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How Abraham's test of sacrificing his son really went down



 
Boritom
2009-11-03 10:19:32 AM


His son retaliated by having him shot in the head at Ford's Theater, right?

 
BigG
2009-11-03 10:55:18 AM


These guys always crack me the fark up. It's just the kind of comedy that wouldn't see light on day on US broadcast TV.

 
AnUncleverName
2009-11-03 10:57:52 AM


Boritom

Was that before or after the German's bombed Pearl Harbor?

 
Coelacanth
2009-11-03 11:04:01 AM


I wish I could find that old poem that started with, "C'mon Issac, let's go home..."

 
Grunhilde Gonzalez
2009-11-03 12:00:44 PM


"If your heart and brain are occupied with your own things, you are blind. When the Holly Spirit is poured into your heart, it will open your eyes and let you see the world in a completely different way. Always be peaceful, joyful, and thankful. "

/not my argument

 
ABQGOD
2009-11-03 12:12:25 PM


Abraham was excited to show his son Isaac his new computer.
"I'm afraid you don't have enough memory to support all your graphics, Dad." Isaac said.
"Have faith, my son" Abraham told him. "God will provide the RAM!"

 
BenJammin
2009-11-03 12:14:39 PM


I can't believe i sucked this stuff up as a guilable kid.

 
Krymson Tyde
2009-11-03 01:29:53 PM


Coelacanth: I wish I could find that old poem that started with, "C'mon Issac, let's go home..."

Was it a haiku?
C'mon Issac, let's go home
God said not to murder you
But cut your foreskin

Or maybe a limerick?
C'mon Issac, let's go home
It's just a little south of Rome
I've learned a new craft
I'll cut the end of your shaft
Then coat it with mercurochrome

 
Twigz221
2009-11-03 01:42:05 PM


The Mitchell and Webb Look is a great show.

/That's Numberwang!

 
schrankage
2009-11-03 02:01:53 PM


GOD IS NOT ONE TO BE MOCKED!!!!!!

 
ninjakirby
2009-11-03 02:40:01 PM


ABQGOD: Abraham was excited to show his son Isaac his new computer.
"I'm afraid you don't have enough memory to support all your graphics, Dad." Isaac said.
"Have faith, my son" Abraham told him. "God will provide the RAM!"


This'll kinda SRS up the thread a bit, but one of the most interesting cases of biblical interpretation I've ever read had to do with that passage.

Because the ancient languag it was written in has no capitalization or punctutation, where it is assigned in English is basically educated guesswork.

Alternate ways to express what Abraham says there really fundamentally alter the interpretation of Abraham as a character, and his relationship with his son.

IIRC, the change is something like "God will provide the lamb my son" versus "God will provide. The lamb is my son"

So it coems down to whether Abraham lied to his son, or they both went knowingly into the sacrifice. It's a huge interpretive change, and all because of a couple a periods.

 
Krymson Tyde
2009-11-03 03:18:02 PM


schrankage: GOD IS NOT ONE TO BE MOCKED!!!!!!

i232.photobucket.com

Agrees with you.

 
Klippoklondike
2009-11-03 05:07:56 PM


Greenland?

Whatever

 
apeiron242
2009-11-03 06:28:37 PM


If you ever get a chance, read The Book of Nod. It has an interesting turn on much of Genesis. It has a strong basis in the less accepted parts of "the good book".

Eve, for instance, was Adam's THIRD wife. Kane was a farmer, Abel was raised animals. God asked them to sacrifice what they loved most. Abel killed and burned his prize animal. Kane offered the best of his grains(there was implication that Kane was either vegetarian or pacifist). God was unhappy about this. Kane figured that what was most precious to him was Abel. So he killed Abel as his sacrifice. God didn't like that either. He wanted some animal to suffer and die.

 
TheSand
2009-11-03 06:44:15 PM


Twigz221: The Mitchell and Webb Look is a great show.

Came in to say this.

/That's numberwang!

 
Tyrone Slothrop
2009-11-03 07:33:40 PM


apeiron242

If you ever get a chance, read The Book of Nod. It has an interesting turn on much of Genesis. It has a strong basis in the less accepted parts of "the good book".

Eve, for instance, was Adam's THIRD wife. Kane was a farmer, Abel was raised animals. God asked them to sacrifice what they loved most. Abel killed and burned his prize animal. Kane offered the best of his grains(there was implication that Kane was either vegetarian or pacifist). God was unhappy about this. Kane figured that what was most precious to him was Abel. So he killed Abel as his sacrifice. God didn't like that either. He wanted some animal to suffer and die.


I've always thought that the story of Cain and Abel would make an amusing argument against vegetarianism.

/Hitler was a vegetarian. And he cried 96 tears, 'cause it's his party.

 
chopit
2009-11-03 08:15:21 PM


Oh God said to Abraham, "Kill me a son"
Abe says, "Man, you must be puttin' me on"
God say, "No." Abe say, "What?"
God say, "You can do what you want Abe, but
The next time you see me comin' you better run"
Well Abe says, "Where do you want this killin' done?"
God says, "Out on Highway 61."

 
Trielli
2009-11-03 10:16:00 PM


That's a good video, but i prefer Proof of no god (new window).

 
Baron Harkonnen
2009-11-04 08:13:39 AM


apeiron242
If you ever get a chance, read The Book of Nod. It has an interesting turn on much of Genesis. It has a strong basis in the less accepted parts of "the good book".

Eve, for instance, was Adam's THIRD wife. Kane was a farmer, Abel was raised animals. God asked them to sacrifice what they loved most. Abel killed and burned his prize animal. Kane offered the best of his grains(there was implication that Kane was either vegetarian or pacifist). God was unhappy about this. Kane figured that what was most precious to him was Abel. So he killed Abel as his sacrifice. God didn't like that either. He wanted some animal to suffer and die.


Yes, biblical exegesis from Vampire the Masquerade would provide interesting results, I'm sure.

/ugh

 
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