Don't touch the Shaqtus.

I don't blame her, moving to Cleveland would destroy any marriage.

Will she receive half of his Miami Vice royalties?




_{/Not mine.}

Of course she did...now that he's basically made as much as he'll make, she'll gladly take her 50% plus spousal support, child support, their houses and cars, basically leaving Shaq with 5% of what he's worked for.

She'll probably "need" $15,000 a month per child or some ridiculous amount to "sustain her lifestyle". Sorry, but that lifestyle was provided by your husband. You leave your husband, you forfeit the lifestyle. Since when is it some guaranteed right to continue your current lifestyle???

Note to self...never get married while rich, never get rich while married. Divorce before getting rich.

ihatedumbpeople: Note to self...never get married while rich, never get rich while married. Divorce before getting rich.

FTFY

The Great EZE: ihatedumbpeople: Note to self...never get married while rich, never get rich while married. Divorce before getting rich.

FTFY

Good point.

"When you leave a restaurant, they don't owe you a steak"

ihatedumbpeople: Of course she did...now that he's basically made as much as he'll make, she'll gladly take her 50% plus spousal support, child support, their houses and cars, basically leaving Shaq with 5% of what he's worked for.

She'll probably "need" $15,000 a month per child or some ridiculous amount to "sustain her lifestyle". Sorry, but that lifestyle was provided by your husband. You leave your husband, you forfeit the lifestyle. Since when is it some guaranteed right to continue your current lifestyle???

Note to self...never get married while rich, never get rich while married. Divorce before getting rich.


When Michael Crichton was on another divorce (with Anne-Marie Martin), part of her complaint was that he worked all the time.

You farking biatch.....you think he's a workaholic, but then you're more than willing to take his money that he worked for.

I'm definitely getting a pre-nup.

/Not rich.

Shaq's wife files for divorce. He must be shiatting bricks right now

I believe he's Shaq-ing bricks.

The Miami Vice chop is top shelf, son.

182: The Miami Vice chop is top shelf, son.


Thanks....but I can't take credit for it.

ihatedumbpeople: Of course she did...now that he's basically made as much as he'll make, she'll gladly take her 50% plus spousal support, child support, their houses and cars, basically leaving Shaq with 5% of what he's worked for.

She'll probably "need" $15,000 a month per child or some ridiculous amount to "sustain her lifestyle". Sorry, but that lifestyle was provided by your husband. You leave your husband, you forfeit the lifestyle. Since when is it some guaranteed right to continue your current lifestyle???

Note to self...never get married while rich, never get rich while married. Divorce before getting rich.

Other than the fact that Shaq is a notorious adulterer, good point!

The_Sponge: I'm definitely getting a pre-nup.

/Not rich.

Ditto to both.

He is gonna rip her a newer one in court.

This is turrable. Just turrable

Took me a moment, subby. Well done.

And yeah, he probably is shiatting bricks, for real. This is gonna crush him. Unless the judge allows him to post up his wife for the rights to the house.

Shaq Vs. Alimony?

carnifex2005: ihatedumbpeople: Of course she did...now that he's basically made as much as he'll make, she'll gladly take her 50% plus spousal support, child support, their houses and cars, basically leaving Shaq with 5% of what he's worked for.

She'll probably "need" $15,000 a month per child or some ridiculous amount to "sustain her lifestyle". Sorry, but that lifestyle was provided by your husband. You leave your husband, you forfeit the lifestyle. Since when is it some guaranteed right to continue your current lifestyle???

Note to self...never get married while rich, never get rich while married. Divorce before getting rich.

Other than the fact that Shaq is a notorious adulterer, good point!i>

lol, very true. His house in Orlando is immense. Sometimes we would see him working out at his 24 hour fitness gym here and he seemed cool but he is definitely not defying the stereotype that athletes pretty much all cheat on their wives. Hell, I saw Patrick Ewing's old ass at a club and he was trying to pick up chicks.

Some people will do anything to avoid moving to Cleveland.

That's a change, he's usually throwing them.

Is Ben Stein the co-respondent?

carnifex2005: hatedumbpeople: Of course she did...now that he's basically made as much as he'll make, she'll gladly take her 50% plus spousal support, child support, their houses and cars, basically leaving Shaq with 5% of what he's worked for.

She'll probably "need" $15,000 a month per child or some ridiculous amount to "sustain her lifestyle". Sorry, but that lifestyle was provided by your husband. You leave your husband, you forfeit the lifestyle. Since when is it some guaranteed right to continue your current lifestyle???

Note to self...never get married while rich, never get rich while married. Divorce before getting rich.

Other than the fact that Shaq is a notorious adulterer, good point!

I thought both of these were good points until I RTFA.

Apparently he left her 2 years ago, but they got back together for a while to try to work things out.

TurnerBrown: carnifex2005: hatedumbpeople: Of course she did...now that he's basically made as much as he'll make, she'll gladly take her 50% plus spousal support, child support, their houses and cars, basically leaving Shaq with 5% of what he's worked for.

She'll probably "need" $15,000 a month per child or some ridiculous amount to "sustain her lifestyle". Sorry, but that lifestyle was provided by your husband. You leave your husband, you forfeit the lifestyle. Since when is it some guaranteed right to continue your current lifestyle???

Note to self...never get married while rich, never get rich while married. Divorce before getting rich.

Other than the fact that Shaq is a notorious adulterer, good point!

I thought both of these were good points until I RTFA.

Apparently he left her 2 years ago, but they got back together for a while to try to work things out.

Us old-timers call that "Cheaper to keep her."

While I cannot view link from photbucket as its blocked from my work, is that shaqvice picture from this video? Link

ihatedumbpeople: Of course she did...now that he's basically made as much as he'll make, she'll gladly take her 50% plus spousal support, child support, their houses and cars, basically leaving Shaq with 5% of what he's worked for.

She'll probably "need" $15,000 a month per child or some ridiculous amount to "sustain her lifestyle". Sorry, but that lifestyle was provided by your husband. You leave your husband, you forfeit the lifestyle. Since when is it some guaranteed right to continue your current lifestyle???

Note to self...never get married while rich, never get rich while married. Divorce before getting rich.

"never marry" is a lot easier.


/wish I had known this 15 years ago

i believe the correct term is she's shiatting briqs

If you see a big, black guy lying flat on his back, you know that it's gotta be a......

"HUUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRT SHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAQ!!! HURT SHAQ, YEAH!!!"

/Hot and I got nuthin.

Ball of Confusion: Us old-timers call that "Cheaper to keep her."

Nothing makes a man remember how much he still loves his wife like an initial consultation with a divorce attorney. The consultation ends with something like this:

"My rate is $350 an hour. If she doesn't contest, there are no custody issues, and everyone is reasonable about property values, then it should only take about 20-40 hours (that's $7000-$14000) to finalize. Throw in another grand or two for court costs, paralegal time, etc. If she contests, or if there's a dispute about custody or property values, then triple that. If we need to hire an accountant to testify or (god forbid) a psychiatrist to do an evaluation of the family, then you should budget another $5000 or so for their services. I can refer you to good people.

When it's over, in about a year, and if things go well, she'll get half of everything you earned during the marriage (less expenses) plus a substantial alimony depending on how long you were together, and probably primary custody of your kids.

Or you could just buy her a Mercedes and try to make up."

My favourite web forum user name: shaq's lazy eye (new window)

EDDIE... HALF!

Knowing how stressful wedding preparations can be, Shaquille O'Neal, along with several family members and event planner Mindy Weiss, concocted an enchanted setting filled with a multitude of lavender roses for the king of basketball to wed his queen, who was carrying their third child. A man as wealthy in spirit as in monetary gains, Shaq's playful personality was evident during the proceedings when he altered the vows to read "for richer or for richer".


Ahahahahahaha!

Talondel: Ball of Confusion: Us old-timers call that "Cheaper to keep her."

Nothing makes a man remember how much he still loves his wife like an initial consultation with a divorce attorney. The consultation ends with something like this:

"My rate is $350 an hour. If she doesn't contest, there are no custody issues, and everyone is reasonable about property values, then it should only take about 20-40 hours (that's $7000-$14000) to finalize. Throw in another grand or two for court costs, paralegal time, etc. If she contests, or if there's a dispute about custody or property values, then triple that. If we need to hire an accountant to testify or (god forbid) a psychiatrist to do an evaluation of the family, then you should budget another $5000 or so for their services. I can refer you to good people.

When it's over, in about a year, and if things go well, she'll get half of everything you earned during the marriage (less expenses) plus a substantial alimony depending on how long you were together, and probably primary custody of your kids.

Or you could just buy her a Mercedes and try to make up."

Or you can do what this guy did and then sit at home, keep a low profile, drink a beer, watch the television and lightly chuckle at the Scott and Drew Petersons of the world:

Peanut butter is a dairy product

I'm pretty sure Shaq doesn't need a divorce to shiat bricks...

Talondel: Ball of Confusion: Us old-timers call that "Cheaper to keep her."

Nothing makes a man remember how much he still loves his wife like an initial consultation with a divorce attorney. The consultation ends with something like this:

Good points, I have never gotten that far myself. Not saying there havent been some days.....

$15K / mo is fair for the damage he did to that woman's hooha.

semanticantics: $15K / mo is fair for the damage he did to that woman's hooha.

yeah but can she afford to pay him that much?

He's supposed to be hung like a naked ten year old korean boy in a snowstorm.

Didn't Kobe call him micropenis?

Rann Xerox: Or you can do what this guy did and then sit at home, keep a low profile, drink a beer, watch the television and lightly chuckle at the Scott and Drew Petersons of the world:

...Sorry, I don't know who that is. Help me out.

Yeah, it must be hard having your every need provided for. She deserves compensation for all those years of grueling luxury.

/No athlete should ever get married before retirement
//most retire at 40 or earlier, after all

When I divorced my first wife she paid me child support for 11 years. She GAVE me custody of the kids; didn't contest a thing; it was very amicable. Someone figured out it wasn't going to be fun to be a custodial parent of two teenage boys with high IQs. I survived (barely). One's an architect, the others an economist.

Shaq - did you never not hear of no pre-nup? If so, you deserve to lose everything bobo.

Of course I was poor; if I'd been rich it would have turned out more worser.

Electriclectic: Rann Xerox: Or you can do what this guy did and then sit at home, keep a low profile, drink a beer, watch the television and lightly chuckle at the Scott and Drew Petersons of the world:

...Sorry, I don't know who that is. Help me out.

That is Craig Stebic. Back in April 2007, Stebic and his wife, Lisa, were having marital difficulties in Plainfield, Illinois. Mrs. Stebic was trying to get Mr. Stebic evicted from their home and get custody of the children. Next thing you know, she disappeared without a trace.

Mr. Stebic doesn't give interviews and doesn't get in front of the cameras and make himself a celebrity, unlike Drew Peterson did up to his arrest for the murder of one of his third wife.

MonkeyButton: He's supposed to be hung like a naked ten year old korean boy in a snowstorm.

Didn't Kobe call him micropenis?

Apparently he is good enough for Gilbert Arenas' wife.

carnifex2005: Other than the fact that Shaq is a notorious adulterer, good point!

Have you seen his wife? I would cheat on her too, what a dog.

Whenever he's at the line, subby. I'm sure you've seen him shoot free throws.

Another lesson to any man who owns anything or ever plans on making more than $30,000 a year.

Never get married. The ridiculous divorce laws in this country are insanely one-sided. Women have been taught that they have earned and deserve an absurd level of compensation (that they didn't earn) by our ass backwards increasingly feminized culture.

And I don't give a fark if he did cheat on her you trolls... That doesn't entitle her to more than a small % of the money he gave his healthy body and adult life for...

No I don't care if she pooped out a few kids...That's just an insurance policy.

American women are truly a disgraceful, prideless bunch.

/Rant

David Banner: Another lesson to any man who owns anything or ever plans on making more than $30,000 a year.

Never get married. The ridiculous divorce laws in this country are insanely one-sided. Women have been taught that they have earned and deserve an absurd level of compensation (that they didn't earn) by our ass backwards increasingly feminized culture.

I hear Britain is worse in terms of divorce laws, and are much more convoluted and lopsided.

No I don't care if she pooped out a few kids...That's just an insurance policy.
American women are truly a disgraceful, prideless bunch.
/Rant

Kiss my ass.

//happily married
/we're not all nasty screechy selfish harpies

There's a pre-nup

David Banner: Another lesson to any man who owns anything or ever plans on making more than $30,000 a year.

Never get married. The ridiculous divorce laws in this country are insanely one-sided. Women have been taught that they have earned and deserve an absurd level of compensation (that they didn't earn) by our ass backwards increasingly feminized culture.

And I don't give a fark if he did cheat on her you trolls... That doesn't entitle her to more than a small % of the money he gave his healthy body and adult life for...

No I don't care if she pooped out a few kids...That's just an insurance policy.

American women are truly a disgraceful, prideless bunch.

/Rant

Not sure if this is the "David Banner" your name came from........



.......but that was funny as hell when hearing his voice saying it in my head!!