Depends. Is she hot?

/The girl, not the dead mom.

That's one way to go...I guess.

Well, of course you do that. duh.

This will surely get you a date!

With Bubba, but a date!

Tomb desecration always makes the panties drop.

Cagey B: Tomb desecration always makes the panties drop.

Yeah, you won't believe how many chicks I've scored with since I joined:

Why even bother with the multiple choice joke if you're going to be too lazy to do it right.

It will be his testimony.

Honestly, I'm too lazy to destroy a grave for a date. I'd just go ahead and draw some cartoons doing it on a napkin at some diner then get on with my life.

SoothinglyDeranged: Why even bother with the multiple choice joke if you're going to be too lazy to do it right.

I agree. We should C) Make fun of subby.

By doing it I don't mean desecrating the grave I mean gettin it on Porno style.

Thank god her live mother's grave is safe.

ignite ice: Thank god her live mother's grave is safe.

Not for long....

I'm tired of all these socially awkward jerks trying to claw their way out of the friendzone. How do you NOT pick up the hint that she's not interested when she gives you the "let me show you were my mother is buried" scenario?

The girl's grandmother says it took her five years to pay for Connie's headstone and now she has no idea how she'll afford a replacement.

5 years to save up for a marker? What's the price range on those things?

This is just to difficult to understand.... it is just so ... grave.

SoothinglyDeranged: Why even bother with the multiple choice joke if you're going to be too lazy to do it right.

Let's face it, no one cares what A) and B) would have been anyway.

Unless you want to be really original and make A) and B) worse than C). Do you A) spill millions of tons of toxic chemicals into the river Danube, destroying the ecosystem across thousands of square miles, B) Drop a busload of nuns and explosives out of the back of a transport plane onto an orphanage, or C) Destroy her dead mother's grave with a sledgehammer?

Seems pretty reasonable now, doesn't it?

Wanted for questioning

Did she change her mind afterwards?

Maybe there was a second guy coming to dig up the grave, and this thoughtful gent did not want him to find it.

You... conclusion jumpers.

What's B, subby? "Destroy her not-dead mother's grave with a sledge hammer"?

Destroying a grave is easier than burnin down the trailer park.
Head stones are expensive, but my family has money so my burial wish is to have an oak tree planted over me, that way if I'm worth remembering they will return many times early on to make sure the tree survives long enough to thrive on its own.

The girl should reconsider her hasty decision not to go out with him and apologize for snubbing him. He looks like a real catch.

Just kidding. The girls family should take a sledge hammer to his head. From the pics of the damage, it looks like it was one of those markers that had a photo of the deceased inset into it, and he smashed it. Sort of makes me want to cry.

Yeah. Why?

Let this be a lesson to us all.

Trying to make human contact with others, especially people of the opposite sex, can only lead to heartbreak, grave desecration and imprisonment.

/My little electronic friends that Sid Meier built for me are the only companions I need.

texdent: Wanted for questioning

FOohh..

You touch my mom's headstone, be prepared to have your teeth, spleen, hair, and balls handed to you.

Especially since Mom shares her headstone with my Little Sis.

/She died nine months after Mom
//Still miss her :(

oh, too bad the dead woman had to take the heat for her daugthers choice....... he needs to learn that what she needs is to 'rest in peace'..... what a freak. Maybe he tought the woman adviced her daughter from the grave to ignore his psyco plans for going on a date

SoothinglyDeranged: Why even bother with the multiple choice joke if you're going to be too lazy to do it right.

C) This.

UltimaCS: I'm tired of all these socially awkward jerks trying to claw their way out of the friendzone.

Me too. Can't we have them all chemically castrated at age 17 or something? The criterion could be abnormally high verbal SAT scores.

Maybe the undead mother disapproved.

kydoug: oh, too bad the dead woman had to take the heat for her daugthers choice...

I'm sure she's not too bothered about it.

Note to dumbshiat kid: It can be replaced. Quite easily actually. Can't help you really if the rest of the family kicks you to the farking Moon. Good luck.

GodDAMMIT what a poorly written article.

..a man has confessed to destroying a woman's grave because her daughter refused his advances.

A man confessed to using a sledgehammer to destroy a grave marker in a Fairfield County cemetery.

Steven Locke, 21, admitted to vandalizing the grave of a woman's mother whom he had asked out on a date, police said.

Investigators said he did it after a 17-year-old girl rejected his romantic advances.

Four sentences saying the same thing four ways in a row.
/Department of Redundancy Department

Oh, he's really going to catch the ladies now. Dumbass.

"I'm tired of all these socially awkward jerks trying to claw their way out of the friendzone."

It's much better if a girl puts you in the friendzone, ask out one of her cousins, girlfriends, or best, a frienemy instead. Be sure before you do they haven't all conspired not to date you in advance. In that case, just go elsewhere, you're probably better off.
As for any doofus busting up gravesites, some of us will hunt you down to the ends of the earth. I wouldn't be surprised if some relative or friend of this girl gives him a little visit and some payback if he doesn't leave the area at first opportunity.

Dude, you're using the wrong Peter Gabriel song.

Bloody William: Dude, you're using the wrong Peter Gabriel song.

Nice.

"Excitable boy," they all said.

SoothinglyDeranged: Why even bother with the multiple choice joke if you're going to be too lazy to do it right.

Because the answer is always C!

alexanderplatz: "Excitable boy," they all said.

Awesome ...

Britney Spear's Speculum: The girl's grandmother says it took her five years to pay for Connie's headstone and now she has no idea how she'll afford a replacement.

5 years to save up for a marker? What's the price range on those things?

The loser can work in prison and pay for a new one.

Dude...she's 17. 17. Repeat after me...Jailbait.

//Dumbass, indeed.

That's not my usual tactic, but I'll give it a whirl.

Yes.

not more than twice, the third time was because I was happy when that third girl said yes.

The hammer is my penis

Britney Spear's Speculum: The girl's grandmother says it took her five years to pay for Connie's headstone and now she has no idea how she'll afford a replacement.

5 years to save up for a marker? What's the price range on those things?

She put $10 in a jar every time a celebrity died.