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(Spike) Amusing Seven of music's biggest badasses...that are actually posers   (spike.com) divider line 120
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11975 clicks; posted to Music » on 06 Nov 2009 at 6:56 PM   |  Make this a Fark FavoriteFavorite    |   share: Share on OMGTWITTER WEB2.0share on StumbleUponshare on Facebook  more»   |    Get this fabulous T-Shirt and impress the methane out of your friends! shirt it!

120 Comments   (+0 »)


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Gangway Fathead 2009-11-06 07:01:57 PM  
I think Alex Cox did a very persuasive job of dispelling the "Sid Vicious as badass" myth.

 
Lloyd Braun 2009-11-06 07:02:03 PM  
I actually think Johnny Cash is pretty badass.

 
iron_city_ap 2009-11-06 07:10:05 PM  
I think Danzig got knocked the fark out, then made the walls bleed.

 
E_Henry_Thripshaws_Disease 2009-11-06 07:10:37 PM  
Eric Clapton is the ultimate poseur

 
mfaby 2009-11-06 07:11:14 PM  
Johnny Cash never claimed to be a bad-ass and it's nice to have the writer point that out.

Nugent gets bad-ass cred for what he did to get out of the draft and finally,

Danzig is only 5'3"!?!?!?!
No wonder he has an attitude.

 
Wrong_Intentions 2009-11-06 07:12:00 PM  
I think dying of a heroin overdose while awaiting trial for murder is pretty badass. Stupid, but badass.

/Also, Johnny Cash doesn't need a rap sheet to be a cool, many guy. He just needs to be Johnny Cash.

 
Wrong_Intentions 2009-11-06 07:12:37 PM  
Wrong_Intentions: /Also, Johnny Cash doesn't need a rap sheet to be a cool, manly guy. He just needs to be Johnny Cash.

FTFM

 
Goetz [TotalFark] 2009-11-06 07:13:43 PM  
Lloyd Braun: I actually think Johnny Cash is pretty badass.

FTFY

 
El_Smacko 2009-11-06 07:14:41 PM  
mfaby: Johnny Cash never claimed to be a bad-ass and it's nice to have the writer point that out.

Nugent gets bad-ass cred for what he did to get out of the draft and finally,

Danzig is only 5'3"!?!?!?!
No wonder he has an attitude.


I really don't know much about Brian Danzig, but it sounds like he got sucker punched. No matter how much training you have, it's hard to see a sucker punch coming. And if you can't block it, nothing will stop you from getting knocked out.

Not saying it refutes the article, just thought I'd point that out.

Also, badass or not, I think we all knew Ted Nugent was farking insane way before reading this article.

 
LewDux 2009-11-06 07:14:58 PM  
mfaby: Danzig is only 5'3"!?!?!?!
No wonder he has an attitude.


Short people suck

 
El_Smacko 2009-11-06 07:16:12 PM  
LewDux: mfaby: Danzig is only 5'3"!?!?!?!
No wonder he has an attitude.

Short people suck


Well, they got no reason to live.

 
iron_city_ap 2009-11-06 07:24:54 PM  
El_Smacko:
I really don't know much about Brian Danzig, but it sounds like he got sucker punched.


You don't go toe to toe with a guy, then push him while saying 'fark you, motherfarker' and not expect to get hit or at least swung at.

RIP Brian Danzig

i24.photobucket.com

 
Greta_VanHouten 2009-11-06 07:29:21 PM  
BADASS!

img682.imageshack.us

 
RockIsDead 2009-11-06 07:34:03 PM  
They play music for a living.

 
Jedekai 2009-11-06 07:38:49 PM  
Some personal favorites about Public Enema #2 (because he doesn't deserve to be number 1 at anything):

blogs.houstonpress.com

Mr. Dani Davey Filth. Yes - the man who did for Black Metal what Brian Warner Marilyn Manson did for Industrial.

- He's 5'6". Yes - he's a whopping two inches taller than Danzig. This normally wouldn't be that important except he fired all the members who were taller than 5'11" from the band. That includes the "Midian" lineup of Gian Pyres (who went to play for A Perfect Circle and after that died, Puscifer) and Adrian Erlandsson (who played with Arch Enemy and now is starting a band with his wife).

- He's managed to start (and bankrupt) FOUR different companies: (Full Moon (UK), AbraCadaver (Sony), Tenebrous (UK) and Filthy (Just.... WOW.) Productions (US).

- Although he's largely become the poster boy for "evil" - he went to a parochial school in England and even ::GASP!:: applied for the clergy. That's reeeeeeally evil, there, dude.

- When asked to play at the Hole In The Sky festival in Norway (the annual Woodstock of extreme music - and hosted in Immortal's home of Belsen, Norway) he turned the offer down; because he thought the fans would kill him before he got to the stage.

- Is a certified aromatherapist. Because NOTHING says 'dark, maniacal and evil' like lavender-scented tealights.

- You should know you're not hardcore when The King of All Sellouts (Metallica) is calling you, personally, a sellout.

- He uses auto-tune. In a metal band. In a (supposedly) BLACK METAL BAND. That's a whole new world of FAIL.

But above and beyond all others:

"I was walking down the hall towards the rear stage entrance when this little guy, COVERED in latex, spandex and faux-leather with spikes plows right into me from a side hall and collapses on the ground. I didn't know fark-all who it was, but I helped him up and he says, "Sod. Lost a lens." so we scavenge it and he shakes my hand as I wander back to the entrance. All of a sudden, Sharon comes running down the hall, screaming her head off that the band onstage can't find their singer because he broke his nail on the mic switch and went to reapply it back on! In FORTY years I had NEVER seen a singer leave the stage because he broke a nail - I laughed so hard I nearly shat myself, I did."

~Ozzy Osbourne

 
D_Evans45 2009-11-06 07:39:17 PM  
Damn that Spike website appears to have degraded into a Cracked-like list site with 15 year old humor.

Well, maybe they've always been like that, but damn.

 
ertznay 2009-11-06 07:48:54 PM  
Gene Simmons needs to be on this list, (as does everyone who has ever been a member of KISS), Johnny Cash does not.

 
NorCalLos 2009-11-06 07:51:39 PM  
The Danzig vid was funny. What they arguing about?

/listened quietly/still at work

 
rocinante721 2009-11-06 07:54:07 PM  
Punching a 50 year old out is #1??

 
Boris S. Wort [TotalFark] 2009-11-06 07:54:51 PM  
Let's not forget G.G. Allin... farking pussy never killed himself on stage, like he said he would.

 
chemical_angel [TotalFark] 2009-11-06 07:56:40 PM  
List is awesome ... If you remove Cash. So many others belong on this list, though.

 
DaCricket [TotalFark] 2009-11-06 07:57:17 PM  
I don't care what anyone says, Johnny Cash IS a badass.

 
Precision Boobery 2009-11-06 08:10:41 PM  
img8.imageshack.us

 
dogdaze [TotalFark] 2009-11-06 08:10:47 PM  
Cash doesn't belong there but Danzig is dead on.

/Muuuthaaaa!

 
jdog71 [TotalFark] 2009-11-06 08:15:28 PM  
Hey subby..
i178.photobucket.com

 
chemical_angel [TotalFark] 2009-11-06 08:41:06 PM  
Trent Reznor should be on that list. And that idiot from Motley Crue.

 
HowDareYouCallMeAHoser 2009-11-06 08:50:20 PM  

 
Keywork99 2009-11-06 08:52:04 PM  
That video of Danzig getting knocked the fark out NEVER gets old.

 
Doogie Himmler 2009-11-06 08:57:49 PM  
2.bp.blogspot.com

 
Gangway Fathead 2009-11-06 09:08:57 PM  
chemical_angel: Trent Reznor should be on that list. And that idiot from Motley Crue.

I don't know that they ever claimed to be badasses, but they were genuinely sleazy people.

 
Mugato [TotalFark] 2009-11-06 09:11:40 PM  
I have an ex-girlfriend who gave Danzig a lap dance once. Actually, I don't think that anything to brag about. Forget I said it.

 
Mugato [TotalFark] 2009-11-06 09:20:58 PM  
Shouldn't this entire list be composed of rappers?

 
skippytheferret 2009-11-06 09:24:06 PM  
NorCalLos: The Danzig vid was funny. What they arguing about?

/listened quietly/still at work


Danzing was pissed over the opening act asking to start later and go into the scheduled change over time. There is a longer version of the vid that shows the earlier argument.

 
Third_Uncle_Eno 2009-11-06 09:26:39 PM  
I think that Johnny Rotten [aka John Lydon] should be considered more of a 'badass' than that doucheface Sid Vicious.



/"oh sorry - rude word"

 
doctorwormwood 2009-11-06 09:26:49 PM  
his names Glen Anzalone... Definitley not a sucker punch.. but uhh it is possible to get an ass whuppin and STILL be a bad ass.. in fact I'd venture to say that if you haven't taken at least one ass whuppin.. you don't know what it takes to be tough.. Glennie is still bad ass to me..

I really don't know much about Brian Danzig, but it sounds like he got sucker punched. No matter how much training you have, it's hard to see a sucker punch coming. And if you can't block it, nothing will stop you from getting knocked out.

Not saying it refutes the article, just thought I'd point that out.

Also, badass or not, I think we all knew Ted Nugent was farking insane way before reading this article.

 
skippytheferret 2009-11-06 09:28:46 PM  
Seriously, this list is silly. Most of these guys are just playing a role. If they were genuine badasses they'd have no time to do music. It really can be more than a full time job. And bad asses are too busy being badasses.

Ask G.G. Allin!

An exception...
tattoos-101.tattoofinder.com
I once saw him pull a dude up on the edge of the stage from the floor and hit him so hard he crumbled to the floor for the rest of the gig...The dude was grabbing Hank's foot. Part animal/part machine!

 
doctorwormwood 2009-11-06 09:28:46 PM  
that said.. I don't think I'll be taking notes on what's bad ass from Spike Matenna (new window) magazine.. it's like it's written by a bunch of farkin sissies on the red carpet

 
doctorwormwood 2009-11-06 09:31:44 PM  
and they left out the part where Danzig followed the fat guy home, waited till he fell asleep and creeped into his room wearing Freddie Krueger knives, cut off his face and ate it...

 
CravenMorehead 2009-11-06 09:32:50 PM  
Glenn Danzig? Glenn? No one named Glenn can be a badass.

 
chemical_angel [TotalFark] 2009-11-06 09:37:05 PM  
CravenMorehead: Glenn Danzig? Glenn? No one named Glenn can be a badass.

ORLY?

i297.photobucket.com

 
bionicjoe 2009-11-06 09:58:08 PM  
FTFA
I honestly love Johnny Cash. Putting him on this list actually has little to nothing to do with Cash himself. It's his fans that have created this image of him as being the manliest man in the history of this planet that are really to blame.

So much THIS makes for a great article.

 
FueledByEthanol 2009-11-06 10:01:56 PM  

 
TeddyRooseveltsMustache [TotalFark] 2009-11-06 10:02:13 PM  
Johnny Cash is awesome.

 
bionicjoe 2009-11-06 10:07:11 PM  
mfaby: Danzig is only 5'3"!?!?!?!
No wonder he has an attitude.


Have some friends that met Lemmy from Motorhead in a record shop. They swear he's only 5'1" at best.

 
chemical_angel [TotalFark] 2009-11-06 10:09:39 PM  
bionicjoe: mfaby: Danzig is only 5'3"!?!?!?!
No wonder he has an attitude.

Have some friends that met Lemmy from Motorhead in a record shop. They swear he's only 5'1" at best.


Regardless .. Lemmy IS an actual badass.

 
bionicjoe 2009-11-06 10:10:02 PM  
TeddyRooseveltsMustache: Johnny Cash is awesome.

Yes he is, but not for all the badass crap aging rock fans, trying to look musically verbose for liking a country star, try to puff him up to be.

He's popular for being an irresponsible loser that turned his life around and kept working to be someone better.

 
HowDareYouCallMeAHoser 2009-11-06 10:17:52 PM  

 
LectertheChef 2009-11-06 10:18:46 PM  
FueledByEthanol: Glenn's duet with Shakira (new window)

Shakira's way more badass than Danzig.

 
GreenAdder [TotalFark] 2009-11-06 10:38:24 PM  
I will never get tired of watching Danzig get knocked the fark out by that North Side Kings dude. I find the skank calling NSK guy a "cheap shot motherfarker" hilarious. He got shoved. He hit back. Glenn couldn't hang.

 
phedex 2009-11-06 11:04:21 PM  
HowDareYouCallMeAHoser: Shakira Featuring Danzig "Hips Don't Lie" (new window)

dude, that was so freaking funny. two thumbs up!

 
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