Jesus Christ subby, not everything that isn't a rustbucket Chevy Cavalier is full of smug.

"Smug" is catching up to "hipster" as the most misused word on Fark. I think smug is worse though because even when used correctly it is still overused.

Why the cheap California smug. That is so plentiful anybody can get it. Why not go for some rare smug, like maybe Canadian smug or something?

Minis are for smug people now? Do you have to drive something which produces shiat from the exhaust to be not considered smug

But is it held together with a million tiny machine screws with lock washers and hex nuts [where one bolt threaded into the part itself would suffice]

There's a reason why there are no truly British cars anymore.

How is a mini smug? I don't really care for them, but they are a decent car.

so long as i dont get a fake mini cooper im happy

neilio42: Why the cheap California smug. That is so plentiful anybody can get it. Why not go for some rare smug, like maybe Canadian smug or something?

Could you get enough Canadian Smug to cover a MINI headliner?

I think they should stick with either some Harvard/MIT smug (plentiful and good quality), or use High-End-Car-Enthusiast smug, which fits the theme and has a nicely European feel to it.

(what a mini-Rolls might look like)

Subby's an idiot. They did this with original Mini.

Smug? people drive minis because they are fun to drive. Hell, they don't even get great gas mileage

I can't stand Mini Coopers (Except for the older ones) but smug doesn't describe their drivers.

only real Americans drive



Whale penis leather interior. That's all you really need to know about the $1.5 million Dartz Prombron Monaco Red Diamond Edition. Yes, the diamond-encrusted white gold gauges and gold-plated bulletproof windows are impressive, but seriously, whale penis leather interior.

The already bulletproof and wildly over-the-top 8.1 liter GM V8-powered Dartz Kombat T98 is getting a name change to Prombron and along with it will come a complete and brain-maimingly bourgeoisie upgrade with the Monaco Red Diamond Edition. The world's most expensive ultra-luxury SUV will debut at the 2010 Top Marques Monaco show with luxe features crazy enough to make a Maybach blush. For your $1.5 million you get the following features:

Quote:
1. Ruby Red matte paint
2. Gold-plated bulletproof windows
3. 22" Kremlin Red Star bulletproof wheels

4. Whale Penis Leather interior
5. Tungsten exhaust
6. Tungsten and white gold gauges with diamonds and rubies
7. White gold diamond and ruby encrusted badges - grill, side and dashboard
8. Special edition Vertu mobile phone with "alert" button
9. Additional outside kevlar coating
10. Rogue Acoustic Audio System.

And, of course, of course -
THREE BOTTLES OF World Most Expensive Vodka - RussoBaltique Vodka, drink edition, same as in the RussoBaltique car when it visited Monaco at 1912.
We have a lot of questions about this car, most of them whale penis leather-related, but in the bigger picture, this brazen finger-in-the-eye raises a good point, so to speak. What makes a luxury vehicle? Things we used to think of as luxury - bovine leather, wood trim, high-end audio, etc., have become mainstream. Does it take exceptionally ridiculous material selection and bold ostentatious flair to define new luxury? Is it encapsulating yourself in a vehicle capable of taking a direct hit from a rocket propelled grenade? Does it mean emulating the wild excess of past luxury much like the Red Diamond is doing? Who knows. But we're betting the tzars would roll in one of these babies.

If there's any econobox that ISN'T smug, it's the Mini. If you haven't noticed, Subby, there's a big aftermarket & custom biz built around the Mini Cooper. People spend big $ personalizing them. It only makes sense that the factory would want to cash in on it. They already cashed in on the performance crew w/ the John Cooper Works performance pkg for the S. May as well go for the luxury market too.

Brabus already did the same thing with the Smart. (new window)

Trollaholic: Whale penis leather interior. That's all you really need to know about the $1.5 million Dartz Prombron Monaco Red Diamond Edition. Yes, the diamond-encrusted white gold gauges and gold-plated bulletproof windows are impressive, but seriously, whale penis leather interior.

Whale penis gloves would be awesome.

tacos813: Smug? people drive minis because they are fun to drive. Hell, they don't even get great gas mileage

Mine gets 32mpg...I think that's pretty good.

Actually, they dropped the whale foreskin interior from the list of features.

Something about PETA and ecomentalists.

The Mini is a BMW brand now. And it's a noticeably bigger car this time around.

/The charm, she is gone.
//Gone with the wind.
///Like the Nash Metropolitan.

Actually some Mini owners complain about being looked down on at BMW dealerships. And I can't really say that I think "smug" when I see a Mini.

ScouserDuck: tacos813: Smug? people drive minis because they are fun to drive. Hell, they don't even get great gas mileage

Mine gets 32mpg...I think that's pretty good.

They by no means get bad gas mileage, people just seem to assume the reason to buy on is it gets great mileage.

i remember a commercial for some suv (GM i think) touting That it gets the same mileage as a mini...

I think you're thinking of the the Suzuki SX-4. It's a small crossover.

Look at that! You can't BUY smug like that any more!

37 mpg on the highway is pretty good for such a damn fun car

Shang-High: 37 mpg on the highway is pretty good for such a damn fun car

They are fun. i went back and forth between buying a mini and a mazdaspeed3 for weeks before i bought the mazda (it was cheaper and had more room, handling was a draw). I know a few people with minis and they get around 25mpg combined. mostly city though.

I drive a Volvo C30, and Mini drivers always give me smug looks.

Shang-High: 37 mpg on the highway is pretty good for such a damn fun car

You can't be driving the "fun" version if your mpg is that high.

Cndn Bacon: Shang-High: 37 mpg on the highway is pretty good for such a damn fun car

You can't be driving the "fun" version if your mpg is that high.

I drive the fun version..and as previously stated, 32mpg.

Damn fun to drive.

ScouserDuck: You can't be driving the "fun" version if your mpg is that high.

I drive the fun version..and as previously stated, 32mpg.

Ah, manufacturer's estimated mpg, not actual. Carry on then.

Mini Cooper - FWD + RWD - weight + horsepower = a much more compelling purchase

Sure it's far from practical, but who wouldn't want a street legal go kart with a roof?

Cndn Bacon: ScouserDuck: You can't be driving the "fun" version if your mpg is that high.

I drive the fun version..and as previously stated, 32mpg.

Ah, manufacturer's estimated mpg, not actual. Carry on then.


They have a ringer drive the car, but if you hypermile you can get pretty close.

Cndn Bacon: ScouserDuck: You can't be driving the "fun" version if your mpg is that high.

I drive the fun version..and as previously stated, 32mpg.

Ah, manufacturer's estimated mpg, not actual. Carry on then.

Nope...actual..as in I look at my cars display as it adjusts for the way im driving. But thanks for playing.

I Chop Your Dollars: I drive a Volvo C30, and Mini drivers always give me smug looks.

That's what we call "The Twilight Effect." Congratulations, you drive a car that's in "Teen Dracula 90210"

My Mini Cooper gets 32-34 actual. As in, reported by the computer, and by do the math by hand. I've gotten as high as 38 driving cross-country, as low as 28 in all-city.

/YMMV
//And yes, I was smug when gas hit $4. LMAO.

tacos813: Shang-High: 37 mpg on the highway is pretty good for such a damn fun car

They are fun. i went back and forth between buying a mini and a mazdaspeed3 for weeks before i bought the mazda (it was cheaper and had more room, handling was a draw). I know a few people with minis and they get around 25mpg combined. mostly city though.

It depends on a lot of things of course. My old 2003 MINI w/CVT trans got 42 on the highway! My 2006 MINI S gets 29. *shrug*. You get what you pay for. I think my S is worth the sacrifice in mileage in exhange for driving fun. Nothing else with front wheel drive handles like this car does.

You can get a Mini with a Union Jack on the roof or on the side mirrors. Or you can get it with the Scottish flag on the roof. Or the American flag. That's not smug, that's farking cool.

aiiee: tacos813: Shang-High: 37 mpg on the highway is pretty good for such a damn fun car

They are fun. i went back and forth between buying a mini and a mazdaspeed3 for weeks before i bought the mazda (it was cheaper and had more room, handling was a draw). I know a few people with minis and they get around 25mpg combined. mostly city though.

It depends on a lot of things of course. My old 2003 MINI w/CVT trans got 42 on the highway! My 2006 MINI S gets 29. *shrug*. You get what you pay for. I think my S is worth the sacrifice in mileage in exhange for driving fun. Nothing else with front wheel drive handles like this car does.

That was my whole point.
Although in purely handeling i think my speed3 (FWD) would win!

I don't have a Mini, but I wanted to join in the failmitter bashing. They seem like damn fine cars.

Trollaholic: Whale penis leather interior. That's all you really need to know about the $1.5 million Dartz Prombron Monaco Red Diamond Edition. Yes, the diamond-encrusted white gold gauges and gold-plated bulletproof windows are impressive, but seriously, whale penis leather interior.

Whale penis gloves would be awesome.

I have a whale penis wallet. When you rub it, it turns into a suitcase.

"Green" is becoming more like religious mummery and less connected to something verifiable and real every day.

Remember the old rules in the Torah/Old Testament about how this is 'clean' and that is 'unclean' relating to a variety of foods, behaviors, etc.? Those rules have some nonzero correlation with good, intelligent public health. Pigs were the garbage and sewage treatment plants of the ancient world, and no thermometer told you when your meat was over 160^o. It was rational to avoid pork, but the culture bound it up in ancient traditions and religious fervor. The same goes for 'greenness' - an increasingly tenuous connection between the label and the science.

A car or appliance is 'green' when it is fashionable. An enormous 25 ft² fridge is 'green' when it gets an EPA sticker, even when the hipster couple could do well with an old 10 ft² that burns much less electricity. The manufacturing footprint of a Prius is substantially more than some $12k Yaris or Kia.

The next time you watch a movie set in olden times, where people chuck rocks at a leper and shout UNCLEAN - remember that our descendants will say the same about us and 80% of our environmentalist emotional froth.

/mummery!

Lemme know when they give it a transmission that will last past 75,000 miles. I can't believe they seriously seal those things at the factory. No repairing them. Only replacement ($7000 or so).

Rolls Royce hasn't been Rolls Royce ever since they started sticking BMW motors in them.

overzelus: Lemme know when they give it a transmission that will last past 75,000 miles. I can't believe they seriously seal those things at the factory. No repairing them. Only replacement ($7000 or so).

you got a citation?

Bingo the psycho-o,

I'm with you. Either it is the venerable 6 ¾ liter work of high culture and master craftsmanship, OR it was made before 1968, OR it's not a proper Rolls-Royce* automobile.

*and never a Rolls-Royce. The firm continues the tradition of not using its name as a noun; it is an adjective, and they will use the Queen's English properly even if they are the last to do so.

oneodd1: overzelus: Lemme know when they give it a transmission that will last past 75,000 miles. I can't believe they seriously seal those things at the factory. No repairing them. Only replacement ($7000 or so).

you got a citation?

This is a common practice with European manufacturers. You *may* be able to find and acquire (two separate animals) parts somewhere, and most dealerships don't break down the running gear as replacement parts.

It's much, much easier to source parts from a Japanese, or even easier yet, American trans.

It will still die 50,000 miles after leaving the assembly line, so what's the point?

The Rolls that zigs!

Ladies and gentlemen, for no particular reason whatsoever I give you one of the greatest scenes in cinema history (new window) that involves a Mini.

BobtheFascist: If there's any econobox that ISN'T smug, it's the Mini. If you haven't noticed, Subby, there's a big aftermarket & custom biz built around the Mini Cooper. People spend big $ personalizing them. It only makes sense that the factory would want to cash in on it. They already cashed in on the performance crew w/ the John Cooper Works performance pkg for the S. May as well go for the luxury market too.

Brabus already did the same thing with the Smart. (new window)

Sweet. Thanks for the link. Last week I saw one on the streets, and I thought I was going crazy.

tacos813: That was my whole point.
Although in purely handeling i think my speed3 (FWD) would win!

To be honest, I've never driven the Mazdaspeed3, although they do look fun. I'm sure an autocross between the two would prove enlightening.

oneodd1: overzelus: Lemme know when they give it a transmission that will last past 75,000 miles. I can't believe they seriously seal those things at the factory. No repairing them. Only replacement ($7000 or so).

you got a citation?

uh , this is kind of true. My CVT started to get noisy in the MINI and nobody would open it up. Minimum bid to swap it out with a rebuilt was $8000 actually. ouch!