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(Philly) Interesting Five theories why Phillies slugger Ryan Howard is not hitting well in the World Series. Number six: Jobu needs to come, take fear from bats   (philly.com) divider line 77
More: Interesting, Ryan Howard, World Series, cleanup hitter, Jobu, Andy Pettitte, Joe Girardi, Mark Teixeira, drive in  
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77 Comments   (+0 »)


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tnpir [TotalFark] 2009-11-04 09:45:33 AM  
Is very bad to steal Jobu's rum.

Is VERY BAD.

/you tryin' to say that Jesus Christ can't hit a curveball?!?

 
beerrun [TotalFark] 2009-11-04 09:54:51 AM  
Ok, we're gonna need a live chicken.

 
packrabid04 [TotalFark] 2009-11-04 09:55:15 AM  
I say Fark you Jobu!

 
CheetahOlivetti [TotalFark] 2009-11-04 09:58:59 AM  
Hats. Hats for bats.

 
ThatGuyGreg [TotalFark] 2009-11-04 09:59:04 AM  
Straight ball he hit very much. Curveball, bats are afraid.

 
UNC_Samurai [TotalFark] 2009-11-04 10:08:21 AM  
President Palmer got shot because he forsook Jobu.

 
KaponoFor3 [recently expired TotalFark] 2009-11-04 10:27:25 AM  
JUSSSSSSSSSST a bit outside!

 
Tastes Like Chicken [TotalFark] 2009-11-04 10:36:40 AM  
I have a rule that when I'm watching a ball game and Howard hits a homer, I do a shot of Jameson.

This has been a very sober series.

:(

 
Dead for Tax Reasons [TotalFark] 2009-11-04 10:46:41 AM  
yo, bartender, jobu needs a refill

 
Rex_Banner [TotalFark] 2009-11-04 11:17:33 AM  
Clearly he loaned all his World Series HRs to Chase Utley

 
BKITU [TotalFark] 2009-11-04 11:37:13 AM  
Jobu, ayudaHoward en este momento para conquista los Yankees.

 
HulkHands [TotalFark] 2009-11-04 11:43:53 AM  
What's Tex's excuse?

 
Rex_Banner [TotalFark] 2009-11-04 12:11:01 PM  
HulkHands: What's Tex's excuse?

It was always his plan to suck in the playoffs, just to make his World Series game 6 heroics look all that much better.

/please let this be true?

 
LoveRBS 2009-11-04 01:03:55 PM  
He needs to be Cerrano in the climatic end game

"Fark you Jobu. I do it myself."

/"You saying Jesus Christ couldn't hit a curveball?"
//Joe Buck is Bob Uecker's colorman from the movie.

 
xnewnoisex 2009-11-04 01:07:08 PM  
img.sharedmp3.net
I was in 4th grade when it came out. Gave me my first look into hard rock/metal/primus.

 
Brostorm 2009-11-04 01:10:59 PM  
Yanks figured out what philly fans have known for years, throw all breaking balls, and if he manages to ever hit one, keep throwing more breaking balls.

 
Wettner 2009-11-04 01:11:26 PM  
xnewnoisex: I was in 4th grade when it came out. Gave me my first look into hard rock/metal/primus.

Now I see the inspiration for Cole Hamels hair...it is Ted.

 
erupt2001 2009-11-04 01:11:34 PM  
www.cnycentral.com

Jobu?

 
liquid duane-o 2009-11-04 01:11:36 PM  
Rex_Banner: HulkHands: What's Tex's excuse?

It was always his plan to suck in the playoffs, just to make his World Series game 6 heroics look all that much better.

/please let this be true?


1-6 in his career vs pedro. small sample size, but not hugely encouraging.

howard is 1-9 lifetime vs pettitte. another small sample size, but again, not really encouraging.

in fact, looking at the phils lineup, only victorino, ibanez, and ruiz have had any kind of success against pettitte.

jeter and a-rod are the only starting yanks to have a batting average over .250 against pedro, and jeter just barely....

another pitchers duel decided by the bullpens tonight?

 
G Love 2009-11-04 01:12:34 PM  
7. Fatties tend to wear down after playing 170 games.

 
yequalsy 2009-11-04 01:13:02 PM  
His HGH dealer got busted.

 
you have pee hands 2009-11-04 01:14:51 PM  
liquid duane-o: Rex_Banner: HulkHands: What's Tex's excuse?

It was always his plan to suck in the playoffs, just to make his World Series game 6 heroics look all that much better.

/please let this be true?

1-6 in his career vs pedro. small sample size, but not hugely encouraging.

howard is 1-9 lifetime vs pettitte. another small sample size, but again, not really encouraging.

in fact, looking at the phils lineup, only victorino, ibanez, and ruiz have had any kind of success against pettitte.

jeter and a-rod are the only starting yanks to have a batting average over .250 against pedro, and jeter just barely....

another pitchers duel decided by the bullpens tonight?


And Werth. Whatever he may have done against him in the regular season, he got two homers off him in game 3.

 
flaming99 2009-11-04 01:15:23 PM  
possibly one of the funniest movies made in the last 20 years. definitely one of my favorites.

\\Willie Mays Hayes: What the hell League you been playing in?
\\\Rick Vaughn: California Penal

 
flaming99 2009-11-04 01:16:46 PM  
"Heywood leads the league in most offensive categories, including nose hair. When this guy sneezes, he looks like a party favor." - Hary Doyle

 
Killer Cars [TotalFark] 2009-11-04 01:16:59 PM  
Wettner: xnewnoisex: I was in 4th grade when it came out. Gave me my first look into hard rock/metal/primus.

Now I see the inspiration for Cole Hamels hair...it is Ted.


That, or it's the realization of "hey, I'm already a multi-millionaire in my mid-20s with a hot ass wife. I guess I have no need to improve upon my hairstyle which makes me look like a dorky high-schooler."

/why Chase Utley slicks his hair back during games is another mystery

 
liquid duane-o 2009-11-04 01:18:35 PM  
G Love: 7. Fatties tend to wear down after playing 170 games.

give him a break, helost a lot of weight in the off-season and is in WAAAAAAAY better shape this year than last.

in the world series last year he hit .286 (ops 1.137) with 3 home runs, and still 9 strike outs.

even when he is going good, he strikes out a shiatload. when he is going bad, he could power a small city with the wind generated by his whiffs

 
liquid duane-o 2009-11-04 01:21:16 PM  
you have pee hands:
And Werth. Whatever he may have done against him in the regular season, he got two homers off him in game 3.


sorry, i forgot about that. i was just looking at career batter v pitcher on the yahoo stats page. i guess that doesn't include this post season.

this world series is all a blur right now....wasn't one of werth's 2 shots off a relief pitcher?

 
tricycleracer 2009-11-04 01:22:04 PM  
It's the free-Subway-for-life card. He really packed on the pounds eating cheesesteaks.

www.chrismuench.com

willdo.pwblogs.com

 
liquid duane-o 2009-11-04 01:22:37 PM  
flaming99: possibly one of the funniest movies made in the last 20 years. definitely one of my favorites.

\\Willie Mays Hayes: What the hell League you been playing in?
\\\Rick Vaughn: California Penal


willie: how'd you end up playin there?

vaughn: stole a car

 
Killer Cars [TotalFark] 2009-11-04 01:24:25 PM  
tricycleracer: It's the free-Subway-for-life card. He really packed on the pounds eating cheesesteaks.

I wonder what Philly thought about that; him endorsing a grossly inferior version of a local delicacy.

It would be like Jeter doing commercials for Domino's Brooklyn Style or whatever.

 
boomquita 2009-11-04 01:24:59 PM  
Brostorm: Yanks figured out what philly fans have known for years, throw all breaking balls, and if he manages to ever hit one, keep throwing more breaking balls.

Rays did the same thing to him last year, and he was pretty ineffective except for his monstrous game 4.

 
murp0837 2009-11-04 01:28:17 PM  
I have to say that I am REALLY looking forward to this game tonight. There is something poetic about Petitte going against Martinez. Two wily veterans trying to close their careers on top - one pitching for the championship, the other hoping to give his team a chance in game 7.

Petitte is a workhorse. Martinez is magical the way he is so cerebral in his approach - almost inventing pitches on the fly.

I want the Yankees to win, but I'm going to enjoy the sub-plot almost as much (regardless of the victor).

 
The Smails Kid 2009-11-04 01:30:19 PM  
CheetahOlivetti: Hats. Hats for bats.

Keep bats warm.

 
you have pee hands 2009-11-04 01:31:57 PM  
boomquita: Brostorm: Yanks figured out what philly fans have known for years, throw all breaking balls, and if he manages to ever hit one, keep throwing more breaking balls.

Rays did the same thing to him last year, and he was pretty ineffective except for his monstrous game 4.


Everyone does that to him all the time. Howard saw fewer fastballs than any other major league hitter during the regular season. The Yankees have been able to not hang any breaking pitches to him so far.

 
markyp09 2009-11-04 01:38:55 PM  
He's trying to pull every pitch even though they are throwing breaking balls or fastballs that are 6 inches off the plate?

 
bhcompy 2009-11-04 01:44:03 PM  
7) He's a strikeout machine, and strikeout machines sometimes do it a lot.

 
TheLopper 2009-11-04 01:52:25 PM  
Up yer butt, JoBu.

 
Lt. Cheese Weasel 2009-11-04 02:02:12 PM  
'Give em the heater Ricky.'

 
TonnageVT [TotalFark] 2009-11-04 02:04:10 PM  
Hey may run like Mays, but he hits like shiat.

 
AmazinTim 2009-11-04 02:05:08 PM  
Well done, Subby.

 
sboyle1020 2009-11-04 02:07:21 PM  
As any die hard Phils fan, I think we've just accepted that he will always be a strikeout machine but also hit 40+ HR's and 120+ RBI's every year. You take the good, you take the bad, and there you have the facts of life with Ryan Howard. It just scuks that his slump is in the World Series, I think that week layoff took him out of his rhythm.

One more thought, I know he won't change this now, but for next season, I think our hitting coach should try changing his batting stance slightly. I think he should move 2-3 inches closer to home plate. The MO to get Howard out is to pitch low and away and it works like a charm 90% of the time. If he were able closer to the plate he would be able to adjust more to those pitches. Just a thought.

 
sboyle1020 2009-11-04 02:09:13 PM  
sboyle1020: As any die hard Phils fan, I think we've just accepted that he will always be a strikeout machine but also hit 40+ HR's and 120+ RBI's every year. You take the good, you take the bad, and there you have the facts of life with Ryan Howard. It just scuks that his slump is in the World Series, I think that week layoff took him out of his rhythm.

One more thought, I know he won't change this now, but for next season, I think our hitting coach should try changing his batting stance slightly. I think he should move 2-3 inches closer to home plate. The MO to get Howard out is to pitch low and away and it works like a charm 90% of the time. If he were able closer to the plate he would be able to adjust more to those pitches. Just a thought.


FTFM

 
Marisyana 2009-11-04 02:16:16 PM  
Killer Cars: Wettner: xnewnoisex: I was in 4th grade when it came out. Gave me my first look into hard rock/metal/primus.

Now I see the inspiration for Cole Hamels hair...it is Ted.

That, or it's the realization of "hey, I'm already a multi-millionaire in my mid-20s with a hot ass wife. I guess I have no need to improve upon my hairstyle which makes me look like a dorky high-schooler."


His wife has psycho eyes, seriously. SI did a story on them a few months ago and she was staring into the camera like she was going to come out, rip out someone's intestines and make a fashionable belt out of them.

Also came for the "Major League" quotes, leaving satisfied.

/go Yankees

 
thegod082 2009-11-04 02:18:02 PM  
yequalsy: His HGH dealer scheme to mislead Dunder Mifflin stockholders got busted.

FTFY

/GO PHILS!

 
fritopendejo 2009-11-04 02:19:44 PM  
thegod082: yequalsy: His HGH dealer scheme to mislead Dunder Mifflin stockholders got busted.

FTFY

/GO PHILS!


blogs.seattleweekly.com

 
elmoron [TotalFark] 2009-11-04 02:27:24 PM  
Not amused...

i572.photobucket.com

 
conductormtm [TotalFark] 2009-11-04 03:09:03 PM  
Up yer butt Jobu.

 
pacified 2009-11-04 03:26:11 PM  
This ain't the California penal league

 
gmikes 2009-11-04 03:36:10 PM  
If it weren't for the fact that many pitchers are macho (c'mon-let's-see-you-hit this) guys and that many others aren't too bright, Ryan Howard would be Dave Kingman or Gorman Thomas. It may happen yet.

 
CUNextTuesday 2009-11-04 03:40:25 PM  
I only got one thing to say to you Vaughn. Strike this mother farker OUT.

 
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