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(St. Petersburg Times) Fail When the police knock on your door, it's best not to answer it while covered in bank dye and holding a big bag of crack   (tampabay.com) divider line 51
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51 Comments   (+0 »)


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BKITU [TotalFark] 2009-11-20 02:07:03 PM  
Headline notwithstanding, It is unknown whether Castro was covered in red dye at the time of his arrest.

That sentence is full of win.

 
I Said [TotalFark] 2009-11-20 03:10:37 PM  
I bet the police disagree with your advice, submitter.

 
gambitsgirl [TotalFark] 2009-11-20 04:12:46 PM  
Cause people who rob banks are so clever

 
beerrun [TotalFark] 2009-11-20 04:12:58 PM  
Thanks subby, I'll make a note of that.

 
Treygreen13 2009-11-20 04:13:24 PM  
BKITU: Headline notwithstanding, It is unknown whether Castro was covered in red dye at the time of his arrest.

That sentence is full of win.


It also negates the headline.

 
sonofslacker 2009-11-20 04:14:11 PM  
Was the crack too much? Should I have only gone with the bank dye?

 
Gordian Cipher 2009-11-20 04:15:23 PM  
Came in here to make a "caught red-handed!" pun, saw that the actual article headline already did that, leaving somewhat satisfied.

 
FlippityFlap 2009-11-20 04:15:48 PM  
What kind of world do we live in where a man can't..

 
Hector Remarkable 2009-11-20 04:16:17 PM  
Don't tell me where and when I can and can't hold my crack.

 
gambitsgirl [TotalFark] 2009-11-20 04:17:53 PM  
gorgor: APPROVES
http://tinyurl.com/yhyau89
(copy and paste, NSFW)



red? crack? not if it were the last link on earth

 
mynameismark 2009-11-20 04:19:44 PM  
The internets have brought me so much joy, and stupid criminals is the 2nd best example of that.

/I lol'd

 
Coco LaFemme [TotalFark] 2009-11-20 04:19:56 PM  
His arrest record is 16 pages long? At what point do you say to someone like this "I'm sorry, you're too stupid to live outside a cage" and then just lock 'em up for life? This person clearly has a difficult time understanding what laws are.

 
scseth 2009-11-20 04:20:07 PM  
When do the Fail tag and the Florida tag become synonymous?

 
traylor 2009-11-20 04:20:54 PM  
www2.tbo.com
(click pops)

 
earl_k [TotalFark] 2009-11-20 04:21:15 PM  
Submitter www.dirkbronze.coms at use of the www.dirkbronze.com tag. . .

 
rmz [TotalFark] 2009-11-20 04:22:10 PM  
What about a big bag of money with a dollar sign on it? Is that still OK?

 
The Angry Hand of God 2009-11-20 04:22:38 PM  
scseth: When do the Fail tag and the Florida tag become synonymous?

Well you can't spell Florida without "fail" so the Florida tag covers both.

 
bstud 2009-11-20 04:23:38 PM  
scseth: When do the Fail tag and the Florida tag become synonymous?

nevar the Florida tag should always trump the fail tag

 
traylor 2009-11-20 04:25:19 PM  
And surprisingly, here's (^) another exploding dye pack story from yesterday.

*confused*

 
Coco LaFemme [TotalFark] 2009-11-20 04:25:29 PM  
When you see a Florida tag, assume the Fail tag is there as well.

 
tuna fingers [TotalFark] 2009-11-20 04:26:16 PM  
When they knock on your front door
How you gonna come
With your hands in the air
Or covered in bank dye and holding a bag of crack.

 
Ashrams 2009-11-20 04:26:42 PM  
Reminds me of a recent joke I saw.
www.motifake.com

 
BKITU [TotalFark] 2009-11-20 04:26:52 PM  
Treygreen13: BKITU: Headline notwithstanding, It is unknown whether Castro was covered in red dye at the time of his arrest.

That sentence is full of win.

It also negates the headline.


Which is why I prefaced it with "Headline notwithstanding," you see.

 
opiumpoopy 2009-11-20 04:27:17 PM  
sonofslacker: Was the crack too much? Should I have only gone with the bank dye?

No, going with both was fine. Dude chose the wrong bus. I always use this one when I need to move fast

ecx.images-amazon.com

 
ULTRON 5 2009-11-20 04:28:44 PM  
Grandpa ?

 
tatum 2009-11-20 04:29:02 PM  
gambitsgirl: Cause people who rob banks are so clever

Exactly.
Clever people rob three casinos simultaneously in Las Vegas with the aid of the casino owner they ripped off last time.

/attica! attica! attica!

 
Death_Poot 2009-11-20 04:29:24 PM  
The fail is strong with this one.........


/addicts do the craziest things

 
nytmare 2009-11-20 04:30:48 PM  
Coco LaFemme: His arrest record is 16 pages long? At what point do you say to someone like this "I'm sorry, you're too stupid to live outside a cage" and then just lock 'em up for life? This person clearly has a difficult time understanding what laws are.

Only 2 more pages and til it's legal.

 
tuna fingers [TotalFark] 2009-11-20 04:31:36 PM  
opiumpoopy: sonofslacker: Was the crack too much? Should I have only gone with the bank dye?

No, going with both was fine. Dude chose the wrong bus. I always use this one when I need to move fast


I'll call your triple decker.

www.freakingnews.com

 
gambitsgirl [TotalFark] 2009-11-20 04:32:28 PM  
gorgor: gambitsgirl: red? crack? not if it were the last link on earth

You forgot bag.


now you got me tingly

 
Treygreen13 2009-11-20 04:34:49 PM  
BKITU: Treygreen13: BKITU: Headline notwithstanding, It is unknown whether Castro was covered in red dye at the time of his arrest.

That sentence is full of win.

It also negates the headline.

Which is why I prefaced it with "Headline notwithstanding," you see.


Ah, that is what you meant.

 
IdBeCrazyIf [TotalFark] 2009-11-20 04:35:07 PM  
gorgor: APPROVES
http://tinyurl.com/yhyau89
(copy and paste, NSFW)


See if he had hid it there we'd never have had the article in question

 
Ivo Shandor 2009-11-20 04:37:09 PM  
Coco LaFemme: His arrest record is 16 pages long? At what point do you say to someone like this "I'm sorry, you're too stupid to live outside a cage" and then just lock 'em up for life?

My suggestion is that your sentence for a particular crime is the "regular" sentence multiplied by the number of times you have ever been convicted of that crime. So if you do something with a nominal 90-day sentence but it's your 10th conviction for it, you go away for 900 days. This seems like a reasonable compromise between a "revolving door" prison and a "3 shoplifted candy bars = life behind bars" police state.

 
numbone 2009-11-20 04:37:57 PM  
Castro's arrest record is 16 pages long and shows past arrests for trespassing, burglary and grand theft.

Between this guy and the health care bill looks like we're in for a paper shortage.

 
the money is in the banana stand 2009-11-20 04:43:45 PM  
Someone Photoshop Tyrone Biggums lifting that bus.

 
relaxitsjustme 2009-11-20 04:48:14 PM  
Anybody know about how many years does this loser ends up doing for this crime?

 
Howiefelter2x 2009-11-20 04:53:42 PM  
When the police knock on your door, it's best not to answer it while covered in bank dye and holding a big bag of crack

Please tell me I'm not the only one that read that as black dye...

/please

 
albo [TotalFark] 2009-11-20 04:57:12 PM  
earl_k: Submitter s at use of the tag. . .

damn. thanks for the advice. it's only my first greenlight!

 
chaddsfarkprefect 2009-11-20 04:58:31 PM  
Well, should I have my hands on my head or on the trigger of my gun?

 
BKITU [TotalFark] 2009-11-20 04:59:27 PM  
albo: earl_k: Submitter s at use of the tag. . .

damn. thanks for the advice. it's only my first greenlight!


So what's your excuse on the bank dye sentence, 40below-lite?

 
dreadprophet 2009-11-20 05:00:01 PM  
Howiefelter2x: Please tell me I'm not the only one that read that as black dye...

Why's it gotta be black? Huh?

/got nothin'

 
Failing_Junk [TotalFark] 2009-11-20 05:00:11 PM  
When the police knock on your door, it's best not to answer it while covered in bank dye and holding a big bag of crack

Fixed.

If they have a warrant they will kick in the door. If not you have:

nothing to gain from interacting with them (new window)

and everything to lose. (new window)

 
Serious Black 2009-11-20 05:01:07 PM  
Ivo Shandor: My suggestion is that your sentence for a particular crime is the "regular" sentence multiplied by the number of times you have ever been convicted of that crime. So if you do something with a nominal 90-day sentence but it's your 10th conviction for it, you go away for 900 days. This seems like a reasonable compromise between a "revolving door" prison and a "3 shoplifted candy bars = life behind bars" police state.

I can see it now. A serial killer goes to trial and is convicted on 25 counts of 1st degree murder and is sentenced to 50 years for each murder. That would result in a 16,250 year sentence. Never mind that the average lifespan for a human being is still under 80 years, we should leave his corpse in jail for the whole damn time.

/Maybe the stink would lead to criminals reforming their ways
//Even better, let's give him the death penalty 325 times!

 
albo [TotalFark] 2009-11-20 05:01:57 PM  
So what's your excuse on the bank dye sentence, 40below-lite?

*screams like gail and evelle"

/subtle?

 
Harvey Manfrenjensenjen 2009-11-20 05:02:04 PM  
Coco LaFemme: His arrest record is 16 pages long? At what point do you say to someone like this "I'm sorry, you're too stupid to live outside a cage" and then just lock 'em up for life? This person clearly has a difficult time understanding what laws are.

People like this make it very difficult for people like me to be against the death penalty. At this point (OK, long before this point), this guy is clearly much more hassle than he's worth. Any hope of redemption or presumption of innocence is long gone... just take him out back and shoot him.

 
SlothB77 2009-11-20 05:02:53 PM  
Police arrested a man Friday they say robbed a bank and then had a dye pack explode on him while using a bus to escape.

florida tag. also, who uses a bus as a getaway car from a bank robbery?

 
Gameshot911 2009-11-20 05:28:00 PM  
When the police knock on your door, it's best not to answer it while covered in bank dye and holding a big bag of crack

FTFY

 
jsherp 2009-11-20 06:16:40 PM  
bstud: scseth: When do the Fail tag and the Florida tag become synonymous?

nevar the Florida tag should always trump the fail tag


The Florida tag trumps everything!

 
ThePuceGuardian 2009-11-20 07:41:54 PM  
gorgor: APPROVES
http://tinyurl.com/yhyau89
(copy and paste, NSFW)

*click*


Ah, Puff the Magic Dragon guy. Good to see you back in form, gorgor.

 
StarshipAngel 2009-11-20 08:18:58 PM  
(weebl)

....I've got big back of crack heeeere....I'm gonna put it in my mouth (oh, yes)...I'm gonna rob a bank and get covered up in dye....then everyone will look at me and say "he's got bag full of crack"


(/weebl)

 
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