The New York Post is one of the trashiest, disgusting publications out there. Anyone who has actually looked through one knows this. They refer to Obama as 'Bam' and it took me a long time of seeing that (only leafed through it in the breakroom at work, never bought a copy) before I realized it was Obama and not Bam Margera.

Headlines like "Gov Sez Sex Scandal Is Hard-On His Fam"

So really, this says more about the media that publish it than Lohan.

Any credible news source (if there is one) would say 'Fark you, leave your daughter alone, we arent reporting on this'

Of course NYP sucks and are doing as much harm on printing it than her daddy is.

So... how is Amy Winehouse these days ;)

SpinStopper: So... how is Amy Winehouse these days ;)

I heard she bought herself a new pair of titties.

Worst. Choose Your Own Adventure. Evar.

NeuroticRocker: They refer to Obama as 'Bam'

they also gleefully reported that he and michelle spent a night at the waldorf in an orgy of lobster and caviar - when they were nowhere near the place.

If people would stop reading tabloids then the tabloids would go out of business.

You are Michael Lohan. Your drug-addicted daughter has called you, weeping and hysterical, to beg for help with her addiction. Do you: c) release a tape of the phone call to the media?

A) Shoot myself in the face.

What a Piece of shiat.

Last One Left: Worst. Choose Your Own Adventure. Evar.

Dammit, that's a distillation of the joke I came here to tell.

Last One Left: Worst. Choose Your Own Adventure. Evar.

Welp, that was quick. Don't forget to turn the lights out when you leave.

NeuroticRocker: Any credible news source (if there is one) would say 'Fark you, leave your daughter alone, we arent reporting on this'

You give newspapers too much credit. With circulation dropping like a rock, they'd cut one of their nuts off for an exclusive like that.

Why? Because it would sell lots of newspapers.

Last One Left: Worst. Choose Your Own Adventure. Evar.

I came into tell subby this should have been done Choose Your Own Adventure style.

Unfortunately there is only one ending.

eddyatwork: If people would stop reading tabloids then the tabloids would go out of business.

B..but we need to know where Bat Boy is!

/I used to love the WWN as a teen

I fix the cable.

Has anyone mentioned that Lindsay is looking a little peaked these days?

80s literary Mad Libs...

"You are not the kind of Michael Lohan who would be at a place like this at this time of the morning. You are at a nightclub talking to your drug addicted daughter with a shaved head. She is weeping and hysterical, begging for help. The club is either Heartbreak or the Lizard Lounge. All might come clear if you could just slip into the bathroom and do a little more Bolivian Marching Powder.

That entire family needs to be fired into the sun...Nix that, we don't need the sun getting herpes and a drug habit...fire them into Pluto. That asshole's not even a planet anymore.

Here's a letter to the New York Post
Ain't worth the paper it's printed on
Founded in 1801 by Alexander Hamilton
That is 190 years continuous of farked up news

Nothing like an attention whore.

He didn't release it
He sold it

Couldn't care less about her, but for fark's sake, you don't do this shiat.

Why would she call him anyway? She knows he's a snake.

What a total piece of shiat. Don't parents who act like this ever think that they are a HUGE reason why their kids are so farked up?

brap: 80s literary Mad Libs...

"You are not the kind of Michael Lohan who would be at a place like this at this time of the morning. You are at a nightclub talking to your drug addicted daughter with a shaved head. She is weeping and hysterical, begging for help. The club is either Heartbreak or the Lizard Lounge. All might come clear if you could just slip into the bathroom and do a little more Bolivian Marching Powder.

What is Bright Lights, Big City, Alex?

Blowmonkey: What a total piece of shiat. Don't parents who act like this ever think that they are a HUGE reason why their kids are so farked up?

They obviously don't care. I'm willing to bet he sold this to make some quick cash and/or just to keep her name in the news.

Either way, he's a piece of shiat.