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(io9) Spiffy D'oh: Want to know the plot of "Avatar?" Just read the song listings from the soundtrack. (massive spoilers, obviously)   (io9.com) divider line 115
More: Spiffy, Sigourney Weaver, Jake, Pandora, Avatar Day, James Cameron, flirting, Gathering All the Na, warriors  
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11242 clicks; posted to Showbiz » on 19 Nov 2009 at 2:51 PM   |  Make this a Fark FavoriteFavorite    |   share: Share on OMGTWITTER WEB2.0share on StumbleUponshare on Facebook  more»   |    Get this fabulous T-Shirt and impress the methane out of your friends! shirt it!

115 Comments   (+0 »)


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GurneyHalleck [TotalFark] 2009-11-19 12:39:36 PM  
Or watch "Dances With Wolves" or better yet "Little Big Man."

 
Cagey B [TotalFark] 2009-11-19 12:50:37 PM  
I've seen the trailer for this movie several times now, and I'm not seeing how blue CGI indian goat creatures dancing around in the forest on top of magic oil reserves is causing excitement.

 
DjangoStonereaver [TotalFark] 2009-11-19 01:02:55 PM  
The more I hear about this movie, the more I am convinced it will be a
HEAVEN'S GATE level flop.

 
mattharvest [TotalFark] 2009-11-19 01:10:42 PM  
Between "Dances with Smurfs" and the Ferngully references, it's all been covered.

 
Mr. Coffee Nerves [TotalFark] 2009-11-19 01:11:01 PM  
I think South Park covered the plot of this movie very nicely in the "Cartman is Glenn Beck" episode.

 
Mr. Coffee Nerves [TotalFark] 2009-11-19 01:12:47 PM  
mattharvest: Between "Dances with Smurfs" and the Ferngully references, it's all been covered.

19 seconds faster AND you had the correct SP episode name. To atone for my shame I guess I'll have to go see this CGI disaster.

 
rcain [TotalFark] 2009-11-19 01:36:29 PM  
GurneyHalleck: better yet "Little Big Man."

Ohh hell yes, loved that movie as a kid and have a copy in my DVD collection.
Great film.

And ya.. if you couldn't tell from the trailer that it was a film about humans invading an other people's homeland and wiping them out because they got in the way... well, the movie will probably just bore you anyway. But beyond dances with wolves and little big man, I think it's a great commentary on people who get caught up in world of warcraft and 2nd Life. I'm not talking about the average user, I'm talking about those who let these alternate personas take over. Because the entire time he's in that skin-suit rebelling for the native's cause... he's plugged-in, right there in the HQ of the side he's renounced. He could be unplugged and shot for treason at any time, or if he actually succeeds, will only end up killing himself.

 
Talon [TotalFark] 2009-11-19 02:07:25 PM  
The plot seems absolutely predictable, cliche, etc.

I'll still probably go see it.

 
Aarontology [TotalFark] 2009-11-19 02:32:07 PM  
If you couldn't tell what the major plot points, conflicts, and ending would be from the trailers, you are a goddamn moron.

 
Sgt Otter [TotalFark] 2009-11-19 02:43:49 PM  
mattharvest: Between "Dances with Smurfs" and the Ferngully references, it's all been covered.

There's also been comments that the premise is very similar to Poul Anderson's novel Call Me Joe.

Which is about a wheelchair-bound human, who uses a form of telepathy to control a genetically-engineered creature to explore hostile planets, and eventually goes native.

 
Mr. Slippyfist 2009-11-19 02:57:12 PM  
Isn't this movie all about advancing the visual aspects of movies, and to revolutionize the way 3D is used? Those are the reasons I have been excited about seeing this movie, and that was way before I saw any trailer or plot summary.

 
solcofn [TotalFark] 2009-11-19 02:58:52 PM  
i2.photobucket.com

 
Umokay 2009-11-19 02:59:11 PM  
I'll never forget the thrill, sadness, surprise and the sickness I had as a child when I found out what "The Departure of Boromir" meant.

thank god for thoughtful writers who don't give shiat away in chapter (or soundtrack) titles.

 
Blasphemous Knave 2009-11-19 02:59:23 PM  
A very well done retread could be interesting but as this article and so many others have pointed out: Ferngully and Pocahontas have already done this.

What is Cameron getting at? How is it his "vision" is so important to him, yet so cliche?

 
Handsome B. Wonderful 2009-11-19 03:01:19 PM  
Aarontology: If you couldn't tell what the major plot points, conflicts, and ending would be from the trailers premise, you are a goddamn moron.

FTFY

 
WFern 2009-11-19 03:04:45 PM  
Aside from looking like a ripoff of Dances With Wolves, the CGI frankly looks like crap. I really don't understand why they had to computer generate blue-skinned, pointy eared people.

Why couldn't makeup and prosthetics suffice like in every other film with elves?

 
jermadem 2009-11-19 03:07:46 PM  
i recall other soundtracks doing this. The Abyss comes to mind, but I know there are better examples.

1. Main Title
2. Search the Montana
3. Crane
4. Manta Ship
5. Pseudopod
6. Fight
7. Sub Battle
8. Lindsey Drowns
9. Resurrection

10. Bud's Big Dive
11. Bud on the Ledge
12. Back on the Air
13. Finale

 
Gangway Fathead 2009-11-19 03:09:21 PM  
When has the plot of a James Cameron movie NOT been obvious from the trailer? The guy's a master film maker. If this movie doesn't transcend the level of other films with similar storylines and themes, I'll be surprised. Maybe he's lost it since the last time he directed, but I doubt it.

I believe he'll find a way to make this work.

 
BalugaJoe [TotalFark] 2009-11-19 03:10:41 PM  
James Cameron is completely bonkers.

 
Blasphemous Knave 2009-11-19 03:11:57 PM  
Gangway Fathead: When has the plot of a James Cameron movie NOT been obvious from the trailer? The guy's a master film maker. If this movie doesn't transcend the level of other films with similar storylines and themes, I'll be surprised. Maybe he's lost it since the last time he directed, but I doubt it.

I believe he'll find a way to make this work.


I'm guessing the "twist," such as it may be, consists entirely of the Na'avi (spell?) and their sympathizers being obliterated, along with all of Pandora's natural beauty in the name of strip-mining magic oil for human consumption.

Who's the real savage, now?

 
gshepnyc 2009-11-19 03:15:11 PM  
Every trailer or commercial I see for Avatar makes me want to see it less. I'm almost to the point where I wish I could negatively see it and thereby remove one person who does see it from the set of people who have.

That said, as a long time fan of soundtracks, why don't they title the tracks something other than what the composer and music supervisor call them in house? A lot of soundtracks reveal plot points.

 
daysofinspiration 2009-11-19 03:19:32 PM  
I think the soundtrack I'll always remember for giving away a massive spoiler is Episode I's, which titles one of the songs "Qui-Gon's Noble End." I remember not knowing anything about the movie other than a few articles here and there in magazines and thinking that Qui-Gon was going to the bad-ass Jedi that fought alongside Obi-Wan. However, the soundtrack that came out nearly a month before the movie proved me wrong.

Of course, the novelization came out nearly three months before the movie.

/Don't mind a few little spoilers
//Don't get your hopes up for the next six years of lame prequels would have been an acceptable spoiler

 
HeathSteele 2009-11-19 03:19:52 PM  
DjangoStonereaver: The more I hear about this movie, the more I am convinced it will be a
HEAVEN'S GATE level flop.


This. There's no way this movie makes its money back.

 
beerdini 2009-11-19 03:20:01 PM  
It is kind of like the MPAA warning when The Aviator came out. On the trailer the warning has "Rated PG-13 for thematic elements, sexual content, nudity, language and a crash sequence."

Now I haven't seen this movie, but I guess the crash sequence was a key plot device. These descriptive warnings or soundtrack tracks are insulting, especially when they give away parts of the story. Is there really someone that decided not to take their kid to The Aviator, knowing what a PG-13 movie contains, because of a crash sequence.

It is like Watchmen. "Rated R for strong graphic violence, sexuality, nudity and language." First alarm should be "Rated R" but I don't know how many kids under 12 I saw in the theater because it was a comic book movie. When Dr. Manhattan started floating around there was an exodus to the exits.

The movies have been around long enough that people know what the rating system means. I just wish movie theaters could enforce the age limits on movies to prevent parents from bringing younger kids to movies like The Dark Knight and having to listen to them explain Joker's pencil disappearing trick to their kid instead of being able to watch a movie.

Sorry to get off topic, but point is...stupid to do this with the soundtrack, but its been done before, and its been done in different ways.

 
Weisenheimer 2009-11-19 03:21:56 PM  
Aarontology: If you couldn't tell what the major plot points, conflicts, and ending would be from the trailers, you are a goddamn moron.

So much this.

Which is why I quoted it.

And said 'this.'

 
popfreak 2009-11-19 03:23:27 PM  
The trailer gives the entire movie away even more than most trailers do these days (and that's saying a lot).

So the Sam Huntington guy goes into the blue skinned people with his avatar, flips sides and decides to help them fight the big bad humans from taking their land, and presumably, wins in the end. Yawn.

The CGI looked impressive in some scenes, in others a joke (the blue skinned people). Other than being a movie to show off what your BluRay player can do when it eventually hits DVD, I don't think this will be very entertaining.

 
MickCollins 2009-11-19 03:26:09 PM  
From "A Man Called Horse" to "Dances with Wolves" to "A Man Called Blue Kitty Dances with Pussies".

 
Ashtrey 2009-11-19 03:27:52 PM  
beerdini: It is kind of like the MPAA warning when The Aviator came out. On the trailer the warning has "Rated PG-13 for thematic elements, sexual content, nudity, language and a crash sequence."

Now I haven't seen this movie, but I guess the crash sequence was a key plot device.


Meh, he was in a lot of planes in that movie. It wasn't like you saw him getting in a plane one time and thought "Well here comes that crash".

 
apeiron242 2009-11-19 03:31:11 PM  
So?

 
zarberg 2009-11-19 03:31:58 PM  
Kinda reminds me of Phantom Menace, where the soundtrack came out a full week before the movie, and one of the track names on the sound track is "Qui Gon's Noble Death."

Sometimes I hate people.

 
Reverend Otis 2009-11-19 03:31:58 PM  
There was an extended commercial last night on the Daily Show. I had absolutely no interest in seeing the movie after watching it. It just didn't grab me.

 
davezog 2009-11-19 03:41:33 PM  
Ashtrey: beerdini: It is kind of like the MPAA warning when The Aviator came out. On the trailer the warning has "Rated PG-13 for thematic elements, sexual content, nudity, language and a crash sequence."

Now I haven't seen this movie, but I guess the crash sequence was a key plot device.

Meh, he was in a lot of planes in that movie. It wasn't like you saw him getting in a plane one time and thought "Well here comes that crash".


Also, it's based on facts. Howard Hughes did crash his plane. If there was a warning attached to Titanic that said "boat sinking sequence", I'm not sure that really counts as a spoiler.

 
albo [TotalFark] 2009-11-19 03:42:28 PM  
HeathSteele: This. There's no way this movie makes its money back.

yeah, right. because the internet geeks who are complaining will only see it two or three times, not six times.

those who are complaining about it now are less than 1 percent of the audience that will say "cool, i'm going to see it." plus the international audience will go nuts for it, and they make more money for the pic than the domestic audience.

it will make huge bucks, believe me

 
StinkyFiddlewinks 2009-11-19 03:44:02 PM  
Duh.

 
Ponzholio 2009-11-19 03:44:02 PM  
I thought the soundtrack to Teen Anal Sluts 14 gave away the plot too...

 
daysofinspiration 2009-11-19 03:44:17 PM  
Rumor has it that on the set of Titanic, James Cameron would shiat in the shower and heel it down the drain to save time.

 
Landfill 2009-11-19 03:45:15 PM  
blog.littleoldone.com

 
zarberg 2009-11-19 03:45:43 PM  
daysofinspiration: Rumor has it that on the set of Titanic, James Cameron would shiat in the shower and heel it down the drain to save time.

While furiously masturbating to mental images of heeling Kenneth Turan down the drain.

 
TheHopeDiamond [TotalFark] 2009-11-19 03:47:56 PM  
Hahaha that's great :D That's why I use bizarre titles for my movie ditties.

 
KingKauff 2009-11-19 03:49:03 PM  
Meh. I'm more excited about seeing Planet 51

 
Wollffeey 2009-11-19 03:49:40 PM  
popfreak: Other than being a movie to show off what your BluRay player can do when it eventually hits DVD, I don't think this will be very entertaining.

I think the purpose Cameron had in mind was to show off how good digital 3D looks in an IMAX theater.

At least, that's the impression I got from the sneak previews.

/Will be seeing this in IMAX 3D.

 
ladbag 2009-11-19 03:49:54 PM  
Gangway Fathead: When has the plot of a James Cameron movie NOT been obvious from the trailer?
Yeah, I totally guessed the ending of Titanic before seeing the movie.

 
Ponzholio 2009-11-19 03:51:41 PM  
Spoilers?

i635.photobucket.com

 
jj325 [TotalFark] 2009-11-19 03:52:05 PM  
Cameron should have gone with the Aquaman movie and Vincent Chase. Hopefully if he gets a chance to do something after this he'll redeem himself. Aliens is one of the best movies of all time.

 
azamat 2009-11-19 03:52:21 PM  
If there was a warning attached to Titanic that said "boat sinking sequence" I'm not sure that really counts as a spoiler.

and the award for best deadpan rebuttal goes to...

 
Gamer Grrrl 2009-11-19 03:53:18 PM  
Phantom Menace had the same problem:

Star Wars Main Title and The Arrival at Naboo - 2:55
Duel of the Fates - 4:14
Anakin's Theme - 3:05
Jar Jar's Introduction and The Swim to Otoh Gunga - 5:07
The Sith Spacecraft and The Droid Battle - 2:37
The Trip to the Naboo Temple and The Audience with Boss Nass - 4:07
The Arrival at Tatooine and The Flag Parade - 4:04
He Is the Chosen One - 3:53
Anakin Defeats Sebulba - 4:24
Passage Through the Planet Core - 4:40
Watto's Deal and Kids at Play - 4:57
Panaka and the Queen's Protectors - 3:24
Queen Amidala and The Naboo Palace - 4:51
The Droid Invasion and The Appearance of Darth Maul - 5:14
Qui-Gon's Noble End - 3:48
The High Council Meeting and Qui-Gon's Funeral - 3:09

Augie's Great Municipal Band and End Credits - 9:37

Oopsie.

 
Brainwash 2009-11-19 03:53:48 PM  
DjangoStonereaver: The more I hear about this movie, the more I am convinced it will be a
HEAVEN'S GATE level flop.


Sad but true, if it can happen to George Lucas it can happen to anyone.

/RIP JC
//FU GL

 
zunkus 2009-11-19 03:54:08 PM  
Wollffeey: popfreak: Other than being a movie to show off what your BluRay player can do when it eventually hits DVD, I don't think this will be very entertaining.

I think the purpose Cameron had in mind was to show off how good digital 3D looks in an IMAX theater.

At least, that's the impression I got from the sneak previews.

/Will be seeing this in IMAX 3D.


Yep me too. Not because I think the movie looks really interesting, but because I want to have my mind blown by the IMAX 3D while baked out of my mind.

 
zarberg 2009-11-19 03:56:02 PM  
Gamer Grrrl: Phantom Menace had the same problem:

Star Wars Main Title and The Arrival at Naboo - 2:55
Duel of the Fates - 4:14
Anakin's Theme - 3:05
Jar Jar's Introduction and The Swim to Otoh Gunga - 5:07
The Sith Spacecraft and The Droid Battle - 2:37
The Trip to the Naboo Temple and The Audience with Boss Nass - 4:07
The Arrival at Tatooine and The Flag Parade - 4:04
He Is the Chosen One - 3:53
Anakin Defeats Sebulba - 4:24
Passage Through the Planet Core - 4:40
Watto's Deal and Kids at Play - 4:57
Panaka and the Queen's Protectors - 3:24
Queen Amidala and The Naboo Palace - 4:51
The Droid Invasion and The Appearance of Darth Maul - 5:14
Qui-Gon's Noble End - 3:48
The High Council Meeting and Qui-Gon's Funeral - 3:09
Augie's Great Municipal Band and End Credits - 9:37

Oopsie.


Scroll up about 20 posts.

/but hey, great minds think alike!

 
daysofinspiration 2009-11-19 03:59:23 PM  
zarberg: Gamer Grrrl: Phantom Menace had the same problem:

Star Wars Main Title and The Arrival at Naboo - 2:55
Duel of the Fates - 4:14
Anakin's Theme - 3:05
Jar Jar's Introduction and The Swim to Otoh Gunga - 5:07
The Sith Spacecraft and The Droid Battle - 2:37
The Trip to the Naboo Temple and The Audience with Boss Nass - 4:07
The Arrival at Tatooine and The Flag Parade - 4:04
He Is the Chosen One - 3:53
Anakin Defeats Sebulba - 4:24
Passage Through the Planet Core - 4:40
Watto's Deal and Kids at Play - 4:57
Panaka and the Queen's Protectors - 3:24
Queen Amidala and The Naboo Palace - 4:51
The Droid Invasion and The Appearance of Darth Maul - 5:14
Qui-Gon's Noble End - 3:48
The High Council Meeting and Qui-Gon's Funeral - 3:09
Augie's Great Municipal Band and End Credits - 9:37

Oopsie.

Scroll up about 20 posts.

/but hey, great minds think alike!


Actually, scroll up about 8 posts past zarberg's.

 
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