilight losers saw the move 3-4 times just this past weekend? Here is what I don't get about the movie..the actors. Stewart is a twit in every interview she does, and Pattinson was not even a good enough actor to get a major role in the Harry Potter series (he was a glorified extra in the 3rd one). /rant off

Pucca: I'm a girl so I really don't care about Anna Paquin's tits.

and that's where I stopped reading