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(BBC) PSA Put down the beer and step away from the stove   (news.bbc.co.uk) divider line 59
More: PSA, North Wales, smoke inhalation, fire warnings, cooking, fudge, brigades, firefighters  
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59 Comments   (+0 »)


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Somaticasual [TotalFark] 2009-11-08 04:57:36 PM  
"Crews used four sets of breathing apparatus and two hose reel jets to extinguish the fire."

My god.. FOUR?

//seriously that's some of the most esoteric info imaginable.

 
LintLicker 2009-11-08 04:57:49 PM  
How about .. just stepping away from the stove WITH the beer?

 
Fark-N-Noodle 2009-11-08 04:59:56 PM  
They never deliver to the hills. Whole beef halves mmmmmm.

 
plumbicon 2009-11-08 05:02:28 PM  
I can see it now -- blow-in-the-tube interlocks for all major household appliances...

 
just_dis_guy 2009-11-08 05:04:52 PM  
As long as grilling while hammered is still OK...

/might do it this evening in fact
//weather WTF? It was 31 degrees when I left for a bike ride yesterday morning and it's 70 degrees as I type this

 
strathmeyer 2009-11-08 05:06:20 PM  
Next thing you know they're going to ask me to put clothes on.

Bacon is easy, just don't stand so close to the stove.

Grilling is better...

 
adenosine 2009-11-08 05:06:53 PM  
Having something catch on fire because you cooked while drunk? That's ridiculous. The worst I ever came out with was a small cut because of some sloppy ingredient prep.

 
Rumpleforskin 2009-11-08 05:06:59 PM  
When I lived with my friends we started naming a DSP (designated sober person) to watch out for us after an incident involving a whole bottle of absolut and a deep fryer.

 
MemeSlave 2009-11-08 05:07:50 PM  
Drunk farking is worse.

 
CoysOdie 2009-11-08 05:09:36 PM  
I tried frying bacon while naked once........once!

 
theoneontheleft 2009-11-08 05:13:06 PM  
Apparently here around Berkeley a leading cause for fires is stoned people putting a pizza in the oven and then forgetting about it. Unless you're grilling, cooking should never be undertaken in an very altered state, drunk or otherwise.

 
hisphrenic 2009-11-08 05:18:12 PM  
The key to good cooking is a well basted chef.

 
fusillade762 2009-11-08 05:23:14 PM  
Rumpleforskin: When I lived with my friends we started naming a DSP (designated sober person) to watch out for us after an incident involving a whole bottle of absolut and a deep fryer.

You can deep fry vodka?

 
Tirgoviste 2009-11-08 05:24:50 PM  
MemeSlave: Drunk farking is worse.

No way. Finally seducing that pretty friend of yours after a night of drinking, and then trying to fight through the shame of looking into her disappointed eyes as your whiskey dick fumbles mushily sort-of inside of her is awesome. Almost as good as the awkward conversation the next day where you feel something should be said about the miserable unfuthfilling experience to put it in a positive light... but nothing is forthcoming. You notice this evening that for once you haven't sent her a text/message/email/call, which was pretty routine. And you sit back and frown inwardly at your half-finished bottle of cheap vodka, and raise a glass to the almighty misanthropes of FARK.com because unlike everybody else that has ever loved you, Farkers will forget about how you ruin everything you touch.fark you.

 
Labrat407 2009-11-08 05:25:27 PM  
"You should not drink and bake."

\not too obscure

 
SeamusFerrell 2009-11-08 05:27:08 PM  
fusillade762: Rumpleforskin: When I lived with my friends we started naming a DSP (designated sober person) to watch out for us after an incident involving a whole bottle of absolut and a deep fryer.

You can deep fry vodka?


You can do it with Coca-Cola, so I see no reason you could not do it with vodka.

 
Labrat407 2009-11-08 05:33:28 PM  
CoysOdie: I tried frying bacon while naked once........once!

Best advice my Mom ever gave me, "Never Fry Bacon in the Nude"

 
drah kniht 2009-11-08 05:35:46 PM  
Best time to fry bacon naked is when you are drunk.

 
drah kniht 2009-11-08 05:36:53 PM  
Till the next day that is.

 
Oobedoob Scoobi-Doobi Benubi 2009-11-08 05:45:16 PM  
drah kniht: Best time to fry bacon naked is when you are drunk.

My master heats the bacon grease to the smoke point and then squirts a water pistol into the hot fat so it explodes onto my helpless and waiting groin. If she weren't drunk, how would I get her to treat me so well?

 
oneodd1 2009-11-08 05:56:35 PM  
Tirgoviste: MemeSlave: Drunk farking is worse.

No way. Finally seducing that pretty friend of yours after a night of drinking, and then trying to fight through the shame of looking into her disappointed eyes as your whiskey dick fumbles mushily sort-of inside of her is awesome. Almost as good as the awkward conversation the next day where you feel something should be said about the miserable unfuthfilling experience to put it in a positive light... but nothing is forthcoming. You notice this evening that for once you haven't sent her a text/message/email/call, which was pretty routine. And you sit back and frown inwardly at your half-finished bottle of cheap vodka, and raise a glass to the almighty misanthropes of FARK.com because unlike everybody else that has ever loved you, Farkers will forget about how you ruin everything you touch.fark you.


Or as most of us call it--every other Tuesday.

 
numbone 2009-11-08 05:58:36 PM  
Who would have guessed a limey could pitch? Clearly a swing and miss by Darwin.

 
mythias2600 [TotalFark] 2009-11-08 06:05:03 PM  
oneodd1:

Or as most of us call it--every other Tuesday.


Every other?

 
My Baloney Has No First Name 2009-11-08 06:12:31 PM  
Labrat407: CoysOdie: I tried frying bacon while naked once........once!

Best advice my Mom ever gave me, "Never Fry Bacon in the Nude"


THIS.

 
FrancesWhiteFlag 2009-11-08 06:14:13 PM  
People dialed 999? I think everyone was drunk.

/me too
//now, that is

 
mythias2600 [TotalFark] 2009-11-08 06:21:34 PM  
Drunk cooking is a bad idea. When I was 21, I decided to make some banquet "fried" chicken in the oven. I got the oven heated up, put the chicken in, and passed out. I woke up hours later coughing like crazy-- my entire house was filled with smoke from burnt chicken. I learned two things from that incident: don't cook food when drunk and test batteries in your smoke alarms.

 
Bohemian 2009-11-08 06:37:28 PM  
I had two friends who almost burnt their places down by putting a TV dinner in the oven after coming home from the bar and then falling asleep.

The microwave is the method of choice to heat up food when your drunk. Or hit one of those all night diners for a plate full of greasy food.

 
brownbread 2009-11-08 06:40:01 PM  
I don't understand: Not one American has blamed the cookers for their lack of fire-sensing function. Putting my USA hat on briefly the problem is quite clear to me. Cookers are too cooky... they just go and go and go, even when they get all smokey. It's ridiculously dangerous, eh?

Farking travesty

 
thefireandpassion 2009-11-08 06:41:50 PM  
4.bp.blogspot.com

Approves of you starting house fires while drunk.

 
luckyeddie 2009-11-08 06:44:43 PM  
Woo hoo. Beer thread.

/reads TFA
//slinks off, embarrassed
///mmmmm, bacon

 
VictorOfBorge 2009-11-08 06:46:17 PM  
worldculinaryinstitute.com

Stands accused... tried and convicted!

 
SeamusFerrell 2009-11-08 06:49:43 PM  
brownbread: I don't understand: Not one American has blamed the cookers for their lack of fire-sensing function. Putting my USA hat on briefly the problem is quite clear to me. Cookers are too cooky... they just go and go and go, even when they get all smokey. It's ridiculously dangerous, eh?

Farking travesty


Slow down there, Champ. You are mocking Americans? I wish I lived somewhere where the government bans anything remotely dangerous.

 
Shadyman 2009-11-08 06:50:55 PM  
How long until England will require a Breathalyzer to turn on your stove or grill?

/Seriously.

 
Burchill 2009-11-08 06:54:36 PM  
I'd never cook at all if I took that advice.

 
Gyrfalcon 2009-11-08 07:03:31 PM  
"Our advice is to never cook after drinking

Had this been in the Daily Fail, it would have been just another Nanny State joke. But it's in the BBC News, which means this time...they're ACTUALLY SERIOUS. They're telling people in ALL SINCERITY not to drink and cook!

Maybe that Nanny State shiat is really for real.

 
RaptorLC 2009-11-08 07:07:28 PM  
Meh, I was drunk enough to actually want to eat some hamburger helper once, and set a small fire with a paper towel while I was wiping up the shiat I spilled near the pan. Paper towel touches burner and incinerates.

Aside from that five second fire, I've never had an incident from cooking while drunk.

 
Burchill 2009-11-08 07:17:13 PM  
Gyrfalcon: "Our advice is to never cook after drinking

Had this been in the Daily Fail, it would have been just another Nanny State joke. But it's in the BBC News, which means this time...they're ACTUALLY SERIOUS. They're telling people in ALL SINCERITY not to drink and cook!

Maybe that Nanny State shiat is really for real.


It's a fire officer telling people to be careful. What are the chances of that?

Idiot.

 
Burchill 2009-11-08 07:19:34 PM  
Unless you imagine firemen make laws regarding cooking and drinking. In which case you are beyond stupid.

 
DeadintheShadows 2009-11-08 07:32:04 PM  
As the cause of a drunken grease fire, I can relate.

Usually carrying the pan with the fire in it is a bad idea, but drunken panic is a crazy mistress.

 
18DeadMonkeys Radio 2009-11-08 07:36:21 PM  
My best friend set my kitchen on fire briefly while trying to make a Bloomin' Onion.

/alcohol was involved
//Blazin' Onion FTW

 
Ironclad2 2009-11-08 07:45:39 PM  
Some Limey tells me I can't grill while sipping my sixth beer of the afternoon?

Why does Britain hate Fourth of July barbecue traditions?!

/oh, right

 
Whiskey Dickens 2009-11-08 07:46:42 PM  
Tirgoviste: MemeSlave: Drunk farking is worse.

No way. Finally seducing that pretty friend of yours after a night of drinking, and then trying to fight through the shame of looking into her disappointed eyes as your whiskey dick fumbles mushily sort-of inside of her is awesome. Almost as good as the awkward conversation the next day where you feel something should be said about the miserable unfuthfilling experience to put it in a positive light... but nothing is forthcoming. You notice this evening that for once you haven't sent her a text/message/email/call, which was pretty routine. And you sit back and frown inwardly at your half-finished bottle of cheap vodka, and raise a glass to the almighty misanthropes of FARK.com because unlike everybody else that has ever loved you, Farkers will forget about how you ruin everything you touch.fark you.


Does this mean I'm like your stunt dick, or something?

Anytime you want to be embarrased, call me up and I'll get down.

 
Gyrfalcon 2009-11-08 07:51:13 PM  
Burchill: Unless you imagine firemen make laws regarding cooking and drinking. In which case you are beyond stupid.

Checking your profile, I see you are from the UK. Which obviously means you are too lame to figure out how to drink and cook safely by yourself without some authority figure explaining it for you.

This is why America is a superpower and you Brits have about 1% of the former glory you once had. Losers.

 
Burchill 2009-11-08 08:01:14 PM  
Gyrfalcon: Burchill: Unless you imagine firemen make laws regarding cooking and drinking. In which case you are beyond stupid.

Checking your profile, I see you are from the UK. Which obviously means you are too lame to figure out how to drink and cook safely by yourself without some authority figure explaining it for you.

This is why America is a superpower and you Brits have about 1% of the former glory you once had. Losers.


It's a fireman.

Kill yourself yank spastic.

 
EggFool [TotalFark] 2009-11-08 08:16:29 PM  
LintLicker: How about .. just stepping away from the stove WITH the beer?

I was going to protest this, but I like your idea better.

 
trainonthebrain [recently expired TotalFark] 2009-11-08 08:22:20 PM  
The chip pan used to be Darwin's cooking instrument of choice. Though chopping up potatoes must be an ordeal in itself for the wasted.

 
fanbladesaresharp 2009-11-08 08:36:44 PM  
FTA: please prepare a sandwich before you go out or get a takeaway instead."

The latter of which involves driving I'm guessing? Nice advice when you're already hammered.

 
Burchill 2009-11-08 08:37:49 PM  
Or you could phone out.

 
BlowPopGirl 2009-11-08 09:24:16 PM  
Oobedoob Scoobi-Doobi Benubi: drah kniht: Best time to fry bacon naked is when you are drunk.

My master heats the bacon grease to the smoke point and then squirts a water pistol into the hot fat so it explodes onto my helpless and waiting groin. If she weren't drunk, how would I get her to treat me so well?


when she hears you call her Master, the Mistress will have even more to heap upon you.

 
Dubai Vol 2009-11-08 09:44:54 PM  
Oh good grief, do I have to do everything around here?

You should not drink and bake (new window)

 
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