Court records say that Herbert Simpson of Philadelphia sent the 63-year-old Coughlin letters threatening to "expose a fictitious sexual tryst with two women" and demanding $20,000 to $30,000 to keep quiet.

Bob Uecker's stalker thinks this guy is weird.

I'm sorry, but you don't blackmail a guy with "Hey, he had sex with two women!!!"

This is one of those rare headlines that made me laugh out loud just on a first reading.

Send an email to Dashiell Bennett, the author of this post, at das­hiel­lnip­sd­a­e­dco­m.

Considering the story itself, I thought this was THE best way to end the article.

Sounds like this stalker was unstoppable.

did he hork his derp?

/Was this any good?

lol he's got dumbface

Doogled: /Was this any good?

Farking awesome, actually.

That's not what a stalker is.

Jeremy Shockey?

Jay Cutler?

Joey Harrington?


those 2 could pass for Speds

Maybe it was Trey Junkin.

/you had ONE job to do, you wanker. And you blew it.

He just thought Eli was stalking him because Eli was looking at him funny.

to diamondcutters

the giants is..the giants is number 1

JerseyTim: I'm sorry, but you don't blackmail a guy with "Hey, he had sex with two women!!!"

what you said.

Derp?

fuzzy dunlop: Derp?


Yes. Derp.

fuzzy dunlop: Derp?

Exactly.

"Cool story, bro" time. And I'm pretty sure I've told this in a thread before but whatever. Once I was at a Mets-Phils game at Shea and some Phils fan was being really obnoxious all game. So at some point, something good happens for the Mets and he yells out "At least our QB doesn't have Down's Syndrome." To which I replied "At least our QB has a Super Bowl ring."

It's the ultimate trump card, really.

Derp-dee-derp.

macadamnut: Derp-dee-derp.

Tom Brady looks only mildly surprised by this turn of events.

macadamnut: Derp-dee-derp.

Is Coughlin scarfing on a handful of grass in that pic??

FreakinB: fuzzy dunlop: Derp?

Exactly.

"Cool story, bro" time. And I'm pretty sure I've told this in a thread before but whatever. Once I was at a Mets-Phils game at Shea and some Phils fan was being really obnoxious all game. So at some point, something good happens for the Mets and he yells out "At least our QB doesn't have Down's Syndrome." To which I replied "At least our QB has a Super Bowl ring."

It's the ultimate trump card, really.

You sure showed that random fan in the crowd by referencing events you had nothing to do with.

Treygreen13: You sure showed that random fan in the crowd by referencing events you had nothing to do with.

I had exactly as much to do with it as he had with any Philly win. Or you did with any Cowboy win.

Your high horse. Come on down. We're fans. We shiat-talk.

FreakinB: Treygreen13: You sure showed that random fan in the crowd by referencing events you had nothing to do with.

I had exactly as much to do with it as he had with any Philly win. Or you did with any Cowboy win.

Your high horse. Come on down. We're fans. We shiat-talk.

My point was that it was, in fact, a "cool story bro".

Your story about shouting at a Phillies fan at a Mets game about Eli Manning being retarded with a super bowl ring is riveting, though. Please, tell us of your other adventures.

Treygreen13: FreakinB: Treygreen13: You sure showed that random fan in the crowd by referencing events you had nothing to do with.

I had exactly as much to do with it as he had with any Philly win. Or you did with any Cowboy win.

Your high horse. Come on down. We're fans. We shiat-talk.

My point was that it was, in fact, a "cool story bro".

Your story about shouting at a Phillies fan at a Mets game about Eli Manning being retarded with a super bowl ring is riveting, though. Please, tell us of your other adventures.

I didn't expect it to be riveting. Hence the preface.

But to humor your request, there was one time I was watching a Giants-Cowboys playoff game. The Cowboys were favored over the Giants, but the Giants took the lead and R.W. McQuarters picked off Romo in the end zone in the closing seconds to seal the win. The Giants went on to win the very Super Bowl that's been reference in this thread, while the Cowboys remain 0 for the decade in the playoffs.

Awesome, no?

Treygreen13: FreakinB: Treygreen13: You sure showed that random fan in the crowd by referencing events you had nothing to do with.

I had exactly as much to do with it as he had with any Philly win. Or you did with any Cowboy win.

Your high horse. Come on down. We're fans. We shiat-talk.

My point was that it was, in fact, a "cool story bro".

Your story about shouting at a Phillies fan at a Mets game about Eli Manning being retarded with a super bowl ring is riveting, though. Please, tell us of your other adventures.

Your comment on some anonymous person's internet post is riveting. Please point out other things in the world that you do not like, so that we may become as great as you.

FreakinB: Treygreen13: FreakinB: Treygreen13: You sure showed that random fan in the crowd by referencing events you had nothing to do with.

I had exactly as much to do with it as he had with any Philly win. Or you did with any Cowboy win.

Your high horse. Come on down. We're fans. We shiat-talk.

My point was that it was, in fact, a "cool story bro".

Your story about shouting at a Phillies fan at a Mets game about Eli Manning being retarded with a super bowl ring is riveting, though. Please, tell us of your other adventures.

I didn't expect it to be riveting. Hence the preface.

But to humor your request, there was one time I was watching a Giants-Cowboys playoff game. The Cowboys were favored over the Giants, but the Giants took the lead and R.W. McQuarters picked off Romo in the end zone in the closing seconds to seal the win. The Giants went on to win the very Super Bowl that's been reference in this thread, while the Cowboys remain 0 for the decade in the playoffs.

Awesome, no?

I remember that season well. The Cowboys played the Giants 3 times and beat them twice.

So congratulations on that 1 win, I guess.

Treygreen13: I remember that season well. The Cowboys played the Giants 3 times and beat them twice.

So congratulations on that 1 win, I guess.

I'll take that one over the other two, thanks.

FreakinB: Treygreen13: I remember that season well. The Cowboys played the Giants 3 times and beat them twice.

So congratulations on that 1 win, I guess.

I'll take that one over the other two, thanks.

I would too. I'm just saying that you should temper your smack with the fact that the Cowboys spanked the Giants every other time they played that season.

But that's how the playoff system works. You could be 4-12 in the worst division of all time, make the playoffs and rattle off a few wins to be the "WORLD CHAMPION". You can win 1 out of 3 against a team and be considered better because of the way it works.

Treygreen13: FreakinB: Treygreen13: I remember that season well. The Cowboys played the Giants 3 times and beat them twice.

So congratulations on that 1 win, I guess.

I'll take that one over the other two, thanks.

I would too. I'm just saying that you should temper your smack with the fact that the Cowboys spanked the Giants every other time they played that season.

But that's how the playoff system works. You could be 4-12 in the worst division of all time, make the playoffs and rattle off a few wins to be the "WORLD CHAMPION". You can win 1 out of 3 against a team and be considered better because of the way it works.

Better team that year? I'm not so sure. Do I care? No. The Super Bowl is the goal.

FreakinB: Treygreen13: FreakinB: Treygreen13: I remember that season well. The Cowboys played the Giants 3 times and beat them twice.

So congratulations on that 1 win, I guess.

I'll take that one over the other two, thanks.

I would too. I'm just saying that you should temper your smack with the fact that the Cowboys spanked the Giants every other time they played that season.

But that's how the playoff system works. You could be 4-12 in the worst division of all time, make the playoffs and rattle off a few wins to be the "WORLD CHAMPION". You can win 1 out of 3 against a team and be considered better because of the way it works.

Better team that year? I'm not so sure. Do I care? No. The Super Bowl is the goal.

Yep, you're right. However, the other 31 teams have to compare the season to something (besides the Super Bowl which only one team can win) and having two wins (and a great record) over the Super Bowl Champion is the highlight of the Cowboys season. Which is why we all watch football, right? For all the games of the season? If not, we'd only watch the Super Bowl.

Treygreen13: FreakinB: Treygreen13: FreakinB: Treygreen13: I remember that season well. The Cowboys played the Giants 3 times and beat them twice.

So congratulations on that 1 win, I guess.

I'll take that one over the other two, thanks.

I would too. I'm just saying that you should temper your smack with the fact that the Cowboys spanked the Giants every other time they played that season.

But that's how the playoff system works. You could be 4-12 in the worst division of all time, make the playoffs and rattle off a few wins to be the "WORLD CHAMPION". You can win 1 out of 3 against a team and be considered better because of the way it works.

Better team that year? I'm not so sure. Do I care? No. The Super Bowl is the goal.

Yep, you're right. However, the other 31 teams have to compare the season to something (besides the Super Bowl which only one team can win) and having two wins (and a great record) over the Super Bowl Champion is the highlight of the Cowboys season. Which is why we all watch football, right? For all the games of the season? If not, we'd only watch the Super Bowl.

Yeah, we watch the games of the season. In the hope that your team wins the Super Bowl. You can have a good season without winning the Super Bowl, but it is kind of a nice bonus. And by "nice bonus" I mean "the point."

Again, were the Cowboys a better team that year overall? Probably. Again, do I care? No. And you'd feel exactly the same way if the teams were reversed, so I don't know why you keep pursuing this.

In any case, early pre-holiday quitting time. Good times, Treygreen. Always fun to smack talk. Good luck tomorrow. Not that you'll need it since you're playing the freaking Raiders, but still.

FreakinB: In any case, early pre-holiday quitting time. Good times, Treygreen. Always fun to smack talk. Good luck tomorrow. Not that you'll need it since you're playing the freaking Raiders, but still.

You overestimate the Cowboys ability.

Well, I at least hope the offense improves.

Have a good Thanksgiving.

have you seen my football?

SB MVP ELI

saintstryfe

What is going on in that picture

The Incredible Sexual Egg: saintstryfe

What is going on in that picture

that's from when Brandon Jacobs scored a touchdown and upon running through the endzone he threw the ball at the playclock.