If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.
Fark SearchWeb Fark

         more options... Create account

(io9) Fail Large Hadron Collider shut down. Again. Due to French bread   (io9.com) divider line 92
More: Fail  
•       •       •

7786 clicks; posted to Geek » on 05 Nov 2009 at 9:55 PM   |  Make this a Fark FavoriteFavorite    |   share: Share on OMGTWITTER WEB2.0share on StumbleUponshare on Facebook  more»   |    Get this fabulous T-Shirt and impress the methane out of your friends! shirt it!

92 Comments   (+0 »)


First | « | 1 | 2 | » | Last | Show all
 
Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener [TotalFark] 2009-11-05 09:26:49 PM  
From the article: "The LHC has been so plagued by problems and shutdowns that some physicists have wondered if it's being sabotaged by its own future. And the LHC has fallen victim to another bizarre shutdown involving a bird and a baguette.

CERN is reporting that the Large Hadron Collider has been shutdown yet again after a piece of bread fell into the outdoor machinery. That part of the LHC's circuit normally operates at 1.9 Kelvin, but, thanks to the bread bomb, rose to 8 Kelvin, nearly causing the LHC's niobium-titanium magnets to cease superconducting.
"


Hah! Oh, those birds and their rye humor!

Wheat oughta know better by now. I dough not know what the scientists will do from here.

They explained possible scenarios in that technobabble jargon, but all I could do was twist my head and say, "I baguette your pardon?"

Who could tell what's the matzo with them? They've got funding, so we can't really have too much sorrow or pita for them. If we were to criticize them otherwise, they'd accuse us of throwing scones in a glasshouse.

Well, far be it from me to mill around. Hell, when push comes to shove, I might even go against the grain in the event that they don't boule me over. All the anger over this could turn a friend into focaccia, but I don't care any more.

Next thing you know, bada-boom, bada-bing, there will be nothing left to discuss about the Large Hadron Collider. Really. What will be lefse to say? If we're luchi, we'll find some other area of science to turn our attention to.

And instead of attempting to lavash so much praise upon these supposed innovators, we'll...

...

... um...

...

... err...

...

... damn. I thought I was on a roll.

Now I got muffin.

:-/

 
Snarfangel [TotalFark] 2009-11-05 09:54:46 PM  
That was me. After my future self told me about the singularity that swallows the earth once the nefarious contraption comes online, I tossed my sandwich into it.

 
Heroic Poser 2009-11-05 09:57:27 PM  
I hate this Viral marketing for 2012.

 
yogaFLAME [TotalFark] 2009-11-05 09:57:37 PM  
Obligatory repeat 1 of 5, huh?

Oh well. It's a naan-issue now that TMLO is on the scene.

 
jack21221 2009-11-05 09:59:12 PM  
Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener: From the article: "The LHC has been so plagued by problems and shutdowns that some physicists have wondered if it's being sabotaged by its own future. And the LHC has fallen victim to another bizarre shutdown involving a bird and a baguette.

CERN is reporting that the Large Hadron Collider has been shutdown yet again after a piece of bread fell into the outdoor machinery. That part of the LHC's circuit normally operates at 1.9 Kelvin, but, thanks to the bread bomb, rose to 8 Kelvin, nearly causing the LHC's niobium-titanium magnets to cease superconducting."


Hah! Oh, those birds and their rye humor!

Wheat oughta know better by now. I dough not know what the scientists will do from here.

They explained possible scenarios in that technobabble jargon, but all I could do was twist my head and say, "I baguette your pardon?"

Who could tell what's the matzo with them? They've got funding, so we can't really have too much sorrow or pita for them. If we were to criticize them otherwise, they'd accuse us of throwing scones in a glasshouse.

Well, far be it from me to mill around. Hell, when push comes to shove, I might even go against the grain in the event that they don't boule me over. All the anger over this could turn a friend into focaccia, but I don't care any more.

Next thing you know, bada-boom, bada-bing, there will be nothing left to discuss about the Large Hadron Collider. Really. What will be lefse to say? If we're luchi, we'll find some other area of science to turn our attention to.

And instead of attempting to lavash so much praise upon these supposed innovators, we'll...

...

... um...

...

... err...

...

... damn. I thought I was on a roll.

Now I got muffin.

:-/


*golfclap*

 
bassett 2009-11-05 09:59:31 PM  
TMLO, I tip my hat ot you :)

 
shawn82 2009-11-05 10:00:12 PM  
God has a weird sense of humor.

 
cloud_van_dame [TotalFark] 2009-11-05 10:02:05 PM  
It seems the time travelers forgot to clean up after lunch.

/yes, God has a weird sense of humor.

 
Oysterman 2009-11-05 10:06:29 PM  
LHC SHUTDOWN APPLY DIRECTLY TO THE FARK
LHC SHUTDOWN APPLY DIRECTLY TO THE FARK
LCH SHUTDOWN APPLY DIRECTLY TO THE FARK

 
wildsnowllama 2009-11-05 10:08:19 PM  
"Stay on Target."

 
Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener [TotalFark] 2009-11-05 10:09:41 PM  
bassett: TMLO, I tip my hat ot you :)

jack21221: *golfclap*

*bows*

Thank you kindly, folks! :D


yogaFLAME: Obligatory repeat 1 of 5, huh?

Heh!

Didn't even notice that (not subby of either).

I reposted that in the original thread, since this one's likely to vanish - thanks for the heads-up!


Oh well. It's a naan-issue now that TMLO is on the scene.

Heh, touche!


Oysterman: LHC SHUTDOWN APPLY DIRECTLY TO THE FARK
LHC SHUTDOWN APPLY DIRECTLY TO THE FARK

LCH SHUTDOWN APPLY DIRECTLY TO THE FARK

If they shut down lunch, I have no idea what I'm gonna do.

:-/

 
Fano 2009-11-05 10:19:39 PM  
Booster, quit farking this up.

 
Englebert Slaptyback 2009-11-05 10:20:02 PM  

Large Hadron Collider shut down. Again. Due to French bread


They should quit loafing about and get to work.


Seriously, TMLO, how did you miss that one? :-)

 
Loren 2009-11-05 10:21:20 PM  
Sounds like they tried to do it too cheap. If a passing bird can bust it's cooling system it's got some serious deficiencies.

 
whatshisname 2009-11-05 10:21:57 PM  
What happens if two baguettes collide at near to light speed?

 
Foaming [TotalFark] 2009-11-05 10:24:18 PM  
I was just trying to make some toast or maybe anti-toast. I forget how it works.

 
t3hSiggy 2009-11-05 10:24:46 PM  
Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener: From the article: "The LHC has been so plagued by problems and shutdowns that some physicists have wondered if it's being sabotaged by its own future. And the LHC has fallen victim to another bizarre shutdown involving a bird and a baguette.

CERN is reporting that the Large Hadron Collider has been shutdown yet again after a piece of bread fell into the outdoor machinery. That part of the LHC's circuit normally operates at 1.9 Kelvin, but, thanks to the bread bomb, rose to 8 Kelvin, nearly causing the LHC's niobium-titanium magnets to cease superconducting."


Hah! Oh, those birds and their rye humor!

Wheat oughta know better by now. I dough not know what the scientists will do from here.

They explained possible scenarios in that technobabble jargon, but all I could do was twist my head and say, "I baguette your pardon?"

Who could tell what's the matzo with them? They've got funding, so we can't really have too much sorrow or pita for them. If we were to criticize them otherwise, they'd accuse us of throwing scones in a glasshouse.

Well, far be it from me to mill around. Hell, when push comes to shove, I might even go against the grain in the event that they don't boule me over. All the anger over this could turn a friend into focaccia, but I don't care any more.

Next thing you know, bada-boom, bada-bing, there will be nothing left to discuss about the Large Hadron Collider. Really. What will be lefse to say? If we're luchi, we'll find some other area of science to turn our attention to.

And instead of attempting to lavash so much praise upon these supposed innovators, we'll...

...

... um...

...

... err...

...

... damn. I thought I was on a roll.

Now I got muffin.

:-/


Nothing better than a whole batch of freshly-baked puns.

 
ActionJoe 2009-11-05 10:25:52 PM  
Did they borrow plans from the Death Star to build the LHC?

 
Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener [TotalFark] 2009-11-05 10:27:17 PM  
Englebert Slaptyback: They should quit loafing about and get to work.

Seriously, TMLO, how did you miss that one? :-)


Heh, I can't have ALL the fun, now! :D


t3hSiggy: Nothing better than a whole batch of freshly-baked puns.

See?

Any way you slice it, we gotta spread this wordplay around... for butter or worse.

 
Englebert Slaptyback 2009-11-05 10:30:13 PM  

Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener


Any way you slice it, we gotta spread this wordplay around... for butter or worse.


We'll have to call up the preserves or we'll be in a real jam.

 
Tofino 2009-11-05 10:32:08 PM  
Why have I never had TMLO on my favourites? Corrected that gaffe!

 
zekeburger 2009-11-05 10:32:25 PM  
For some reason, I'm thinking of Bon Voyage, Charlie Brown and Don't Look Back!

 
Tofino 2009-11-05 10:35:45 PM  
I'm thinking of the best parts of Spider Robinson novels.

 
Feldspar Q. Walrustitty 2009-11-05 10:36:47 PM  
French bread?

What a pain.

 
Englebert Slaptyback 2009-11-05 10:37:42 PM  

Feldspar Q. Walrustitty


French bread?

What a pain.


Au, that was bad.

 
Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener [TotalFark] 2009-11-05 10:39:06 PM  
Englebert Slaptyback: We'll have to call up the preserves or we'll be in a real jam.

If syrup is involved, we just maple off a surprise victory...


Tofino: Why have I never had TMLO on my favourites? Corrected that gaffe!

*tips the hat*

Thank ya kindly, much obliged!


zekeburger: For some reason, I'm thinking of Bon Voyage, Charlie Brown and Don't Look Back!

Charlie Brown screaming "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUGH!" as the LHC is taken out by a chunk of bread... now THAT'S the mental image of the night...

 
Cucullen 2009-11-05 10:41:22 PM  
Doing complicated shiat is complicated.

News at 11.

 
whatshisname 2009-11-05 10:46:23 PM  
Bread at 8 Kelvins? The whole thing could have been toast.

 
Englebert Slaptyback 2009-11-05 10:47:41 PM  

Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener


If syrup is involved, we just maple off a surprise victory...


At yeast we can try.

 
jake3988 2009-11-05 10:47:48 PM  
I didn't read this article, but it specifically said in the other article that while it did cause a minor problem that part wasn't turned on and will not effect the official startup next month.

So... fail.

/But the reason there's so many 'freak' accidents is because it's FREAKING ENOURMOUSLY HUGE and is super-delicate.

 
whatshisname 2009-11-05 10:52:20 PM  
jake3988: So... fail.


Fark kneads threads like this.

 
LordJiro 2009-11-05 10:54:38 PM  
Large Hadron Collider shut down. Again. Due to French bread FROM THE FUTURE.

/Fixed that for subby

 
brainscab 2009-11-05 10:55:34 PM  
That bird is from the future

 
Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener [TotalFark] 2009-11-05 10:59:47 PM  
Englebert Slaptyback: At yeast we can try.

whatshisname: Fark kneads threads like this.

Of course!

We can't be leaven this issue alone, now.

 
Nightmaretony 2009-11-05 11:03:06 PM  
Doesnt french bread always resemble a hardon?

www.nightmarepark.com

 
humanshrapnel 2009-11-05 11:05:31 PM  
Nightmaretony: Doesnt french bread always resemble a hardon?

www.nightmarepark.com

That's an impressive Rule 34 implementation right there.

 
trapped-in-CH 2009-11-05 11:06:03 PM  
Yay! More LHC sabotaged by the future! I love these.

 
GoodHomer 2009-11-05 11:09:34 PM  
Looking for the elusive crouton particle, I imagine.

 
Menstrual Cyclist 2009-11-05 11:41:12 PM  
Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener: From the article: "The LHC has been so plagued by problems and shutdowns that some physicists have wondered if it's being sabotaged by its own future. And the LHC has fallen victim to another bizarre shutdown involving a bird and a baguette.

CERN is reporting that the Large Hadron Collider has been shutdown yet again after a piece of bread fell into the outdoor machinery. That part of the LHC's circuit normally operates at 1.9 Kelvin, but, thanks to the bread bomb, rose to 8 Kelvin, nearly causing the LHC's niobium-titanium magnets to cease superconducting."


Hah! Oh, those birds and their rye humor!

Wheat oughta know better by now. I dough not know what the scientists will do from here.

They explained possible scenarios in that technobabble jargon, but all I could do was twist my head and say, "I baguette your pardon?"

Who could tell what's the matzo with them? They've got funding, so we can't really have too much sorrow or pita for them. If we were to criticize them otherwise, they'd accuse us of throwing scones in a glasshouse.

Well, far be it from me to mill around. Hell, when push comes to shove, I might even go against the grain in the event that they don't boule me over. All the anger over this could turn a friend into focaccia, but I don't care any more.

Next thing you know, bada-boom, bada-bing, there will be nothing left to discuss about the Large Hadron Collider. Really. What will be lefse to say? If we're luchi, we'll find some other area of science to turn our attention to.

And instead of attempting to lavash so much praise upon these supposed innovators, we'll...

...

... um...

...

... err...

...

... damn. I thought I was on a roll.

Now I got muffin.

:-/


Favorited. Make sure to challah at me when you win the next thread.

 
Braindeath 2009-11-05 11:41:14 PM  
Fano: Booster, quit farking this up.

It's Rip's fault.

Tofino: Why have I never had TMLO on my favourites? Corrected that gaffe!

Second. TMLO - are you still doing theater?

 
Procedural Texture [recently expired TotalFark] 2009-11-05 11:44:13 PM  
humanshrapnel: That's an impressive Rule 34 implementation right there.

That was created by a Farker for a photoshop contest. Circa 2004-5 if I remember correctly.

 
clevins [TotalFark] 2009-11-05 11:49:04 PM  
/surrender

 
Nightmaretony 2009-11-05 11:54:46 PM  
Procedural Texture: humanshrapnel: That's an impressive Rule 34 implementation right there.

That was created by a Farker for a photoshop contest. Circa 2004-5 if I remember correctly.


Yuppers. I don't know who did it, completely forgot but it has to live on in every LHC thread now. My apologies to the Farker who created it, but it just belongs.... :)

 
veryequiped 2009-11-05 11:56:18 PM  
Do you ever get the impression that they are just telling the public this to curb public fears, but instead will continue the experiment anyways?

I say that because all the excuses are so stupidly ridiculous you want to believe it.

 
Ironclad2 2009-11-06 12:24:29 AM  
veryequiped: Do you ever get the impression that they are just telling the public this to curb public fears, but instead will continue the experiment anyways?

I say that because all the excuses are so stupidly ridiculous you want to believe it.


The previous collider to exist in the biggest tunnel at CERN, called LEP2, had its beams blocked by a pair of beer bottles jammed into the beamline.

In other words, shiat happens.

 
mason4300 2009-11-06 12:32:04 AM  
You know, I kinda wish that 2012 was the end of the world thanks to the LHC creating a black hole that ended up swallowing the Earth. I would laugh.

 
GranoblasticMan 2009-11-06 12:32:44 AM  
mason4300: You know, I kinda wish that 2012 was the end of the world thanks to the LHC creating a black hole that ended up swallowing the Earth. I would laugh.

Not for very long you wouldn't.

 
veryequiped 2009-11-06 12:33:13 AM  
Ironclad2: veryequiped: Do you ever get the impression that they are just telling the public this to curb public fears, but instead will continue the experiment anyways?

I say that because all the excuses are so stupidly ridiculous you want to believe it.

The previous collider to exist in the biggest tunnel at CERN, called LEP2, had its beams blocked by a pair of beer bottles jammed into the beamline.

In other words, shiat happens.


Hmmmm... what are the chances in a multi million dollar complex.

//I maintain

 
unyon [TotalFark] 2009-11-06 12:33:46 AM  
wildsnowllama: "Stay on Target."

Almost there...

 
MentalMoment 2009-11-06 12:37:34 AM  
FTA: Technicians believe that a passing bird dropped the bread into the machinery.

African or European?

 
Displayed 50 of 92 comments

First | « | 1 | 2 | » | Last | Show all


[Continue Farking]