I always wondered why my asparagus farts smelled like super glue.

Fall is Spring in Peru. Please send me all of your asparagus.

/Email in profile.

Bad enough what it does to the flavor of semen. Now when you show up at Thanksgiving dinner with your lips glued together everyone's gonna know what happened that morning.

That's why I always grill it.

Oh, and if this can be synthesized, I'd love to see how it worked on plastic models.

Fluff Girl: Bad enough what it does to the flavor of semen. Now when you show up at Thanksgiving dinner with your lips glued together everyone's gonna know what happened that morning.

swallow faster

Fluff Girl: Bad enough what it does to the flavor of semen. Now when you show up at Thanksgiving dinner with your lips glued together everyone's gonna know what happened that morning.

I predict this thread is going to moistly be about Fluff Girl.

What typo?

I don't eat vegetables because birds poop on them.

Asparagus, asparagus, put it on your table!
Asparagus, asparagus, will make you feel more able!
Asparagus, asparagus, according to Aunt Mabel!

One more reason to hate asparagus: it's covered with beetle egg super glue (msnbc.msn.com)


Yeah, but so is Keef's autographed picture of Obama.

How can you hate asparagus? The veggie is delicious. A little butter and good to go. Man I want some now.

/aspari-guy

Bacon wrapped grilled asparagus is the way to go



/like candy

crab66:

I fail to see what left4dead has to do with this.

Only way I can stomach asparagus is pickled. Now, I don't think I'll even eat it that way anymore.

Y'all can keep your beetle eggs and stinky pee.

Asparagus is god damned delicious, goddammit.

Asparagus grows around here like weeds. Stinky pee beetle eggs are mmm mmm good!

[threadjack] zez, try bacon-wrapped dates in the oven. 300*F, 8-10 min on each side. Like candy. [/threadjack]

EL_FABREZ: Asparagus is god damned delicious, goddammit.

Agreed. Baked in the oven with olive oil and sea salt. Nummers.

CrazyCurt: How can you hate asparagus? The veggie is delicious. A little butter and good to go. Man I want some now.

Some of us grew up a long time ago when the preferred method of cooking asparagus and broccoli was to boil it until it turned grey. Urrrp.
Now that we know better, I could eat both of them all day until my sharts turned green.

Notabunny: Asparagus grows around here like weeds. Stinky pee beetle eggs are mmm mmm good!

[threadjack] zez, try bacon-wrapped dates in the oven. 300*F, 8-10 min on each side. Like candy. [/threadjack]

We'd all love to wrap our dates in bacon (Hell, most Farkers would just settle for the non-bacon-wrapped date). However, I think the oven part is pushing it a little...Might kill her and end up with a Fark headline of your own with that recipe.

I thought that was Hollandaise sauce...

Asparagus - if it's fresh and cooked properly - is awesome and there are bugs on it then that's extra protein.

My pee smells like beetle eggs...

I wrap all my dates in bacon, especially the cute ones.

Shoundsh shticky.

I'm going to market "toxin cleanser" capsules which I will fill with extracts of asparagus and beets. When the idiots who buy them pee, they'll be able to see and smell that toxins are being released from their bodies.

Hollie Maea: I'm going to market "toxin cleanser" capsules which I will fill with extracts of asparagus and beets. When the idiots who buy them pee, they'll be able to see and smell that toxins are being released from their bodies.


Newsletter?

So people pay hundreds of dollars an ounce to eat fish eggs, but beetle eggs are just icky?

Good thing those folks don't eat peanut butter.

Mandapants: So people pay hundreds of dollars an ounce to eat fish eggs, but beetle eggs are just icky?

Good thing those folks don't eat peanut butter.

Or hot dogs.

Mandapants: So people pay hundreds of dollars an ounce to eat fish eggs, but beetle eggs are just icky?

Good thing those folks don't eat peanut butter.

Vertebrate eggs are okay. Invertebrate eggs, on the other hand, are bleh.

... WTF's in peanut butter?

/Can't stand most hot dogs, either. For some reason, overly processed meats make me sick.

Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice, Beetle...

Fluff Girl: Bad enough what it does to the flavor of semen. Now when you show up at Thanksgiving dinner with your lips glued together everyone's gonna know what happened that morning.

I laughed. Welcome to my favorites.