Truly, an idea whose time has come. It is a hassle, especially when you have a good Thanksgiving day buzz going on.

Maybe, and I know this is an insane request, but maybe you could just... not deep-fry the farking turkey. Clearly a great deal of you Americans are incapable of it, so why do you keep trying!

Deep fried turkey? My arteries are clogging up just thinking about it.

Dennis Haysbert isn't going to be happy about this idea conflicting with his "please try to avoid napalming your house this Thanksgiving" Allstate commercial...

"MERLIN. Ever thus!
I pass and return,
But ye remain ever the same.
I see the weft wax and the pale flame burn;
I hear the dark words and ominous:
But never to me ye turn;
Me ye call not by name."

- 'The Quest of Merlin' by Richard Hovey (1891)

We usually end up doing a ham, but this sounds alright.

Deep fried turkey: Combining the deliciousness of turkey with the awesomenessicity of a styrofoam bait-bucket full of gasoline hucked on a bonfire.
None more better!

/and someone to hold my beer to boot!
//speaks (NOT through a feeding tube) from experience.

#2: "MERLIN. Ever thus!
I pass and return,
But ye remain ever the same.
I see the weft wax and the pale flame burn;
I hear the dark words and ominous:
But never to me ye turn;
Me ye call not by name."

- 'The Quest of Merlin' by Richard Hovey (1891)

there's that damn merlin again... shiat is going down people. Shiat is going down.

actually,deep fried turkey is rather good and if you do it right,you dont have the oil penetrating the bird. got to have the oil at the right temperature of it will soak into the meat.
and im not a fan of day old fried turkey,doesnt taste as good.

SoothinglyDeranged: Clearly a great deal of you Americans are incapable of it, so why do you keep trying!

Actually a very few are incapable, they just happen to make the news.

porterm: im not a fan of day old fried turkey,doesnt taste as good.

It does not lend well to after days specialties like turkey gumbo either.

Link (new window).

AT&T ad- sorry, just had to (pops)

Just thaw one out, toss it in the oven for an hour and it's ready, Sweetbay officials say.

On Wednesday, Butterball sent a text message to its cooking subscriber base saying: "Want 2try something new 4Thnxgiving? Deep fry or grill ur turkey! It opens up oven space & delivers a tender & juicy turkey."

Pre-fried frozen turkeys that you HAVE to put in the oven kinda defeats the purpose. Plus I'm sure plenty of people will still fark up the turkey and over bake it.

Oh, and since this is a turkey thread...

I saw a turkey smoker at Loews/Depot the other day.. convection style, with places for charcoal at the top and bottom.

My guess is that it wouldn't have enough BTU's to keep the smoke hot enough to cook the bird here in Alaska, but you L48's can give it a try.

I'll stick to my uber-BTU deep-fryer for my birds. Never had a problem, and they're always delicious. Especially when you inject a little Stubbs marinade into 'em. Ladies and Gentlemen, he is a cook!

Too many years of bad turkey. There's a reason we only eat the damn things once per year. I much prefer ham and will gladly skip the turkey in order to leave room for dessert.

But I always look forward to the "Redneck Sets Neighborhood on Fire/Ric Romero Discovers the True Meaning of Turducken" Thanksgiving double feature.

/you mean you stuff a chicken into a duck and then stuff that into a turkey?!

SpicyFishTacos: Just thaw one out, toss it in the oven for an hour and it's ready, Sweetbay officials say.

On Wednesday, Butterball sent a text message to its cooking subscriber base saying: "Want 2try something new 4Thnxgiving? Deep fry or grill ur turkey! It opens up oven space & delivers a tender & juicy turkey."

Pre-fried frozen turkeys that you HAVE to put in the oven kinda defeats the purpose. Plus I'm sure plenty of people will still fark up the turkey and over bake it.

Except they are not referring to these turkeys as Butterball would actually prefer you buy their turkeys and then fry them yourself.

When has frozen fried food ever tasted good?

Dare I say that if you haven't conflagrated your house in a fiery glory of peanut oil and Maker's Mark you're unAmerican.

Thermite. Is there anything it can't do?

Link (new window)

I'll be flying 16 hours to spend Thanksgiving with my family, so I'm getting a kick, etc.

/We've never fried a turkey.

Has anyone ever ordered an heirloom breed turkey? They're supposed to taste much better than the standard Butterball ones.

Tried to deep fry a turkey last year, soon as I dropped the turkey in the boiling oil he jumped out and ran away screaming and trailing puddles of burning oil, had to chase him 6 blocks before he finally dropped, it just isn't worth the trouble.

skwerl: Too many years of bad turkey. There's a reason we only eat the damn things once per year. I much prefer ham and will gladly skip the turkey in order to leave room for dessert.

I can't stand the foul fowl either. If I wanted to eat something dry and devoid of flavor, I would prefer to eat cardboard. My Thanksgiving "dinner" consists of mashed potatoes (which I am not overly fond of) and rolls every year. Thanksgiving sucks.

I had fried turkey this thanksgiving (sorry, you guys missed it). It's not that much better, but it's easier to do when camping.

SeamusFerrell: skwerl: Too many years of bad turkey. There's a reason we only eat the damn things once per year. I much prefer ham and will gladly skip the turkey in order to leave room for dessert.

I can't stand the foul fowl either. If I wanted to eat something dry and devoid of flavor, I would prefer to eat cardboard. My Thanksgiving "dinner" consists of mashed potatoes (which I am not overly fond of) and rolls every year. Thanksgiving sucks.

Who cooks? They need a lesson in how to prepare turkey. Shouldn't be either dry or flavorless.

Always have had regular non-Butterball from the oven turkey and stuffing. Mom-prepared, still to this day...she's 76. Always perfect and delicious.

/thanks, Mom!

Nogale: Who cooks? They need a lesson in how to prepare turkey. Shouldn't be either dry or flavorless.

My mother cooks it. She is Irish so it is understandable that she knows nothing about cooking. And I'm not even sure why she makes a big assed deal out of Thanksgiving. Her only relatives that were born in America are her grandchildren.

SeamusFerrell: I can't stand the foul fowl either. If I wanted to eat something dry and devoid of flavor, I would prefer to eat cardboard.

Someone is doing it wrong.

Huskadoodle: SoothinglyDeranged: Clearly a great deal of you Americans are incapable of it, so why do you keep trying!

Actually a very few are incapable, they just happen to make the news.

Word. My next door neighbors have done it and still have an unburnt house. My sister just bought a new "safety type" of turkey fryer and will try it out this Thanksgiving. Wish us luck.

Pribar: Tried to deep fry a turkey last year, soon as I dropped the turkey in the boiling oil he jumped out and ran away screaming and trailing puddles of burning oil, had to chase him 6 blocks before he finally dropped, it just isn't worth the trouble.

THIS.

/Did he catch fire from the propane, too? :)

I love Thanksgiving for the turkey with real turkey gravy. And the pumpkin and sweet potato pies. Mmmm, and the leftovers. I've never had deep fried turkey, but I'd love to try it. I'd celebrate Canadian and American Thanksgiving if I wasn't so damn broke.

/I probably sound fat
//boyfriend is Canadian
///poor bastard thinks turnips are an acceptable side dish

YouPeopleAreCrazy: Someone is doing it wrong.

I have to say, I've had a bunch of different turkey's, made by a variety of people, and they're almost universally flavorless. Especially the white meat- utterly inedible. It's like chicken, except with less flavor.

The only time I've genuinely enjoyed turkey was when it was fried. Given the choice between turkey and ham, it's ham every time.

Or duck. People should do more duck at thanksgiving.

SeamusFerrell: Nogale: Who cooks? They need a lesson in how to prepare turkey. Shouldn't be either dry or flavorless.

My mother cooks it. She is Irish so it is understandable that she knows nothing about cooking. And I'm not even sure why she makes a big assed deal out of Thanksgiving. Her only relatives that were born in America are her grandchildren.

Who do you think were the first people to celebrate Thanksgiving? English immigrants, who probably couldn't cook worth a damn either. Would she be terribly hurt if someone else offered to take over turkey duty? And you can get those pop-up timers that let you know when the bird's done, so it doesn't overcook.

What, no deep fried Tofurkey? (new window)

Huskadoodle: SoothinglyDeranged: Clearly a great deal of you Americans are incapable of it, so why do you keep trying!

Actually a very few are incapable, they just happen to make the news.

Yeah, I know. It wasn't really fair of me to call out the entire country, but I mean really. How hard is it to deep-fry things without burning your house down ffs.

I'm up to 80mg of Lipitor per day. I wonder what dosage I'd need if I were insane enough to try deep fried turkey.

Not that I would; I rather like it the traditional way - boiled, with a side order of kale.

Yum

SeamusFerrell: I can't stand the foul fowl either. If I wanted to eat something dry and devoid of flavor, I would prefer to eat cardboard.

Try soaking it in a brine. It helps with flavor and moisture. While cooking, baste it every forty five minutes or so. Stuffing in the birds cavity is something else you can try.

Turkey is real easy to cook well if your just take a little time for preparation.

Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener: Dennis Haysbert isn't going to be happy about this idea conflicting with his "please try to avoid napalming your house this Thanksgiving" Allstate commercial...

Seriously. Until very recently I worked for an insurance company, and the inevitable house fires were the only reason our office opened the day after Thanksgiving.

Frozen, pre-fried turkey? Seriously? That sounds awful. My family has been frying turkeys for the last 20 or 30 years, we've never had a problem.

That's a lie, one year the propane tank got so cold we lost vapor pressure, but a little hot water fixed that.

For those of you screaming about the frying aspect, it's actually not greasy if you do it right (right temp, don't overcook it) and the meat is a lot better than some of those poor, dried out birds that died swimming in melted butter

On the other hand the cost of peanut oil is getting ridiculous, to the point it might not be worth the expense anymore.

Chariset: But I always look forward to the "Redneck Sets Neighborhood on Fire/Ric Romero Discovers the True Meaning of Turducken" Thanksgiving double feature.

HAHAHAHAHAHA

Good gravy, that made me laugh like hell...


pestluvr: Seriously. Until very recently I worked for an insurance company, and the inevitable house fires were the only reason our office opened the day after Thanksgiving.

Sheesh... I could believe that, believe you me.

We'll probably see at least four or five greenlit articles about these accidents once Thanksgiving Day strikes.

Not 100% sure where I seen it but it was one of those late night shows on a major broadcast network. It was a video of a redneck putting a frozen Turkey into a deep fryer outdoors. Although that's a stupid move, doing it outdoors in the middle of the yard away from your home won't BURN YOUR FARKING HOUSE DOWN!

I can't stand the foul fowl either. If I wanted to eat something dry and devoid of flavor, I would prefer to eat cardboard. My Thanksgiving "dinner" consists of mashed potatoes (which I am not overly fond of) and rolls every year. Thanksgiving sucks.


That's because some one can't freaking cook!

Thanksgiving is one of my favorite days of the year, can't beat the food! A nice, fat, juicy turkey, (you just have to know how to cook it) candied sweet potatoes, ham, and baked beans YUM! And for desert pumpkin pie with lots of whipped cream!

When we lived in Virginia we would go to my Granny's house for Thanks giving and every year their would be not just turkey and ham baked by Granny but a half dozen side dishes prepared by mom and my aunt Dianne. And then desert would be 2 or three pumpkin pies, at least 3 kinds of cake, home made fudge, and Granny's famous nana puddin'!

The feast was then repeated a month later at Christmas. Put on 10 pounds easily. And the fun lasts all day with family coming and going from morning until well after dinner time.

YouPeopleAreCrazy: ak_hepcat: I saw a turkey smoker at Loews/Depot the other day.. convection style, with places for charcoal at the top and bottom.

Orion Cooker. Friend of mine has one. He swears by it.



Personally, I think it uses too much charcoal per cook. I prefer my CharGriller Duo.

I love my CG Duo too but I wish the upper wire rack were more easily removable for large things like Turkeys.

Whatthefark: Try soaking it in a brine. It helps with flavor and moisture. While cooking, baste it every forty five minutes or so. Stuffing in the birds cavity is something else you can try.

That's what I do. Brining it helps a lot. This year it's turkey, oyster dressing, mashies, beans and either pie or cake. Maybe both.

t3knomanser: YouPeopleAreCrazy: Someone is doing it wrong.

I have to say, I've had a bunch of different turkey's, made by a variety of people, and they're almost universally flavorless. Especially the white meat- utterly inedible. It's like chicken, except with less flavor.

The only time I've genuinely enjoyed turkey was when it was fried. Given the choice between turkey and ham, it's ham every time.

Or duck. People should do more duck at thanksgiving.

I've had a lot of bad turkey but it is possible to make it good. Most people just seem to way overcook it, not baste or otherwise season it or stuff it. Some people also have no idea to make good gravy! You don't even have to make the real kind- even the baggy kind would be better than the tasteless fatty stuff that some people make.
I'm not that big of a fan of ham and people seem to often overcook it.

My favorite holiday meal is Christmas when we have prime rib. My dad cooks it (the only good cook i know?) and it is gushing blood, tender, and delicious. ONCE A YEAR.

Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener: HAHAHAHAHAHA

Good gravy, that made me laugh like hell...

*curtsey* It's what I do.

SeamusFerrell

skwerl: Too many years of bad turkey. There's a reason we only eat the damn things once per year. I much prefer ham and will gladly skip the turkey in order to leave room for dessert.

I can't stand the foul fowl either. If I wanted to eat something dry and devoid of flavor, I would prefer to eat cardboard. My Thanksgiving "dinner" consists of mashed potatoes (which I am not overly fond of) and rolls every year. Thanksgiving sucks.

Sad story of too many Americans.

They cook their dinner in a microwave 364 days a year, and then one day a year they dust off a real oven to cook a bird the "old-fashioned way" because it's traditional and then they wonder why it doesn't taste any good. Maybe it's because they don't farking know how to cook, and when they do try to cook they choose a expert project like roasting a 20-pound bird.

Turkey is delicious when prepared well. I'm sorry you haven't had any.

For all you turducken wusses:

Stuffed roast camel (clicky-poppy)