"Crews used four sets of breathing apparatus and two hose reel jets to extinguish the fire."

My god.. FOUR?

//seriously that's some of the most esoteric info imaginable.

How about .. just stepping away from the stove WITH the beer?

They never deliver to the hills. Whole beef halves mmmmmm.

I can see it now -- blow-in-the-tube interlocks for all major household appliances...

As long as grilling while hammered is still OK...

/might do it this evening in fact
//weather WTF? It was 31 degrees when I left for a bike ride yesterday morning and it's 70 degrees as I type this

Next thing you know they're going to ask me to put clothes on.

Bacon is easy, just don't stand so close to the stove.

Grilling is better...

Having something catch on fire because you cooked while drunk? That's ridiculous. The worst I ever came out with was a small cut because of some sloppy ingredient prep.

When I lived with my friends we started naming a DSP (designated sober person) to watch out for us after an incident involving a whole bottle of absolut and a deep fryer.

Drunk farking is worse.

I tried frying bacon while naked once........once!

Apparently here around Berkeley a leading cause for fires is stoned people putting a pizza in the oven and then forgetting about it. Unless you're grilling, cooking should never be undertaken in an very altered state, drunk or otherwise.

The key to good cooking is a well basted chef.

Rumpleforskin: When I lived with my friends we started naming a DSP (designated sober person) to watch out for us after an incident involving a whole bottle of absolut and a deep fryer.

You can deep fry vodka?

MemeSlave: Drunk farking is worse.

No way. Finally seducing that pretty friend of yours after a night of drinking, and then trying to fight through the shame of looking into her disappointed eyes as your whiskey dick fumbles mushily sort-of inside of her is awesome. Almost as good as the awkward conversation the next day where you feel something should be said about the miserable unfuthfilling experience to put it in a positive light... but nothing is forthcoming. You notice this evening that for once you haven't sent her a text/message/email/call, which was pretty routine. And you sit back and frown inwardly at your half-finished bottle of cheap vodka, and raise a glass to the almighty misanthropes of FARK.com because unlike everybody else that has ever loved you, Farkers will forget about how you ruin everything you touch.fark you.

"You should not drink and bake."

\not too obscure

fusillade762: Rumpleforskin: When I lived with my friends we started naming a DSP (designated sober person) to watch out for us after an incident involving a whole bottle of absolut and a deep fryer.

You can deep fry vodka?

You can do it with Coca-Cola, so I see no reason you could not do it with vodka.

CoysOdie: I tried frying bacon while naked once........once!

Best advice my Mom ever gave me, "Never Fry Bacon in the Nude"

Best time to fry bacon naked is when you are drunk.

Till the next day that is.

drah kniht: Best time to fry bacon naked is when you are drunk.

My master heats the bacon grease to the smoke point and then squirts a water pistol into the hot fat so it explodes onto my helpless and waiting groin. If she weren't drunk, how would I get her to treat me so well?

Tirgoviste: MemeSlave: Drunk farking is worse.

No way. Finally seducing that pretty friend of yours after a night of drinking, and then trying to fight through the shame of looking into her disappointed eyes as your whiskey dick fumbles mushily sort-of inside of her is awesome. Almost as good as the awkward conversation the next day where you feel something should be said about the miserable unfuthfilling experience to put it in a positive light... but nothing is forthcoming. You notice this evening that for once you haven't sent her a text/message/email/call, which was pretty routine. And you sit back and frown inwardly at your half-finished bottle of cheap vodka, and raise a glass to the almighty misanthropes of FARK.com because unlike everybody else that has ever loved you, Farkers will forget about how you ruin everything you touch.fark you.

Or as most of us call it--every other Tuesday.

Who would have guessed a limey could pitch? Clearly a swing and miss by Darwin.

oneodd1:

Or as most of us call it--every other Tuesday.

Every other?

Labrat407: CoysOdie: I tried frying bacon while naked once........once!

Best advice my Mom ever gave me, "Never Fry Bacon in the Nude"

THIS.

People dialed 999? I think everyone was drunk.

/me too
//now, that is

Drunk cooking is a bad idea. When I was 21, I decided to make some banquet "fried" chicken in the oven. I got the oven heated up, put the chicken in, and passed out. I woke up hours later coughing like crazy-- my entire house was filled with smoke from burnt chicken. I learned two things from that incident: don't cook food when drunk and test batteries in your smoke alarms.

I had two friends who almost burnt their places down by putting a TV dinner in the oven after coming home from the bar and then falling asleep.

The microwave is the method of choice to heat up food when your drunk. Or hit one of those all night diners for a plate full of greasy food.

I don't understand: Not one American has blamed the cookers for their lack of fire-sensing function. Putting my USA hat on briefly the problem is quite clear to me. Cookers are too cooky... they just go and go and go, even when they get all smokey. It's ridiculously dangerous, eh?

Farking travesty

Approves of you starting house fires while drunk.

Woo hoo. Beer thread.

/reads TFA
//slinks off, embarrassed
///mmmmm, bacon

Stands accused... tried and convicted!

brownbread: I don't understand: Not one American has blamed the cookers for their lack of fire-sensing function. Putting my USA hat on briefly the problem is quite clear to me. Cookers are too cooky... they just go and go and go, even when they get all smokey. It's ridiculously dangerous, eh?

Farking travesty

Slow down there, Champ. You are mocking Americans? I wish I lived somewhere where the government bans anything remotely dangerous.

How long until England will require a Breathalyzer to turn on your stove or grill?

/Seriously.

I'd never cook at all if I took that advice.

"Our advice is to never cook after drinking

Had this been in the Daily Fail, it would have been just another Nanny State joke. But it's in the BBC News, which means this time...they're ACTUALLY SERIOUS. They're telling people in ALL SINCERITY not to drink and cook!

Maybe that Nanny State shiat is really for real.

Meh, I was drunk enough to actually want to eat some hamburger helper once, and set a small fire with a paper towel while I was wiping up the shiat I spilled near the pan. Paper towel touches burner and incinerates.

Aside from that five second fire, I've never had an incident from cooking while drunk.

Gyrfalcon: "Our advice is to never cook after drinking

Had this been in the Daily Fail, it would have been just another Nanny State joke. But it's in the BBC News, which means this time...they're ACTUALLY SERIOUS. They're telling people in ALL SINCERITY not to drink and cook!

Maybe that Nanny State shiat is really for real.

It's a fire officer telling people to be careful. What are the chances of that?

Idiot.

Unless you imagine firemen make laws regarding cooking and drinking. In which case you are beyond stupid.

As the cause of a drunken grease fire, I can relate.

Usually carrying the pan with the fire in it is a bad idea, but drunken panic is a crazy mistress.

My best friend set my kitchen on fire briefly while trying to make a Bloomin' Onion.

/alcohol was involved
//Blazin' Onion FTW

Some Limey tells me I can't grill while sipping my sixth beer of the afternoon?

Why does Britain hate Fourth of July barbecue traditions?!

/oh, right

Tirgoviste: MemeSlave: Drunk farking is worse.

No way. Finally seducing that pretty friend of yours after a night of drinking, and then trying to fight through the shame of looking into her disappointed eyes as your whiskey dick fumbles mushily sort-of inside of her is awesome. Almost as good as the awkward conversation the next day where you feel something should be said about the miserable unfuthfilling experience to put it in a positive light... but nothing is forthcoming. You notice this evening that for once you haven't sent her a text/message/email/call, which was pretty routine. And you sit back and frown inwardly at your half-finished bottle of cheap vodka, and raise a glass to the almighty misanthropes of FARK.com because unlike everybody else that has ever loved you, Farkers will forget about how you ruin everything you touch.fark you.

Does this mean I'm like your stunt dick, or something?

Anytime you want to be embarrased, call me up and I'll get down.

Burchill: Unless you imagine firemen make laws regarding cooking and drinking. In which case you are beyond stupid.

Checking your profile, I see you are from the UK. Which obviously means you are too lame to figure out how to drink and cook safely by yourself without some authority figure explaining it for you.

This is why America is a superpower and you Brits have about 1% of the former glory you once had. Losers.

Gyrfalcon: Burchill: Unless you imagine firemen make laws regarding cooking and drinking. In which case you are beyond stupid.

Checking your profile, I see you are from the UK. Which obviously means you are too lame to figure out how to drink and cook safely by yourself without some authority figure explaining it for you.

This is why America is a superpower and you Brits have about 1% of the former glory you once had. Losers.

It's a fireman.

Kill yourself yank spastic.

LintLicker: How about .. just stepping away from the stove WITH the beer?

I was going to protest this, but I like your idea better.

The chip pan used to be Darwin's cooking instrument of choice. Though chopping up potatoes must be an ordeal in itself for the wasted.

FTA: please prepare a sandwich before you go out or get a takeaway instead."

The latter of which involves driving I'm guessing? Nice advice when you're already hammered.

Or you could phone out.

Oobedoob Scoobi-Doobi Benubi: drah kniht: Best time to fry bacon naked is when you are drunk.

My master heats the bacon grease to the smoke point and then squirts a water pistol into the hot fat so it explodes onto my helpless and waiting groin. If she weren't drunk, how would I get her to treat me so well?

when she hears you call her Master, the Mistress will have even more to heap upon you.

Oh good grief, do I have to do everything around here?

You should not drink and bake (new window)