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(Nikki Finke) Stupid "Twilight: New Moon" breaks the all-time box office opening day record. In other news, what the hell is wrong with people?   (deadline.com) divider line 174
More: Stupid, box office, Taylor Lautner, Twilight Saga, Robert Pattinson, Sandra Bullock, Tyler Perry, Roland Emmerich, The Fourth Kind  
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174 Comments   (+0 »)


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boonfarker 2009-11-21 12:32:52 PM  
www.jacklail.com

Approves.

 
Pixelvision 2009-11-21 12:35:25 PM  
BAWWWW people like something I don't like!

 
soupbone [TotalFark] 2009-11-21 12:36:59 PM  
tomgpalmer.com

 
jevman [TotalFark] 2009-11-21 12:37:01 PM  
Never underestimate the spending power of teenage girls.

 
KingPsyz 2009-11-21 12:40:29 PM  
jevman: Never underestimate the spending power of teenage girls.

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand THIS


This is exactly the point, pimp softcore mormon porn to the young girls and their hormones and their parents money will buy whatever you're selling along with it.

 
Jakevol2 2009-11-21 12:40:46 PM  
I want to kill myself.

 
jayhawk88 2009-11-21 12:42:11 PM  
OK, so I've never read a Twilight book or seen a movie, and probably never will, but what's up with geek culture looking down on Twilight-heads, or whatever they call themselves?

I guess I expect this from main stream media, but from geeks? Come on. If you own more than two pieces of Star Trek memorabilia, if you can name more than 6 fighter craft from the Star Wars universe, or if you can summarize the major consequences of the Fatal Attractions crossover, you just need to shut the hell up about Twilight. People in glass houses throwing stones and all that.

 
RminusQ [TotalFark] 2009-11-21 12:42:40 PM  
Wow, I'm actually kind of surprised. I was subbing yesterday and had cafeteria duty for 8 hours. I don't think I heard screaming teenage girls go "TWIIIIIILIIIIIIIIIIGHT! EDWARD 4EVA!" a single time.

 
DarthBrooks [TotalFark] 2009-11-21 12:43:01 PM  
We live in the same world where this man:

www.tvgasm.com

has a TV show, and yet this show

www.theage.com.au

got canceled.

 
Jakevol2 2009-11-21 12:44:15 PM  
DarthBrooks: We live in the same world where this man:



has a TV show, and yet this show



got canceled.


Actually Mind of Mencia got cancelled, too.

But I get what you are saying.

 
Jonathan Hohensee 2009-11-21 12:44:24 PM  
Pixelvision: BAWWWW people like something I don't like!

What is it about the tastes of teenage girls that always make people react so angrily?

 
Barakku [TotalFark] 2009-11-21 12:45:32 PM  
Didn't the first one only come out this year? If it's that easy to vomit out this crap, this must be the "reality TV" of film

 
RminusQ [TotalFark] 2009-11-21 12:46:24 PM  
jayhawk88: I guess I expect this from main stream media, but from geeks? Come on. If you own more than two pieces of Star Trek memorabilia, if you can name more than 6 fighter craft from the Star Wars universe, or if you can summarize the major consequences of the Fatal Attractions crossover, you just need to shut the hell up about Twilight. People in glass houses throwing stones and all that.

I think it's based off the stories of Twilight fans wishing or causing physical harm (up to and including throwing acid on someone) for expressing their dislike of the books. Granted, these are just stories.

Also, fifteen-year-old girls are annoying to begin with.

 
DarthBrooks [TotalFark] 2009-11-21 12:46:47 PM  
Jakevol2: Actually Mind of Mencia got cancelled, too.

But I get what you are saying.


It's also the same planet where someone continues to greenlight Will Ferrell movies.

cdn.sheknows.com

Jesus God Awmighty.

 
Clarence Potter 2009-11-21 12:48:53 PM  
Jakevol2: I want to kill myself.

Me too. We should hang out.

 
Clock Spider Jerusalem 2009-11-21 12:49:57 PM  
jayhawk88: OK, so I've never read a Twilight book or seen a movie, and probably never will, but what's up with geek culture looking down on Twilight-heads, or whatever they call themselves?

I guess I expect this from main stream media, but from geeks? Come on. If you own more than two pieces of Star Trek memorabilia, if you can name more than 6 fighter craft from the Star Wars universe, or if you can summarize the major consequences of the Fatal Attractions crossover, you just need to shut the hell up about Twilight. People in glass houses throwing stones and all that.


Since I can't do any of those things and don't own any crap like that, will you then allow me to say the whole thing is farking retarded insipid mass marketed brain pablum of no redeeming value whatsoever? It's on the level of the romance novels so beloved by fat lonely middle aged women.

 
ramen_for_all [TotalFark] 2009-11-21 12:50:51 PM  
Jonathan Hohensee:What is it about the tastes of teenage girls that always make people react so angrily?


I had to reread that 3 times because i kept seeing "...the taste of teenage girls makes people react hungrily"

 
brap [TotalFark] 2009-11-21 12:51:07 PM  
What's wrong with PEOPLE?
What's wrong with YOU subby?
WE gotta song to sing!

i253.photobucket.com

We wanna live for evah!
We wanna learn how to fly! HIGH!
Baby remember our name...Remembah forevah, remembah forevah...
FA....AIEEEEEEEEEE!

i253.photobucket.com

Why, Leroy, WHY?!?!?!

 
Errk [TotalFark] 2009-11-21 12:51:21 PM  
You just gotta find the right product (vampire romance stories) for the right niche (horny teenaged girls) and you'll make millions.

 
Shrugging Atlas 2009-11-21 12:53:10 PM  
Jonathan Hohensee: What is it about the tastes of teenage girls that always make people react so angrily?

Speak for yourself. I think they're all savory and delicious.

 
KingPsyz 2009-11-21 12:54:09 PM  
Errk: You just gotta find the right product (vampire romance stories) for the right niche (horny teenaged girls) and you'll make millions.
http://www.toplessrobot.com/2009/08/battle_of_the_insanely_awful_Link (new window)
see: SO NSFW

 
KingPsyz 2009-11-21 12:55:24 PM  
HTMfaiL

Link (new window)

It's NSFW unless you work in a dildo factory, then it's market research

 
trifoldhat 2009-11-21 12:55:43 PM  
It might also have to do with the lack of entertaining movies lately. I have only been to the theater twice this year. The last few DVD's I bought was from older movies that just got converted to the format.

 
FirstNationalBastard 2009-11-21 12:58:37 PM  
RminusQ: j
I think it's based off the stories of Twilight fans wishing or causing physical harm (up to and including throwing acid on someone) for expressing their dislike of the books. Granted, these are just stories.



Damn. What freaks.

You never see Trekkies decapitate someone with a bat'leth for preferring Star Wars.

Conversely, no Star Wars fan has ever shoved a lightsaber replica up a Trekkie's ass in a violent manner. (For pleasure, perhaps. But it didn't make the news.)

 
MorrisBird [TotalFark] 2009-11-21 12:58:39 PM  
trifoldhat: It might also have to do with the lack of entertaining movies lately. I have only been to the theater twice this year. The last few DVD's I bought was from older movies that just got converted to the format.

Exactly, the only movies I saw at the theater this year were Coraline and Up. My Netflix queue is empty. All the entertainment that sucks is the order of the day.

 
bluorangefyre 2009-11-21 01:04:14 PM  
Shameless self-promotion, but I don't feel like typing this again:

http://bluorangefyre.blogspot.com/2009/11/what-happened-to-vampires.html (new window)

 
Kuroshin [TotalFark] 2009-11-21 01:05:01 PM  
Given the ever-increasing ticket price, won't box office numbers automatically creep up to "record sales" every so often, assuming a consistent flow of patrons?

Record-breaking box office receipts doesn't mean anything. It's a nonsense metric. If ticket prices were $10 back when ET was released, and the movie going population were of the same size, would Twilight still have beat the box office returns?

/Yeah yeah, there isn't any point to this post
//Just something that always bothered me

 
SharkTrager 2009-11-21 01:06:30 PM  
Jonathan Hohensee: Pixelvision: BAWWWW people like something I don't like!

What is it about the tastes of teenage girls that always make people react so angrily?


It's not the teenage girls who annoy me. They're kids and don't know any better. But the grown women going on and on about the films and books as if they are brilliant? That has gotten very old. And, to be blunt, this film did not break the record because of kids.

 
cryinoutloud [TotalFark] 2009-11-21 01:09:39 PM  
This one is about werewolves, not sparkly vampires. And what teenage gal doesn't dream of being ravaged by a big hairy guy who overpowers her and reeks of animal lust? One who changes into Prince Charming when it's time to go out in public?

With me, it was horses, but these modern girls--who knows what slutty things they imagine?

 
The_Sponge [TotalFark] 2009-11-21 01:09:44 PM  
FirstNationalBastard: Damn. What freaks.

You never see Trekkies decapitate someone with a bat'leth for preferring Star Wars.

Conversely, no Star Wars fan has ever shoved a lightsaber replica up a Trekkie's ass in a violent manner. (For pleasure, perhaps. But it didn't make the news.)



I once ran over some dude with my Ferrari just because he was talking trash about "Miami Vice".

 
Calypsocookie 2009-11-21 01:14:37 PM  
SharkTrager: Jonathan Hohensee: Pixelvision: BAWWWW people like something I don't like!

What is it about the tastes of teenage girls that always make people react so angrily?

It's not the teenage girls who annoy me. They're kids and don't know any better. But the grown women going on and on about the films and books as if they are brilliant? That has gotten very old. And, to be blunt, this film did not break the record because of kids.


I'm 27. Went with a gf Thursday night at 12:30 to New Moon. We decided to go that late to try and avoid the tween madness, there was no avoiding it. But just to let you know, no I did not think this series was "brilliant". It was a fun read and pure escapism. I'd like to know what you do to relax so I can make fun of that also.

/O nvm, I don't care.

 
SharkTrager 2009-11-21 01:14:49 PM  
Kuroshin: Given the ever-increasing ticket price, won't box office numbers automatically creep up to "record sales" every so often, assuming a consistent flow of patrons?

Record-breaking box office receipts doesn't mean anything. It's a nonsense metric. If ticket prices were $10 back when ET was released, and the movie going population were of the same size, would Twilight still have beat the box office returns?

/Yeah yeah, there isn't any point to this post
//Just something that always bothered me


1) There are inflation adjusted charts (new window). They do show that some of the massive numbers aren't quite as impressive as one would think.

but

2) The farking thing made $72 million in it's first day. Even inflation adjusted that would probably be number one or damn close. It certainly beats the hell out of ET at just over $3million. Most of the top inflation adjusted films didn't have the built in audience of New Moon needed for that kind of opening. The one obvious exception would be Gone With the Wind, which did have a massive amount of pre-release hype.

 
SilentStrider [TotalFark] 2009-11-21 01:15:41 PM  
in other other news, people whining about twlight are still more annoying than twilight.

 
UNC_Samurai [TotalFark] 2009-11-21 01:16:23 PM  
jayhawk88: OK, so I've never read a Twilight book or seen a movie, and probably never will, but what's up with geek culture looking down on Twilight-heads, or whatever they call themselves?

I guess I expect this from main stream media, but from geeks? Come on. If you own more than two pieces of Star Trek memorabilia, if you can name more than 6 fighter craft from the Star Wars universe, or if you can summarize the major consequences of the Fatal Attractions crossover, you just need to shut the hell up about Twilight. People in glass houses throwing stones and all that.


Enterprise and Phantom Menace at least weren't thinly veiled Mormon fanfiction.

 
FirstNationalBastard 2009-11-21 01:17:50 PM  
The_Sponge: FirstNationalBastard: Damn. What freaks.

You never see Trekkies decapitate someone with a bat'leth for preferring Star Wars.

Conversely, no Star Wars fan has ever shoved a lightsaber replica up a Trekkie's ass in a violent manner. (For pleasure, perhaps. But it didn't make the news.)


I once ran over some dude with my Ferrari just because he was talking trash about "Miami Vice".


Well that's understandable, but only if he also made fun of your pastel suit and two days worth of stubble.

 
SharkTrager 2009-11-21 01:19:50 PM  
Calypsocookie: SharkTrager: Jonathan Hohensee: Pixelvision: BAWWWW people like something I don't like!

What is it about the tastes of teenage girls that always make people react so angrily?

It's not the teenage girls who annoy me. They're kids and don't know any better. But the grown women going on and on about the films and books as if they are brilliant? That has gotten very old. And, to be blunt, this film did not break the record because of kids.

I'm 27. Went with a gf Thursday night at 12:30 to New Moon. We decided to go that late to try and avoid the tween madness, there was no avoiding it. But just to let you know, no I did not think this series was "brilliant". It was a fun read and pure escapism. I'd like to know what you do to relax so I can make fun of that also.

/O nvm, I don't care.


So, because you haven't spent the last 2 weeks talking virtually non-stop about this movie, then people don't have the right to be annoyed by the thousands of people who have been? Those people are definitely out there and that is the kind of fan who makes much of the rest of the world feel like they hate something they've never seen.

Do you have any idea how many people I know who have been fighting the urge to tell the fanatics to just STFU about Twilight and stop assuming everyone gives a shiat?

 
beoswulf [recently expired TotalFark] 2009-11-21 01:19:51 PM  
SharkTrager: Kuroshin: Given the ever-increasing ticket price, won't box office numbers automatically creep up to "record sales" every so often, assuming a consistent flow of patrons?

Record-breaking box office receipts doesn't mean anything. It's a nonsense metric. If ticket prices were $10 back when ET was released, and the movie going population were of the same size, would Twilight still have beat the box office returns?

/Yeah yeah, there isn't any point to this post
//Just something that always bothered me

1) There are inflation adjusted charts (new window). They do show that some of the massive numbers aren't quite as impressive as one would think.

but

2) The farking thing made $72 million in it's first day. Even inflation adjusted that would probably be number one or damn close. It certainly beats the hell out of ET at just over $3million. Most of the top inflation adjusted films didn't have the built in audience of New Moon needed for that kind of opening. The one obvious exception would be Gone With the Wind, which did have a massive amount of pre-release hype.


The difference between ET and Twilight is the rise of the multiplex that even adjusting for inflation can't account for.

Nowadays a movie like Twilight can be shown on 2 or more screens at the same theater. When ET came out plenty of theaters only had 2 screens max, and they weren't those massive, stadium style seating auditoriums that are common today. This decade it has simply been easier to cram massive amounts of ticket sales onto the opening night.

 
TimeWaste 2009-11-21 01:21:03 PM  
I'm going to punch the first teenage girl I see in the ovaries.

 
Cubs300 2009-11-21 01:22:52 PM  
All I know is that my wife saw it last night, came home, and promptly mounted me for half an hour. They can make more of those movies if they wish.

 
FirstNationalBastard 2009-11-21 01:23:42 PM  
It isn't necessarily all about box office receipts...

Will people still be talking about the Twilight movies in 10 years? 20 years? 50 years?

ET is nearly 30, Back To The Future nearly 25, Star Wars over 30, Gone With The Wind and Wizard of Oz both 70, and Citizen Kane (which was a box office failure) is almost 70.

Will Twilight be mentioned in the same breath as those movies a few years down the road?

/probably not. I hope.

 
FirstNationalBastard 2009-11-21 01:24:21 PM  
TimeWaste: I'm going to punch the first teenage girl I see in the ovaries.

...with your cock?

If so, I don't think that's legal unless she's over 18 in most states.

 
Sgt Otter [TotalFark] 2009-11-21 01:24:36 PM  
Jonathan Hohensee: Pixelvision: BAWWWW people like something I don't like!

What is it about the tastes of teenage girls that always make people react so angrily?


One of the things that personally pissed me off was that the Twiilght girls have actually ruined several "Famous Quotations" and literary websites I used to reguarly use as a resource.

They have put every. farking. line. in. the. books are GREATEST LITERALY QUOTES EVARRR!!! and upvoted the shiat out of them.

So now I have to sort through five pages of:

Edward got up and scratched his sparkly balls. FIVE STARS!!!
Edward took a a dump. FIVE STARS!!!
Bella picked up the phone. FIVE STARS!!!!

To find a Winston Churchill quote.

Trying to find a thesis on Joseph Heller means I now have to scroll through 800 "literary analysis" submissions of Twilight that consist entirely of "ZOMG, BEST BOOK EVAR. SUCK IT HATERS!!! ALL TWILIGHT FANS PLEAZE UPVOTE!!!!!"

 
gopher321 [TotalFark] 2009-11-21 01:26:53 PM  
C'mon, geeks get their summer blockbusters all the time - let the teenyboppers have their own porn now and again for gods sake. The fun part will be years from now you can tease them with this shiat they so enjoy this day and age.

 
toddalmighty [TotalFark] 2009-11-21 01:27:28 PM  
Soupbone

Holy shiat I have one of those, personally signed by the man himself.

 
Cake Hunter [TotalFark] 2009-11-21 01:29:32 PM  
TimeWaste: I'm going to punch the first teenage girl I see in the ovaries.

why would a teenage girl be hanging out in the ovaries?

 
soupbone [TotalFark] 2009-11-21 01:38:52 PM  
Sgt Otter: Jonathan Hohensee: Pixelvision: BAWWWW people like something I don't like!

What is it about the tastes of teenage girls that always make people react so angrily?

One of the things that personally pissed me off was that the Twiilght girls have actually ruined several "Famous Quotations" and literary websites I used to reguarly use as a resource.

They have put every. farking. line. in. the. books are GREATEST LITERALY QUOTES EVARRR!!! and upvoted the shiat out of them.

So now I have to sort through five pages of:

Edward got up and scratched his sparkly balls. FIVE STARS!!!
Edward took a a dump. FIVE STARS!!!
Bella picked up the phone. FIVE STARS!!!!

To find a Winston Churchill quote.

Trying to find a thesis on Joseph Heller means I now have to scroll through 800 "literary analysis" submissions of Twilight that consist entirely of "ZOMG, BEST BOOK EVAR. SUCK IT HATERS!!! ALL TWILIGHT FANS PLEAZE UPVOTE!!!!!"


Links so I can laugh and be disgusted at the same time...and people wonder why this country is doomed.

 
stickintehmud 2009-11-21 01:39:02 PM  
cryinoutloud: This one is about werewolves, not sparkly vampires. And what teenage gal doesn't dream of being ravaged by a big hairy guy who overpowers her and reeks of animal lust? One who changes into Prince Charming when it's time to go out in public?

With me, it was horses, but these modern girls--who knows what slutty things they imagine?


You had a bestiality fantasy as a teenager?

 
ChuckC 2009-11-21 01:41:03 PM  
As each new one comes out, this gets truer and truer:

www.noahvslarry.com

 
Killer Cars [TotalFark] 2009-11-21 01:49:58 PM  
Last year when embarking on some hiking in Olympic Nat'l Park, we stopped in Forks, WA to grab a bite to eat. Someone actually asked us if we were Twilight fanboy tourists.

I'm not sure I have ever been more insulted in my life.

 
Peruvian Silver Mine 2009-11-21 01:54:52 PM  
saw the first one and it sucked balls. probably gonna see the second one (girlfriend will force). will likely cut myself after.

never seen worse acting in my life.

 
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