Shocking, people can be a little too anti-tax for their own good. In my town, where many developments are 40 years old with 40 year old trees, residents prefer to pay $10 - 20 for paper leaf bags (depending on how many trees they have) or hire a private contractor to take the leaves, in lieu of paying a few extra dollars in property taxes to pay for a truck to vacuum up leaves at the curb.

I have never had a good experience with the Illinois DMV.

However, here in NY the DMV has been pretty darn efficient. At the Albany one there's a triage line that then slots you for a window specializing in what you need to get done. Even when they're completely slammed I have gotten out in about a half an hour; on non-peak hours it's usually ten minutes.

I have yet to have a bad experience with the DMV here in Minneapolis. A lot of things can just be done online, too.

The Onanist: I have yet to have a bad experience with the DMV here in Minneapolis.

Same here in Indiana--they have faster and friendlier service than just about any business I've dealt with.

I've had bad experiences with the DMV.

I went to a DMV express (they deal only in license stuff - no plates, no handicap stuff, no permits, no driving tests, just name changes, renewals, and the related). It took 90 minutes... in a DMV express. It was the longest I ever spent at any DMV... even the regular DMV is only an hour at most.

Motor vehicle in CT is OK... You sometimes can wait forever, however, it has improved over the years. The MVD office closest to me has limited hours, but you can get in/out real quick. That one may be on the chopping block.

The last time I was at the DMV, I ended up getting a little slip of paper with the number D223 printed on it. For the next hour and a half, I sat there while every possible letter/number combination you can imagine was called: A117, R785, C32, Q879, F566, A118, and on and on. It was almost 10 minutes before they called the first D, and that was D112. Then it went another 5 minutes: D113. Meanwhile every other number under the sun was being called. They were making up numbers to call. That soothing, detached woman's voice on the loudspeaker would just randomly pair some number to some letter and call it out and we'd all sit there clutching our little slips of paper, shaking our heads in despair as we avoided looking at one another. Those plastic chairs with the backs curved just enough to be completely uncomfortable, no matter how much you shifted or slouched or sat upright.

There was a group of small children, mostly girls, near the back, and they were chanting this rhyme over and over again. It never ended. People were tapping their toes along to it by the end, nodding their heads to the sing-song beat, tapping their fingers on their legs. Some were even mouthing along the words. And, truth be told, there have been times since that day at DMV that I've found myself standing in other lines and discovered that I, too, was mouthing these words entirely on my own. It is almost as if they are some sort of mantra, some channeling of energy or power that has become a part of my subconscious. I cannot forget them, and I am afraid for what they might mean.

one, one touch your thumb, touch your thumb because it's fun, beef!
two, two touch your shoe, touch your shoe because it's cool, beef!
three, three, touch your knee, touch your knee because it's free, beef!
four, four, touch the floor, touch the floor because you snore, beef!
five, five, touch your eyes, touch your eyes because they're wide, beef!
six, six touch your lips, touch your lips and give a kiss, beef!
seven, seven, touch your melon, touch your melon 'cause it's swellin', beef!
eight, eight, touch your waist, touch your waist and give a shake, beef!
nine, nine, touch your spine, touch your spine it's feeling fine, beef!
ten, ten, touch your chin, touch your chin and do it again, beef!

Help me.

The longest I ever spent in a DMV was the day I got my license. I got there at 7:45 so I could be the first person in line to get my driver's test (my dad's dumbass idea). The test started at 9:05 and I was leaving at 9:20.

Every other time I have ever had to go to the DMV and I've been there less than 15 minutes.

And, now, I can renew my license for ten years through their online system and get my license mailed to me.

CAN YOU IMAGINE IF A DOCTOR'S VISIT WAS AS BAD AS VISITING THE DMV?!?!??

ne2d: Same here in Indiana--they have faster and friendlier service than just about any business I've dealt with.

This seems to have been a recent development, though. I remember the trips to the DMV being a HUGE pain when I was 16 and, again, when I turned 21. However, when I went to update my license two years go I was in-and-out of the local branch in less than 15 minutes. Not to mention, online plate renewals reduces my visits to the DMV to once every few years.

bulldg4life: CAN YOU IMAGINE IF A DOCTOR'S VISIT WAS AS BAD AS VISITING THE DMV?!?!??

SOLCIALISM!!1!

And keep your Socialist hands off my Medicare!

I've been to doctor's offices that were far grubbier than the place where I got my full license from. All DMVs are not shiatholes.

But yeah, let's cut essential government bureaucracy because people are too stupid to know that they can't have services unless they pay for them with taxes.

bulldg4life: CAN YOU IMAGINE IF A DOCTOR'S VISIT WAS AS BAD AS VISITING THE DMV?!?!??

I'd rather visit the DMV than my doctor. The people at the DMV are nicer and don't stick things into orifices that are normally exit-only.

Why can't they take unemployed people who have the ability to do the job (ahem!) and put them on part time in order to get benefits. The paperwork burden for the employees goes down, service improves, and the unemployed feel useful. Since it's part time they could still go job hunting. It's like a WPA for white collar workers.

Not that I wouldn't rather do something else, but I, too, have never had a horrible time at the DMV.

The DMV in GA used to be terrible, but now you can almost everything online. It's fast and easy.

The last time I went to the DMV the only thing holding up the line were people completely unprepared.

"Naw I don't got my insurance with me. Do I need that?"

In my city, there's a nice little DMV office in a strip mall in the suburbs just for renewals (no testing) and if you get there inbetween the morning rush, lunch rush, and after work rush, you can get in and out there in about 5 minutes.

Some days, we don't let the line move at all.

We call those 'weekdays'.

Online or make an appointment and stop your biatching. It's fashionable to complain about the DMV, but service-wise there are many worse places that are for-profit businesses. Shocking, I know.

I've never had any trouble at the DMVs in Maryland although here I think it's called the MVA.

I don't get the complaint though... you have to wait? They're not slow, it's just packed.

Rapmaster2000: The DMV in GA used to be terrible, but now you can almost everything online. It's fast and easy.

The last time I went to the DMV the only thing holding up the line were people completely unprepared.

"Naw I don't got my insurance with me. Do I need that?"

Here in Savannah it's the same.

What u meen need insurant infos? What meen cash only? No take WIC card?

I renew the plates by the mail, and do as much as I can online. The things I can't do, like renew my DL, I loathe.

RussianPooper: Online or make an appointment and stop your biatching. It's fashionable to complain about the DMV, but service-wise there are many worse places that are for-profit businesses. Shocking, I know.

I'm looking at you Comcast. They are the most unfriendly, unhelpful morans to deal with. And that's after they install your cable and give you a time frame of 8am to 5pm and show up at 4:45.

soze: I have never had a good experience with the Illinois DMV.

It varies dramatically by office location. My last 2 visits (both at the Wheaton, IL office) have been quick, pleasant and effortless.

(This stands in stark contrast to my last 2 experiences at the doctor's office, or my last 2 experiences dealing with my health insurance provider.)

Prof.Xomox: I renew the plates by the mail, and do as much as I can online. The things I can't do, like renew my DL, I loathe.

Ugh, I lost my license while I was drunk at a bar. Called the next day and they said they didn't find one. So the following day went to the DMV and was waiting for 2 1/2 hours. I was literally the next number to be called, just then get a call from the bar saying they found my license. I wanted to kill someone.

Patty Bouvier and Selma Bouvier Terwilliger Hutz McClure Simpson, unavailable for comment.

The government will always cut back somewhere the public will notice a reduction in service instead of cutting out some turd "supervising" three underlings.

In Ohio, the state has closed BMV offices and raised fees. I haven't stepped foot in a BMV office in over 2 years when which is when got my motorcycle endorsement, but when I do have to go in, I'm usually in and out in 15 minutes.

The only times I do go in are for license renewals and registering new vehicles. Everything else, I do online. I'd do the license renewal online, but the state doesn't allow that. I have a license renewal coming up in a few months, hopefully the office closings haven't affected service times.

I do my renewals and anything else I can online. I've gotten my tags in the mail as soon as 36 hours after renewing online. Plus in Arizona your driver's license is good until you're 65. Still hate going or even calling, but fortunately I don't have to all that much.

I've been to hell. I spell it...I spell it DMV
Anyone that's been there knows precisely what I mean
Stood there and I've waited and choked back the urge to scream
And if I had my druthers I'd screw a chimpanzee-call it pointless

When I need relief I spell it THC
Perhaps you may know vaguely what I mean
I sit back and smoke away huge chunks of memory
As I slowly inflict upon myself a full lobotomy-call it pointless

Barbecues, tea kettles, gobs of axle grease
There comes a time for every man to sail the seas of cheese
Now, life's a bowl of bagel dogs, but there are unpleasantries
Cold toilet seats, dentist chairs and trips to DMV-call it pointless

I've been to hell. I spell it...I spell it DMV
Anyone that's been there knows precisely what I mean
I've stood in line and waited near an hour and fifteen
And if I had my druthers I'd screw that chimpanzee-call it pointless

Im not sure whatever the hell they did to fix it, but the BMV in Indiana is easier than ever. And the longest I've had to wait has been 20 minutes or so.

No longer are the standard troglodytes employed, everything needed for your transaction is checked at the check in so you don't waste anyones time, and they don't even bother with numbers now.. they call you by name.

So chalk one up that services improved in this state.

My local Auto Club also has DMV services for members.

California resident.

Pennsylvania's DMVs are godawful. I do as much as I can online, but I had to renew my license once (I'm not sure why, but for some reason, I couldn't do it online and had to physically go to the place), and I got there right when they opened at 8:30am (there was already a line outside). They had ONE.FARKING.LINE open. I sat there for an hour and a half. My number was 813 and they were still on 802. It was the day that one of the Harry Potter books came out, so I left, drove 20 minutes to Barnes and Noble, picked up my book, came back, and we were on 803.

I left at 1:15pm. At least I was halfway through the damn book at that point.

This is how I envision routine visits to the doctors office to be in the future.

In OH, the DMV offices are run by private contractors.
Same crappy offices and service as far as I can see.
All of you who think that the private sector is somehow magically superior to the public one should spend Sat. morning trying to renew your license at a privately-run DMV.

That said, the on-line and via-mail services are excellent. I don't know if those are state or private.

To all the people saying "go online or renew by mail, it'll be easier for everyone," I say "fark you" because that's how I renewed my California DL last month and I'm still waiting for my new license card after five weeks.

I called DMV last week, and by being polite to the person on the other end of the phone, learned that although DMV's computers confirmed that I had renewed my DL and my driving privileges were good through 2014, Der Governator's layoffs of the back-office staff means that what had been a 10-day process now takes a month and a half.

DMV is closed every Friday this month for budgetary reasons. My license expires Thursday, which means that tomorrow I get to go to the DMV office here in SF, just so that I can have a temporary license printed. I plan to take a good book and a fully-charged iPod, and have nothing else planned for the day. So much for the convenience of renewing on line.

Gray Davis was no prize as a governor, but the guy who replaced him has been an utter disaster. Gary Coleman would have been a better choice, as it turned out.

damageddude: people can be a little too anti-tax for their own good.

I have said this for years.

Thankfully, my next driver's license will be issued in Kentucky, by the clerk of the Jefferson County courts. I have lived in California for 22 years and will probably make it to 23. But by all that's holy, I will be gone before I've spent a quarter-century here. Enough is enough.

IdBeCrazyIf: Im not sure whatever the hell they did to fix it, but the BMV in Indiana is easier than ever. And the longest I've had to wait has been 20 minutes or so.

I'll add to the Indiana chorus, although I've never had a truly bad experience in 20 years in Lafayette.

I bet we're going to be hearing complaints after January, though. (new ID requirements)

I've seldom had a good experience with the DMV. Worst was when I was a teenager and I went for my license test. Some shriveled harridan behind the counter kicked me out and told me because my learner's permit was within 2 months of expiration I could not take the test. How that works when they give them out on your 16th birthday and you have to turn it back in at 17 is beyond me.

Anywho, we left. I got a new appointment two months later. Some other DMV person told me I was crazy for making up such a story and was certain I was lying about some nut telling me my permit was invalid before it expired. The shriveled harridan in question was there, admitted she was the one who told me all that and then refused to apologize. Mistakes happen.

And these are the same type of desk jockeys that will be running our health care. Nice.

Some of these "private" company DMV's are run by cronies of the state and retired state employees, so don't expect much.

Headline reminds me of the story here a short while about about smiling messing with face recognition software, so some states using digital photography have started asking people not to smile at DMV. And my first thought was: How likely is that to be a problem?

The RMV in Boston's Combat Zone will be closing or might be closed already. I thinks it's funny since the reason they put it there in the first place is to encourage development from the shiathole the area used to be. The state was only half successful there.

In an effort to save money, our local RMV closed its office in a nearby shopping plaza and relocated to a Turnpike rest-stop.

Of course the parking lot is about 1/2 mile away from the rest stop itself, and you have to cross a few poorly-lit truck lanes to get to it. But it's OK because they're going to paint the crosswalk a bright color so no-one gets run over.

And then when you leave the parking lot, you get to pull out onto a blind curve on a 2-lane state highway (with a "speed limit" of 50). But it's OK because they but a big flashing yellow sign in front of the entrance/exit to warn people that you're trying to pull out (because MA Drivers always pay heed to signs).

And, if you want to park closer you have to get on the Pike, go to the rest stop, then drive 15-20 minutes down the Pike to the next exit to get off, then 15-20 minutes to get home. But it's OK because they're going to give people vouchers for the 35 cent toll they incur from having to get on the Turnpike.

Oh, and there's no bathrooms there, so that means if you're waiting there for something and you or your kids have to take a leak you have to trapse across the parking lot and use the rest rooms at the rest stop, possibly missing your number in the meantime. But it's OK because they're the RMV and they don't have to have bathrooms for the "customers" like other places do.

And all the while the people in charge of it say we're big whiners for complaining - they're saving money!!!

I went to the DMV the other day and was only there for 45 minutes. So I'm getting a kick out of these replies.

tb tibbles: My local Auto Club also has DMV services for members.

I was a fan of that, until I was stopped and my car was towed away for "no registration". Whaaa?? I had the sticker! The cop said there was no record of it, have a nice walk home.

AAA neglected to forward my paperwork to the DMV.

Here in Michigan, they call it the Secretary of State office instead of the DMV. Aside from that heresy, it seems to work pretty well. If nothing else than because of the fact that I can do most stuff online or via the mail. I haven't had to visit the actual office in years.

Keep up the good work, MI SOS. I wish the medical industry was half as efficient.

The DMV is lucky I've only had one bad experience, and it only delayed me from getting a driver's license. Damn picture machines are always broken and they seemed to refuse to use my state ID picture until the manager was present a couple weeks later.

Try the DMV in cailfornia. Its like visiting a Third world country. Oh wait... It IS a third world country. I have NEVER got in and out in less than 2 hours. Thank you AAA for providing some DMV services! On line is the way to go, one nice thing I can say for this crappy state , is the DMV website is prettygood ,but sometimes you still have to go into that hellish place.... Lines out of the building. It can take an hour just to get in!

Worry not. The average DMV worker is a sharp, young movitivated go-getter. They will be fine. They are the future leaders of the world.

Renewed my license a few weeks ago, during my lunch no less. Grand total of 10 minutes. I didn't even have time to get my ass in the chair in the waiting area before they called my number.

Way better than dealing with my PC doctors.

Around my sister they put the DMV on the damn toll highway, so you have to pay just to get there. Real nice.

I've had them really mess up some things before, but for the most part they have been ok. They always seem busy and charge a farkload for everything, so why the need for budget cuts? Cut some fat out of the police departments.