(PhysOrg.com) Scientists prove that new rift in Ethiopia is beginning of a new ocean. Ethiopian ministries announce immediate new coastal developments: Costa Del Lex, Luthorville, Marina Del Lex, Otisburg... Otisburg?
Drunk-ass Evil Superman from Superman III approves of your awesome headline, subs!
/+1
This reminds me of a very old joke:
After a long day at the office, Bob goes to a roof-top bar. After taking a seat, he notices that the man sitting next to him is staring fiercely at a shot of whiskey. A few seconds pass, then the stranger downs the shot, leaps from his bar-stool, runs to the edge of the roof and jumps off.
Bob is horrified, but, seconds later, the elevator dings, and the stranger emerges completely unharmed.
The stranger reclaims his seat, orders another shot, stares at it, downs it, then jumps up, runs to the edge of the roof and jumps off again.
Seconds later, DING. The elevator opens, and the man emerges unharmed.
Before the stranger can order another shot, Bob stops him.
"How do you do that?"
The stranger gives Bob a long look. He says, "The trick is in the whiskey. It thins the blood just enough. You float to the ground like a feather."
Bob is skeptical. "Come on."
The stranger throws up his arms. "You need to see it again? Bartender, another shot."
The shot comes, the stranger downs it, runs to the edge, throws himself off, and moments later comes out of the elevator without a scratch.
He sidles up to the bar, looks at Bob and says, "Now you."
Bob takes a deep breath. The bartender puts a shot in front of him.
Bob stares at it. The stranger says, "You have to believe."
Bob says, "I believe."
Stranger: "No, really believe."
Bob: "I believe!"
Stranger: "No, damn it! You have to BELIEVE!"
Bob shouts, "I BELIEVE!"
He downs the shot, runs to the edge, throws himself off, and plummets. Splat! Dead.
Back on the rooftop, the bartender looks at the stranger and says, "You know, you can be a real asshole when you drink, Superman."
First Robert: Is this the furthest distance that a minister has fallen? Robert.
(Cut to Robert.)
Second Robert: Well surprisingly not. The Canadian Minister for External Affairs fell nearly seven miles during a Liberal Conference in Ottawa about six years ago, and then quite recently the Kenyan Ethiopian Minister for Agric. and Fish fell nearly twelve miles during a Nairobi debate in Parliament, although this hasn't been ratified yet.
If I read the article correctly, are the scientists saying that because of what they see here they think the same thing could happen at the same rate at the bottom of the ocean? What about the enormous pressure down there? Wouldn't a rift naturally happen at a quicker pace without that huge ass normal force known as the ocean pressing down on it?
I mean, here is what this plays like in my head, but I'm no expert - couldn't this event theoretically solve the whole 'global warming, world floods, etc'
all we'd have to do is direct the extra sea levels to go here, and then boom, its good, right? :P
I read the poster first Britney Spear's Speculum and then looked at the picture. It took me a while to figure out that it was a giant gaping man eating hole....in the ground.
Jesus Farking Christ thats a big hole in the ground. I thought the sinkholes here in Florida were bad. Man. If you live in Ethiopia you've got it pretty rough.
Abagadro
2009-11-02 10:46:13 PM
Mentat
2009-11-02 10:58:58 PM
Much love for Miss Teschmacher, especially after the pool scene.
DarthBrooks
2009-11-02 11:02:10 PM
[looks at wristwatch, shakes head]
caribou
2009-11-02 11:07:37 PM
Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener
2009-11-02 11:20:50 PM
Drunk-ass Evil Superman from Superman III approves of your awesome headline, subs!
/+1
elvisaintdead
2009-11-02 11:20:51 PM
Through extensive CBO's , LBO's and junk bonds I corned the condo market in Otisburg....
Mentat
2009-11-03 12:22:37 AM
Drunk-ass Evil Superman from Superman III approves of your awesome headline, subs!
/+1
Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener
2009-11-03 12:31:22 AM
The "Bizarro Kanye Interruption" thing is ACES, Mentat!
Outshined_One
2009-11-03 12:51:36 AM
Karl Bacardi
2009-11-03 01:42:05 AM
Drunk-ass Evil Superman from Superman III approves of your awesome headline, subs!
/+1
This reminds me of a very old joke:
After a long day at the office, Bob goes to a roof-top bar. After taking a seat, he notices that the man sitting next to him is staring fiercely at a shot of whiskey. A few seconds pass, then the stranger downs the shot, leaps from his bar-stool, runs to the edge of the roof and jumps off.
Bob is horrified, but, seconds later, the elevator dings, and the stranger emerges completely unharmed.
The stranger reclaims his seat, orders another shot, stares at it, downs it, then jumps up, runs to the edge of the roof and jumps off again.
Seconds later, DING. The elevator opens, and the man emerges unharmed.
Before the stranger can order another shot, Bob stops him.
"How do you do that?"
The stranger gives Bob a long look. He says, "The trick is in the whiskey. It thins the blood just enough. You float to the ground like a feather."
Bob is skeptical. "Come on."
The stranger throws up his arms. "You need to see it again? Bartender, another shot."
The shot comes, the stranger downs it, runs to the edge, throws himself off, and moments later comes out of the elevator without a scratch.
He sidles up to the bar, looks at Bob and says, "Now you."
Bob takes a deep breath. The bartender puts a shot in front of him.
Bob stares at it. The stranger says, "You have to believe."
Bob says, "I believe."
Stranger: "No, really believe."
Bob: "I believe!"
Stranger: "No, damn it! You have to BELIEVE!"
Bob shouts, "I BELIEVE!"
He downs the shot, runs to the edge, throws himself off, and plummets. Splat! Dead.
Back on the rooftop, the bartender looks at the stranger and says, "You know, you can be a real asshole when you drink, Superman."
GranoblasticMan
2009-11-03 02:51:29 AM
Militant lesbians in Ethiopia?
Britney Spear's Speculum
2009-11-03 02:57:15 AM
GypsyJoker
2009-11-03 02:57:19 AM
(Cut to Robert.)
Second Robert: Well surprisingly not. The Canadian Minister for External Affairs fell nearly seven miles during a Liberal Conference in Ottawa about six years ago, and then quite recently the
KenyanEthiopian Minister for Agric. and Fish fell nearly twelve miles during a Nairobi debate in Parliament, although this hasn't been ratified yet.Speedbts alt
2009-11-03 03:15:15 AM
If I read the article correctly, are the scientists saying that because of what they see here they think the same thing could happen at the same rate at the bottom of the ocean? What about the enormous pressure down there? Wouldn't a rift naturally happen at a quicker pace without that huge ass normal force known as the ocean pressing down on it?
Britney Spear's Speculum
2009-11-03 03:54:16 AM
Of course! I just googled "subby's mom" and sho-nuff it was the 1st result.
pacmanner
2009-11-03 04:42:18 AM
Doctor Jan Itor
2009-11-03 05:06:31 AM
MysteryMachine
2009-11-03 06:44:20 AM
Elmo Jones
2009-11-03 07:23:24 AM
/+2
kwirlkarphys
2009-11-03 08:10:14 AM
I mean, here is what this plays like in my head, but I'm no expert - couldn't this event theoretically solve the whole 'global warming, world floods, etc'
all we'd have to do is direct the extra sea levels to go here, and then boom, its good, right? :P
howdyyall9999
2009-11-03 09:00:23 AM
gshepnyc
2009-11-03 09:02:13 AM
nmdrkangl
2009-11-03 09:14:20 AM
Third Day Mark
2009-11-03 09:31:04 AM
you have pee hands
2009-11-03 09:34:24 AM