Kermit is not amused.

Also lamenting:

/Hot

Puppet fisting doesn't seem terribly safe, but if you gave the kids latex gloves, I would think it should be okay.

Craig Ferguson will be devastated.

What makes this library think that H1N1 can't spread to books either? I think they should consider getting rid of childrens' books too. They're probably more "germy" than some puppets. Who even plays with puppets and plush toys in a library?

/Worked in a library.

What about hand puppets that have animated adventures?

Hand puppets you can check out for free? Maybe my thought process is twisted from all my time on Fark, but is it going to far to assume someone has ejaculated into one or more of these?

And me. I caught it at a the Dethklok/Mastodon show this weekend. farking coughing my brains out.

"Good Eats" is DOOMED!

Children are nasty little germ carriers regardless of H1N1.

Drubell: What makes this library think that H1N1 can't spread to books either? I think they should consider getting rid of childrens' books too. They're probably more "germy" than some puppets. Who even plays with puppets and plush toys in a library?

/Worked in a library.

Oh, come on. Books are made from space-age germ-resistant plastics, like the pens in banks. You're acting as though they were made out of something porous that would "soak up" germs, like wood or something. Silly.
That aside, libraries are simply outdated. The need they used to fill is now met by the internet. There is absolutely nothing you can see, hear, or do in a library that you can't see, hear, or do better on the internet. Libraries are massive wastes of resources that should be turned into more productive things immediately. There's a library branch near my house that looks like it was transplanted from a third-world country. It would be much better as a strip mall, so maybe we could get some useful stores there. It would be nice if there was a dry cleaner and a pizza place there, because going across the street to the other strip mall is way too tiring.

vabeard: Children are nasty little germ carriers regardless irregardlessly of H1N1.

/pet peeve

untaken_name: Drubell: What makes this library think that H1N1 can't spread to books either? I think they should consider getting rid of childrens' books too. They're probably more "germy" than some puppets. Who even plays with puppets and plush toys in a library?

/Worked in a library.

Oh, come on. Books are made from space-age germ-resistant plastics, like the pens in banks. You're acting as though they were made out of something porous that would "soak up" germs, like wood or something. Silly.
That aside, libraries are simply outdated. The need they used to fill is now met by the internet. There is absolutely nothing you can see, hear, or do in a library that you can't see, hear, or do better on the internet. Libraries are massive wastes of resources that should be turned into more productive things immediately. There's a library branch near my house that looks like it was transplanted from a third-world country. It would be much better as a strip mall, so maybe we could get some useful stores there. It would be nice if there was a dry cleaner and a pizza place there, because going across the street to the other strip mall is way too tiring.

There is something tactile about actually reading a book.

untaken_name: That aside, libraries are simply outdated. The need they used to fill is now met by the internet.

You know what they do on the internet at libraries? Here is how the internet usage is split up (evenly, I believe): sports, myspace, facebook, games, online quizzes and surveys that claim to offer free stuff, and email.

And the people who use the internet at libraries are generally older people or teenagers who need to find ways to waste their time without expanding their minds.

/volunteered at a library in Mississippi
//tried to show an old man how to set up yahoo email account
///failed

/sad

untaken_name: Drubell: What makes this library think that H1N1 can't spread to books either? I think they should consider getting rid of childrens' books too. They're probably more "germy" than some puppets. Who even plays with puppets and plush toys in a library?

/Worked in a library.

Oh, come on. Books are made from space-age germ-resistant plastics, like the pens in banks. You're acting as though they were made out of something porous that would "soak up" germs, like wood or something. Silly.
That aside, libraries are simply outdated. The need they used to fill is now met by the internet. There is absolutely nothing you can see, hear, or do in a library that you can't see, hear, or do better on the internet. Libraries are massive wastes of resources that should be turned into more productive things immediately. There's a library branch near my house that looks like it was transplanted from a third-world country. It would be much better as a strip mall, so maybe we could get some useful stores there. It would be nice if there was a dry cleaner and a pizza place there, because going across the street to the other strip mall is way too tiring.

Eh, 4/10. You really just didnt sell me...

vabeard: There is something tactile about actually reading a book.

No, there isn't. There's no discernible difference between reading a book and reading on a screen. They're the same words. How could there be a difference? There's nothing intoxicating about the smell of an old paperback - the somewhat musty smell of age and hard travel. There's nothing magical about actually having to turn a page, trying to guess what words will come next in the sentence. There's nothing satisfying about reaching that back cover, closing the book and plopping it down on the table with a sharp, satiated thud! There's nothing special about curling up in a chair near a roaring fire, with a nice beer (or beverage of choice) and a good book. Nothing at all. Words are just words, man. Just words.

When you all contract H1N1 and die a horrible death you will thank me!

untaken_name: vabeard: There is something tactile about actually reading a book.

No, there isn't. There's no discernible difference between reading a book and reading on a screen. They're the same words. How could there be a difference? There's nothing intoxicating about the smell of an old paperback - the somewhat musty smell of age and hard travel. There's nothing magical about actually having to turn a page, trying to guess what words will come next in the sentence. There's nothing satisfying about reaching that back cover, closing the book and plopping it down on the table with a sharp, satiated thud! There's nothing special about curling up in a chair near a roaring fire, with a nice beer (or beverage of choice) and a good book. Nothing at all. Words are just words, man. Just words.

Books do not have ads, and they do not have spam. Nor are there any distractions. You sit down with a beer and a book, and you can read until you need to stand up and stretch.

On the computer, you start reading and suddenly see an ad, or get curious about your email account, or become tempted by porn and games.

Cyno01: untaken_name: Drubell: What makes this library think that H1N1 can't spread to books either? I think they should consider getting rid of childrens' books too. They're probably more "germy" than some puppets. Who even plays with puppets and plush toys in a library?

/Worked in a library.

Oh, come on. Books are made from space-age germ-resistant plastics, like the pens in banks. You're acting as though they were made out of something porous that would "soak up" germs, like wood or something. Silly.
That aside, libraries are simply outdated. The need they used to fill is now met by the internet. There is absolutely nothing you can see, hear, or do in a library that you can't see, hear, or do better on the internet. Libraries are massive wastes of resources that should be turned into more productive things immediately. There's a library branch near my house that looks like it was transplanted from a third-world country. It would be much better as a strip mall, so maybe we could get some useful stores there. It would be nice if there was a dry cleaner and a pizza place there, because going across the street to the other strip mall is way too tiring.

Eh, 4/10. You really just didnt sell me...

Seriously - facetiousness doesn't necessarily equal trolling. Only people who have to look up the word "facetious" think it does.
I'm pretty sure my comment that books are made out of germ-resistance plastic *should* have made clear to a thinking individual that I may have been slightly less than serious in my post. Or maybe I just expected too much.

untaken_name: Seriously - facetiousness doesn't necessarily equal trolling. Only people who have to look up the word "facetious" think it does.
I'm pretty sure my comment that books are made out of germ-resistance plastic *should* have made clear to a thinking individual that I may have been slightly less than serious in my post. Or maybe I just expected too much.

Don't forget that there are plenty of idiots on Fark. We don't know if you are being serious and actually believe what you are saying, or if you are just joking around. It's better to be safe than sorry.

So puppets transfer germs more so than the porous paper in books?

agoratrader: So puppets transfer germs more so than the porous paper in books?

I'd assume the cloth is more porous, not to mention warm.

WFern: agoratrader: So puppets transfer germs more so than the porous paper in books?

I'd assume the cloth is more porous, not to mention warm.

You haven't been around me with books.

/er, wait...

It's enough to drive a man to drink.

In space, no one can hear you cough.

You'll get my plush Murloc when you pry it from my cold dead hands.

H1N1 is a serious epidemic ... for me to poop on!

Unavailable for comment.

My daughter's school banned puppets, not because of disease, but because they were causing fights and distractions. Now kids are sneaking them in to play with them. Apparantly puppets are some sort of in thing.

/wtf? when I was in 4-6 grade school we found much better things to do. Kids are weird.

Protect my followers or I shall be arise once again as.......
Banjhulu!!!

So farking tired of hearing the hysteria about a flu that has a death rate of .02% in the US.

Didn't we learn anything from bird flu?

oblig.

untaken_name: vabeard: There is something tactile about actually reading a book.

Words are just words, man. Just words.

Frank?

Quaratine Quaratine!