Nothing.

Can we have voting enabled?

I roll 20s when it comes to Pregnancy and STD checks.

I'M BULLET PROOF biatchES.

That I am really quite fortunate.

That I shouldn't have treated charisma as a dump stat.

Tordek is in it for the biatches.

I wouldn't know. I have no desire to play that game.

I put on my robe and wizard hat...

biscuits1978: I wouldn't know. I have no desire to play that game.

Aw, you'll find someone.

DeadZone: I put on my robe and wizard hat...

Came for this, leaving satisfied...

Back in middle school, we made fun of the kids playing D&D because it was "gay". I never played D&D.

20 years later, I'm the guy who has sex with other men.

Go figure.

Notable loot:

-3 penis
1d6(-3) bludgeoning damage
Activate: 1d2 ranged acid damage. Can be activated three times per day.

That wandering monsters exist.

What is this "dating" you speak of?

Nightblade: Roll the dice to see if I'm getting drunk!

Graham: Ugh. Yeah you are.

Nightblade: Are there any girls there?

Graham: Yeah!

Picard: I did though; I completely said when you asked me...

Graham: No you didn't. You didn't actually say that you were casting the spell so now there's ogres. Ok?

Nightblade: OGRES!?! Man, I got an ogre slaying knife! It's got a +9 against ogres!

Graham: You're not there, you're getting DRUNK!

Nightblade: Ok, but if there's any girls there I wanna do them!

It taught me how to survive the long droughts between girlfriends, especially that one between age 8 and 14.

Warn your parents that Charisma is your girlfriend's dump stat.

I never thought about it that way before. She wasn't a player. She wouldn't get the joke. She wouldn't like the joke.

vernonFL: Back in middle school, we made fun of the kids playing D&D because it was "gay". I never played D&D.

20 years later, I'm the guy who has sex with other men.

Go figure.

Clearly, their gayness rubbed off on you.

I don't understand what an old Tom Hanks movie could teach me about dating.

that females dont go for the sunless vampire look in real life

Kumana Wanalaia: Nightblade: Roll the dice to see if I'm getting drunk!

Graham: Ugh. Yeah you are.

Nightblade: Are there any girls there?

Graham: Yeah!

Picard: I did though; I completely said when you asked me...

Graham: No you didn't. You didn't actually say that you were casting the spell so now there's ogres. Ok?

Nightblade: OGRES!?! Man, I got an ogre slaying knife! It's got a +9 against ogres!

Graham: You're not there, you're getting DRUNK!

Nightblade: Ok, but if there's any girls there I wanna do them!

Nothing is obscure on fark. That is brilliant though.

anyone want to copy paste? Link is blocked by the evil IT people.

Treat every date as an encounter with an NPC.

That the very cute guy you flirt with in-game doesn't get the hint.

That what may seem endearing at the table is just a PITA away from it.

That nerds are a bunch of creative perverts (priest Commands the Ogre Magi to "masturbate", which is quite the effective tactical move).

Treat every date as an encounter with an NPC.

Hi, my name is ZAZ and you're ... (rolls dice) ... aroused to meet me.

Hey, the dice don't lie. Role play accordingly.

That nerds are a bunch of creative perverts (priest Commands the Ogre Magi to "masturbate", which is quite the effective tactical move).

In college somebody in the group decided that the optimal command was "fellate." I don't remember if he used it in game.

It pays to bribe the DM in advance.

That's how I roll.

genner: That I shouldn't have treated charisma as a dump stat.

I came here to make a dump stat joke, but now I will just have to say something about making dexterity the highest stat.

biatches are Witches, or vice versa.

/Yeah, I know (old D&D fart)

Telephone Sanitizer Second Class: Treat every date as an encounter with an NPC.

Kill and loot them?

That guys who try to hit on you by having their flamboyant bard character make several obvious plays for your half-elven multiclassed fighter/rogue are probably douches outside of the gaming table?

NPCs?

Little gore-filled bags of XPs.

CaesarSneezy: biscuits1978: I wouldn't know. I have no desire to play that game.

Aw, you'll find someone.

Some people really have no intrest.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Asexuality

Though alot of Aesexual people still want relationships, just have no intrest in sex.

Hey, my character has a thrusting weapon, wanna see?

give me doughnuts: NPCs?

Little gore XP-filled bags of XPs gore.

I'm a glass half bloody kind of guy.

Also it taught me to GO FOR THE EYES, BOO. GO FOR THE EYES!

SakuraDensetsu: CaesarSneezy: biscuits1978: I wouldn't know. I have no desire to play that game.

Aw, you'll find someone.

Some people really have no intrest.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Asexuality

Though alot of Aesexual people still want relationships, just have no intrest in sex.

Maybe they should get a pet.

Dungeons and Dragons has taught me that true love can be found in a game, that romance is not just a roll of a twelve-sided die, and that even cyb0rsex on World of Warcraft can be a deeply intimate act.

Whether it is the inevitable foreshortening of ridiculously long Elven names that comes with close familiarity, the six-hour plus long hot tub sessions in a MUD that last into the wee hours of the morning, or the precise deployment of just the right combination of adverbs and adjectives in a character emote, Dungeons and Dragons has taught me, more than anything else, that two adult men can experience the heights of seduction in a totally straight, non-gay way.

mooseyfate: give me doughnuts: NPCs?

Little gore XP-filled bags of XPs gore.

I'm a glass half bloody kind of guy.

Ya get the gore, ya get the XPs. It's a win/win situation.

Whiskey adds +5 to your save vs cumming.

Always make your Sense Motive rolls.

GF: "Does this dress make me look fat?"
-Die Roll: Succeeds- 'Compliment me now'
Player: "Not at all, in fact didn't you loose '3d4' pounds"

Since I met the woman I eventually married at a D&D game, I'd have to say I learned a fair amount from it. Even managed to steal her from the DM...

MBK: I roll 20s when it comes to Pregnancy and STD checks.

I'M BULLET PROOF biatchES.

Well....socks can't procreate.

Jimmy Devil Rocket Science: Dungeons and Dragons has taught me that true love can be found in a game, that romance is not just a roll of a twelve-sided die, and that even cyb0rsex on World of Warcraft can be a deeply intimate act.

Whether it is the inevitable foreshortening of ridiculously long Elven names that comes with close familiarity, the six-hour plus long hot tub sessions in a MUD that last into the wee hours of the morning, or the precise deployment of just the right combination of adverbs and adjectives in a character emote, Dungeons and Dragons has taught me, more than anything else, that two adult men can experience the heights of seduction in a totally straight, non-gay way.

So true, dude. I- wait, what the hell?

*That a happy woman is one whose highest stat is her dex.
*That a successful man with the ladies is one whose highest stat is his stamina.

Nothing worthwhile! I have been playing D&D since 1981. That is over 70% of my life! And I have not yet been able to cast a single farkin' spell in all those years! Not a one! And while I have never had any problems in the realm of dating, I will admit that being able to cast spells would have enabled be date a few people who said "No!" (via a Charm Person spell) or end fights a bit quicker (via a Forget spell!)!!

And, before anyone suggest reading the Harry Potter book, I have. All of them. And I still am not able to cast spells! Am I doing something wrong? Or am I just a hopeless muggle?

morgantx: *That a happy woman is one whose highest stat is her dex.
*That a successful man with the ladies is one whose highest stat is his stamina.

Stamina? WTF kind of D&D are you playing?

numb3r5ev3n: Also it taught me to GO FOR THE EYES, BOO. GO FOR THE EYES!

Butt Kicking for Goodness!

Mock26: Nothing worthwhile! I have been playing D&D since 1981. That is over 70% of my life! And I have not yet been able to cast a single farkin' spell in all those years! Not a one! And while I have never had any problems in the realm of dating, I will admit that being able to cast spells would have enabled be date a few people who said "No!" (via a Charm Person spell) or end fights a bit quicker (via a Forget spell!)!!

And, before anyone suggest reading the Harry Potter book, I have. All of them. And I still am not able to cast spells! Am I doing something wrong? Or am I just a hopeless muggle?

You must KILL ELFSTAR.

CaesarSneezy: morgantx: *That a happy woman is one whose highest stat is her dex.
*That a successful man with the ladies is one whose highest stat is his stamina.

Stamina? WTF kind of D&D are you playing?

Isn't Stamina a White Wolf/WoD stat?