The New York Post is one of the trashiest, disgusting publications out there. Anyone who has actually looked through one knows this. They refer to Obama as 'Bam' and it took me a long time of seeing that (only leafed through it in the breakroom at work, never bought a copy) before I realized it was Obama and not Bam Margera.

Headlines like "Gov Sez Sex Scandal Is Hard-On His Fam"

So really, this says more about the media that publish it than Lohan.

Any credible news source (if there is one) would say 'Fark you, leave your daughter alone, we arent reporting on this'

Of course NYP sucks and are doing as much harm on printing it than her daddy is.

So... how is Amy Winehouse these days ;)

SpinStopper: So... how is Amy Winehouse these days ;)

I heard she bought herself a new pair of titties.

Worst. Choose Your Own Adventure. Evar.

NeuroticRocker: They refer to Obama as 'Bam'

they also gleefully reported that he and michelle spent a night at the waldorf in an orgy of lobster and caviar - when they were nowhere near the place.

If people would stop reading tabloids then the tabloids would go out of business.

You are Michael Lohan. Your drug-addicted daughter has called you, weeping and hysterical, to beg for help with her addiction. Do you: c) release a tape of the phone call to the media?

A) Shoot myself in the face.

What a Piece of shiat.

Last One Left: Worst. Choose Your Own Adventure. Evar.

Dammit, that's a distillation of the joke I came here to tell.

Last One Left: Worst. Choose Your Own Adventure. Evar.

Welp, that was quick. Don't forget to turn the lights out when you leave.

NeuroticRocker: Any credible news source (if there is one) would say 'Fark you, leave your daughter alone, we arent reporting on this'

You give newspapers too much credit. With circulation dropping like a rock, they'd cut one of their nuts off for an exclusive like that.

Why? Because it would sell lots of newspapers.

Last One Left: Worst. Choose Your Own Adventure. Evar.

I came into tell subby this should have been done Choose Your Own Adventure style.

Unfortunately there is only one ending.

eddyatwork: If people would stop reading tabloids then the tabloids would go out of business.

B..but we need to know where Bat Boy is!

/I used to love the WWN as a teen

I fix the cable.

Has anyone mentioned that Lindsay is looking a little peaked these days?

80s literary Mad Libs...

"You are not the kind of Michael Lohan who would be at a place like this at this time of the morning. You are at a nightclub talking to your drug addicted daughter with a shaved head. She is weeping and hysterical, begging for help. The club is either Heartbreak or the Lizard Lounge. All might come clear if you could just slip into the bathroom and do a little more Bolivian Marching Powder.

That entire family needs to be fired into the sun...Nix that, we don't need the sun getting herpes and a drug habit...fire them into Pluto. That asshole's not even a planet anymore.

Here's a letter to the New York Post
Ain't worth the paper it's printed on
Founded in 1801 by Alexander Hamilton
That is 190 years continuous of farked up news

Nothing like an attention whore.

He didn't release it
He sold it

Couldn't care less about her, but for fark's sake, you don't do this shiat.

Why would she call him anyway? She knows he's a snake.

What a total piece of shiat. Don't parents who act like this ever think that they are a HUGE reason why their kids are so farked up?

brap: 80s literary Mad Libs...

"You are not the kind of Michael Lohan who would be at a place like this at this time of the morning. You are at a nightclub talking to your drug addicted daughter with a shaved head. She is weeping and hysterical, begging for help. The club is either Heartbreak or the Lizard Lounge. All might come clear if you could just slip into the bathroom and do a little more Bolivian Marching Powder.

What is Bright Lights, Big City, Alex?

Blowmonkey: What a total piece of shiat. Don't parents who act like this ever think that they are a HUGE reason why their kids are so farked up?

They obviously don't care. I'm willing to bet he sold this to make some quick cash and/or just to keep her name in the news.

Either way, he's a piece of shiat.

Poor girl never had a chance did she?

How many times do you think Lindsay promised her dad that she would get help, that she would quit doing drugs and whoring around?

Trust is a two way street.

MisterLoki:What is Bright Lights, Big City, Alex?

Ding!

Whatthefark: Poor girl never had a chance did she?

Holy this Batman! And I thought my dad was a piece of shiat, turns out there are crap fathers and then a whole other level below them infested with vermin like these parents

good. i very much enjoy watching attention whores lives crumble

apacheco: good. i very much enjoy watching attention whores lives crumble

Should be a good harvest this year.

Pretty scummy thing to do but I have to wonder what I'd do if I was in his shoes.

You've a daughter who has ruined a promising film career, is in negative tabloid stories on a near daily basis and is in real danger of killing herself. You want to get her into rehab at all costs but she's not listening/talking to you. Would publically shaming her in a way she can't ignore seem like a good idea if it stands a good chance of putting enough pressure for her to check in at rehab?

I think, nay, strongly suggest, that Michael Lohan, Lynn Spears and Joe Simpson should be found dead in a kinky threesome suicide pact involving wolverines, Crisco and rubber tubing.

I'll get the Crisco if anyone's willing to go in with me.

NeuroticRocker
So really, this says more about the media that publish it than Lohan.

Of course the NYP is shiat, but they're not Lindsey Lohan's father. That's his daughter he's shiatting on (the aristocrats? no, figuratively, you sickos). The biggest piece of shiat award here goes to Michael Lohan who should be a man and try to help his daughter, but instead uses her for profit.

Considering LiLo has been trashing her dad, telling him to leave her alone, and consistently stating that she's clean and sober, I feel that the payback is warranted... just to prove his point that she does have a problem and everyone else should STFU about him trying to intervene in her situation.

/DNRTFA

abigsmurf: Pretty scummy thing to do but I have to wonder what I'd do if I was in his shoes.

You've a daughter who has ruined a promising film career, is in negative tabloid stories on a near daily basis and is in real danger of killing herself. You want to get her into rehab at all costs but she's not listening/talking to you. Would publically shaming her in a way she can't ignore seem like a good idea if it stands a good chance of putting enough pressure for her to check in at rehab?

Yes, if his concern is actually for her well-being, rather than trying to get her career back on track so he can cash in on his daughter's success again. Maybe the result would be the same, but he's a piece of shiat, so I doubt he actually gives a damn.

FTA Lindsay yesterday branded her dad "a loser" and skewered him on Twitter.

DIAF NYP and Twitter.

mooseyfate: That entire family needs to be fired into the sun...Nix that, we don't need the sun getting herpes and a drug habit...fire them into Pluto. That asshole's not even a planet anymore.

I thought Uranus was the asshole.

Answer: Yes, I would.

Now, if the question was,
You are a human. Your drug-addicted daughter has called you, ...

then the answer would be: hell no.

Um, anyone chalking this up to a father's concern for his child, using tough love tactics to get her help, a validation for her breaking his trust or his retaliation for her behavior ... well, you guys are being just silly. This is about $$$, plain and simple.

patrick767: NeuroticRocker
So really, this says more about the media that publish it than Lohan.

Of course the NYP is shiat, but they're not Lindsey Lohan's father. That's his daughter he's shiatting on (the aristocrats? no, figuratively, you sickos). The biggest piece of shiat award here goes to Michael Dina Lohan who should be a man and try to help his daughter, but instead uses her for profit.

FTFY. And she's doing a fine job of whoring out her other daughter too.

Her forehead looks like a jigsaw puzzle.

PsyLord: just to prove his point that she does have a problem and everyone else should STFU about him trying to intervene in her situation.

Then you intervene privately. You don't release it to the media. This "father" is a piece of shiat. Her mother isn't any better. Who knows how far she could have gone with a decent homelife. Instead we get to watch her crash and burn while the parents stand behind her and throw gas on the fire.

Blowmonkey: What a total piece of shiat. Don't parents who act like this ever think that they are a HUGE reason why their kids are so farked up?

No, they never think it. It is literally beyond their comprehension. Bad parents are the only people in the world who have never heard of that truism that bad parenting produces bad kids.

Everything I have read about Michael Lohan indicates that he is anthropomorphic feces.

can dig it...

The Post only call Obama "'Bam" in headlines. It's catchy. The Post has the late sports so it will always have readers.

I always thought the Lohan mother was hot.

Yup, she called for help and he basically sent her spiraling back down into self loathing and despair with his insensivity, cruelty, greed and stupidity.

Sounds like my dad, come to think of it.

Whatthefark: PsyLord: just to prove his point that she does have a problem and everyone else should STFU about him trying to intervene in her situation.

Then you intervene privately. You don't release it to the media. This "father" is a piece of shiat. Her mother isn't any better. Who knows how far she could have gone with a decent homelife. Instead we get to watch her crash and burn while the parents stand behind her and throw gas on the fire.

This is why showbiz is evil. They did the same thing to Judy Garland. Her mother needed the cash, and so she let the studio assholes do whatever they wanted to her. Jessica Simpson certainly had no better chance than Lindsay Lohan to grow up normal, having a pervert dad and all. At some point you have to stop justifying taking pleasure in other people's problems just to make you feel better about your own life. Use it as a lesson(one that should be obvious) that girls who have bad male role models have problems later on. A girl is probably better off with no father than a bad one.

I actually feel sorry for the skank.

I still wouldn't touch her with Obama's d*ck, though.