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(io9) Cool Seven great comic book arcs that are too epic for cinema   (io9.com) divider line 153
More: Cool, X-Men, Fantastic Four, war films, G.I. Joe, The Hulk, Avengers, special effects, Independence Day  
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gopher321 [TotalFark] 2009-11-18 12:28:21 AM  
Heh. I read Secret Wars a long time ago. The real origin of Venom, so to speak. But you'd have to be crazy to put it to film; not that it wouldn't be possible, just there's no way it will make a profit.

Oh, and Ultimatum blew.

 
The English Major [TotalFark] 2009-11-18 12:34:24 AM  
gopher321: Heh. I read Secret Wars a long time ago. The real origin of Venom, so to speak. But you'd have to be crazy to put it to film; not that it wouldn't be possible, just there's no way it will make a profit.

Oh, and Ultimatum blew.


I remember when they tried to do that during the Spider-Man cartoon in the 90s. I remember the cartoon jumping the shark at that point.

 
Karl Bacardi [TotalFark] 2009-11-18 01:14:50 AM  
Planet Hulk.

Amazing in print. Probably wouldn't work on screen.

 
RevMercutio [recently expired TotalFark] 2009-11-18 01:33:05 AM  
Anybody who calls Ultimatum "great" is an idiot.

Karl Bacardi: Planet Hulk.

Amazing in print. Probably wouldn't work on screen.


Not as a 2 hour movie, no. Miniseries, perhaps. But it doesn't work as stand-alone so much.

 
Karl Bacardi [TotalFark] 2009-11-18 01:49:43 AM  
Agreed. I have a friend who's a literary manager in Hollywood. When he told me he always identified with the Hulk, I sent him a copy of Planet Hulk.

His summary of the book: "Completely unfilmable."

 
RevMercutio [recently expired TotalFark] 2009-11-18 02:10:08 AM  
Karl Bacardi: Agreed. I have a friend who's a literary manager in Hollywood. When he told me he always identified with the Hulk, I sent him a copy of Planet Hulk.

His summary of the book: "Completely unfilmable."


Animation is the best and almost only choice if you even tried.

 
deadsanta 2009-11-18 02:49:23 AM  
Lord of The Rings, X-Men: Dark Phoenix arc, Batman: Year One, The Hobbit, Watchmen, V for Vendetta, League of Extrao-- Oh shiat.

Yeah pretty much anything can be thrown on screen, who farking cares if it isn't as good, as long as you make your margins.

 
Dumb-Ass-Monkey [TotalFark] 2009-11-18 02:52:16 AM  
They forgot one

Thor, Frog Of Thunder!!!

www.headinjurytheater.com

(God, i loved Simonson's run on Thor...)

 
Aboleth 2009-11-18 02:52:46 AM  
Flex Mentallo wouldn't work because it works exclusively in a comic book medium. The first Animal Man arc wouldn't work as talkies either in this respect.

 
Frank N Stein 2009-11-18 02:53:03 AM  
Clone Saga

 
Braintrust 2009-11-18 02:53:30 AM  
Coming in Feb. 2010: Planet Hulk - From Marvel Animation


http://marvel.com/videos/829.Planet_Hulk_Animated_Trailer

 
LordJiro 2009-11-18 02:59:46 AM  
One More Day.

 
NetKrouse 2009-11-18 03:00:39 AM  
Part of me would love to see a big screen Transmetropolitan, but then the saner part of me knows that I would only be horribly pissed off by the end result. Not to mention I can't think of anyone worthy of playing Spider.

 
Mad_Radhu 2009-11-18 03:06:29 AM  
deadsanta: Lord of The Rings, X-Men: Dark Phoenix arc, Batman: Year One, The Hobbit, Watchmen, V for Vendetta, League of Extrao-- Oh shiat.

Yeah pretty much anything can be thrown on screen, who farking cares if it isn't as good, as long as you make your margins.


I would argue that Batman Begins and The Dark Knight did a great job of putting pieces of Year One and the Long Halloween on the big screen, and generally replicating the gritty crime drama feel of both series. I'd also say that The Lord of the Rings series was also a good cliff's notes version of the books.

The rest of the movies on your list disappointed me to various extents. Especially V for Vendetta, which looked good but really missed the point of the book, especially why it was so important to have Evey become V's successor after the revolution against The Leader has left England in a state of chaos. They even took out V's great speech as he's setting up the dominoes while the final stages of his master plan unfold.

 
texdent [TotalFark] 2009-11-18 03:07:13 AM  
Imagine Crisis on Infinite Earths as a movie. All the backstory would make people's heads explode.

 
MasonL87 2009-11-18 03:12:33 AM  
Braintrust: Coming in Feb. 2010: Planet Hulk - From Marvel Animation


http://marvel.com/videos/829.Planet_Hulk_Animated_Trailer


Well that's interesting

Marvel's DVD animation stuff is usually not as good as the DC stuff, but this looks pretty promising. Never heard of the Hulk talking, at least not normally, but it's probably due to alien tech or whatever. Looks like a fun viewing.

 
Msol [TotalFark] 2009-11-18 03:12:34 AM  
Aboleth: Flex Mentallo wouldn't work because it works exclusively in a comic book medium. The first Animal Man arc wouldn't work as talkies either in this respect.

It's also DEEPLY tied to knowing shiat about comics. Each issue represents a different age of comics (Gold, Silver, etc..) and this is lost on just about everyone. Hell, "Hero of the Beach!" makes no farking sense to the average guy.

 
Tenebreux 2009-11-18 03:14:30 AM  
Dumb-Ass-Monkey: They forgot one

Thor, Frog Of Thunder!!!



(God, i loved Simonson's run on Thor...)


img68.imageshack.us

No Fark comic thread allowed without obligatory Deadpool post.

 
roscotsmalls 2009-11-18 03:17:25 AM  
Not sure if to epic, but a cool film would be the X-Men brood saga from the 80's (the one in space). The one right after that where only Nightcrawler, Storm, Kitty and Collosus try to save Angel from the Morlocks, would make a great film...Quite an un-epic storyline and that's why it would make a cool film...A superhero film, where they mostly don't use their powers....

 
WFern 2009-11-18 03:32:49 AM  
Dumb-Ass-Monkey: They forgot one

Thor, Frog Of Thunder!!!


What... what the fark?

 
WFern 2009-11-18 03:34:18 AM  
roscotsmalls: Not sure if to epic, but a cool film would be the X-Men brood saga from the 80's (the one in space). The one right after that where only Nightcrawler, Storm, Kitty and Collosus try to save Angel from the Morlocks, would make a great film...Quite an un-epic storyline and that's why it would make a cool film...A superhero film, where they mostly don't use their powers....

I would've preferred they do some actual justice to the "cure" arc. X3 had so much potential.

 
Leeroy Jenkinssss 2009-11-18 03:41:03 AM  
they may be working towards it (extremely doubtful) but Frank Miller 4 book arc on the Dark Knight Returns would be epic!!!

 
Fluffball 2009-11-18 03:43:15 AM  
Invincible the first collection would actually work out really well.

And I'm probably among the minority of folks who enjoyed the Clone Saga.

 
Decados [TotalFark] 2009-11-18 03:45:16 AM  
Judas Contract, if for no other reason than Deathstroke bumping uglies with a 15 year old Terra.

 
Nina_Hartley's_Ass 2009-11-18 03:49:05 AM  
Kree-Skrull War.
www.coverbrowser.com
Get off my lawn.

 
Deagan Herumor 2009-11-18 03:49:37 AM  
MasonL87: Braintrust: Coming in Feb. 2010: Planet Hulk - From Marvel Animation


http://marvel.com/videos/829.Planet_Hulk_Animated_Trailer

Well that's interesting

Marvel's DVD animation stuff is usually not as good as the DC stuff, but this looks pretty promising. Never heard of the Hulk talking, at least not normally, but it's probably due to alien tech or whatever. Looks like a fun viewing.


In book I remember it as being he was at that level off pissed off where you're not smashing stuff but instead speaking very quietly and over enunciating every syllable.

/My Weakness Is Strong

 
Aboleth 2009-11-18 03:49:53 AM  
I bet Marvels would work. It doesn't require the audience to know who the supers are, although it would help. All that's required is for them to follow Phil Sheldon's story and empathize with him through his journey. All the big stuff, battles and such, can be seen in multiple scenes, but as far as the story's concerned, it's not primarily about the supers and their fights.

 
Spaced Lion 2009-11-18 03:53:37 AM  
NetKrouse: Not to mention I can't think of anyone worthy of playing Spider.

alertnerd.com

You were saying?

Plus, he'd totally jump at the chance; he loves the series so much that he wrote the foreword for the first trade paperback.

 
IAmSuperBeast 2009-11-18 04:02:42 AM  
AHEM....

img694.imageshack.us

 
AgentOrangeDrink 2009-11-18 04:06:01 AM  
Spaced Lion: NetKrouse: Not to mention I can't think of anyone worthy of playing Spider.



You were saying?

Plus, he'd totally jump at the chance; he loves the series so much that he wrote the foreword for the first trade paperback.


Does he do American accents? Because Spider is a very American character. Also, how about a Scud movie? It'd be so wildly entertaining.

 
God-is-a-Taco 2009-11-18 04:28:12 AM  
img253.imageshack.us

It could be a trilogy worth billions.

 
PDXBishop 2009-11-18 04:45:25 AM  
Deagan Herumor: MasonL87: Braintrust: Coming in Feb. 2010: Planet Hulk - From Marvel Animation


http://marvel.com/videos/829.Planet_Hulk_Animated_Trailer

Well that's interesting

Marvel's DVD animation stuff is usually not as good as the DC stuff, but this looks pretty promising. Never heard of the Hulk talking, at least not normally, but it's probably due to alien tech or whatever. Looks like a fun viewing.

In book I remember it as being he was at that level off pissed off where you're not smashing stuff but instead speaking very quietly and over enunciating every syllable.

/My Weakness Is Strong


You are my new best friend.

/Like a Tom Waits song come to life

 
Ask 2009-11-18 04:46:30 AM  
God-is-a-Taco: It could be a trilogy worth billions.

Global warming staves off alien invaders?

Fund it!

 
Six_By_Nine 2009-11-18 04:54:38 AM  
NetKrouse: Part of me would love to see a big screen Transmetropolitan, but then the saner part of me knows that I would only be horribly pissed off by the end result. Not to mention I can't think of anyone worthy of playing Spider.

I thought an uglied-up Jude Law might have worked.

I've always dreaded who they would get to play the filthy assistants, though.

/List is not complete without Cerebus, though.

 
Six_By_Nine 2009-11-18 05:01:32 AM  
AgentOrangeDrink: Spaced Lion: NetKrouse: Not to mention I can't think of anyone worthy of playing Spider.



You were saying?

Plus, he'd totally jump at the chance; he loves the series so much that he wrote the foreword for the first trade paperback.

Does he do American accents? Because Spider is a very American character. Also, how about a Scud movie? It'd be so wildly entertaining.


Don't get me wrong, I love me some Patrick Stewart, but I can't say he's right for the role. Spider needs someone with crazy eyes and a sinister voice. (The kind of cacklingly evil thing that could shout "MISTER SWEENEY!" and be so entirely intimidating with those two words alone.)

But you're right, a Scud movie would be great.

 
Abstruse [TotalFark] 2009-11-18 05:04:45 AM  
Spaced Lion: You were saying?

He was supposed to voice Spider in a cartoon version, but it didn't pan out.

 
Abstruse [TotalFark] 2009-11-18 05:05:44 AM  
AgentOrangeDrink: Does he do American accents? Because Spider is a very American character.

Get the man who played the original inspiration for the character perfectly on screen already.

 
DOW 2009-11-18 05:08:43 AM  
Cool tag, subby? Really?

/ Granted, Secret Wars would be a rockin' film
// Proof once again that io9 people have never read a comic

 
Mad_Radhu 2009-11-18 05:09:10 AM  
Six_By_Nine:
I've always dreaded who they would get to play the filthy assistants, though.


I actually think Kristen Stewart could pull off Yelena pretty well, which would give the project some mass appeal. Not sure who would work as Channon off the top of my head.

 
Abstruse [TotalFark] 2009-11-18 05:47:32 AM  
Mad_Radhu: Not sure who would work as Channon off the top of my head.

Curvy blonde who's willing to get nekkid and in her mid 20s. Shouldn't be hard to find in LA.

 
bawsoot 2009-11-18 06:04:07 AM  
Anyone remember the old Judge Dredd 'mega-epic' storylines from 2000AD?

The best I remember involved the Judge Death and the Dark Judges turning MegaCity One into Necropolis, and the return of a mysterious stranger from the Cursed Earth who turned out to be Judge Dredd after he'd taken the Long Walk.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Necropolis_%28Judge_Dredd_story%29


Also the one with Chopper the skysurfer in a race from MegaCity One to OzCity.

Must have been nearly 20 years ago.

Either those or the old ABC Warrior/Nemesis/Torquemada story which seemed to run and run.

 
BalugaJoe [TotalFark] 2009-11-18 06:45:16 AM  
I want Zot or Dredstar.

 
deadsanta 2009-11-18 06:51:11 AM  
NetKrouse: Part of me would love to see a big screen Transmetropolitan, but then the saner part of me knows that I would only be horribly pissed off by the end result. Not to mention I can't think of anyone worthy of playing Spider.


Umm, just have Johnny Depp reprise his HST mannerisms from Fear and Loathing, maybe? Since that's ultimately where 90% of Spider's mannerisms were lifted from in the first place.

 
pacmanner 2009-11-18 07:20:41 AM  
i662.photobucket.com

The Great Darkness Saga would do it for me.

 
rogue49 2009-11-18 07:47:40 AM  
another reason why this comic fan doesn't read comics anymore...

one more day was just the straw the broke the camels back.

OH...god forbid your character should progress in age and life.
wouldn't it be nice for Parker to finally get a career in science?

the whole magic thing incorporated into Spiderman is BS.

They took away his brain, all his inventions, etc.
Bring science back into his life, reason to live and more.
Otherwise, he's just the equivalent of a mythological god or faerie.

/and Aunt May, for god sake's let the old woman die already

 
KhamanV 2009-11-18 07:59:50 AM  
rogue49: another reason why this comic fan doesn't read comics anymore...

one more day was just the straw the broke the camels back.

OH...god forbid your character should progress in age and life.
wouldn't it be nice for Parker to finally get a career in science?

/and Aunt May, for god sake's let the old woman die already


Blame. Fanboys.

This doesn't excuse EICs and writers at DC/Marvel, either. A lot of them are jumped-up fanboys with a bumped paygrade.

When fanboys run the ship - and their tastes are dictating storylines, just listen to the whines at the comic forums and at Newsarama and watch what happens months later - you get stagnation. Everyone wants their favorite character to do cool things and tie to this and do that and they want him gritty, no, maybe they want him to be more innocent, no, they liked it better this way, no, maybe that. And it's all gotta tie together! CANON IS GOD.

But most of all, they don't want their favorite character to change. It's the most deadly argument an anti-comics fan can have in their arsenal, about the perception that comics fans are overgrown children. Because a number of fanboys are, they freeze themselves alongside this ideal notion of their favorite character, and god forbid they ever unbox themselves from that near mint 9.8 state.

If Spidey grows up, so do they, their world changes, and they can't. farking. stand it.

THIS IS NOT ALL COMICS FANS. But it's some of them, enough to push the editors around. Everyone else eventually hangs in out of nostalgia, or gives up comics entire, or moves on to different stories entirely, stories with actual change and growth in them.

/have I mentioned I used to work in a comic shop enough lately?
//seriously, the majority of the fans are awesome. It's just that there's that vocal faction that drives public ideas.
///You know. Kind of like teabaggers.

 
Steve Zodiac 2009-11-18 08:06:23 AM  
rogue49: /and Aunt May, for god sake's let the old woman die already

Of old age. The way most people have to deal with their parents/grandparents getting old and passing away. At one time that was one of Spiderman's attraction, that he had to deal with 'real life' as well as the super-hero stuff.

 
OtherLittleGuy 2009-11-18 08:08:07 AM  
RevMercutio: Karl Bacardi: Agreed. I have a friend who's a literary manager in Hollywood. When he told me he always identified with the Hulk, I sent him a copy of Planet Hulk.

His summary of the book: "Completely unfilmable."

Animation is the best and almost only choice if you even tried.


QFT.

 
februarymakeup [TotalFark] 2009-11-18 08:08:51 AM  
IAmSuperBeast: AHEM....

Holy crap I thought I was going to have to go nuclear.

THIS GUYS. THIS ONE. THIS IS THE ONE.

Man, I loved Infinity Gauntlet.

 
Knobbs 2009-11-18 08:15:59 AM  
DC's Legends.

http://images4.wikia.nocookie.net/marvel_dc/images/thumb/a/a1/Legends_1.jpg/394 p x-Legends_1.jpg

 
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