Crazy. I would think "Donut Shop" would be hanging out with "Sushi Bar" at the rock BOTTOM of the list of places to rob, just based on the potential hazards involved at each.

To wit: some abject brain-dead moron tried to armed-rob one of my favorite late-night sushi places a few years ago. I'm sure he was thinking that late hours + expensive product = easy target and fast cash. But he obviously WASN'T thinking about the combination of zen-centered, martial arts-expert Japanese staff with impeccable, better-than-razor-sharp cutlery never more than six inches from their deadly fingers, and the skills to use it in ways that would make Wes Craven flinch.

Suffice it to say, that's about the only instance where being the knife guy in a gun fight still left him at a distinct disadvantage. I wasn't there, but my favorite sushi chef Hiroki apparently handed this guy his ass - almost literally - without even breaking a sweat. And he was back to the maki before the cops even left, hands as steady as ever.

Of course, he had to swap out the knife, but still.

I guess they were too busy busting the guy with the pepper spray because his jet ski looked suspicious.

The cops are never there to prevent crime, only to shuffle paper after the fact. This is why they should not be allowed to speed or run red lights and claim they are on the way to the scene of an accident or emergency. Reserve that for the Paramedics or EMTs.

/cue the badge kissers defending cops and dodging the point of my post

A donut shop empty of cops? I smell an inside job.

Forced them to remove their pants? Did he want a demonstration of how they make the donuts?

AdolfOliverPanties: Forced them to remove their pants? Did he want a demonstration of how they make the donuts?

Just don't get the "chocolate" one.

"Police were nowhere to be found"

Cause it was the police.

The doughnut shop learned the hard way what happens when the pigs don't get fed for free.

I'm confused, I didn't see where they had a picture of the girl with her pants off.

the balls of these guys...

"If you have to go out and rob a Dunkin Donuts, you really need a life," said resident Leslie Simmons. "You're putting others in harm. You're not thinking about the community. You're thinking about yourself."

Leslie is smart.

And the robbers really thought the clerks would run after them?

FTFA "If you have to go out and rob a Dunkin Donuts, you really need a life," said resident Leslie Simmons. "You're putting others in harm. You're not thinking about the community. You're thinking about yourself."
Since when is robbery about the community?

Lets just get this out of the way

Cops Suck
Civilians Suck
Everybody Sucks

There.. Can someone please call out this tired meme..

Hmmm.... no pants; lots of doughnuts....

just2quixotic: The cops are never there to prevent crime, only to shuffle paper after the fact. This is why they should not be allowed to speed or run red lights and claim they are on the way to the scene of an accident or emergency. Reserve that for the Paramedics or EMTs.

/cue the badge kissers defending cops and dodging the point of my post

The only thing that smells better than fresh troll in the morning is fresh apple fritters. So I'm going to ignore that delectable troll and find myself a fritter.

Victims are pants-less. Repeat. Pants-less.

I can see it now:
Male: "We were robbed and they made us take our pants off"
Female: "Yea, yea, that's it, robbers did this?"
Cop: "So you telling me you didn't use your maple bar to fill her donut hole with boston cream then?"
Male: "Yea, that's what I'm sayin."
Female: "Oh, and we didn't have sex either."

notalwaysright: FTFA "If you have to go out and rob a Dunkin Donuts, you really need a life," said resident Leslie Simmons. "You're putting others in harm. You're not thinking about the community. You're thinking about yourself."
Since when is robbery about the community?


Tally-ho!

fta: "If you have to go out and rob a Dunkin Donuts, you really need a life," said resident Leslie Simmons. "You're putting others in harm. You're not thinking about the community. You're thinking about yourself."

Thanks for that enlightening insight into the mind of a criminal, Leslie.

FTFA:

"The robbers were dressed in all black, with black masks, black gloves and hooded coats, Indianapolis police Sgt. Matt Mount said."

Ya, "all black". We got it the first time, M&M.

Also FTFA:

"If you have to go out and rob a Dunkin Donuts, you really need a life," said resident Leslie Simmons. "You're putting others in harm. You're not thinking about the community. You're thinking about yourself."

So, when exactly does a robber NOT think of himself first? Is she thinking they're all Robin Hoods or something?

"Gee, I know I could get good money for that computer, but little Jimmy next door could really use one! Aw well, I'll just give it to the little whippersnapper, then."

Idiot.

Pics of it didn't happen!

shakes fist at SeamusFerrell

Brainsick: notalwaysright: FTFA "If you have to go out and rob a Dunkin Donuts, you really need a life," said resident Leslie Simmons. "You're putting others in harm. You're not thinking about the community. You're thinking about yourself."
Since when is robbery about the community?


Tally-ho!

Sigh... the timing, I don't has it.

Inside job.

just2quixotic: The cops are never there to prevent crime, only to shuffle paper after the fact. This is why they should not be allowed to speed or run red lights and claim they are on the way to the scene of an accident or emergency. Reserve that for the Paramedics or EMTs.

/cue the badge kissers defending cops and dodging the point of my post

You're right. Every single time a cop shows up on the scene, the situation has already resolved itself. They have never arrived to prevent further crime or injury.

You do not want cops to "be there to prevent crime". Tom Cruise taught us that arresting people for pre-crime doesn't work.

/sprinkle hot

FTFA: Investigators said the robbers apparently made the employees remove their pants so they wouldn't give chase when the men left.

That is clever, very clever. Wow.

Ha! I get it, cause all cops are fat and like doughnuts. Lame.

OtherLittleGuy: Pics of it didn't happen!

There's a video of it:
Everybody get buck naked! (new window)

forward to 4:00

You can bet the cops were all over the skateboarder with the bag of weed a few blocks over though.

Cops seen parked under a bridge talking with each other.

just2quixotic: /cue the badge kissers defending cops and dodging the point of my post

I understand the point of your post completely, and I fully expect that you will be asking your city government to substantially raise your taxes so that they can assign a police officer to every business and residence in your city so as to fulfill your expectations of the police.

The fact is, the police prevent future crimes by solving current crimes and putting people in jail where they will not commit new crimes. The police are fairly efficient in that respect as evidenced by the number of criminals in prison.

Mr. Slippyfist: You're right. Every single time a cop shows up on the scene, the situation has already resolved itself. They have never arrived to prevent further crime or injury.

You do not want cops to "be there to prevent crime". Tom Cruise taught us that arresting people for pre-crime doesn't work.



"Preventing FURTHER crime or injury" isn't exactly "serving and protecting" now is it? There used to be an idea that police lived in the community they served and oddly, it seemed to work. Now they stay in their car until the sh*t hits the fan and wonder why people aren't grateful. (That's the ones that aren't outright power-hungry assholes with grudges.) If not for the projection of force they manage, they'd be even more ineffective. Policing this way is bound to end in failure. Put cops back into community patrols and keep crime down? Preposterous... (new window)


/You also fail for referencing Tom Cruise and not Phillip K Dick (the author of the short story minority report was based on)
//geek rage!!

CruiserTwelve: The police are fairly efficient in that respect as evidenced by the number of criminals in prison.

Dude, cause and effect much? A high number of people in prison doesn't mean all the criminals are being locked up. A cop would know that...I smell troll.

Mr. Slippyfist: Tom Cruise taught us that arresting people for pre-crime doesn't work.

There was that whole bill of rights thing just before that, and the magna carta, and the code of laws back in persia

But I guess you missed those

Brainsick: /You also fail for referencing Tom Cruise and not Phillip K Dick (the author of the short story minority report was based on)

Wow BURNED (with a very tiny mildly warm thumbtack on a summers day)

// Who the fark references short story authors ?
// Who even remembers their names ?!?

CruiserTwelve: just2quixotic: /cue the badge kissers defending cops and dodging the point of my post

I understand the point of your post completely, and I fully expect that you will be asking your city government to substantially raise your taxes so that they can assign a police officer to every business and residence in your city so as to fulfill your expectations of the police.

The fact is, the police prevent future crimes by solving current crimes and putting people in jail where they will not commit new crimes. The police are fairly efficient in that respect as evidenced by the number of criminals in prison.

And with this being in Indianapolis where the police department has one of the highest crime solve rates in country and the highest homicide solve rate in the country, I am willing to bet 1,000,000 internets that IMPD has the perpetrators in jail within one week.

/works near this Dunkin Donuts
//crime victim and police caught the guy within 24 hours
///has faith in Indianapolis Metropolitan Police Department
////while I will never be "whole" from this crime, at least the a-hole that did it will spend the next 27 years in complete misery being ass-raped with a broken broom handle. Hopefully the splintered end.

//slashies

Brainsick: CruiserTwelve: The police are fairly efficient in that respect as evidenced by the number of criminals in prison.

Dude, cause and effect much? A high number of people in prison doesn't mean all the criminals are being locked up. A cop would know that...I smell troll.

Well, yeah. Nobody said ALL the criminals are in jail. If that's your expectation, then we need to build one hell of a lot more prisons.

Crime will always exist. The best anyone can do about it is control it. Until someone can come up with a foolproof way to predict when a person is going to commit a crime and put the person in jail before they commit the crime, that's the only realistic expectation anyone can have.

psssst...I'm not wearing pants.

CruiserTwelve: Until someone can come up with a foolproof way to predict when a person is going to commit a crime and put the person in jail before they commit the crime, that's the only realistic expectation anyone can have.

Why jail them for thinking about committing a crime? If you know they're going to, you could take steps to prevent it. In cases of serial murderers and rapists the motive is intangible, but most other crime occurs when the "criminal" finds themselves with "no other option" (quote marks due to influences like lack of education, drug addiction, etc...) Rather than jailing someone, you could help them out of their "dead-end" situation and in that way contribute to the overall health of the community. Historically, prevention has taken a backseat to punishment though, so I'm not holding my breath.

Brainsick: most other crime occurs when the "criminal" finds themselves with "no other option" (quote marks due to influences like lack of education, drug addiction, etc...) Rather than jailing someone, you could help them out of their "dead-end" situation and in that way contribute to the overall health of the community. Historically, prevention has taken a backseat to punishment though, so I'm not holding my breath.


First, do you think it's the responsibility of the police to provide options for people to prevent them from committing crimes? Secondly, don't those options already exist? Aren't there public schools to to provide educations for the uneducated? Publically funded detox programs for drug addicts?

Unfortunately, all of these programs require the desire of the person involved. You can't force someone to become educated, or to get off drugs. You can only provide the opportunity. If they don't take advantage of that, it's on them. That's why criminals and prisons will always exist. Some people don't have the willpower or the desire to be anything better than what they are.

Psycoholic_Slag: You can bet the cops were all over the skateboarder with the bag of weed a few blocks over though.

As they should be. I farkin' hate skateboarders.

clutchcargo2009: Psycoholic_Slag: You can bet the cops were all over the skateboarder with the bag of weed a few blocks over though.

As they should be. I farkin' hate skateboarders.

You sound fat.

CruiserTwelve: just2quixotic: /cue the badge kissers defending cops and dodging the point of my post

I understand the point of your post completely, and I fully expect that you will be asking your city government to substantially raise your taxes so that they can assign a police officer to every business and residence in your city so as to fulfill your expectations of the police.

The fact is, the police prevent future crimes by solving current crimes and putting people in jail where they will not commit new crimes. The police are fairly efficient in that respect as evidenced by the number of criminals in prison.

_____________________

Way to fulfill expectations.

/If it matters cruiser, you were exactly who I had in mind when I wrote that.

CruiserTwelve: First, do you think it's the responsibility of the police to provide options for people to prevent them from committing crimes?

No, not IRL, but in the "precrime" scenario you posited, why jail them at all for a crime borne out of desperation?

Slartibartfaster: Brainsick: /You also fail for referencing Tom Cruise and not Phillip K Dick (the author of the short story minority report was based on)

Wow BURNED (with a very tiny mildly warm thumbtack on a summers day)

// Who the fark references short story authors ?
// Who even remembers their names ?!?

Phillip K. Dick (pops) is not exactly obscure.

We could've used the ironic tag on this one.

Superior Donuts.

katghoti: I can see it now:
Male: "We were robbed and they made us take our pants off"
Female: "Yea, yea, that's it, robbers did this?"
Cop: "So you telling me you didn't use your maple bar to fill her donut hole with boston cream then?"
Male: "Yea, that's what I'm sayin."
Female: "Oh, and we didn't have sex either."

Exactly what I was thinking. They just took advantage of the moment while they were down in the basement, and the cops came a little sooner than they expected.

Oh, and I love the Weeners from Matilda after the article:
People just trying to make a living and these thugs who are too lazy and stupid to work show up and make them strip so they can rob the place. Hope some sort of sexual battery charge is included when they catch these low-lifes.

Sexual battery?

just2quixotic: Way to fulfill expectations.

/If it matters cruiser, you were exactly who I had in mind when I wrote that.

Then what exactly are your expectations? It was clear that you expected the police to be there before a crime occurred, and I was pointing out that was unreasonable. If that was not what you intended your post to say, then what?

And if you're going to disgree with me, snarky comments won't work. What did I say that fit your apparently low expectations? How was I wrong in my response?