Man, I just learned some new words for "fun".

i never even heard of most of that crap.

She is an over achiever.

Is it Friday already?

I guess she won't have any trouble with baldness or erectile disfunction for a while...

She forgot the VALTREX

Holy shiat. I would take her into custody as a biohazard!

Didn't her pharmacist warn her about drug inter-actions?

Damn! How does one even get out bed that medicated?

I think its spelled "klonopin" btw. Just remember that from some of my classes...

once you have crack, what more do you need... well unless you run out of crack, then the hillbilly heroin comes in handy

/why does it seem people are always running out of crack

Geez, way to spell check reporter-like dude. Or maybe they are spelled right and they are the Mexican non-union equivalent of the real drugs ... who knows. Hell, most of those aren't even abusable.

But is she hot ?

kungfu jesus with a side of lime: once you have crack, what more do you need... well unless you run out of crack, then the hillbilly heroin comes in handy

/why does it seem people are always running out of crack

Once you smoke some crack you just want more crack.

Well she was sober enough to remember all of that. I say she's good to drive home.

Baklaphine sounds like a sex addicted Greek.

I take my hat off to her.
But, subby, how does a Massachusetts story earn a Florida tag?

I guess you just can't sedate that amount of stupid.

I don't get the joke in the headline, subby.

/fark has changed

So I wonder what her fark username is

A walking pharmacy she is

Sue Dunham: I take my hat off to her.
But, subby, how does a Massachusetts story earn a Florida tag?

In honor of Halloween, Massachusetts dressed up as Florida, complete with muumuu, jelly shoes, and beer hat.

/grandma?

So what's with the Florida tag? This was right in Massachusetts. But that is epic.

That grahzny ptitsa. Maybe had she viddied her environs or learned to yeckate like a dobby little prestoopnik, or even, dare I say, slow down at the Moloko, she wouldn't have been apprehended by the local millicents.

Bullshiat, no one on all that shiat could even come close to saying those words. Or stop long enough because the carpet is trying to eat her.

"She had a blood alcohol level of .088 percent and told the deputy she drank vodka, smoked crack and had taken Oxycodone, Clonopin, Baklaphine, Lirica, Tegradol, Paxcil, Dilantin and Lamiktal, reports say."

I can't believe the reporter didn't even bother to check the spelling of those drug names. The Florida excuse only goes so far.

Now that's one impressive load to have one board.

I've known people to be this nuts with drugs. Most of them are dead.
You could hit this girl with a trcuk and she'd keep on walking.

If true, goddamit, because there were times when otherwise good insurance refused me some good shiat I needed for bullshiat reasons. Being a crook is sometimes awesome.

jehovahs witness protection: She is an over achiever.

This!

Cue the Irish Rovers...

"Wasn't that a party!"

That woman needs to be studied, I bet her blood and liver have some interesting chemical combinations in it; probably can cure some diseases with that shiat.

Tegradol = Tegretol (Carbamazapine). It keeps my lame-ass seizures at bay, but isn't any more exciting a drug than, say, aspirin.

I wondered who had raided our medicine chest.

acronym: So I wonder what her fark username is

Not to mention I think we just identified David Crosby's 'secret' love child.

"After running over mailboxes and crashing into farm trailer"

I see someone has their grammar checker set to "Yakov Smirnoff."

We took morphine, diamorphine, cyclozine, codeine, temazepam, nitrezepam, phenobarbitone, sodium amytal dextropropoxyphene, methadone, nalbuphine, pethidine, pentazocine, buprenorphine, dextromoramide chlormethiazole. The streets are awash with drugs that you can have for unhappiness and pain, and we took them all. fark it, we would have injected Vitamin C if only they'd made it illegal.

detfrost1: That woman needs to be studied, I bet her blood and liver have some interesting chemical combinations in it; probably can cure some diseases with that shiat.

Plus she probably has 15 new ones.

darth_fluffyhead: Tegradol = Tegretol (Carbamazapine). It keeps my lame-ass seizures at bay, but isn't any more exciting a drug than, say, aspirin.

True, but when was the last time you tested it out for 'mix & match' potential for bonus side effects? Besides, doesn't that stuff give you the shakes slight trembling after a few years?

The Dread Pirate Robertson: "After running over mailboxes and crashing into farm trailer"

I see someone has their grammar checker set to "Yakov Smirnoff."

nonono, then she would have been run over by a mailbox and had a trailer crash into her.

Sue Dunham: I take my hat off to her.
But, subby, how does a Massachusetts story earn a Florida tag?

By being about an accident that took place in Florida, that's how. The article also mentioned a different woman, also from Florida, who crashed in Massacchusetts. Try reading it again, when you're sober.

/not subby

Thisbymaster: Bullshiat, no one on all that shiat could even come close to saying those words. Or stop long enough because the carpet is trying to eat her.

Once again, may I please refer you to David Crosby, of Crosby, Stills, & Nash fame?

/(huh huh huh... he said "refer"!)

Remember... Baklaphine = highly concentrated and refine baklava.

/TMYK

We had two bags of grass, seventy-five pellets of mescaline, five sheets of high-powered blotter acid, a saltshaker half-full of cocaine, and a whole galaxy of multi-colored uppers, downers, screamers, laughers... Also, a quart of tequila, a quart of rum, a case of beer, a pint of raw ether, and two dozen amyls. Not that we needed all that for the trip, but once you get into locked a serious drug collection, the tendency is to push it as far as you can. The only thing that really worried me was the ether. There is nothing in the world more helpless and irresponsible and depraved than a man in the depths of an ether binge, and I knew we'd get into that rotten stuff pretty soon.

Most of those are neurosuppressants used for seisure disorders. Klonopin (Clonazepam) is a derivative of Valium. She's got to be some kind of mutant or something to even be able to walk and talk with all that in her.

Diagnosis: Bipolar disorder and substance abuse disorder.
Diagnosis of reporter: Farkin' idiot.

Oxycodone-- We all know this one. Hardcore opioid.

Clonopin (Klonopin) -- Benzo, ie "downer."

Baklaphine (Baclofen) -- Muscle relaxer, antispasmodic. Not scheduled, but does have a little abuse potential.

Lirica (Lyrica) -- Usually used for neuropathic pain, but I've seen it used for everything from anxiety to opioid withdrawl pain. Scheduled; has abuse potential mostly for potentiating benzos.

Tegradol (tegretol) -- Non-scheduled, low abuse potential. Mostly used for seizure and second line for bipolar disorder.

Paxcil (Paxil) -- Non-scheduled. No abuse potential. SSRI antidepressant. Depression and social anxiety.

Dilantin -- Non-scheduled. Low abuse potential. Used for a lot of things, but usually for seizures and very rarely bipolar.

Lamiktal (Lamictal) -- Non-scheduled. No abuse potential. Used for seizure and bipolar disorder. Notable for possibility of causing a fatal rash if dosing titration isn't followed.

/Haven't have coffee. Please excuse any invocation of Skitt's law.

she told u she was hardcore

Blipvert: Remember... Baklaphine = highly concentrated and refine baklava.

/TMYK

First two hits from a GIS for "Bakalva Drug Habit":

As someone who's been on 4 of those meds, I'm really getting a kick out of these replies.

/took correctly spelled versions
//not at the same time

Kelly Farrell, or Kelly Jane when she's in trouble, grew up in the northern states of Ohio, Michigan, New York and Massachusetts. She attended as many colleges, beginning at Detroit College of Business, then Macomb Community college, then Wayne State University before finally earning a B.A. at the University of Massachusetts, Amherst. Not quite fitting in anywhere, she made up her own degree with an individual concentration in professional writing and photography.

Her career has not been vast but it has been varied, from bus driving to business management, landscaping and house painting.

She began freelancing at her first newspaper at age 19 in Romeo, Mich., and squeezed her foot back in the journalism door locally at the Collier Citizen. She's currently a staff writer and visual journalist at the Marco Eagle.


She made up her own degree, people. Should have stuck with howse Pinting.

picture here:
http://www.naplesnews.com/staff/kelly_farrell/

No, she's not hot.

whooptydo: Now that's one impressive load to have one board bored.

/Sorry, pet peeve.