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(Daily Mail) Cool Scientists create mind reading computer which porn beer beer porn beer porn porn   (dailymail.co.uk) divider line 40
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3593 clicks; posted to Geek » on 07 Nov 2009 at 8:32 PM   |  Make this a Fark FavoriteFavorite    |   share: Share on OMGTWITTER WEB2.0share on StumbleUponshare on Facebook  more»   |    Get this fabulous T-Shirt and impress the methane out of your friends! shirt it!

40 Comments   (+0 »)


 
Tr0mBoNe [TotalFark] 2009-11-07 05:51:52 PM  
Neat. These mind controlled computer technologies seem to be maturing nicely. I can't wait for the open source guys to release kernel drivers for EEG systems.

 
yogaFLAME [TotalFark] 2009-11-07 05:58:45 PM  
Cool. But:

According to Dr Gallant, who has yet to publish the results of the experiment

*flail arms* Would it kill the media to report peer-reviewed research? Just sayin'.

 
SwiftFox [TotalFark] 2009-11-07 06:46:12 PM  
yogaFLAME: Cool. But:

According to Dr Gallant, who has yet to publish the results of the experiment

*flail arms* Would it kill the media to report peer-reviewed research? Just sayin'.


Yeah, pre-announcing to the press is the kind of thing I'd expect from Dr. Goofus

 
LaChanz [TotalFark] 2009-11-07 07:35:18 PM  
yogaFLAME: Cool. But:

According to Dr Gallant, who has yet to publish the results of the experiment

*flail arms* Would it kill the media to report peer-reviewed research? Just sayin'.


My computer knew you were going to say that.

 
brainiac-dumdum [TotalFark] 2009-11-07 08:18:15 PM  
porn instead of sex?

 
Hagbardr [TotalFark] 2009-11-07 08:28:54 PM  
It's defective. It's not picking up on my weed and Funyuns signals.

 
Korovyov [TotalFark] 2009-11-07 08:42:08 PM  
brainiac-dumdum: porn instead of sex?

If a computer is involved?

Well, hm, I don't monitor the peripherals market...

 
Obnox [recently expired TotalFark] 2009-11-07 08:44:28 PM  
Even though it's already green, +1 Subby.

 
Con Fabulous 2009-11-07 08:49:23 PM  
According to Dr Gallant, who has yet to publish the results of the experiment, the software was close to the mark.

Put me down for $20 on "No, it wasn't." if he ever publishes. That graphic looks suspiciously like someone blurred the image in photo shop, I can tell from the pixels.

A mind-reading machine that can produce pictures of what a person is seeing or remembering has been developed by scientists.

This just in, a ham sandwich that can satisfy the hunger a person is feeling or remembering has been developed by scientists.

 
t3knomanser 2009-11-07 08:53:45 PM  
Con Fabulous: That graphic looks suspiciously like someone blurred the image in photo shop, I can tell from the pixels.

There has been research on plucking visual data out of people's brains with an fMRI- and the results look nothing like that. I have a feeling that the Daily Fail read the press release and then invented an article to go with it.

 
ZER0T0THEC0RE 2009-11-07 09:03:11 PM  
did storm have telepathic abilities?

 
t3knomanser 2009-11-07 09:04:35 PM  
ZER0T0THEC0RE: did storm have telepathic abilities?

No. But that was probably the first hit on GIS.

 
Daobaz 2009-11-07 09:06:34 PM  
Way to link to a virus, Fark.

That website gives one of those fake virus scanner popups, just an FYI.

 
Tr0mBoNe [TotalFark] 2009-11-07 09:07:47 PM  
Daobaz: Way to link to a virus, Fark.

That website gives one of those fake virus scanner popups, just an FYI.


If you're dumb enough to click one of those you deserve it.

 
Con Fabulous 2009-11-07 09:09:42 PM  
t3knomanser: Con Fabulous: That graphic looks suspiciously like someone blurred the image in photo shop, I can tell from the pixels.

There has been research on plucking visual data out of people's brains with an fMRI- and the results look nothing like that. I have a feeling that the Daily Fail read the press release and then invented an article to go with it.


Psst. Explaining the joke makes it worse.

I bet you're right though, and Daily Mail cooked that up. Or else the research team is taking the Idiocracy approach to PR.

"We're THIS CLOSE to mind reading, we just need to get rid of the blur!"

 
Dear Jerk 2009-11-07 09:10:56 PM  
Here's a bit of trivia that caught my eye today: Pomography is pictures of fruit.

 
drumdaddyjb 2009-11-07 09:11:13 PM  
Subby gets all my internets for the rest of the day.

/I lol'd
//then I read it to my wife
///then lol'd again.

 
t3knomanser 2009-11-07 09:12:50 PM  
Con Fabulous: Explaining the joke makes it worse.

I wasn't explaining the joke. I was pointing out that this technology really does exist, but the Daily Fail's imagination of what it entails is, well, failtastic.

 
bingo the psych-o 2009-11-07 09:15:36 PM  
Yo dawg, I heard you like looking at things so we wired a camera to your brain so you can look at things while you look at things!

 
Fluorescent Testicle [recently expired TotalFark] 2009-11-07 09:18:04 PM  
This might be the first Fark headline that would actually make a good t-shirt.

 
ramen_for_all 2009-11-07 09:29:50 PM  
Dear Jerk: Here's a bit of trivia that caught my eye today: Pomography is pictures of fruit.

dlisted.com

pictures of naughty fruit?

 
Eric The Pilot [TotalFark] 2009-11-07 09:29:56 PM  
Sounds like it was stuck on a loop to 4chan

 
duckpoopy 2009-11-07 09:53:53 PM  
This is BS, most fMRI studies are complete pseudoscience. fMRI images are essentially photoshopped images of noise.

 
carnifex2005 2009-11-07 10:03:26 PM  
I'd hate to have that computer at work. I'd be in HR within the first hour.

 
Con Fabulous 2009-11-07 10:12:19 PM  
t3knomanser: I wasn't explaining the joke. I was pointing out that this technology really does exist, but the Daily Fail's imagination of what it entails is, well, failtastic.

The idea that there are pictures inside your head that are an analog of movie images is itself a joke. You might as well call a helmet with a camcorder duct taped to it a mind reading device. The idea that the technologies that exist are anything like the article's bullshiat is fundamentally flawed (I'm not aiming that at you).

 
t3knomanser 2009-11-07 10:24:59 PM  
Con Fabulous: The idea that there are pictures inside your head that are an analog of movie images is itself a joke.

Well, certainly. But, at the same time, there are distinct neural activation patterns that map to visual inputs. While, at a high level, it's going to vary greatly from person to person, there are a lot of operations the brain does on visual input that are going to be the same from person to person, especially stuff like edge finding.

So, yes, one could, at least in theory, do the fMRI equivalent of Van Eyck phreaking on the human brain.

 
The baby the cats THEN me 2009-11-07 10:59:12 PM  
SwiftFox: yogaFLAME: Cool. But:

According to Dr Gallant, who has yet to publish the results of the experiment

*flail arms* Would it kill the media to report peer-reviewed research? Just sayin'.

Yeah, pre-announcing to the press is the kind of thing I'd expect from Dr. Goofus


I read your comment and my mind-reading computer automatically performed an Amazon.com search for "new keyboard".

 
RockIsDead 2009-11-07 11:33:09 PM  
Soon, just having a mental image of child sexuality will get you arrested.

 
Con Fabulous 2009-11-07 11:39:02 PM  
t3knomanser: Con Fabulous: The idea that there are pictures inside your head that are an analog of movie images is itself a joke.

Well, certainly. But, at the same time, there are distinct neural activation patterns that map to visual inputs. While, at a high level, it's going to vary greatly from person to person, there are a lot of operations the brain does on visual input that are going to be the same from person to person, especially stuff like edge finding. In effect the researchers are working under the assumption that we both agree to be false; that the experience of the subject should *be* the video. This is completely backwards, what we want is to have the video mirror the subject's experience based on their reports.

So, yes, one could, at least in theory, do the fMRI equivalent of Van Eyck phreaking on the human brain.


Right, but we really need to distinguish between visual input and mental imagery. The camcorder hat will give you visual input, and probably better input than a human eye. Now, we can certainly get the fMRI correlates of mental imagery if people are truthful in reporting experience, and do just what you said (although I'm not familiar with Van Eyck phreaking). It sounds like this study does the opposite though, they use such data to compare to a picture and calibrate their software to get greater fidelity between their output and the picture. Any technology that does THAT isn't mind reading, because you've presupposed mind reading in your methods by claiming that what the subject is thinking is the picture you are showing them. If that's the case I don't need a mind reading machine, I need an eye tracker.

 
Iamwrong 2009-11-08 12:48:01 AM  
I agree with ConFab.

Also, though this technology may have some future applications, as of last week the MPAA has ruled that downloading the brainwaves of someone watching a movie is a form of piracy.

 
XMark 2009-11-08 12:49:27 AM  
BULL SH*T.
Maybe the study is real but the article has got to be exagerrating the effectiveness of the mind-reading by several orders of magnitude. No way can we read images anywhere close to that resolution or color accuracy. The last actual study I saw with this kind of experiment could only produce noisy monochromatic icon-sized approximations of high-contrast shapes that the subject was staring intently at.

http://www.newscientist.com/article/dn16267-mindreading-software-could-record- yo ur-dreams.html

That was december last year, so maybe the technology's a BIT better by now, but today's article is just nonsense.

 
FatherDale 2009-11-08 01:00:09 AM  
The article and the "science" may be hogwash, but I still admire Subby's headline.

 
LewDux 2009-11-08 02:18:43 AM  
Whoa, this is heavy

 
Mr. Potatoass 2009-11-08 02:19:06 AM  
FatherDale: The article and the "science" may be hogwash, but I still admire Subby's headline.

Agreed. "Pussy", "Alcohol", "Cocaine", and "18 year old midgets" would have also been acceptable.

 
rat_brain_flies_plane 2009-11-08 03:02:15 AM  
t3knomanser: Con Fabulous: That graphic looks suspiciously like someone blurred the image in photo shop, I can tell from the pixels.

There has been research on plucking visual data out of people's brains with an fMRI- and the results look nothing like that. I have a feeling that the Daily Fail read the press release and then invented an article to go with it.


I didn't read this particular article but I read about this very same program last week...

And while it's interesting it isn't as XOMG WTF sensational as they DM seems to be making it out to be.

My understanding of this is that they have a database of Youtube videos and they show the subjects one of the videos... then they compare the imperfect information they collect from the noggins to the videos in their database.

If indeed the readout they get directly from the subjects is that clear... well... WOW!

But the info seems irrelevant unless you have pre-existing data to match it with....

I guess it will become more defined in the future.

This is a vast improvement over the kitty cat sega vision they were able to retrieve in the 90s.

I've changed my mind... this is kind of a big deal.

 
Doctor Jan Itor 2009-11-08 06:09:41 AM  
I've got on of these machines hooked up to my laptop so I can type by just using my mind. It's a prototype and I don't use it much, but hey for Fark I'll plug it in. One sec....


Bacon butter beer boobies Mr. Spock. Thighs creamed corn sausage Michael Moore fatty fat fat. Halle Berry's boobs Swordfish Michael Bay seasoning. Crotch sniffing dogs policeman fireman YMCA gay dudes washboards penis big penis big throbbing penis abort not gay not gay not gay happy place Tom Cruise Oprah[NO CARRIER}


Whoops, heh, I guess it has some bugs in it still.

 
Russ1642 2009-11-08 12:34:58 PM  
Daobaz: Way to link to a virus, Fark.

That website gives one of those fake virus scanner popups, just an FYI.


Maybe you should upgrade from Netscape 4.

 
smithers85 2009-11-08 02:10:55 PM  
Russ1642: Daobaz: Way to link to a virus, Fark.

That website gives one of those fake virus scanner popups, just an FYI.

Maybe you should upgrade from Netscape 4.


i lol'd

 
GeorgeBurns 2009-11-09 08:59:33 AM  
http://www.cell.com/neuron/fulltext/S0896-6273%2808%2900958-6

Article from 2008 with a lot more detail (new window)

 
Szech 2009-11-10 04:35:07 PM  
pbfcomics.com

I miss you, new PBF comics.

 
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