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(UPI) Obvious Doctors say rarely-performed "hemicorporectomy" procedure can add years to life of those who need it. But you'd be half the man you used to be   (upi.com) divider line 139
More: Obvious, plastic surgery, Dr. Jeffrey Janis, process, waists, surgeons, Dr. Robert McClelland, conflicts in iraq  
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26148 clicks; posted to Main » on 23 Nov 2009 at 1:32 PM   |  Make this a Fark FavoriteFavorite    |   share: Share on OMGTWITTER WEB2.0share on StumbleUponshare on Facebook  more»   |    Get this fabulous T-Shirt and impress the methane out of your friends! shirt it!

139 Comments   (+0 »)


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GiveMeFiveDollars 2009-11-23 01:34:12 PM  
balls

 
moondo 2009-11-23 01:34:13 PM  
You'll half to do better than a simple report to convince me.
/got nuthin

 
solcofn [TotalFark] 2009-11-23 01:35:08 PM  
cm1.theinsider.com

I'm half the man I used to be
This I feel as the dawn
It fades to gray



/got nothing.

 
Royale With Cheese 2009-11-23 01:36:30 PM  
solcofn: I'm half the man I used to be
This I feel as the dawn
It fades to gray



/got nothing.


Beat me to it. Wonder if that's played in the OR during a hemicorporectomy?

 
Greystoke 2009-11-23 01:37:07 PM  
Did you hear about the guy who had his entire left side removed?

He's all right now.

 
Slaves2Darkness 2009-11-23 01:37:08 PM  
Is that where they remove the Dodge Ram from your ass?

(READS ARTICLE)

Oh, so it is like getting a divorce.

 
Benjimin_Dover 2009-11-23 01:37:15 PM  
What a hemicorporectomy may look like. Gives a new meaning to the the term "manbag."

3.bp.blogspot.com

 
Leeds 2009-11-23 01:37:58 PM  
Anyone else think of the guy from the movie "Kids"???

"I have no legs"
"I have no legs..."

 
h2oincfs 2009-11-23 01:38:00 PM  
No.

No, no, no.

Let me die.

 
EZ Writer 2009-11-23 01:38:58 PM  
Johnny approves:


www.panfletonegro.com

 
40 watt range 2009-11-23 01:39:40 PM  
Do not want.

 
Leeds 2009-11-23 01:39:50 PM  
I had forgotten that his shirt says "Kiss Me I'm Polish!" Lol!

www.maniacworld.com

// Hot, like the quote

 
LeroyBourne 2009-11-23 01:39:53 PM  
Yes. Neuter all Texans.

 
factoryconnection 2009-11-23 01:40:51 PM  
Benjimin_Dover: What a hemicorporectomy may look like. Gives a new meaning to the the term "manbag."

The mental image I had previously was weird, or so I thought. Ummm... thanks?

TFA cites a dramatic rise in length and quality of life for those patients on whom the procedure is indicated. How freakin' low is your quality of life if chopping half of you off at the waist improves it dramatically? I suppose that bone infections, like the Wu Tang Clan, ain't nothin' to f*ck with.

 
3825968 [recently expired TotalFark] 2009-11-23 01:41:04 PM  
www.videodetective.com

Sees what you did there.

 
discospinster 2009-11-23 01:41:10 PM  
It's not as rare as the total corporectomy.

 
Claude Ballse 2009-11-23 01:41:29 PM  
4.bp.blogspot.com

//Hot, like the coal-fueled fire powering the steampunk wheelchair.

 
hammerbeck 2009-11-23 01:42:01 PM  
h2oincfs: No.

No, no, no.

Let me die.


This. Absolutely, positively do not want.

 
3825968 [recently expired TotalFark] 2009-11-23 01:42:29 PM  
i43.photobucket.com

 
dennysgod 2009-11-23 01:42:39 PM  
images.starpulse.com

You may need it after stepping on a landmine in Sang Bang or Dang Gong Vietnam.

 
DrFaustus 2009-11-23 01:43:35 PM  
www.lust-for-life.org

Approves?

/hot like radioactive waste

 
Ball Sack Obama 2009-11-23 01:44:44 PM  
unplugged.free.fr

 
offacue 2009-11-23 01:44:49 PM  
I'll bet that people who have had this operation certainly believe in yesterday......when they could walk.

 
Loucifer 2009-11-23 01:46:13 PM  
upload.wikimedia.org

Tell Merill to swing away.

 
bobug 2009-11-23 01:46:18 PM  
Claude- thanks for that. It was the first thing I thought of. :)

 
phlegmmo [TotalFark] 2009-11-23 01:46:34 PM  
"Look at me! I'm so waisted!"

 
madcan34 2009-11-23 01:47:23 PM  
I would think that you would call that procedure a SEMIcorporectomy for obvoius reasons, not the least of which is that a HEMIcorporectomy refers to the procedure which replaces your lower half with a huge combustion engine to improve mobility and towing capacity but it's matched with increased fuel comsumption. There is a more fuel efficient and ecologically sound alternative called the HIPPIEcorporectomy but that's a different article all together.

 
inelegy 2009-11-23 01:47:32 PM  
www.imfdb.org
^Knows about Bill Carson -- for a price^

 
FarkinFarker 2009-11-23 01:48:01 PM  
i41.photobucket.com

 
Gamer Grrrl 2009-11-23 01:48:21 PM  
"Okay, hemi means half, and corpor would be body, and ecto-wait a minute!"

*clicks the link*

"HOLY SHIAT!"

 
Wrong_Intentions 2009-11-23 01:50:12 PM  
Read that as "hemicoprorectomy." Such a difference one Latin/Greek base makes.

 
Kryler 2009-11-23 01:51:32 PM  
Aint no man gonna take that route with me

 
Ball Sack Obama 2009-11-23 01:51:53 PM  
Gamer Grrrl: "Okay, hemi means half, and corpor would be body, and ecto-wait a minute!"

*clicks the link*

"HOLY SHIAT!"


Did you see the next pic?

i41.photobucket.com

 
feefifofimmy 2009-11-23 01:52:19 PM  
Yesterday, all my troubles seemed so far away.

 
flaminio 2009-11-23 01:52:45 PM  
It can also give you a great career as a Kriss Angel shill...

 
duncanblackthorne 2009-11-23 01:53:42 PM  
Wow. It takes quite a bit to shock me anymore, but this is over that threshold. Given the choice of dying or having this done to me, I'd rather be left to die. I can't see having ANY quality of life after having so much of your body removed.

 
darksarin 2009-11-23 01:54:54 PM  
I'm not convinced this is either better or worse than a hemispherectomy: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hemispherectomy

"You want to remove half my kids brain!?"

"You want to remove half my body!?"

Neither sounds pleasant.

 
mtylerjr 2009-11-23 01:55:25 PM  
Speaking of half-people....

When I posted a link of the guy who split his face open when diving into the water, and I mentioned that that video was in the top 5 most disturbing videos I'd seen, someone asked me what the others were.

This is one of them: (Graphic, disturbing, NSFW) (new window)

 
Somaticasual [TotalFark] 2009-11-23 01:56:00 PM  
Now if only segway would branch out into the market, It would be an awesome combination.

//of half-human, half-machine nightmares.

 
FarkinFarker 2009-11-23 02:00:31 PM  
mtylerjr: Speaking of half-people....

When I posted a link of the guy who split his face open when diving into the water, and I mentioned that that video was in the top 5 most disturbing videos I'd seen, someone asked me what the others were.

This is one of them: (Graphic, disturbing, NSFW) (new window)


Holy living fark.

 
Nick Nostril 2009-11-23 02:01:08 PM  
Now just need to find someone with the top half of their body removed who might like to, you know, hook up.

 
TheGreatGildersleeve 2009-11-23 02:04:06 PM  
The review showed the surgery can add years and quality of life to survivors.

Mm, I'm not so sure about that quality of life issue...

/Time for a bigger basket?
//Obscure?

 
TheGreatGildersleeve 2009-11-23 02:05:29 PM  
Somaticasual: Now if only segway would branch out into the market, It would be an awesome combination.

//of half-human, half-machine nightmares.


windowmanager.blogspot.com

 
burgle23 2009-11-23 02:06:13 PM  
mtylerjr: Speaking of half-people....

When I posted a link of the guy who split his face open when diving into the water, and I mentioned that that video was in the top 5 most disturbing videos I'd seen, someone asked me what the others were.

This is one of them: (Graphic, disturbing, NSFW) (new window)


Half of me wanted to see that, the other half now claims lunch has been cancelled.
I really can't blame anyone for standing around and gawking.

 
indarwinsshadow 2009-11-23 02:06:59 PM  
I'm shocked. I wasn't aware you could even survive an operation this traumatic. What do they do with all of the major organs? Are they sequestered into the body cavity. Doesn't it crowd the other organs? What the hell happens to the circulatory system? Is it rerouted? Just farking amazing.

 
TheGreatGildersleeve 2009-11-23 02:07:26 PM  
Somaticasual: Now if only segway would branch out into the market, It would be an awesome combination.

//of half-human, half-machine nightmares.


or b)

thepmi.files.wordpress.com

 
TheGreatGildersleeve 2009-11-23 02:09:23 PM  
indarwinsshadow: I'm shocked. I wasn't aware you could even survive an operation this traumatic. What do they do with all of the major organs? Are they sequestered into the body cavity. Doesn't it crowd the other organs? What the hell happens to the circulatory system? Is it rerouted? Just farking amazing.

Unless they left my dkkk down there, I'd say just pull the plug.

/Heh heh. He said ...

 
dennysgod 2009-11-23 02:10:27 PM  
mtylerjr: Speaking of half-people....

When I posted a link of the guy who split his face open when diving into the water, and I mentioned that that video was in the top 5 most disturbing videos I'd seen, someone asked me what the others were.

This is one of them: (Graphic, disturbing, NSFW) (new window)



Am I right that this is that cop over in Vietnam that get run over by a truck or something. I don't think I could look again. Damnest thing is that cop is still alive and has some sort of prosthetic legs.

 
Crotchrocket Slim 2009-11-23 02:11:07 PM  
Let's see if my offerings before the image leeching gods have been accepted:
news.gotgame.com

 
Fundamental Thereom Of Farkulus 2009-11-23 02:11:55 PM  
indarwinsshadow: I'm shocked. I wasn't aware you could even survive an operation this traumatic. What do they do with all of the major organs? Are they sequestered into the body cavity. Doesn't it crowd the other organs? What the hell happens to the circulatory system? Is it rerouted? Just farking amazing.


pretty basic, actually. definitely have a colostomy, and either a supra-pubic catheter, or an iliostomy also. circulation would just be cut off, ie cauterized. liver is fed by portal circulation, so no problem there.

really, medically its quite simple.

 
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