So how many broken commandments is that anyway?

I can hear her balls clanging from here.

Wow...

How could that possibly be worse?

I guess she could have abducted the victim's children and sold their plasma...

What a great story. Man, Mallory Ewart is one bold woman. She almost deserves one of the MacArthur Foundation Genius Awards.

Throw her and her boyfriend in the same cell, then throw away the key and don't bother feeding them.

Now that is some devious shiat.

What and where is Vantucky?

Now that's just evil.

It's the circle of liiiife!

that's ingenuity

sounds like my ex wife HEYYYOOO!!!!

/not really

Lumi: What and where is Vantucky?

I think it's west of Pennsyltucky.

Talk about adding insult to injury, I mean death...
That does take some serious balls though. I'll give her that.

Lumi: What and where is Vantucky?

It's where I currently live: Vancouver Washington. It's across the Columbia River from Portland, OR, and it's known for a really old apple tree, a fort from the early settlers, and the fact that EVERYONE in Vancouver owns an SUV. And the occasional stupid news story.

Portland has done everything right as a city: Embraced public transportation, limited sprawl, protected important wildlife habitats, etc.

Vancouver thought it would be a good idea to do the opposite of everything Portland did, and now the city is a sprawling, SUV laden disaster. Still, it's cheaper and less pretentious than Portland :D

Bond Supervillian material right there.

FTA: Police also discovered that Ewart or one of her friends allegedly confessed on her MySpace page she was organizing a car wash to raise money to post bail for Cellestine.

I know I should be jaded by now, but it still boggles my mind that people don't understand that if you commit a crime, a social networking site might be the WORST place to brag about it.

Maybe second worst, worst being at the police station.

If you have ever embezzled money from a charity car wash intended to help victims of a crime in order to bail out the perpetrator of that crime you just might be a redneck.

FTFA: "Cellestine was questioned by police later that evening and then taken into custody.

Two more people -- Kelsey D. Curtis and Geno J. Lozensky -- were later arrested in connection the hit-and-run case. Both were accused of trying to mislead police investigating Cellestine."
Keep in mind the ages given are all 18. This high school kid has THREE people putting their necks on the chopping block to protect him from a murder charge. I hope all four of them go away for a looooong time.

If there were a Dick Move of the Year award, she'd win it.

glenlivid: Lumi: What and where is Vantucky?

It's where I currently live: Vancouver Washington. It's across the Columbia River from Portland, OR, and it's known for a really old apple tree, a fort from the early settlers, and the fact that EVERYONE in Vancouver owns an SUV. And the occasional stupid news story.

I thought you were referring to the equivalent we've got in my state: Pennsyltucky. It's basically a pocket of the hick south in New England.

I Like Bread: I thought you were referring to the equivalent we've got in my state: Pennsyltucky. It's basically a pocket of the hick south in New England.

There are some hicks, but mostly just a bunch of dipsh*ts. I've never seen so much gas wasted as all these idiots drive through the Vancouver sprawl in their SUV's. And I'm a cyclist, so they LOVE me.

Basically, the city council was ran by housing developers, so the entire place is just a bunch of housing developments linked by inadequate roads.

Expand the death penalty to include "being a massive douchebag" as a qualifying conviction......give this biatch the needle (or whatever method WA state uses)

glenlivid: There are some hicks, but mostly just a bunch of dipsh*ts. I've never seen so much gas wasted as all these idiots drive through the Vancouver sprawl in their SUV's. And I'm a cyclist, so they LOVE me.

Honey, judging from this story, on a bike is not the safest place to be in Vancouver, WA. Watch your back.

glenlivid:

Vancouver thought it would be a good idea to do the opposite of everything Portland did, and now the city is a sprawling, SUV laden disaster. Still, it's cheaper and less pretentious than Portland :D

Don't forget about the child molesters! Lots and lots of child molesters.

Lumi: What and where is Vantucky?

It's where I currently live: Vancouver Washington.

And here I thought it was just some descriptive alternative for Kentucky based on the their common housing choice.

I am conflicted. On one hand, the sheer evil here kinda makes me want to see her hang. On the other hand, it is difficult not to admire the brazenness; we are talking about a woman with balls that any man would be proud to claim as his own: big brass ones that "clank" as she walks.

/eh, Fark it, throw her under the prison and throw away the key.

Vantuckey? I thought it was Clan-Tuckey

just2quixotic: I am conflicted. On one hand, the sheer evil here kinda makes me want to see her hang. On the other hand, it is difficult not to admire the brazenness; we are talking about a woman with balls that any man would be proud to claim as his own: big brass ones that "clank" as she walks.

/eh, Fark it, throw her under the prison and throw away the key.

I think it's less ballsy and more a heaping double-dose of the crazy. Mind you, all five people (killer, gf, 3 friends?) involved in the hit-n'-run kill and the bailout sound like real winners.

This thread is seriously lacking photos of what a charity car wash might look like.

jwa007: If you have ever embezzled money from a charity car wash intended to help victims of a crime in order to bail out the perpetrator of that crime you just might be a redneck.

This is the summary we all needed. +1 for you.

Aidan: glenlivid: There are some hicks, but mostly just a bunch of dipsh*ts. I've never seen so much gas wasted as all these idiots drive through the Vancouver sprawl in their SUV's. And I'm a cyclist, so they LOVE me.

Honey, judging from this story, on a bike is not the safest place to be in Vancouver, WA. Watch your back.

You've got that right. It's the last place I wanted to be biking. I grew up here was hit by a car on my bike in h.s., so at least I'm experienced. And it has gotten A LOT better. Tons of bike lanes now.

/thanks for the concern :)

Existential Angsty: Don't forget about the child molesters! Lots and lots of child molesters.

Good point. I just looked into that, and here are the stats:

Vancouver:
"registered" sex offenders: 192
population: 143,560
sex offenders per capita: .001337

Portland:
"registered" sex offenders: 174
population: 550,396
sex offenders per capita: .000316

Lumi: What and where is Vantucky?

The 'Couve........all the cool kids are calling it The 'Couve....

glenlivid:

Existential Angsty: Don't forget about the child molesters! Lots and lots of child molesters.

Good point. I just looked into that, and here are the stats:

Vancouver:
"registered" sex offenders: 192
population: 143,560
sex offenders per capita: .001337

Portland:
"registered" sex offenders: 174
population: 550,396
sex offenders per capita: .000316

Now in map version

Some of those mugshots will haunt you!

Kyosuke: I can hear her balls clanging from here.

I think some people are confusing bravery with stupidity. I don't think she was so terribly "ballsy", most likley she was too stupid to realize that what she was doing was illegal until the police started asking her questions about it.

She has an active MySpace page, unless there are several people with her somewhat unusual name in Vancouver, WA.

Link.

I just find it difficult to believe people could be so callus and cruel.

He kills someone with his car. (drugs and alcohol may have been involved)

He tries to lie his way out of it, and gets his friends to lie too.

Then his girlfriend steals from the family of his victim.

He gets out of jail on bond, promptly has a drug and alcohol fueled party, and gets busted again. So he forfeits the bail his girlfriend posted for him.

These people have just never learned that actions have consequences.

HAhahahaha! Awesome.

jwa007: If you have ever embezzled money from a charity car wash intended to help victims of a crime in order to bail out the perpetrator of that crime, who is your underage alcoholic boyfriend, you just might be a redneck.

I love this story.

How does the defendant plead?

I plead 'OH SNAP!', thats how I mutha fuggin plead, cuz thats dis biatch rolls. Oh? you want me to post bail? You can post dez nutz!

Burn98: I just find it difficult to believe people could be so callus and cruel.

He kills someone with his car. (drugs and alcohol may have been involved)

He tries to lie his way out of it, and gets his friends to lie too.

Then his girlfriend steals from the family of his victim.

He gets out of jail on bond, promptly has a drug and alcohol fueled party, and gets busted again. So he forfeits the bail his girlfriend posted for him.

Or as we like to call it around here, November.

What daring! What outrageousness! What insolence! What arrogance! ... I salute you.

/From Vancouver
//Cyclist
///May all these dipshiats burn in hell...

nitzertitz: What daring! What outrageousness! What insolence! What arrogance! ... I salute you.

/From Vancouver
//Cyclist
///May all these dipshiats burn in hell...

Right on! Email in profile...

I was driving one day and saw a bunch of hs cheerleaders holding up a free carwash sign. When I pulled in it was thier parents doing the washing.

I gave them 10 bucks for a good bait and switch trick.

They both need to be taken to the Vantucky animal shelter. The male should be neutered and the female spayed as they are truly too stupid to be allowed to reproduce. Maybe someone will adopt them and they can live the rest of their lives chasing rabbits in the country.

Chutzpah, she has it.

Ashrams: I was driving one day and saw a bunch of hs cheerleaders holding up a free carwash sign. When I pulled in it was thier parents doing the washing.

I gave them 10 bucks for a good bait and switch trick.

I would've driven off, gave them the finger, and shouted obscenities for that....

/Wait, what?

I don't think this chick has brass ovaries.

I suspect that she's so goddamn broken that is sounded like a good plan.

Let's clean up that gene-pool people

Alpha Sierra Foxtrot: FTA: Police also discovered that Ewart or one of her friends allegedly confessed on her MySpace page she was organizing a car wash to raise money to post bail for Cellestine.

I know I should be jaded by now, but it still boggles my mind that people don't understand that if you commit a crime, a social networking site might be the WORST place to brag about it.

Maybe second worst, worst being at the police station.

In her defence, she probably thought she was the only person left on MySpace