If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.
Fark SearchWeb Fark

         more options... Create account

(3 News New Zealand) Strange In an alternate universe, Metallica's Cliff Burton was replaced by Hulk Hogan. 'I would have quit wrestling in a heartbeat to be a bass player for Metallica'   (3news.co.nz) divider line 70
More: Strange, Hulk Hogan, Metallica, Cliff Burton, Master of Puppets, bass, Mick Jagger, Jason Newsted Replaced, real name  
•       •       •

3448 clicks; posted to Showbiz » on 03 Nov 2009 at 3:05 AM   |  Make this a Fark FavoriteFavorite    |   share: Share on OMGTWITTER WEB2.0share on StumbleUponshare on Facebook  more»   |    Get this fabulous T-Shirt and impress the methane out of your friends! shirt it!

70 Comments   (+0 »)


First | « | 1 | 2 | » | Last | Show all
 
spidermann [TotalFark] 2009-11-03 03:08:08 AM  
Hogan can play a mean bass. He isn't Burton quality, but he can play.

 
Fonaibung 2009-11-03 03:08:48 AM  
So he'd have pretended to pluck the strings, and all of his solos would be predictable and poorly executed, with no psychological buildup?

 
chemical_angel [TotalFark] 2009-11-03 03:16:19 AM  
Most importantly ... Hulk Hogan would have died years ago under a bus. I support this.

 
spumco 2009-11-03 03:26:21 AM  
If he could have killed them all before they became Skynyrd 2000. Just listening to their first 3 albums and the crap they did after, man, so sad.

 
WarningMayContainPeanuts 2009-11-03 03:32:09 AM  
images.southparkstudios.com

 
King Something [TotalFark] 2009-11-03 03:48:02 AM  
[This post has been removed due to a copyright claim by World Wildlife Fund]

 
Mad_Radhu 2009-11-03 03:52:57 AM  
It would have been a bad thing for the band. They were just recovering from the Lars/Napster debacle in September 2001, so I don't think the band would have survived the outrage of the Hulkster destroying the Twin Towers.

 
colatf [TotalFark] 2009-11-03 05:38:09 AM  
Just keep him the hell away from the mic during shows. "Let me tell you something, brother, all you crazy Hulkamaniacs who bought tickets to see me, you're the best, brother."

 
FritztheCat 2009-11-03 05:39:02 AM  
img41.imageshack.us

 
colatf [TotalFark] 2009-11-03 05:39:45 AM  
Also, he quit wrestling in 1983. He has had hundreds of matches since then.

 
Recoil Therapy [TotalFark] 2009-11-03 07:27:38 AM  
Cliff graduated 2 years ahead of me from our high school for those of you looking for your useless bit of trivia for the day.

/got nothing obviously
//Mad-Radhu - 1 internet to you, that was funny

 
Mister Peejay 2009-11-03 07:33:22 AM  
In an alternate universe, the bus didn't crash.

Send me CDs from there plz

 
Third Day Mark 2009-11-03 08:11:46 AM  
And the joke is, Hogan is pretty good.

 
scotzrewl 2009-11-03 08:38:33 AM  
Les Claypool auditioned for Metallica after Burton died.

/Useless bit of trivia.

 
Pants full of macaroni!! 2009-11-03 08:39:41 AM  
Does this mean we'll hear Met covering "I Am a Real American"?

 
TheSouthernCrow 2009-11-03 08:47:00 AM  
[This post has been removed due to a copyright claim by World Wildlife Fund]



Done!!!
I was going to make a joke about lady wrestler LuFisto also being a bassist but nothing I could say would top this.

 
johan heggs tiny man nipples 2009-11-03 09:34:40 AM  
Mister Peejay Quote 2009-11-03 07:33:22 AM
In an alternate universe, the bus didn't crash.
Lars died.
Send me CDs from there plz


FTFY

 
GibbyTheMole 2009-11-03 09:35:53 AM  
Former wrestling star Hulk Hogan has confessed he almost quit the ring to become Metallica's bass player.

"When Metallica was looking for a bass player, I called and never heard a word back from them. I would have quit wrestling in a heartbeat to be a bass player for Metallica."


So no... He didn't "almost quit the ring to become Metallica's bass player.". They didn't want him. Big difference.

 
rocky_howard 2009-11-03 09:55:44 AM  
GibbyTheMole: Former wrestling star Hulk Hogan has confessed he almost quit the ring to become Metallica's bass player.

"When Metallica was looking for a bass player, I called and never heard a word back from them. I would have quit wrestling in a heartbeat to be a bass player for Metallica."

So no... He didn't "almost quit the ring to become Metallica's bass player.". They didn't want him. Big difference.


Of course they didn't want him. With Hogan in the band, James' gimmick as the teutonic behemoth gets severely diminished if not destroyed :P

 
IdBeCrazyIf 2009-11-03 09:57:51 AM  
spumco: If he could have killed them all before they became Skynyrd 2000. Just listening to their first 3 albums and the crap they did after, man, so sad.

Load wasn't THAT bad and the Black album is arguably one of their best next to Master of Puppets. But you have to admit that the teaming was the Orchestra was pretty damn good, even if it was metal light.

Fact of the matter, Lars needs to get back in the closet and James needs to get back on the sauce.

 
Rev. Skarekroe [TotalFark] 2009-11-03 10:07:28 AM  
IdBeCrazyIf: Load wasn't THAT bad and the Black album is arguably one of their best next to Master of Puppets. But you have to admit that the teaming was the Orchestra was pretty damn good, even if it was metal light.

How more wrong could you be?
The answer is none. None more wrong.

 
IdBeCrazyIf 2009-11-03 10:17:04 AM  
Rev. Skarekroe: How more wrong could you be?
The answer is none. None more wrong.


I don't throw my flag in with the purists that all metal needs to be played at lightning speeds or louder than everything.

Lemmy was and always will be right... its all rock and roll. And you cannot disagree with Lemmy.. because Lemmy is God.

 
ArthGuinness 2009-11-03 10:26:22 AM  
King Something: [This post has been removed due to a copyright claim by World Wildlife Fund]

I need one of those "at first I was like ..." "and then I was all ..." pictures.

 
GibbyTheMole 2009-11-03 10:26:55 AM  
rocky_howard

Of course they didn't want him. With Hogan in the band, James' gimmick as the teutonic behemoth gets severely diminished if not destroyed :P

Ha! True, dat.

 
ArthGuinness 2009-11-03 10:26:57 AM  
Mad_Radhu: It would have been a bad thing for the band. They were just recovering from the Lars/Napster debacle in September 2001, so I don't think the band would have survived the outrage of the Hulkster destroying the Twin Towers.

+1

 
LeroyBourne 2009-11-03 10:43:00 AM  
I chuckled a bit when he kept trying to get his stuff out there, but never heard a word back from anyone. woop woop!

 
Coelacanth 2009-11-03 10:50:22 AM  
Singer Debbie Harry wanted to become a professional wrestler and begged Vince McMahon to let her join the WWF, but the Fabulous Moolah put a stop to that.

 
phartnocker 2009-11-03 10:51:29 AM  
spidermann: Hogan can play a mean bass. He isn't Burton quality, but he can play.

I'm going to need some evidence of this. I can't find any so I'm putting the aonus on you.

 
frepnog 2009-11-03 10:59:33 AM  
IdBeCrazyIf: Rev. Skarekroe: How more wrong could you be?
The answer is none. None more wrong.

I don't throw my flag in with the purists that all metal needs to be played at lightning speeds or louder than everything.

Lemmy was and always will be right... its all rock and roll. And you cannot disagree with Lemmy.. because Lemmy is God.


I pretty much agree. I love the song "King Nothing", I love the song "Fuel", the Black Album is pretty great overall barring one or two tracks (Don't Tread on Me for instance is a pile of suck). Honestly, if Metallica had made one good record out of Load and Reload instead of two mediocre rock albums, they would not be nearly so trashed on. Oh, St. Anger just sucks ass, by the way.

 
Great_Milenko 2009-11-03 11:05:14 AM  
Mister Peejay: In an alternate universe, the bus didn't crash.

Send me CDs from there plz


yes please.

 
Great_Milenko 2009-11-03 11:07:50 AM  
GibbyTheMole: Former wrestling star Hulk Hogan has confessed he almost quit the ring to become Metallica's bass player.

"When Metallica was looking for a bass player, I called and never heard a word back from them. I would have quit wrestling in a heartbeat to be a bass player for Metallica."

So no... He didn't "almost quit the ring to become Metallica's bass player.". They didn't want him. Big difference.


I doubt they took him very seriously.

It would have never worked, no matter how good a bass player Hogan may be. No one would have taken them seriously.

Still, one has to wonder...

 
DantheApe [TotalFark] 2009-11-03 11:17:56 AM  
"When it comes crashin down and it hurts insiiiiiiiide" done on the Metallica S&M album would have been....different.

 
DantheApe [TotalFark] 2009-11-03 11:19:08 AM  
I am a real American, Fight for the rights of every man,
I am a real American, fight for what's right, fight for your life!

When it comes crashing down, and it hurts inside,
ya' gotta take a stand, it don't help to hide,
Well, you hurt my friends, and you hurt my pride,
I gotta be a man; I can't let it slide,
I am a real American, Fight for the rights of every man,
I am a real American, fight for what's right, fight for your life!

I feel strong about right and wrong,
And I don't take trouble for very long,
I got something deep inside of me, and courage is the thing that keeps us free,
I am a real American, Fight for the rights of every man,
I am a real American, fight for what's right, fight for your life!

Well you hurt my friends, and you hurt my pride,
I gotta be a man; I can't let it slide,
I am a real American, Fight for the rights of every man,
I am a real American, fight for what's right, fight for your life!
I am a real American, Fight for the rights of every man,
I am a real American, fight for what's right, fight for your life!

 
motherbuster 2009-11-03 11:22:53 AM  
IdBeCrazyIf: But you have to admit that the teaming was the Orchestra was pretty damn good, even if it was metal light.


I just re-listened to S&M the other day. When I was 19 I thought it was a great record, as the band's early songwriting sometimes evokes multi-sectional classical scoring. What I realized a decade later was how sparingly the orchestra was actually used. At most, we often wind up with the string section sustaining a note or two behind songs played exactly the same way they always are. I can't name more than a handful of spots where I even recall hearing the brass, woodwind, or percussion sections at all. The project basically followed the formula: Metallica + poorly used strings = a band past its prime walking around swinging their dicks because they think they "classed it up."

For a great example of what an orchestra can do for a hard rock band, check out the Scorpions album Moment of Glory, featuring the Berlin Philharmonic.

 
IdBeCrazyIf 2009-11-03 11:29:47 AM  
frepnog: Oh, St. Anger just sucks ass, by the way.

I think everyone can universally agree that album was suck.

Death Magnetic is much better, but IMHO while everyone praises it as a return for the band. More credit should go to Rick Rubin for boiling down what's left of the band into a syrupy consistency that reminds you of what the bad was with Justice for All.

Which is a good thing really. Rick Rubin is a great producer and definitely something they needed at this point.

 
ibanez122 [TotalFark] 2009-11-03 11:40:46 AM  
IdBeCrazyIf: frepnog: Oh, St. Anger just sucks ass, by the way.

I think everyone can universally agree that album was suck.

Death Magnetic is much better, but IMHO while everyone praises it as a return for the band. More credit should go to Rick Rubin for boiling down what's left of the band into a syrupy consistency that reminds you of what the bad was with Justice for All.

Which is a good thing really. Rick Rubin is a great producer and definitely something they needed at this point.


I agree. I like DM, but they are a long ways away from what they once were (obviously)..Bob Rock was the worst thing to happen to that band me thinks

 
vort3xxx 2009-11-03 11:54:20 AM  
This could be just the thing they need to make the abrupt babyface turn that they've been wanting to make for all these years. They could start wearing red white & blue spandex on all tours.

I suggest getting Ben Folds to produce the next album... he seems to be good at that kind of stuff.

 
slypig 2009-11-03 12:02:28 PM  
Not sure how much of a 'mean bass' it is...

Link (new window)

 
MaxTigar 2009-11-03 12:31:33 PM  
I had the Black album (I mean, who didn't) but S&M introduced me to their earlier stuff. I then picked up all the rest of their albums. I love them all. They each show range and a unique feel. While I admit I only care for a couple songs off of St. Anger, I did respect them for trying something new.

But Death Magnetic is freaking awesome! I bought it the day it came out and that thing didn't leave the player for months. For me, it is the culmination of all that has come before it. I can hear the ripping guitar from Justice, the great melodies from Load-Reload, some of the "trach can" drums from Anger and there is a good deal of bass for Robert to sink his teeth into. Plus the track list lets you go for a ride, kicking your teeth in 90 seconds in and then slows it down a little on the 4th. It then jams thru 5 & 6. A power ballad for 7th, then moves to a kick ass instrumental and then goes out with a bang!

/hulk would have been a bad idea
//too much of a gimick

 
IdBeCrazyIf 2009-11-03 12:35:08 PM  
MaxTigar: there is a good deal of bass for Robert to sink his teeth into

You can thank Rubin for that one, he knew his time in Black Label Society would come in handy.

 
whizbangthedirtfarmer 2009-11-03 01:00:51 PM  
motherbuster: IdBeCrazyIf: But you have to admit that the teaming was the Orchestra was pretty damn good, even if it was metal light.


I just re-listened to S&M the other day. When I was 19 I thought it was a great record, as the band's early songwriting sometimes evokes multi-sectional classical scoring. What I realized a decade later was how sparingly the orchestra was actually used. At most, we often wind up with the string section sustaining a note or two behind songs played exactly the same way they always are. I can't name more than a handful of spots where I even recall hearing the brass, woodwind, or percussion sections at all. The project basically followed the formula: Metallica + poorly used strings = a band past its prime walking around swinging their dicks because they think they "classed it up."

For a great example of what an orchestra can do for a hard rock band, check out the Scorpions album Moment of Glory, featuring the Berlin Philharmonic.


Or any number of Scandinavian black metal albums that have orchestras, conductors, or synths running through their songs. I was amused by the number of people that WERE AMAZED that Metallica was playing with an orchestra! Yeah, but other groups have been doing it for what, 15 years?

 
poot_rootbeer 2009-11-03 01:03:22 PM  
TheSouthernCrow: I was going to make a joke about lady wrestler LuFisto also being a bassist

What about Sting?
And Sid Vicious?

 
poot_rootbeer 2009-11-03 01:07:24 PM  
The orchestration for "S&M" was done by Michael Kamen, who was best known for:
1. "The Trial" from Pink Floyd's The Wall
2. co-writing Bryan Adams' "Everything I Do"

So you knew going into it that it'd be a crapshoot.

 
poot_rootbeer 2009-11-03 01:08:04 PM  
Also, guys: Rob Trujillo has been a member of Metallica longer than Cliff ever was. True.

 
dholway [TotalFark] 2009-11-03 01:26:40 PM  
I prefer Black Francis as de basser.

 
NorCalLos 2009-11-03 01:37:45 PM  
poot_rootbeer: Also, guys: Rob Trujillo has been a member of Metallica longer than Cliff ever was. True.

...and G. W. Bush was President of The United States of America like three times as long as JFK. Your point?

 
LucklessWonder 2009-11-03 01:39:43 PM  
poot_rootbeer: Also, guys: Rob Trujillo has been a member of Metallica longer than Cliff ever was. True.

So was Jason Newkid

 
HeartBurnKid 2009-11-03 01:49:02 PM  
IdBeCrazyIf: spumco: If he could have killed them all before they became Skynyrd 2000. Just listening to their first 3 albums and the crap they did after, man, so sad.

Load wasn't THAT bad and the Black album is arguably one of their best next to Master of Puppets. But you have to admit that the teaming was the Orchestra was pretty damn good, even if it was metal light.

Fact of the matter, Lars needs to get back in the closet and James needs to get back on the sauce.


Nah, me, I think they're on the right course. Death Magnetic was their best album since Black.

 
Architecture Of Aggression 2009-11-03 02:26:38 PM  
IdBeCrazyIf: MaxTigar: there is a good deal of bass for Robert to sink his teeth into

You can thank Rubin for that one, he knew his time in Black Label Society would come in handy.


a much better, much more creative and listen-to-able band would like a word and a dark alley with you.

 
IdBeCrazyIf 2009-11-03 02:35:47 PM  
whizbangthedirtfarmer: Or any number of Scandinavian black metal albums that have orchestras, conductors, or synths running through their songs. I was amused by the number of people that WERE AMAZED that Metallica was playing with an orchestra! Yeah, but other groups have been doing it for what, 15 years?

I didnt' mean it like that, it was more of a nod that it was pretty well done and even if the orchestra was down played the entire album the set they played was extraordinarily well done. Done well enough that perhaps it would get newer audiences involved into the whole euro metal scene with its entire flavors contained there in.

Course they've always been able to put on a good show and as stated before, Michael Kamen is always a crapshoot.

Architecture Of Aggression: a much better, much more creative and listen-to-able band would like a word and a dark alley with you.

Not everyone can ride the lightning of success nor promotion, but the fact of the matter is the Rick knows how to polish a good album to a crystal sheen.

Less you forget where Rick came from before he was big too... Def Jam records. Indie label and all that jazz.

 
Displayed 50 of 70 comments

First | « | 1 | 2 | » | Last | Show all


[Continue Farking]