"Shinkage, Jerry!"

(obligatory stiff nipples reference here)

Shrinkage

/durr

What, should I not have rubbed my p33nor against her boobies?

Wow...my hometown making the news. I'm so proud of what bored suburban cops manage to find when they toss cars. An open switchblade in the car is "illegal use" of a weapon?

holy crap

pioneer press is still around?!!?!?!?!

The arresting officer reported that Fujimoto's car looked like an unmarked police car.

To say nothing of looking like an undercover cop when he's dressed in normal clothes.

They can still pretend to be pizza boys who... oh, damn.... don't have any change on them.

Right?

MERLIN. "By the wand in my hand
I command you to show
All the veils may conceal,
That it ails me to know."

- 'The Quest of Merlin' by Richard Hovey (1891)

Nogale: They can still pretend to be pizza boys who... oh, damn.... don't have any change on them.

Right?

You know, the kind that aren't velcro'd together. Because anyone could easily mistake such guys for real cops.

They publish their addresses? Hope they like pizza.

I remember seeing all kinds of shops that sold those fake police lights in China, maybe he just assumed he could do the same here. Although his name looks Japanese and not Chinese and I can't really see that kind of "disrespect for authority" going over big in Japan.

Though I also met a South African kid who refused to believe that we couldn't just bribe cops to get out of traffic offenses. I wish I could be there when he tries that the first time.

nice fake headline stubby. Article nowhere close to the headline.

"Oh no, its the cops.... and a construction worker!"

I'll have to ask the Hot Cops to come up with something more nautically themed....

false impersonation

Is that not as severe as real impersonation?

Aiello was also charged with unlawful use of a weapon, after police reportedly discovered an open switchblade in the car.

Uhm.. that's not "use" of a weapon. If anything, that'd be unlawful storage of a weapon?

I hate cops. Crooked, uneducated morons with chips on their shoulders and overinflated senses of power.

lokidecat: Uhm.. that's not "use" of a weapon. If anything, that'd be unlawful storage of a weapon?

Could be. Depends how Illinois criminal code defines "use". Legal definitions of words are not the same thing as dictionary definitions.

GoddessPrime: Though I also met a South African kid who refused to believe that we couldn't just bribe cops to get out of traffic offenses. I wish I could be there when he tries that the first time.

Yeah, that'd be comedy gold.

YOUR FRIEND: ...eighteen, nineteen, twenty. There you go, man.
COP: Pleasure doing business with you. You wouldn't believe how dense some people are. Anyway, try to keep the speed down--you're pretty drunk to be going as fast as you were.

and done in one

phlegmmo: "Shinkage, Jerry!"

Over in one.

Eye Bleach Here (NSFW) (new window)

Came for male strippers. Leaving extremely disappointed.

DNRTFA, but eagerly gleaned comments for pics of scantily clad hot men.
/crestfallen
//where is Gawdzilla?

alexcassidy: Came for male strippers. Leaving extremely disappointed.

THIS!!!

IDAK: Eye Bleach Here (NSFW) (new window)


Mmmmmm... real women. No plastic or silicone. Their dance moves might be kinda goofy by today's standards but they kept my attention. Gotta love full figured women.

"Buffalo Grove police charge alleged fire"

Alleged fire?

"when pressed, simulated sounds resembling police horns and sirens"

How do you simulate a sound that resembles something else? If it make a sound, then it wasn't simulating a sound.

IDAK: Eye Bleach Here (NSFW) (new window)

That rocked on so many levels!

Why does the article give out the full address of the offender? So we can all go to his apartment and piss on it?

susler: "when pressed, simulated sounds resembling police horns and sirens"

How do you simulate a sound that resembles something else? If it make a sound, then it wasn't simulating a sound.

I think what they mean is what he had wasn't an actual police siren but it sounded enough like one to fool people.

susler: How do you simulate a sound that resembles something else? If it make a sound, then it wasn't simulating a sound.

It's kind of a Zen koan. What is the sound of an imitation of one hand clapping?

Tiberius Gracchus: Wow...my hometown making the news. I'm so proud of what bored suburban cops manage to find when they toss cars. An open switchblade in the car is "illegal use" of a weapon?

It's amusing how these cops do all these things to hide themselves to write traffic tickets and then they are shocked, SHOCKED, that some people pretend to be cops to do their own shake downs.

semiotix: susler: How do you simulate a sound that resembles something else? If it make a sound, then it wasn't simulating a sound.

It's kind of a Zen koan. What is the sound of an imitation of one hand clapping?

... You just blew my mind.

ShavedApe: IDAK: Eye Bleach Here (NSFW) (new window)


Mmmmmm... real women. No plastic or silicone. Their dance moves might be kinda goofy by today's standards but they kept my attention. Gotta love full figured women.

Scarlett Knight was pretty hot, I say.