Nobody has ever accused Chicago of being classy.

I went there one time and that was enough to make me realize two things: 1) I need to get the fark out of here, 2) I never want to come back here.

Wooooo!!! SPORTS!

I blame Obama

It's early, but I came for the XXX-Large Steeler lady fan pointing at the camera...

How do you drink antifreeze and not notice?

deadsanta: How do you drink antifreeze and not notice?

It actually tastes sweet, which is why dogs and kids tend to get into it. A lot of producers now add a bittering agent for that reason, but not all of them.

deadsanta: How do you drink antifreeze and not notice?

Ethylene glycol is the ingredient that makes antifreeze tasty. Though colorless and odorless, the syrupy alcohol derivative-which is excellent at lowering the freezing points of vital engine fluids-has a sweet taste that jibes well with soda, juice, and other sugary beverages. As many concerned pet owners and parents are well aware, dogs, cats, and kids are prone to lap up puddles of antifreeze left on garage floors. Every year, 90,000 animals and 4,000 children ingest the toxic liquid; if not treated immediately, the consequences of the poisoning can include renal or cardiovascular failure, brain damage, and death.

deadsanta: How do you drink antifreeze and not notice?

Antifreeze is one of the many reasons they used to put Mr. Yuck stickers on everything. Just because it'll mess you up doesn't mean it's going to taste badly.

You know who else doesn't like a Chicago sports team? (new window)NSFW subtitles


/stretching it
//I know

This is going a little too far. I mean, I could maybe see it if the Steelers had won and the guy was rubbing it in, but they lost. I just don't get it...

The police will find a suspect. They have SCMODS.

Still tasted better than Primanti's.

First of all, that's farked up. I hope the guy ends up okay.

Second of all, who carries antifreeze around with them?

KiwDaWabbit:
Second of all, who carries antifreeze around with them?

At least one Bears fan...

Doesn't surprise me that a Bears fan would do this.

Also wouldn't surprise me if the Steelers fan had been the perpetrator.

Earpj: I mean, I could maybe see it if the Steelers had won and the guy was rubbing it in

Yeah, any jury would let you off in that case.

All in all this guy sounds way too ok with what happened to him. I would be spitting sparks and taking out hits. The bar would have certainly been burned to the ground by now, if it cost me every cent in my bank account to make it happen.

Epsilon: Nobody has ever accused Chicago of being classy.

I went there one time and that was enough to make me realize two things: 1) I need to get the fark out of here, 2) I never want to come back here.

Good riddance. We don't miss you.

Ok, didn't know that antifreeze is actually tasty and deadly, good to know.

KiwDaWabbit: First of all, that's farked up. I hope the guy ends up okay.

Second of all, who carries antifreeze around with them?

I can easily see this in someone's car/truck trunk, then it's just a matter of excusing yourself to go to the bathroom and coming back to the argument with your "peace offering". The really sick thing is that there is no way just one person is responsible, that shiat has to be known by a few folks by now, and not having someone come forward in two months is just farked.

Tommy Moo: if it cost me every cent in my bank account to make it happen.

He's just been to the hospital, so he's probably broke.

Tommy Moo: All in all this guy sounds way too ok with what happened to him. I would be spitting sparks and taking out hits. The bar would have certainly been burned to the ground by now, if it cost me every cent in my bank account to make it happen.

Now tell us about the time you beat up the guy from Cobra Kai.

I've been saying for years that Chicago Bears fans are the least classy fans in the sport. They have perpetual dillusions of grandeur and are always the first ones to pick a fight.

I don't buy it. This reeks of the same sort of thing as poisoned Halloween candy. That sort of thing just doesn't happen. I think there are some facts missing.

So we're supposed to just buy this story because this guy says so?

As a Bears fan who went to the Bears-Steelers game earlier this year, I'm really getting a kick out of these replies.

/the only poison I saw there was Jeff "drunken master" Reed's poisonous kicking

Roar! Get the torches and pitchforks!

Steelers fan get alcohol poisoning, blames a Bear Fan. Stay classy, litigous drunk.

FTFY!

Leaked security camera footage of suspect.

KiwDaWabbit: First of all, that's farked up. I hope the guy ends up okay.

Second of all, who carries antifreeze around with them?


Only type of person I could think of that would do such a thing.

Be nice if you know there were some facts in this story and less "basically, I guess"es.

Toxic grain alcohol? WTF? Everclear isn't toxic unless you drink too much. Alcohol poisoning is just being really really drunk.

Antifreeze, methanol (wood alcohol) or isopropanol (rubbing alcohol), ok, but grain alcohol? They're admitting he might have just been super drunk by putting that in there.

Maybe the Steeler fan was some Absinthe-drinking hipster looking to blame his blindness on something other than his love of the wormwood.

GQueue: grain alcohol?

Depending on the distillation process, grain alcohol may contain significant quantities of methyl alcohol. That's part of the reason that BATFE tries to crack down on moonshiners from time to time- the product could, quite literally, be dangerous.

germ78: Steeler fan was some Absinthe-drinking hipster

Crap, is Absinthe a hipster thing, now? I thought it was a gothy thing. farking hipsters ruin everything.

Steelers fan poisoned, blinded by Bears fans. Stay classy, Chicago Bears fan.

Chicago resident that revels in Bears fan misery. Terrible team. Terrible ownership. Great stadium.

Tat'dGreaser: So we're supposed to just buy this story because this guy says so?

Kinda hard to fake going spontaneously blind and having your heart stop 4 times if you're a healthy young man and the tox screen doesn't bring up anything that would stop your heart.

Unless he had a stroke, but strokes rarely take out eyesight and nothing else.

t3knomanser: I don't buy it. This reeks of the same sort of thing as poisoned Halloween candy. That sort of thing just doesn't happen. I think there are some facts missing.

Normally, I would agree with you, but considering that I've seen drunken sports fans do some pretty stupid things that result in permanent injury...

He was in a hotel bar. Hotel bars normally don't serve absinthe and/or allow you to bring your own booze, and they usually cut you off. I think there are mickey-shenanigans in play, especially considering blindness is the #1 result of anti-freeze swigging.

Oxygen therapy can re-grow your optic nerves? Really?

justtray: I've been saying for years that Chicago Bears fans are the least classy fans in the sport. They have perpetual dillusions of grandeur and are always the first ones to pick a fight.

Obviously, you've never met an Eagles fan.

...or a Jets fan /facepalm

Epsilon: Nobody has ever accused Chicago of being classy.

I went there one time and that was enough to make me realize two things: 1) I need to get the fark out of here, 2) I never want to come back here.

That's funny, most people say the same thing after 3 days in Vegas.

deadsanta:
I can easily see this in someone's car/truck trunk, then it's just a matter of excusing yourself to go to the bathroom and coming back to the argument with your "peace offering". The really sick thing is that there is no way just one person is responsible, that shiat has to be known by a few folks by now, and not having someone come forward in two months is just farked.


Anybody who would come forward would be automatically implicated in the pending lawsuit. Homeboy at the very least is going to get a very large settlement from Hilton, as long as they can 1) prove it wasn't a stroke or something "natural" and 2) have the jury believed he was slipped a mickey at the bar.

Please folks, understand something:

There is a difference between the stereotypical Superfan Chicago sports fan and the more discriminating sports fan. As a member of the latter, we refer to the Superfans as "meatballs."

Symptoms of meatballs:
1. Pronouncing 't' and 'th' sounds as a 'd'
2. Yearning for the glory years of Dick Butkus, while not realizing the fact that Dick played on awful teams.
3. Mistaking determination or heart as a substitute for talent.

It wasn't me I swear

Seems like something that would happen in Philly...

Would you wear a Klan robe to the Apollo theater?

A Hamas T-shirt to the Holocaust museum?

No?

Then what the fark are you doing wearing an opposing team's jersey - and running your mouth on top of it - top a sports bar in Chicago on a game day?

I hope he recovers but the guy is a MAJOR dumb-ass who made his own bed.

KiwDaWabbit: Second of all, who carries antifreeze around with them?

Seriously. And even so, you are not allowed to bring drinks into or out of bars. So unless the Bears fan carries around a flask of anti-freeze all the time just in case, I'm a little suspicious.

I hate Steeler fans as much as the next guy but this is just plain wrong.
Hope he gets his ass handed to him and the victim heals ok.

Oh_Enough_Already: Then what the fark are you doing wearing an opposing team's jersey - and running your mouth on top of it - top a sports bar in Chicago on a game day?

I wore a Seahawks jersey to a Chicago sports bar when the Seahawks were in Chicago to play the Bears back when the Seahawks were actually sort of worth a sh*t. But of course, I'm not a mouthy douchebag, like Steelers fans around the country tend to be (though the only Steelers fan I've met that was actually FROM Pennsylvania was one of the nicer guys I've known).

And the Seahawks got killed. So there was that.

Oh_Enough_Already: Would you wear a Klan robe to the Apollo theater?

A Hamas T-shirt to the Holocaust museum?

No?

Then what the fark are you doing wearing an opposing team's jersey - and running your mouth on top of it - top a sports bar in Chicago on a game day?

I hope he recovers but the guy is a MAJOR dumb-ass who made his own bed.

I know! Dude shouldn't have been dressed so provocatively, I mean, it's like he was asking for it!

Tommy Moo: All in all this guy sounds way too ok with what happened to him. I would be spitting sparks and taking out hits. The bar would have certainly been burned to the ground by now, if it cost me every cent in my bank account to make it happen.

Steeler fans deserve it

Dogfacedgod: Steeler fans deserve it

THIS.

I was watching football at one of those bars that has every single game on and I cheered after a TD scored against the Steelers and some Steelers fan from across the room stood up and said "Fark you, you farking asshole!"

WTF?!?!?!?

This is a kind of "DMZ" sports bar where everybody gets along: Bears fans and Packer fans, Cowboys Fans and Eagles fans, Colts fans and Pats fans, etc, there's never a problem and lo and behold the table full of Steeler fans had a chip on their shoulder and got mouthy.

I fingered my Spyderco Harpy for a moment while smiling at him and decided to let him live as it wasn't worth it getting banned from the bar if I gutted him.