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(Contact Music) Hero Ashlee Simpson gives up music. Our long national nightmare is over   (contactmusic.com) divider line 27
More: Hero, Jessica Simpson, Pete Wentz, Melrose Place, Fall Out Boy, Bronx, executive producer, Todd Slavkin, sake  
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3141 clicks; posted to Music » on 02 Nov 2009 at 7:06 PM   |  Make this a Fark FavoriteFavorite    |   share: Share on OMGTWITTER WEB2.0share on StumbleUponshare on Facebook  more»   |    Get this fabulous T-Shirt and impress the methane out of your friends! shirt it!

27 Comments   (+0 »)


 
HaywoodJablonski [TotalFark] 2009-11-02 06:17:07 PM  
Some say she never started

/You make me wanna... SCREEEEEEEEAAAAAM
//BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

 
thomps [TotalFark] 2009-11-02 06:24:36 PM  
having been forced to watch a couple episodes of melrose place, i hope for her sake she's not quitting to further pursue her acting career.

 
AdolfOliverPanties [TotalFark] 2009-11-02 06:35:01 PM  
She is doing it to get into acting. She is one of those pre-packaged starlet coonts who thinks Hollywood owes her a career. Her sister Jessica, who recently considered moving to England and having her body converted into pounds, tweeted the following:

"CW catching up on MP.who writes this crap?i have had bad scripts to work with,but this?thank God my sister is amazing and got you some press (sic)."

See, she has a problem with the writing on Melrose Place. This is the girl who starred in the dazzling film adaptation of "The Dukes of Hazzard," which was great, but absolute crap compared to her deserving-of-an-Oscar starring role in "Major Movie Star," which in a brilliant studio marketing move, went directly to DVD so many more people could enjoy it instantly in their homes.

 
HappyHarryHardOn [TotalFark] 2009-11-02 06:52:19 PM  
nymag.com

Everybody's got a Jessica Simpson fantasy.

Here's mine: "Hey, Jessica, hold your sister down so I can kick her in the throat"

 
Obnox [recently expired TotalFark] 2009-11-02 07:04:59 PM  
AdolfOliverPanties: Her sister Jessica, who recently considered moving to England and having her body converted into pounds, tweeted the following

For a second there, I thought you were copping to following Jessica Simpson on twitter.

 
AboveTheStarsOfGod 2009-11-02 07:19:35 PM  
If her douche of a husband follows her lead then all will be forgiven, and, after the mandatory probationary period, the fatwa against her will be withdrawn.

 
Ant 2009-11-02 07:21:27 PM  
Giving up? When did she start?

 
Speedbts alt 2009-11-02 07:26:08 PM  
thomps: having been forced to watch a couple episodes of melrose place, i hope for her sake she's not quitting to further pursue her acting career.

Ummm. You might want to sit down for this...

 
Atomic Spunk 2009-11-02 07:33:41 PM  
I love her ho-down.

 
davidphogan [TotalFark] 2009-11-02 07:58:31 PM  
Ashlee Simpson-Wentz is giving up music for the sake of her 11-month-old son, Bronx

I never thought I'd appreciate the child of a celebrity.

 
milehighstar 2009-11-02 07:59:13 PM  
You have to know how to play music to quit music. Otherwise you are a hack.

 
Land Ark [TotalFark] 2009-11-02 07:59:57 PM  
I'll admit it, I used to think she was cute. Talented, no.

www.contactmusic.com
This pic made me go: "Heeeeey there!"

www.contactmusic.com
This pic made me go: "Wooooooah there! Uh..."

 
Seth'n'Spectrum 2009-11-02 08:02:29 PM  
AdolfOliverPanties: having her body converted into pounds

wait, how do you do this. I need money for food and to pay off the loan sharks (my flatmate).

 
TeddyRooseveltsMustache [TotalFark] 2009-11-02 08:15:15 PM  
For the sake of her son? How about for the sake of everyone who hates her (which is everyone except her idiot husband).

 
ParadisePornoTheater 2009-11-02 08:28:10 PM  
Will she go into fashion next? She'll probably fark that one up, too.

 
Efferus X 2009-11-02 08:41:36 PM  
Is that her Halloween costume or does she usually look like a walking skeleton bag?

I somehow don't remember her looking that ghoulish....cocaine is a hell ova' drug!

 
WeezinTheJuice [TotalFark] 2009-11-02 09:24:44 PM  
www.mtv.com

 
itazurakko [TotalFark] 2009-11-02 10:50:45 PM  
WeezinTheJuice - EXACTLY. She was good in that!

Meanwhile, I learned from TFA that there's some kid out there saddled with the name "Bronx Wentz." Poor kid...

 
Juney 2009-11-02 11:57:47 PM  
I didn't realize that she was married with a son. At least she's married first! I really fail at being a girl when it comes to gossip, shoes, and carrying a purse.

 
jaundice_joplin 2009-11-03 12:03:30 AM  
Ant: Giving up? When did she start?

Giving up? When diiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiidddddddddddd sshhhshshshshshshhshseeeeeeeee ststststststststsaaaaaarrrrrrtrtrtrtrtrtrtrtrtrt???????



thank you!

 
T-Luv 2009-11-03 12:41:15 AM  
That's like me saying I'm going to quit trying to be a professional football player to focus on being an astronaut.

 
simon bennet robbins oppenhiem and tap 2009-11-03 12:45:38 AM  
I guess Jessica got al the talent in that family. She has a knack for staying in the spotlight without a tv show or record.

Maybe this is to get back at daddy for not remarking on her boobs.

 
ModernLuddite 2009-11-03 01:10:40 AM  
Didn't she have a reality show about her music before her music even came out?

That was definitely a top 10 in the "absurd pop culture circle jerk" list.

 
srhp29 2009-11-03 02:19:44 AM  
itazurakko: Meanwhile, I learned from TFA that there's some kid out there saddled with the name "Bronx Wentz." Poor kid...

Translated to be...Bronx Douche...Oh, he's a Yankees fan.

 
MBrady 2009-11-03 09:13:15 AM  
FTA: If she had an album, she'd have to tour and be away from Bronx.

Psst..did you know that you could bring your love child with you while you tour "playing" and "singing" your "music."

 
TopherKersting [TotalFark] 2009-11-03 09:55:48 AM  
I was at the Orange Bowl where she howled horribly.

It's taken years of therapy to get over it.

 
Superjoe 2009-11-03 11:53:45 AM  
Don't worry, the corporate executives who hand picked her already have half a dozen girls lined up to replace her, and had the middle-aged male songwriters carefully put every cliched line possible into their songs.

 
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