So basically what you're saying is that I need to get on my knees and and pray that my spiritual hole be filled with the body of Christ? Sounds like a Ministry song.

Is their typical prayer "Oh GOD I wish I could lose weight???"

Didn't the Catholic Church already try this? I seem to remember they got sued a few years ago because of it.

/DNRTFA

What difference does it make if it works?

My god, combining diet fads and religion in order to sell books. It's simply genius.

/tip o' the hat to those behind this inspired get rich quick scheme

Is this about taking Jesus the Lord into your mouth as a dietary supplement? That might kill your appetite. You might catch teh ghey too.

Demands a strict diet

I would expend some calories on her.

Ezekiel 4:12

That's good eatin!

People are idiots.

You don't need spirituality, you need a better understanding of physics.

Nothing new. I've seen this kind of thing all my life.

Just make sure it's not Chocolate Jesus.

Gormenghast: So basically what you're saying is that I need to get on my knees and and pray that my spiritual hole be filled with the body of Christ? Sounds like a Ministry song.

Sounds like the plot for a porno set in a seminary.

alright, subby... wine and crackers for dinner it is

anything to get rid of my baby jesus fat

obvious observation :

every time i see people getting out of church, their fat asses head right for the mexican buffet down the road.

sayin.

How does this jibe with the holiday season? Days and days of gorging on Jesus Meat and other treats makes for me gain 15 pounds in 2 weeks? Maybe I'm being punished for being a non-believer. That's gotta be it. Can't gorge on Jesus Meat if you don't believe. Jesus Meat.

Jeffrey.Rodriguez: Sounds like the plot for a porno set in a seminary semenary.

FTFY.

Sorry, Baby Jesus Meat

I blame being fat on being molested by the hamburglar.

jimmyschmidt: Sorry, Baby Jesus Meat

Is there a difference?

I wonder what Jesus would look like fat. If only there were a way to altar pictures of the anointed one...

In this religion, we obey the laws of thermodynamics!

Is it just me, or do communion wafers and rice cakes taste pretty much the same? Maybe Quaker will come out with a Jesus flavor...

There was a king who used to eat pages out of his Bible when he felt unwell. Allegedly he ate the entire book of Psalms one day and choked to death.

jesus must have had a BAC level that was through the roof

snugglyhugs: xsgoddess: Is it just me, or do communion wafers and rice cakes taste pretty much the same? Maybe Quaker will come out with a Jesus flavor...

Cannibal crackers?

/like animal cracker except for rituals of symbolic cannibalism

That would be the name of an awesome metal band.

Has been eating enough Jesus (and got some on her face...)

xsgoddess: Is it just me, or do communion wafers and rice cakes taste pretty much the same? Maybe Quaker will come out with a Jesus flavor...

I always keep little slices of cheese in my pocket, and then slip one in just before I get to the wine. Little bread, cheese, some nice wine - not a bad breakfast for Sunday morning.

SPIT, DON'T SWALLOW!!!

see, we told you...

But I did take, eat those six McDonald's Double Quarter Pounders in rememberance of Him.

xsgoddess: Is it just me, or do communion wafers and rice cakes taste pretty much the same? Maybe Quaker will come out with a Jesus flavor...

Post Hosties. The body of Christ in every bite.

AC21365: Demands a strict diet

Ramen!

Submitter: you're not eating enough Jesus

Agrees:

and lo, the children of tomorrow grew up thinking what you eat will be all you have to worry about when it comes to size and health.

snugglyhugs: I bet Jesus is spinning in his grave right now

Rotisserie Jesus is succulent.

..what the heck happened to going to the gym and eating reasonably?

I was expecting a Biblical-foods diet, which would be loads healthier than the crap people are consuming today.

This is what happens when scammy faith-based healers enter the diet & nutrition industry.

I don't mind Jesus, but I don't want him stuffing it down my throat all the time.

$10 to the first person who can convince these people that french kissing a cobra prior to praying for weight loss works best.

I guess I've been smoking the wrong brand of cigarettes.



/I smoke 'em
//So does he

ok, cannibal crackers, post hosties, and christix all had me laughing out loud. I also think next time I get suckered into going to a church, I will try the cheese advice. :)

misterlump: snugglyhugs: I bet Jesus is spinning in his grave right now

Rotisserie Jesus is succulent.

Sacri-licious!

Yes, because if any group of people is known for their svelte figures, it's American evangelicals. Yeesh.

Eh, this isn't that wacky. If one overeats due (in part) to emotional issues, overcoming them results in less consumption, and hence weight loss. Some of those people can turn to spirituality to overcome their emotional motivations for overeating, and so it will be effective for them...

Of course, as an atheist, I'd maintain that such people are diluting themselves by turning to fiction to overcome their emotional issues... but as far as weight loss is concerned, it doesn't matter how the emotional motivation for overeating is overcome... just that it is.