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(Contact Music) Stupid It's the battle of wits of the century: Jessica Simpson versus Perez Hilton. Dozens of brain cells hang in the balance   (contactmusic.com) divider line 54
More: Stupid, Perez Hilton, Jessica Simpson, Pete Wentz, captions, younger sisters, The Bronx, Bronx Mowgli, nephew  
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3758 clicks; posted to Showbiz » on 23 Nov 2009 at 8:14 PM   |  Make this a Fark FavoriteFavorite    |   share: Share on OMGTWITTER WEB2.0share on StumbleUponshare on Facebook  more»   |    Get this fabulous T-Shirt and impress the methane out of your friends! shirt it!

54 Comments   (+0 »)


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rmz [TotalFark] 2009-11-23 05:06:22 PM  
I don't know which side to root for. On the one hand, Perez Hilton is an attention-whoring asshole and a scourge on our culture. On the other, Jessica Simpson is a shallow, vapid moron.

 
beerrun [TotalFark] 2009-11-23 05:43:31 PM  
rmz: I don't know which side to root for. On the one hand, Perez Hilton is an attention-whoring asshole and a scourge on our culture. On the other, Jessica Simpson is a shallow, vapid moron.

Yeah, but she's got a great rack.

 
Marcus Aurelius [TotalFark] 2009-11-23 05:58:09 PM  
Based on the pic of this Perez Hilton person I saw the other day, he doesn't have any room to talk about anyone.

 
gopher321 [TotalFark] 2009-11-23 06:30:44 PM  
I believe this dispute can be settled easily...in a locked room...with Perez "Douchebag" Hilton and the manager of the Black Eyed Peas...


Hell, I'd buy tickets to see that.

 
Megain [recently expired TotalFark] 2009-11-23 06:36:23 PM  
Marcus Aurelius: Based on the pic of this Perez Hilton person I saw the other day, he doesn't have any room to talk about anyone.

what are you talking about? he's perfectly normal...

megain.smugmug.com

 
SpongeJamie - NoPants [TotalFark] 2009-11-23 07:15:39 PM  
what are you talking about? he's perfectly normal...

I'm somewhat surprised to see evidence of male genitalia, although that could just be the start of a gunt.

 
Megain [recently expired TotalFark] 2009-11-23 07:25:20 PM  
SpongeJamie - NoPants: what are you talking about? he's perfectly normal...

I'm somewhat surprised to see evidence of male genitalia, although that could just be the start of a gunt.


i just figured it was still wearing the strap-on

 
DansLaLuna 2009-11-23 08:20:23 PM  
Do I want to know what a gunt is?

 
Techhell [TotalFark] 2009-11-23 08:28:47 PM  
Dozens?

 
bin_smokin 2009-11-23 08:41:23 PM  
boobs VS moobs.

LETS GET IT ON!!!

 
Trik 2009-11-23 08:50:07 PM  
perez hilton is one of the most repugnant things in human society right now

 
Great Janitor 2009-11-23 08:51:51 PM  
Come on fight to the death!

/rooting for Jessica Simpson
//Better boobs, nicer legs

 
DubyaHater 2009-11-23 08:52:23 PM  
Is Perez Hilton gay or something?

 
Fano 2009-11-23 08:53:05 PM  
Trik: perez hilton is one of the most repugnant things in human society right now

We should have Prejean give him a cockpunch for good measure.

 
GonzoNihilist 2009-11-23 08:59:33 PM  
www.thedailyinquirer.net

I can't believe this guy doesn't walk around w/ black eyes all the time. I bet he spends a fortune on security.

 
imustbcr8zier 2009-11-23 09:18:17 PM  
there can be no real winners here..

 
johnson442 2009-11-23 09:25:54 PM  
Jessica Simpson is a reason to have functional eyes.

Perez Hilton, not so much, really.

 
moralpanic 2009-11-23 09:36:36 PM  
Jessica Simpsons, for all her dysfunction, at least only harms herself. Perez Hilton is scum and actively goes out to harm people.

 
LandOfChocolate [TotalFark] 2009-11-23 09:52:52 PM  
I know which side (boob) I'll be standing on

i45.tinypic.com
i47.tinypic.com
i49.tinypic.com
i46.tinypic.com
i48.tinypic.com

 
Digitalstrange 2009-11-23 10:05:45 PM  
if a dozen brain cells were the line in this bet then both side were betting 10 more than they could cover

 
UNAUTHORIZED FINGER 2009-11-23 10:11:35 PM  
GorGor, we need you to show DansLaLuna what a "gunt" is.

 
ultimate_loser 2009-11-23 10:13:27 PM  
i never though i would type this....

but i side with Jessica Simpson on this one.

Perez Hilton is a much bigger waste then she is.

 
Black Lagoon 2009-11-23 10:23:50 PM  
www.babble.com

 
bloatboy 2009-11-23 10:53:40 PM  
I'm pretty sure than in a feud between Perez Hilton and anyone who ever existed, and most fictional beings, I will not be taking Perez's side.

 
Lexann 2009-11-23 11:07:40 PM  
bloatboy: I'm pretty sure than in a feud between Perez Hilton and anyone who ever existed, and most fictional beings, I will not be taking Perez's side.

Agreed.

 
wet_dream 2009-11-23 11:10:04 PM  
If the battle was between Perez Hilton and Osama Bin Ladin, I'b be rooting for bin ladin, in fact, I'b buy his plane ticket over here.

 
Greta_VanHouten 2009-11-23 11:10:14 PM  
Megain: Marcus Aurelius: Based on the pic of this Perez Hilton person I saw the other day, he doesn't have any room to talk about anyone.

what are you talking about? he's perfectly normal...



That image made me nauseous.
I hate you.

 
Wolsey 2009-11-23 11:11:50 PM  
Greta_VanHouten: Megain: Marcus Aurelius: Based on the pic of this Perez Hilton person I saw the other day, he doesn't have any room to talk about anyone.

what are you talking about? he's perfectly normal...


That image made me nauseous.
I hate you.


I second that.

 
dramatools [TotalFark] 2009-11-23 11:12:32 PM  
Both are vapid. Both are AWs. Jessica gets my vote because she has funbags. Perez Hilton needs to go back to attacking Carrie "Self-Love" Prejean.

 
Ex Machina Deus 2009-11-23 11:26:23 PM  
rmz: I don't know which side to root for. On the one hand, Perez Hilton is an attention-whoring asshole and a scourge on our culture. On the other, Jessica Simpson is a shallow, vapid moron.

Needs 'You know how I know you're gay' picture.

 
DeaH 2009-11-23 11:34:53 PM  
His real name is Lavandeira? Really, he didn't need to change names to sound gay. Poor guy never had a chance.

 
rynthetyn 2009-11-23 11:36:51 PM  
wet_dream: If the battle was between Perez Hilton and Osama Bin Ladin, I'b be rooting for bin ladin, in fact, I'b buy his plane ticket over here.

Maybe Osama could finish what the Black Eyed Peas manager started.

 
runningscared 2009-11-23 11:37:44 PM  
Aww. And here I thought Perez Hilton was going to mention Jessica Simpson started working on www.fattyparty.com (new window and NSFW)

/I am dissapoint

 
bloatboy 2009-11-23 11:38:02 PM  
dramatools: Both are vapid. Both are AWs. Jessica gets my vote because she has funbags. Perez Hilton needs to go back to attacking Carrie "Self-Love" Prejean.

Carrie Prejean could be on national TV, calling for everyone to beat me down (or any other subject), and I'm pretty sure I would mindlessly nod, drool, then talk about how hot and smart she is.

 
06Wahoo 2009-11-23 11:41:05 PM  
Seriously, why hasn't anyone else slugged Perez Hilton? A few nights in a hospital would teach him a lesson.

 
wet_dream 2009-11-23 11:43:14 PM  
06Wahoo: Seriously, why hasn't anyone everyone else slugged Perez Hilton? A few nights in a hospital would teach him a lesson.

FTFY

 
bfriend13 2009-11-23 11:56:41 PM  
Ok, I was thinking the headline said Jessica Simpson versus PARIS Hilton. The dozens of brains cells thing still fits. Would be a better wrestling match.

 
Fano 2009-11-23 11:57:28 PM  
runningscared: Aww. And here I thought Perez Hilton was going to mention Jessica Simpson started working on www.fattyparty.com (new window and NSFW)

/I am dissapoint


Whats with the skinny chick with the big juggs at the stove?

 
kpottruff 2009-11-24 12:14:43 AM  
runningscared: Aww. And here I thought Perez Hilton was going to mention Jessica Simpson started working on www.fattyparty.com (new window and NSFW)

/I am dissapoint


hmmm.... Well I am cutting costs and using Crisco as lube nowadays so this seems like an oddly appropriate website.

 
runningscared 2009-11-24 12:23:50 AM  
Fano: runningscared: Aww. And here I thought Perez Hilton was going to mention Jessica Simpson started working on www.fattyparty.com (new window and NSFW)

/I am dissapoint

Whats with the skinny chick with the big juggs at the stove?


No idea. One of these is not like the other.

 
Puzzled Penguin 2009-11-24 12:24:27 AM  
Fano: runningscared: Aww. And here I thought Perez Hilton was going to mention Jessica Simpson started working on www.fattyparty.com (new window and NSFW)

/I am dissapoint

Whats with the skinny chick with the big juggs at the stove?


I was thinking the same thing...

 
OgreMagi 2009-11-24 01:14:19 AM  
moralpanic: Jessica Simpsons, for all her dysfunction, at least only harms herself. Perez Hilton is scum and actively goes out to harm people.

I disagree. Jessica Simpson is definitely harmful to my health. Just the sight of her causes a massive swelling. This can't be good.

 
kpottruff 2009-11-24 01:24:54 AM  
OgreMagi: moralpanic: Jessica Simpsons, for all her dysfunction, at least only harms herself. Perez Hilton is scum and actively goes out to harm people.

I disagree. Jessica Simpson is definitely harmful to my health. Just the sight of her causes a massive swelling. This can't be good.


It's just involuntary muscle tension. Just rub it and it will go away.

 
hmmurdock 2009-11-24 03:30:58 AM  
For years, I've kept what I call the "Bill Walton All Stars" list, which is a group of "celebrities" that are so douchey that I'm sure if I saw them in person, I would be unable to restrain myself, and would fling myself upon them and go "full Ralphy" on them.

Perez recently inspired another list that that will likely be named after him, and I hope and pray that he remains the only member. But if I were driving down the road and I saw Perez walking, I would not run him down or beat him up. Nay, I would stop and put him in my trunk and take him home with me. He would spend the rest of his days tied up in my laundry room while I did unspeakably cruel and painful things to him. Not a day would pass that he wouldn't regret his very existance.

I'm pretty much indifferent to Simpson. She's got a nice rack but she's kinda dumb... so I guess I'm pulling for Simpson in this one.

/Shhhhh! Ralphy! It's your Mother!!!

 
gopher321 [TotalFark] 2009-11-24 05:22:57 AM  
runningscared: Aww. And here I thought Perez Hilton was going to mention Jessica Simpson started working on www.fattyparty.com (new window and NSFW)

/I am dissapoint


I now know where gorgor goes for source pics.

 
Rose Red 2009-11-24 08:59:39 AM  
Fattyparty?????????? DAMMIT

 
Glenford 2009-11-24 09:28:42 AM  
Yeah, Dim vs. Half.

 
HellblazerPrime 2009-11-24 09:43:23 AM  
06Wahoo: Seriously, why hasn't anyone else slugged Perez Hilton? A few nights in a hospital would teach him a lesson.

Believing that Perez Hilton is capable of learning a lesson is probably a mistake on your part.

 
wet_dream 2009-11-24 10:09:53 AM  
HellblazerPrime: 06Wahoo: Seriously, why hasn't anyone else slugged Perez Hilton? A few nights in a hospital would teach him a lesson.

Believing that Perez Hilton is capable of learning a lesson is probably a mistake on your part.


You misunderstand our intentions, hitting Perez Hilton is purely for our satisfaction, not to teach him anything. Stupid is forever after all.

 
Fano 2009-11-24 10:30:26 AM  
hmmurdock: For years, I've kept what I call the "Bill Walton All Stars" list, which is a group of "celebrities" that are so douchey that I'm sure if I saw them in person, I would be unable to restrain myself, and would fling myself upon them and go "full Ralphy" on them.

Perez recently inspired another list that that will likely be named after him, and I hope and pray that he remains the only member. But if I were driving down the road and I saw Perez walking, I would not run him down or beat him up. Nay, I would stop and put him in my trunk and take him home with me. He would spend the rest of his days tied up in my laundry room while I did unspeakably cruel and painful things to him. Not a day would pass that he wouldn't regret his very existance.

I'm pretty much indifferent to Simpson. She's got a nice rack but she's kinda dumb... so I guess I'm pulling for Simpson in this one.

/Shhhhh! Ralphy! It's your Mother!!!


She has the distant unthinking stare of a golden retriever.

 
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