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(Sign On San Diego) Scary Man attacked by assailants intent on stealing loaf of bread. It's a wonder he survived   (signonsandiego.com) divider line 92
More: Scary, attackers, thefts, bread  
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92 Comments   (+0 »)


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Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener [TotalFark] 2009-11-21 07:04:11 PM  
He could have been toast.

 
Barakku [TotalFark] 2009-11-21 07:06:19 PM  
Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener: He could have been toast.

Thank you, tip your Hostess

 
RodneyToady [TotalFark] 2009-11-21 07:27:14 PM  
Jean Valjean, how far you've fallen.

 
peachpicker 2009-11-21 07:32:51 PM  
Oh, what some people will do for a marble rye...

 
Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener [TotalFark] 2009-11-21 07:50:21 PM  
Barakku: Thank you, tip your Hostess

Hah!

*tries to think of a Zinger*

... got muffin.

 
jake_lex [TotalFark] 2009-11-21 07:51:13 PM  
www.the700level.com

From surveillance video of the theft

 
Megain [recently expired TotalFark] 2009-11-21 08:04:09 PM  
the bread thieves are identified here. so i looked around, and one of them appears to have a myspace page

i call him 'dough boy'
megain.smugmug.com

 
itazurakko [TotalFark] 2009-11-21 08:28:43 PM  
Megain: i call him 'dough boy'

That oughta get a rise out of him.

 
PC LOAD LETTER [TotalFark] 2009-11-21 08:45:28 PM  
At yeast he can live to tell the tale.

 
WhoIsPraetorian [recently expired TotalFark] 2009-11-21 09:28:40 PM  
img119.imageshack.us

Inspector Javert is on the case.

 
Vinz_Clortho [TotalFark] 2009-11-21 09:54:51 PM  
Was it a marble-rye?

 
Gyrfalcon 2009-11-21 09:56:59 PM  
What a bunch of crumbs. Probably beat the stuffing out of him. Nothing worse than jack-rolls. Hope they get jammed up and fried crispy.

 
Earl of Chives 2009-11-21 09:58:00 PM  
Let them eat cake.

www.joketribe.com

 
Indolent [TotalFark] 2009-11-21 09:58:47 PM  
That's just how they roll.

 
log_jammin [TotalFark] 2009-11-21 10:00:08 PM  
They were just sowing their wild oats.

 
MayoSlather 2009-11-21 10:00:35 PM  
I don't think there is a grain of truth to this story.

 
CaesarSneezy 2009-11-21 10:00:46 PM  
So instead of stealing it from the store they took it from a customer walking home? I guess they were looking for a roamin' meal.

 
Aardvark Inc. 2009-11-21 10:01:41 PM  
The good, the bad & the buttery.

 
haddie 2009-11-21 10:01:45 PM  
It was the yeast the cops could do to arrest them.
Should've kiln 'em.

 
Somacandra [TotalFark] 2009-11-21 10:02:08 PM  
upload.wikimedia.org

"Dear Prisoner #24601...."

/Les Miserables thread!!!!

 
simpsonfan 2009-11-21 10:02:19 PM  
I wonder if they'll eat the bread with cheese....

 
geekbikerskum 2009-11-21 10:02:45 PM  
came here for the Les Miserables references, leaving satisfied.

 
Hector Remarkable 2009-11-21 10:06:39 PM  
Normally, I might see this as a sign that society is sinking to the lower depths, and that humanity has fallen so low that there's no hope left, but hey, he had two loaves.

 
mrEdude 2009-11-21 10:08:36 PM  
I think this is what happened: their gang leader, back at the clubhouse, told them that in order to get more cocaine they would need more bread- and told them to go mug somebody to get it.

 
SapperInTexas 2009-11-21 10:08:46 PM  
No matter how you slice it, he is indeed lucky to be alive.

 
ukparrothead 2009-11-21 10:10:20 PM  
Showed up for a Marble Rye reference, glad I wasn't disappointed.

 
texastag 2009-11-21 10:13:25 PM  
Even though he was unable to fight them off he's still his mother's pride.

If it's too obscure for you...

Click here

/Blimey!

 
OnmyojiOmn 2009-11-21 10:15:06 PM  
www.nautiljon.com

Not at all impressed.

 
dead_dangler 2009-11-21 10:15:15 PM  
At yeast he wasn't killed.

 
Links 2009-11-21 10:16:10 PM  
"Teach me to fish or I'll shoot!" would've been a much more sustainable crime.

 
The All-Powerful Atheismo 2009-11-21 10:16:31 PM  
Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener: Barakku: Thank you, tip your Hostess

Hah!

*tries to think of a Zinger*

... got muffin.


HEY! I was gonna use that one. But I'm just a stupid liter who gets sour. d'oh.

 
The New FARK Layout 2009-11-21 10:17:00 PM  
Jovial blue genie sought by police for questioning.

 
Farker T 2009-11-21 10:17:22 PM  
What a pickle. Mustard been horrifying. He mayo been killed. Lucky they didn't jam him with that shovel, creaming his peanuts. Lettuce all learn a lesson from this. Butter be careful.

Was it white bread? Punpernickel?

Then again, it could all be a pack of ryes.
Fed up with puns? Knead a break?

Click here. (new window)

(NSFW - especially if you work at a bakery)

 
ScottMpls 2009-11-21 10:20:53 PM  
Just a slice of life ...

 
fusillade762 2009-11-21 10:23:06 PM  
doctorbeatnik.files.wordpress.com

I'm sorry, this thread is already too silly. Far too silly.

 
UncleStumpy 2009-11-21 10:23:31 PM  
Came for the Les Mis reference, leaving satisfied.



I want toast

 
Branch Dravidian [TotalFark] 2009-11-21 10:34:14 PM  
Eighteen in the bag
And two on the slots
Marble rye toaster
Is callin' the shots

 
illicit 2009-11-21 10:34:38 PM  
www.ukstudentlife.com

Wanted for questioning.

 
Pro Zack 2009-11-21 10:40:36 PM  
So much for loafing around.

 
kinshane [TotalFark] 2009-11-21 10:42:08 PM  
4.bp.blogspot.com

Will get to the bottom of it.

/DNRTFA

 
cedarpark 2009-11-21 10:42:51 PM  
It's the Rye or the Kaiser
It's thrill of one bite
Let me please be your catering advisor.
If you want substitutions,
I won't put up a fight
You can have your roast beef on the rye or the kaiser.

 
illicit 2009-11-21 10:44:04 PM  
Surely such an offense will land them in PITA prison, where their buns will be kneaded lovingly.

 
The All-Powerful Atheismo 2009-11-21 10:44:30 PM  
kinshane: Will get to the bottom of it.

/DNRTFA


The bottom of the river maybe.



Spoiler alert.

 
Pro Zack 2009-11-21 10:46:14 PM  
millingtonnews.net

 
bugmn99 2009-11-21 10:46:56 PM  
Guess he'll need to ciabatta lawyer

 
Vash's Apprentice 2009-11-21 10:49:29 PM  
snugglyhugs: Your crusty old half baked puns are the lowest form of humor, they are falling flat

Agreed, we don't knead this kind of humor.

 
SapperInTexas 2009-11-21 10:51:18 PM  
cedarpark: It's the Rye or the Kaiser
It's thrill of one bite
Let me please be your catering advisor.
If you want substitutions,
I won't put up a fight
You can have your roast beef on the rye or the kaiser.


Way to rise to the occasion.

 
Pro Zack 2009-11-21 10:53:12 PM  
snugglyhugs: Vash's Apprentice: snugglyhugs: Your crusty old half baked puns are the lowest form of humor, they are falling flat

Agreed, we don't knead this kind of humor.

It's a crumby thread


it's time to leaven the playing field.

 
Thats an 827 2009-11-21 10:55:40 PM  
Gruppo Bimbo in El Paso, y'all. Mrs Bairds in Dallas. M'kay?
Capisce?

 
finaboy 2009-11-21 10:56:18 PM  
Wanted for questioning:

dkpresents.files.wordpress.com

 
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