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(USA Today) Cool 58-year old Chesley "Sully" Sullenburger says that his heroic landing of a jet in the Hudson river brought him "rock star sex" with his wife   (usatoday.com) divider line 143
More: Cool, Hudson River, NBC, Matt Lauer, US Airways, Laurie Sullenberger, landing, Nadya Suleman, Chesley Sullenberger  
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143 Comments   (+0 »)


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the_be_sharps [TotalFark] 2009-11-23 03:19:19 AM  
Judging from how cool a fish he was during the landing and in all the interviews, I'm almost awaiting the sex tape to see what "rock star sex" really is... Almost.

 
Fear_and_Loathing [TotalFark] 2009-11-23 03:31:08 AM  
Facts be told he and his copilot never made it to the end of the emergency checklist.

Then again, it was predicated on being at approx. 32,000 feet, they were at 3,200 feet.

They never got to hitting the ditch switch which would have made the aircraft float longer.

Then again most water ditchings are fatal.

He comported himself well and was the last to exit the plane.

I can still hear the clanking, the entire crew did an exceptional job!

Any perks are deserved.

Another guy with clankers and another glider pilot. (pops)!

 
acanuck [TotalFark] 2009-11-23 03:38:14 AM  
Good for you, Sully. My wife was disappointed after I made a 32 mile glide to THE NEAREST airport, not visible over a mountain range, with no electricals or engine last summer over BF Egypt, Utah.

The key to hero sex is having a shiatty life insurance policy.

 
unyon [TotalFark] 2009-11-23 03:43:29 AM  
I wouldn't have thought it physically capable for him to have sex, what with his massive balls and all.

 
the_be_sharps [TotalFark] 2009-11-23 04:10:01 AM  
That's weird, I didn't used to be the primary postigeteur....

 
Captain Swoop 2009-11-23 04:34:35 AM  
58-year old Chesley "Sully" Sullenburger says that his heroic landing surviving the near-crash of a jet in the Hudson river brought him "rock star sex" with his wife

FTFH. Usually makes appreciation more vigorous when you nearly lose someone.

/Not to take away from the awesome hero landing, tho.
//Think he deserves all the beer and boobies the passengers and their families can supply, for life.
///Pirates love slashing!

 
esteban9 2009-11-23 04:35:24 AM  
Who gives two shiats?

 
Iron Chef Scottish [recently expired TotalFark] 2009-11-23 04:35:44 AM  
Cool. So he gets ripped on cocaine & champagne, then f*cks her up the arse whilst she sucks off the lead singer.
Then he launches the TV out of the window and sh*ts on the bed before passing out in a pool of his own vomit.

 
vgt 2009-11-23 04:39:02 AM  
acanuck: Good for you, Sully. My wife was disappointed after I made a 32 mile glide to THE NEAREST airport, not visible over a mountain range, with no electricals or engine last summer over BF Egypt, Utah.



Link?

 
AliasUndercover 2009-11-23 04:47:57 AM  
He's my hero twice, then.

 
danny_kay [TotalFark] 2009-11-23 04:55:22 AM  
I think it is a sacrilege that a man like Sully is mentioned in the same article as the human clown car :-(

 
jeblis 2009-11-23 04:58:49 AM  
Hmm sudden fame... Think she's worried about competition?

 
Shadowe 2009-11-23 04:59:19 AM  
unyon: I wouldn't have thought it physically capable for him to have sex, what with his massive balls and all.

Forget brass, the man has special order titanium balls.

 
GoshAwful 2009-11-23 05:02:14 AM  
Pics of the wife will be needed before we will accept reports of 'rock star sex.'

\the royal 'we'

 
GoSurfing 2009-11-23 05:04:14 AM  
I think we must honor the man by constructing a new sex move in his namesake "The Sullenberger".

First you set up a bunch of oscillating fans in your room. You rip open a used down feather pillow.

You start having sex with your wife doggstyle on the bed (note must be a waterbed). Then just as you or her is about to climax, you throw feathers into the fans whilst screaming OH NO SHE'S GOING DOWN, shiat! Then you take your knife and pop a hole in the waterbed, flooding the shiat out of everything.

Yeah, that sounds about right.

 
yagottabefarkinkiddinme 2009-11-23 05:07:02 AM  
Rockstar sex to me would mean many women, sex, drugs and Rock & Roll.

I think he meant pornstar sex. Gliding it in any orifice he can make it in for a splashdown...telling control where he is going to put it... while she assumes positions.

She loves his cockpit maneuvers.

 
unyon [TotalFark] 2009-11-23 05:09:12 AM  
GoSurfing: I think we must honor the man by constructing a new sex move in his namesake "The Sullenberger".

First you set up a bunch of oscillating fans in your room. You rip open a used down feather pillow.

You start having sex with your wife doggstyle on the bed (note must be a waterbed). Then just as you or her is about to climax, you throw feathers into the fans whilst screaming OH NO SHE'S GOING DOWN, shiat! Then you take your knife and pop a hole in the waterbed, flooding the shiat out of everything.


Or as it's called around my place, 'Thursday'.

 
Rib 2009-11-23 05:16:06 AM  
unyon: GoSurfing: I think we must honor the man by constructing a new sex move in his namesake "The Sullenberger".

First you set up a bunch of oscillating fans in your room. You rip open a used down feather pillow.

You start having sex with your wife doggstyle on the bed (note must be a waterbed). Then just as you or her is about to climax, you throw feathers into the fans whilst screaming OH NO SHE'S GOING DOWN, shiat! Then you take your knife and pop a hole in the waterbed, flooding the shiat out of everything.

Or as it's called around my place, 'Thursday'.


Around here it's called 10pm

 
JonnyBGoode 2009-11-23 05:16:40 AM  
So ... he keeps missing the landing strip and landing in the muddy channel?

 
eas81 2009-11-23 05:21:26 AM  
www.slackers.co.za

 
Mad Scientist 2009-11-23 05:46:13 AM  
So that means she was really wet when he did her, right?

 
JonnyBGoode 2009-11-23 05:49:18 AM  
I wonder if he puts on "Take Me to the River" before going down on her...

 
Bender The Offender 2009-11-23 05:49:55 AM  
esteban9: Who gives two shiats?

The fact you took time to respond makes you a hypocritical, lying cocksucker. Perhaps you only give one bowel movement, but you care enough to take time out of your busy internet browsing schedule to grace us with your "too cool for school" attitude that stopped being cool with the Fonz.

 
Ycarus [TotalFark] 2009-11-23 05:51:45 AM  
Iron Chef Scottish: Cool. So he gets ripped on cocaine & champagne, then f*cks her up the arse whilst she sucks off the lead singer.
Then he launches the TV out of the window and sh*ts on the bed before passing out in a pool of his own vomit.


Sounds about right.

 
1olman 2009-11-23 06:01:03 AM  
I told y'all us old guys rock!

/billing several of you for new notebook-pretty sure this'n will not recover from BWAHAHAHA
//tyvm for lol tho

 
onebadgungan 2009-11-23 06:01:34 AM  
Iron Chef Scottish: Cool. So he gets ripped on cocaine & champagne, then f*cks her up the arse whilst she sucks off the lead singer.
Then he launches the TV out of the window and sh*ts on the bed before passing out in a pool of his own vomit.



I thought it meant he shot himself up with so much heroin he couldn't get a boner so she blew a roadie, vomited in the M&M bowl, and passed out with pee running down her leg.

 
tortamus 2009-11-23 06:20:52 AM  
Requesting permission to dock!
Requesting permission to dock!
Requesting permission to dock!
HOUSTON WE HAVE LIFTOFF!!!

(collapses)

 
icallhimgamblor [TotalFark] 2009-11-23 06:20:52 AM  
Would.

images.huffingtonpost.com

images.huffingtonpost.com

 
Trick E. Dick 2009-11-23 06:27:53 AM  
images.huffingtonpost.com

Is it just me or does that hand look like it should be sticking out of a grave?

/Also, sharp knees.

 
Arkanaut 2009-11-23 06:35:13 AM  
JonnyBGoode: So ... he keeps missing the landing strip and landing in the muddy channel?

+1, sir.

 
buddyrtr 2009-11-23 06:41:28 AM  
icallhimgamblor: Would.

Like a screen door in a hurricane...

 
Doctor Jan Itor 2009-11-23 06:43:26 AM  
He's having rock star pilot sex? Snorting salted peanuts off her boobs? Please return your wife to her original upright position.

 
yarnothuntin [TotalFark] 2009-11-23 06:53:06 AM  
Whatever. This guy was "too busy to pray" while he was trying to safely crash the plane. That is affront to God so, I can only assume his sex was just as Godless and therefore an abomination.

 
onebadgungan 2009-11-23 06:53:18 AM  
i357.photobucket.com

What Rockstar Sex might look like.

 
Mad Scientist 2009-11-23 07:06:48 AM  
yarnothuntin: Whatever. This guy was "too busy to pray" while he was trying to safely crash the plane. That is affront to God so, I can only assume his sex was just as Godless and therefore an abomination.

2/10.

If I had been a passenger on the plane, I'd rather he fly it and pray later.

 
Satan_Himself 2009-11-23 07:09:24 AM  
Trick E. Dick: Is it just me or does that hand look like it should be sticking out of a grave?

/Also, sharp knees.


That is a hot wife for a 58 year old.

You necessarily can't have rock star sex with your wife, though. "Wife" is singular...

 
buddyrtr 2009-11-23 07:27:48 AM  
Satan_Himself: Trick E. Dick: Is it just me or does that hand look like it should be sticking out of a grave?

/Also, sharp knees.

That is a hot wife for a 58 year old.

You necessarily can't have rock star sex with your wife, though. "Wife" is singular...


Maybe they brought in groupies?

 
yarnothuntin [TotalFark] 2009-11-23 07:30:35 AM  
Satan_Himself: You necessarily can't have rock star sex with your wife, though. "Wife" is singular...

Well, I could have rock star sex with her. Provided she's just as impressed by my mad GTA IV helicopter skills.

 
vodka 2009-11-23 07:37:24 AM  
His wife sounds like a shallow biatch

 
vicejay [TotalFark] 2009-11-23 07:38:03 AM  
This is the worst Fark thread ever.

/best ever

 
unfarkingbelievable 2009-11-23 07:43:17 AM  
so, which rock stars did Sully have sex with? I doubt he really knows what "rock star sex" is really like.

On another note, the photo of Mrs. Sully and her dog is just so adorable. It's just a sweet captured moment.

 
Bohemian 2009-11-23 07:43:54 AM  
I will take "things I don't need to hear at 6:45 in the morning for $100", Alex.

Nothing like starting your day off with that picture in your head.

 
jafiwam 2009-11-23 07:44:55 AM  
Female primates respond sexually to status; winning a fight, money, being powerful or being thought of as a "hero" by the primate society.

Fark may have helped this guy get laid by using the Hero tag on him.

/MILF or is it GILF?

 
Mad Mark 2009-11-23 07:46:10 AM  
But why did they have to interview Octucoont? I'd almost forgot about her till they brought her up. Damn media.

 
Another Government Employee 2009-11-23 07:51:46 AM  
Of course, some of the credit goes to the co pilot, who is not a bad person to wake up to...

 
animalmagnet 2009-11-23 08:06:44 AM  
Rock star sex = good for you

with my wife = you're doing it wrong

 
Dancin_In_Anson [TotalFark] 2009-11-23 08:09:24 AM  
He had it coming...

So to speak.

 
tortamus 2009-11-23 08:18:19 AM  
tortamus: Requesting permission to dock!
Requesting permission to dock!
Requesting permission to dock!
HOUSTON WE HAVE LIFTOFF!!!
(collapses)


Wow. I've been up all night and I guess I didn't realize how sleepy I was. For whatever reason I thought this was about astronauts, not pilots. So you can see, had the man in question BEEN an astronaut, my comment would have been somewhat humorous. I've made an ass out of myself, but at least I'm owing up to it.

/off to bed

 
tuckeg 2009-11-23 08:26:09 AM  
TMI

 
Sgian Dubh 2009-11-23 08:29:21 AM  
he got to roger her with a carp?

 
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