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(io9) Fail The ten dumbest evil geniuses of all time. List starts off with a crappy chracater that doesn't qualify as the "best" of anything, but it gets better   (io9.com) divider line 161
More: Fail, sing along, Dr. Horrible, Creative Commons License, charlie jane anders, bug, Captain Hammer, glee, FAQ  
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Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener [TotalFark] 2009-11-05 10:53:38 PM  
img5.imageshack.us

Does the list include subby for referencing a "chracater"?

 
ElQue [TotalFark] 2009-11-05 10:56:28 PM  
Consider me infuriated that they included said chracater. Once I find out what a chracater is, anyway.

 
Hender [TotalFark] 2009-11-05 10:57:44 PM  
You do not speak ill of Doctor Horrible or Bad Horse will come for you.

 
The English Major [TotalFark] 2009-11-05 11:01:00 PM  
Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener: Does the list include subby for referencing a "chracater"?

F*CK not again.

 
ElQue [TotalFark] 2009-11-05 11:03:10 PM  
GIS for "chracater"

img3.ak.crunchyroll.com

/i don't get it either.

 
Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener [TotalFark] 2009-11-05 11:06:13 PM  
:-/

Uh-oh.

 
Your Faith is Creepy [TotalFark] 2009-11-05 11:06:44 PM  
what an awful Top 10 list. For starters, it contains 11 entries, not 10 (despite subby linking directly to #2). Then, doesn't anybody remember that Top 10 lists are supposed to count DOWN, not UP? Were you people born in BARNS? Finally, the list is all over the place - you have one honest-to-dog evil genius, e.g. Doctor Doom, at least one evil genius wannabee, referring of course to Dr. Horrible, and then a bunch of badly drawn cartoons that nobody who has made it past 6th grade drama would dignify with the label "chracater".

Rarely is the Is subby blowing a modmin or something?

 
Your Faith is Creepy [TotalFark] 2009-11-05 11:07:31 PM  
aargh, premature submission. That last line should read:

Rarely is question asked: is subby blowing a modmin or something?

 
The English Major [TotalFark] 2009-11-05 11:10:59 PM  
Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener: :-/

Uh-oh.


At least this wasn't a misuse of "their."

Your Faith is Creepy: what an awful Top 10 list. For starters, it contains 11 entries, not 10 (despite subby linking directly to #2).

For some reason, the io9 top ten lists start with a placeholder image of the last one listed and an introductory paragraph. The second page starts the countup/down.

 
Blues_X [TotalFark] 2009-11-05 11:16:46 PM  
Your Faith is Creepy: what an awful Top 10 list. For starters, it contains 11 entries, not 10 (despite subby linking directly to #2). Then, doesn't anybody remember that Top 10 lists are supposed to count DOWN, not UP? Were you people born in BARNS? Finally, the list is all over the place - you have one honest-to-dog evil genius, e.g. Doctor Doom, at least one evil genius wannabee, referring of course to Dr. Horrible, and then a bunch of badly drawn cartoons that nobody who has made it past 6th grade drama would dignify with the label "chracater".



a) Count the villians. See if you get to 11. We'll wait.

b) Regarding the Venture Brothers, you know not of what you speak.

I say good day, sir.


/not subby

 
brigid_fitch [TotalFark] 2009-11-05 11:25:30 PM  
Ringmaster:
upload.wikimedia.org

Rolls into town w/his "Circus of Crime" and gets defeated every. single. issue. Even Howard the Duck defeated him.

 
Mobkey [TotalFark] 2009-11-05 11:40:11 PM  
How is Cartman on this list? He nearly took over the US to win a bet and made Scott Tenorman eat his parents.

 
Karl Bacardi [TotalFark] 2009-11-06 01:50:01 AM  
Finally, a thread where I can gripe about Con*Air. (Yeah, I know it was 12 years ago.) Malkovich's character is supposedly a genius, but he keeps saying the stupidest things.

"And if you say a word about this over the radio, the next wings you see will belong to the flies buzzing over your rotting corpse."

Apparently evil super-geniuses don't get that when your body stops working, it takes vision right along with it.

 
The All-Powerful Atheismo 2009-11-06 02:14:04 AM  
He took 40 cakes. That's as many as four tens. And that's terrible.

 
The All-Powerful Atheismo 2009-11-06 02:15:56 AM  
The English Major: Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener: Does the list include subby for referencing a "chracater"?

F*CK not again.


ಠ_ಠ

 
The_Sponge [TotalFark] 2009-11-06 02:24:37 AM  
My nomination:

i285.photobucket.com

Seriously, dude....just go to KFC and order a bucket of chicken.

 
Karl Bacardi [TotalFark] 2009-11-06 02:28:54 AM  
The_Sponge: My nomination:



Seriously, dude....just go to KFC and order a bucket of chicken.


Yes. That always bothered me as a kid. He can mail-order a fully functional catapult, rocket-sled, and flying Batman costume, but he can't get a can of Spaghetti-Os?

 
Your Faith is Creepy [TotalFark] 2009-11-06 02:33:05 AM  
Blues_X: Your Faith is Creepy: what an awful Top 10 list. For starters, it contains 11 entries, not 10 (despite subby linking directly to #2). Then, doesn't anybody remember that Top 10 lists are supposed to count DOWN, not UP? Were you people born in BARNS? Finally, the list is all over the place - you have one honest-to-dog evil genius, e.g. Doctor Doom, at least one evil genius wannabee, referring of course to Dr. Horrible, and then a bunch of badly drawn cartoons that nobody who has made it past 6th grade drama would dignify with the label "chracater".



a) Count the villians. See if you get to 11. We'll wait.

b) Regarding the Venture Brothers, you know not of what you speak.

I say good day, sir.


/not subby


a) You might note that I said 11 "entries", not 11 "villains". Look at the page, there they are, numbered 1 to 11. I didn't read deeply enough to form a theory about why the author included Victor Von Doom twice - maybe he likes DOOM? The point is, a Top 10 List shouldn't have 11 entries, no matter how the stupid website does it. It's just gauche (and bad programming).

b) I must acknowledge that you are correct on this point. I humbly submit to your superior knowledge until such time as I become educated in this regard.

And good day to you too.

 
Mr. Chainsaw 2009-11-06 02:52:01 AM  
Came for The Monarch, leaving satisfied.

 
Baldanders 2009-11-06 03:00:08 AM  
Karl Bacardi: The_Sponge: My nomination:



Seriously, dude....just go to KFC and order a bucket of chicken.

Yes. That always bothered me as a kid. He can mail-order a fully functional catapult, rocket-sled, and flying Batman costume, but he can't get a can of Spaghetti-Os?


It's off topic, but the cartoon question that always bugged me the most was this: how did the Scooby Doo gang finance their adventures? As far as I can tell, they just drive around solving mysteries, and do so for years at a time. And it's not like they're (usually) brought in to solve the mystery, they just sort of stumble upon it. I guess it's possible the people they help throw them a bone. You'd have to be a pretty big dick not to reward the kids that saved your ice cream factory from your evil half-brother.

Also, how did they get that van to Hawaii? Or Scotland? I distinctly remember them driving the Mystery Machine through the Scottish moors.

Anyway, every Scooby Doo villain should qualify for this list. They're all apparently special effects geniuses, employing everything from animatronic suits to friggin' holographic projectors that'd make Mysterio (him too, on the list) jealous, but they're defeated by a stoner, a closeted gay, and two chicks with a serious learning disability and asperger's syndrome, respectively.

Also, the dog can't actually talk; they're all on drugs, all the time.

 
partridgestorm 2009-11-06 03:04:18 AM  
Are you kidding me? This is the third time I've seen you fark up a headline in recent memory. You should take a hiatus from being a submitter The English Major. Or at least stop fessing up to it.

 
WFern 2009-11-06 03:05:24 AM  
I

 
WFern 2009-11-06 03:06:09 AM  
WFern: I

That's an odd filter.

/[heart] the Monarch

 
syrynxx [TotalFark] 2009-11-06 03:07:34 AM  
Shouldn't it be 'genii'?

 
Cuphat 2009-11-06 03:08:17 AM  
Mobkey: How is Cartman on this list? He nearly took over the US to win a bet and made Scott Tenorman eat his parents.

I was wondering the same thing.

 
Rubber Biscuit 2009-11-06 03:09:15 AM  
Subby can't count, can't link, can't spell/type. I think we're all safe from Subby's own evil genius plans.

 
Gyrfalcon [TotalFark] 2009-11-06 03:11:52 AM  
The_Sponge: My nomination:



Seriously, dude....just go to KFC and order a bucket of chicken.


He's not a genius. He's a SUPER Genius.

 
rhcmom 2009-11-06 03:17:59 AM  
Oh I loathe this Dr. Horrible nonsense. My 13 yr old is making me crazy yammering about it.

 
Rubber Biscuit 2009-11-06 03:27:05 AM  
rhcmom: Oh I loathe this Dr. Horrible nonsense. My 13 yr old is making me crazy yammering about it.

You kinda sound like a super villain there.

 
rook2112 2009-11-06 03:41:02 AM  
I nominate Darth Vader, for blatant failure to use available powers and resources. Waiting for a moon to clear the planet to shoot at it? Shoot the damn planet! The planet was going to be utterly devastated when the moon blows up anyhow.

/What the hell is an aluminum falcon?!?!

 
ATK 2009-11-06 03:52:49 AM  
rhcmom, THESE are not the hammer...

 
Doogled 2009-11-06 04:20:37 AM  
I'm fairly sure Captain Hammer was the villain of that story.

/"Hatred, mark my words!"

 
Gunther 2009-11-06 04:28:07 AM  
Dr Doom rules a country, and it's people are fanatically devoted to him after his policies turned it from a third world to a first world country (supposedly as a result of his genius).

www.quickstopentertainment.com
/hotlinked

Sounds like a pretty smart guy to me. Actually, I kinda wish I could vote for him.

 
Great Janitor 2009-11-06 04:34:36 AM  
rook2112: I nominate Darth Vader, for blatant failure to use available powers and resources. Waiting for a moon to clear the planet to shoot at it? Shoot the damn planet! The planet was going to be utterly devastated when the moon blows up anyhow.

/What the hell is an aluminum falcon?!?!


That Death Star thing wasn't his failure, it was Tarkin's failure. As for Vader, he was just Palpatine's lackey. The real genius was Palpatine. He went from a nobody senator from a no where planet to Emperor of the Galactic Empire, defeated the Jedi, rigged a civil war in such a way so that no matter which side won, he would be on the winning side, no one actually figured out it was him, he had to come right out and say that he was the Sith Lord that the Jedi couldn't find before kicking their asses.

Then there's the genius of pulling all that off, ruling the Empire with an iron fist and staying in power for more than 20 years. I'm sure there was more than one assassination attempt...

/Though his credit rating did suffer after the Battle of Yavin

 
lantawa [TotalFark] 2009-11-06 05:00:56 AM  
Karl Bacardi: The_Sponge: My nomination:



Seriously, dude....just go to KFC and order a bucket of chicken.

Yes. That always bothered me as a kid. He can mail-order a fully functional catapult, rocket-sled, and flying Batman costume, but he can't get a can of Spaghetti-Os?


True. The fixation he had on that bird was almost cartoonish.

 
Hillbilly Jim 2009-11-06 05:06:13 AM  
Great Janitor: rook2112: I nominate Darth Vader, for blatant failure to use available powers and resources. Waiting for a moon to clear the planet to shoot at it? Shoot the damn planet! The planet was going to be utterly devastated when the moon blows up anyhow.

/What the hell is an aluminum falcon?!?!

That Death Star thing wasn't his failure, it was Tarkin's failure. As for Vader, he was just Palpatine's lackey. The real genius was Palpatine. He went from a nobody senator from a no where planet to Emperor of the Galactic Empire, defeated the Jedi, rigged a civil war in such a way so that no matter which side won, he would be on the winning side, no one actually figured out it was him, he had to come right out and say that he was the Sith Lord that the Jedi couldn't find before kicking their asses.

Then there's the genius of pulling all that off, ruling the Empire with an iron fist and staying in power for more than 20 years. I'm sure there was more than one assassination attempt...

/Though his credit rating did suffer after the Battle of Yavin


Well played sir, well played indeed.

 
100 Watt Walrus 2009-11-06 05:11:43 AM  
partridgestorm: Are you kidding me? This is the third time I've seen you fark up a headline in recent memory. You should take a hiatus from being a submitter The English Major. Or at least stop fessing up to it.

If nothing else, it might be time to give up that handle.

/Obligatory: The Top 100 Things I'd Do If I Ever Became An Evil Overlord (new window)

 
Six_By_Nine 2009-11-06 05:20:47 AM  
Great Janitor: rook2112: I nominate Darth Vader, for blatant failure to use available powers and resources. Waiting for a moon to clear the planet to shoot at it? Shoot the damn planet! The planet was going to be utterly devastated when the moon blows up anyhow.

/What the hell is an aluminum falcon?!?!

That Death Star thing wasn't his failure, it was Tarkin's failure. As for Vader, he was just Palpatine's lackey. The real genius was Palpatine. He went from a nobody senator from a no where planet to Emperor of the Galactic Empire, defeated the Jedi, rigged a civil war in such a way so that no matter which side won, he would be on the winning side, no one actually figured out it was him, he had to come right out and say that he was the Sith Lord that the Jedi couldn't find before kicking their asses.

Then there's the genius of pulling all that off, ruling the Empire with an iron fist and staying in power for more than 20 years. I'm sure there was more than one assassination attempt...

/Though his credit rating did suffer after the Battle of Yavin


No kidding. I even asked that after the second movie and my friend and I were talking about how Lucas was going to handle the Palpatine thing. My buddy figured he was going to be a clone (and a sockpuppet) so as not to cause any disturbances in the Force.

By that time, I was numb and couldn't handle the suck anymore and that was after the first one where of two Jedi on Tattooine (one a master), neither one could figure out that the Amidala that followed them onto the planet was the real one, not one of her clones as promised.

/My husband is right, the Jedi had it coming.

 
Jedekai 2009-11-06 05:41:33 AM  
Gunther: Dr Doom rules a country, and it's people are fanatically devoted to him after his policies turned it from a third world to a first world country (supposedly as a result of his genius).


/hotlinked

Sounds like a pretty smart guy to me. Actually, I kinda wish I could vote for him.


He's also not a villain - so this is ARTICLE FAIL:

"Wanting to rule the world isn't evil, and neither is Doom - he's not a bad guy; he's a man who traded everything he had for power but not his soul, and all to help his people".

Here's your replacement evil genius:

www.heromachine.com

Gave up being a villain to become a psychiatrist to superheroes. Because he couldn't even defeat HOWARD THE FARKING DUCK.

 
The7thGuest 2009-11-06 06:34:29 AM  
100 Watt Walrus: partridgestorm: Are you kidding me? This is the third time I've seen you fark up a headline in recent memory. You should take a hiatus from being a submitter The English Major. Or at least stop fessing up to it.

If nothing else, it might be time to give up that handle.

/Obligatory: The Top 100 Things I'd Do If I Ever Became An Evil Overlord (new window)




I'm surprised that site is still in function..... it's been years

 
Mugato [TotalFark] 2009-11-06 07:33:32 AM  
rook2112: I nominate Darth Vader, for blatant failure to use available powers and resources. Waiting for a moon to clear the planet to shoot at it? Shoot the damn planet! The planet was going to be utterly devastated when the moon blows up anyhow.

Vader wasn't in charge of the Death Star and Yavin was a gaseous planet, it wouldn't have exploded.

 
Mugato [TotalFark] 2009-11-06 07:36:10 AM  
and we totally identify with him, since the alternative would be identifying with Moist

I haven't seen the film but that line is somewhat hilarious since NPH obviously avoids anything moist.

 
Hoboclown 2009-11-06 07:53:22 AM  
Mugato: rook2112: I nominate Darth Vader, for blatant failure to use available powers and resources. Waiting for a moon to clear the planet to shoot at it? Shoot the damn planet! The planet was going to be utterly devastated when the moon blows up anyhow.

Vader wasn't in charge of the Death Star and Yavin was a gaseous planet, it wouldn't have exploded.


Shoot through it, then.

 
caperbear 2009-11-06 08:12:33 AM  
The article confuses super-villain with evil genius.

The Monarch is not a genius. The bulk of his technology was stollen from Sargeant Hatred, bought with his fat inheritance, or designed for him by Dr. Girlfriend (now Dr. Mrs. Monarch). He doesn't even understand the biology of his namesake.

Baron Werner Ünderbheit would be a better example of a stupid genius since at least he has... ZEE SCIENCE BOX!

\say hello to good-bye!

 
nopokerface [TotalFark] 2009-11-06 08:16:23 AM  
Curse you, Perry the Platypus!

 
Mugato [TotalFark] 2009-11-06 08:18:40 AM  
Hoboclown: Shoot through it, then.

The gas could have dissipated the laser and they were confident that the Rebels weren't going anywhere.

Where's Lex Luther from the recent 5 movies?

 
t3knomanser 2009-11-06 08:47:29 AM  
I suggest you follow them, or your boys will follow the Rainbow Bridge to Valhalla!

//That's not as dark as it sounds in my head, is it.

 
JimmySlicings 2009-11-06 08:49:04 AM  
farm2.static.flickr.com

 
JimmySlicings 2009-11-06 08:50:51 AM  
www.bedeo.fr

 
Coconut Tequila 2009-11-06 08:53:17 AM  
Baldanders: Karl Bacardi: The_Sponge: My nomination:



Seriously, dude....just go to KFC and order a bucket of chicken.

Yes. That always bothered me as a kid. He can mail-order a fully functional catapult, rocket-sled, and flying Batman costume, but he can't get a can of Spaghetti-Os?

It's off topic, but the cartoon question that always bugged me the most was this: how did the Scooby Doo gang finance their adventures? As far as I can tell, they just drive around solving mysteries, and do so for years at a time. And it's not like they're (usually) brought in to solve the mystery, they just sort of stumble upon it. I guess it's possible the people they help throw them a bone. You'd have to be a pretty big dick not to reward the kids that saved your ice cream factory from your evil half-brother.

Also, how did they get that van to Hawaii? Or Scotland? I distinctly remember them driving the Mystery Machine through the Scottish moors.

Anyway, every Scooby Doo villain should qualify for this list. They're all apparently special effects geniuses, employing everything from animatronic suits to friggin' holographic projectors that'd make Mysterio (him too, on the list) jealous, but they're defeated by a stoner, a closeted gay, and two chicks with a serious learning disability and asperger's syndrome, respectively.

Also, the dog can't actually talk; they're all on drugs, all the time.


Daphne's parents are rich, and she's a little spoiled, you think her parents would rather finance mystery solving, or pay for her to become the cartoon Paris Hilton?

I have two boys, I have an excuse for watching the newest Scooby Doo movie >.> One of the major points it that the Mystery Machine was given to Daphne by her parents who are uber rich.

 
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