His foot touched the ground.
Doesn't count
Better luck next time

I took a 2 lb dump.

This afternoon I did 89 feet. That's right, b*tches, I walked 89 feet to get some pork rinds.

I taunted the dynamite monkey.

I went full retard.

i didn't put myself in imminent mortal peril. i feel pretty good about that.

I didn't do anything as mindbogglingly stupid as try to do an 88ft front flip on a motorcycle. And I bought a house.

PenguinTheRed: I didn't do anything as mindbogglingly stupid as try to do an 88ft front flip on a motorcycle. And I bought a house.

home was built in a day?

PenguinTheRed: I didn't do anything as mindbogglingly stupid as try to do an 88ft front flip on a motorcycle.

Surfed internet porn at work.

mostly i just sat around monitoring employee web activity and reported ne2d to human resources.

I went to the dingle doctor.

Prepared a couple of tax returns, got thomps report from HR, then fired ne2d

JC

beerrun: I went full retard.

You fool! Never go full retard, never!

beerrun: I took a 2 lb dump.

You have me beat by a good half pound.

What does he win?

Just the way he reacts at the end is so douchey, throwing his bike on the ground, not addressing the people around him, throwing his helmet on the ground. Wow. Congrats big fella.

I donated money to a children's charity.

I went to work, I have a job
/off lawn

Did an easy quick job for more money that it is worth.

Surfed for porn.

Walked the dog in the rain. Watched the river swell.

Turned last night's chicken into a chicken salad for lunch.

More porn.

Landed an 88 foot front flip on my motorcycle

Smoked some pot.

Watched last night's Daily Show on the TiVo.

I think my day is pretty good, thanks. I'm not feeling like the lack of death-defying in my day is a negative thing.

Got call manager to dump email into a domino mailfile.

My life sucks.

I landed an 89 ft front flip. Now what, m.f.'er?!?!

*fap*

Woke up this morning and played some Dragon Age.

Did the dishes and a load of laundry.

Rode my bike to work.

Wrote some code, fixed some bugs.

After work will go hang out with a buddy and see his band perform live.

Get drunk at said show.

Seems pretty good to me!