/Has eaten a few dicks, apparently

"Kirstie Alley will once again pull her hamstring. Not that hamstring, but the 900lb string of hams she pulls behind her wherever she goes."

so that's what happened to travolta.

That's not food! NO.

Adjective Bird Whiskey: "Kirstie Alley will once again pull her hamstring. Not that hamstring, but the 900lb string of hams she pulls behind her wherever she goes."

Heard that one last night. Comedy gold!

Kirstie Alley: "...that guy acts like I bit his dick off."

Subby: Kirstie Alley threatened to bite Conan's dick off.

Good ol' Fark.

Good response by Conan via the Weight Watchers crack.fark that biatch. She's quite possibly the most annoying tub of lard on the face of the planet. Don't change your behavior because she's PMSing, Conan. Stand up for yourself!

CheekyMunky [TotalFark] Quote 2009-11-19 06:41:59 PM
Kirstie Alley: "...that guy acts like I bit his dick off."

Subby: Kirstie Alley threatened to bite Conan's dick off.

Good ol' Fark.

Mmmyyeeah, but "Conan O'Brien responds to Kirstie Alley's comparative assertion that Conan's behavior is much like that of someone whose penis had been recently consumed by said actress. You stay classy, Kirstie Alley" just didn't have the right ring to it.

Stupid words.

Oh look, another sponsored link by Scott Wampler in an attempt to boost visits to his "articles".

Schadenfreude ist die schoenste Freude: Oh look, another sponsored link by Scott Wampler in an attempt to boost visits to his "articles".

Ruh-Roh! Someone's in a grumpy mood! It's just the internet, dude: lighten up.

Tweet. Twit. Twat. It's all just pathetic advertising.

Video doesn't work. My hosts file is working too well.

Schadenfreude ist die schoenste Freude: Oh look, another sponsored link by Scott Wampler in an attempt to boost visits to his "articles".

I've been wondering how he's been getting so many links....

She could do it, too, it's one of the things they teach you in Scientology. OT IV is practically all dick biting.

Instead of getting all angry about the fat jokes, maybe she should go back to Jenny Craig.

IAmNotRickMoranis: Schadenfreude ist die schoenste Freude: Oh look, another sponsored link by Scott Wampler in an attempt to boost visits to his "articles".

Ruh-Roh! Someone's in a grumpy mood! It's just the internet, dude: lighten up.

Kill yourself.

[gummy_lighthouses.jpg]

IAmNotRickMoranis: /Has eaten a few dicks, apparently

If you're not Rick Moranis, then you didn't live down the hall from my granny years and years ago, right? Lawrence and Yonge?

Greta_VanHouten: Instead of getting all angry about the fat jokes, maybe she should go back to Jenny Craig.

Join Jenny Craig! We won't lock you in to a service that's difficult to get rid of, and you'll never overpay! We tell you everything upfront and are completely honest! Don't believe us? Just ask this Scientologist!

The fact that Conan engages such "cutting edge" "humour" as pointing out that Kirstie Allen is fat is one of the many reasons why I despise Conan and what he has done to the once great "Tonight Show"
Zombie Jack Parr, Steve Allen, and Johnny Carson should storm the stage some night and wipe the smirk of Conan's ferret like visage with baseball bats. Then I would watch his pathetic show!

Delawheredad: The fact that Conan engages such "cutting edge" "humour" as pointing out that Kirstie Allen is fat is one of the many reasons why I despise Conan

This, sort of. I actually love[d] Conan, and saw him live when I went to New York a few years ago. I just think fat jokes are played out. And I think it's unnecessary to pick on someone that isn't even in the spotlight anymore.

/I know, I sound fat

"Diagnosis: Burger" made me actually laugh out loud

Fat jokes.... yeah Conan is a comedy genius. pfffft.

yeah the fat jokes are lame but here's the deal

i heard him do 4 Kirstie fat jokes over three days and thats when i dawned on me that Conan was picking on her... you know like that asshole douche bag we all knew in high school. and yeah i know some celebs deserve the attention (paris hilton ) but Here is Conan picking on someone because they got Fat ... not because they are some no talent ass clown spoiled drunk driving biatch.

He made some joke about Kirstie when interviewing Jamie Fox and then mentioned that Kirstie said she would like to get her hands on Fox - Conan asked Fox about it and Fox says " you know if thats what she wants then yeah fine with me" That was classy.

Conan you sir are an asshat douchebag bully and a coward. go fark yourself.

/me? not fat. i run alot. i just hate asshole douchebag bullies, Conan.

pope183: yeah the fat jokes are lame but here's the deal

i heard him do 4 Kirstie fat jokes over three days and thats when i dawned on me that Conan was picking on her... you know like that asshole douche bag we all knew in high school. and yeah i know some celebs deserve the attention (paris hilton ) but Here is Conan picking on someone because they got Fat ... not because they are some no talent ass clown spoiled drunk driving biatch.

He made some joke about Kirstie when interviewing Jamie Fox and then mentioned that Kirstie said she would like to get her hands on Fox - Conan asked Fox about it and Fox says " you know if thats what she wants then yeah fine with me" That was classy.

Conan you sir are an asshat douchebag bully and a coward. go fark yourself.

/me? not fat. i run alot. i just hate asshole douchebag bullies, Conan.

You sound like a soon to be fat person after your knees wear out. :D

All these complaints about fat jokes... I'm sure none of you have ever contributed to a Michael Moore or Rush Limbaugh thread.

Comedians pick on people? That's news to me.

Delawheredad: The fact that Conan engages such "cutting edge" "humour" as pointing out that Kirstie Allen is fat is one of the many reasons why I despise Conan and what he has done to the once great "Tonight Show"
Zombie Jack Parr, Steve Allen, and Johnny Carson should storm the stage some night and wipe the smirk of Conan's ferret like visage with baseball bats. Then I would watch his pathetic show!

And how many thousands of fat jokes did Carson make about Orson Welles and Raymond Burr?

/and don't get me started on how "classy" Paar's "WC" joke was

puckrock2000: And how many thousands of fat jokes did Carson make about Orson Welles and Raymond Burr?

/and don't get me started on how "classy" Paar's "WC" joke was

Pretty much that. Take off the rose-colored glasses, people.
/"HOW HOT WAS IT??"

Kristie Alley has made a career out of being fat. Didn't she have a show called Fat Princess or something like that? This is probably staged like rap beefs.

Greta_VanHouten: Instead of getting all angry about the fat jokes, maybe she should go back to Jenny Craig.

1-800-69-JENNY

I Like Bread: All these complaints about fat jokes... I'm sure none of you have ever contributed to a Michael Moore or Rush Limbaugh thread.

Yeah but they are both major douchebags irregardless of their weight. That said Kirstie's weight goes up and down like a yo-yo, additionally anyone who shill's for a weight loss place then balloons up like a blimp has got to expect some flack...

She's not fat.

It's just that her body thetans have a lot more "body" than the average body thetans.

/mmmm....rich, full-bodied thetans with a hollandaise sauce......

Bill_Wick's_Friend: She's not fat.

It's just that her body thetans have a lot more "body" than the average body thetans.

/mmmm....rich, full-bodied thetans with a hollandaise sauce......


Xenu frowns on your shenanigans

eagles95: Xenu frowns on your shenanigans

You should see HIS recipe for body thetans. It's all butter and egg yolks and cracklins and bacon and deep fried.

/a moment on the lips, 75 million years on the hips.....

Where is the all time comedy genius Bill Hicks when we need him?


/actually Bill Hicks sucks. But I want to be cool with the TotalFarkers!

A primer on fame and fortune for Kirstie Alley:

1.The upside to being famous and wealthy is that you get to be adored and buy nice things. People will adore you, fawn over you, and give you free stuff even though you're rich. People will kiss your ass knowing full well that you wipe the poop off your butt the same way they do, and they know it never really gets clean enough for kissing.

2.The downside is that once you've become a well known person, people will make fun of you whenever they feel like it. Yes, it'll hurt your feelings. See 1.

Now, now.....she's just being a good Scientologist and storing energy for when Xenu gets sick of the rest of us non-believers and destroys all food sources. Then, as the only survivor as the rest of us starve, she will truly be at the top of said food chain, if you forgive the pun. She's thinking ahead.

Delawheredad: The fact that Conan engages such "cutting edge" "humour" as pointing out that Kirstie Allen is fat is one of the many reasons why I despise Conan and what he has done to the once great "Tonight Show"
Zombie Jack Parr, Steve Allen, and Johnny Carson should storm the stage some night and wipe the smirk of Conan's ferret like visage with baseball bats. Then I would watch his pathetic show!

Jay, is that you?