lol- Bible vandalism.

Well, now that the general populace has received this information, I can only conclude the practice will minimized or stop completely.

MplsMedic: lol- Bible vandalism.



/Oblig

Go ahead and try that with the Qur'an, I dare ya!

Now how will sinners know what kind of disgusting, abhorrent behaviors to avoid? I mean, eating pork or shrimp is absolutely disgusting, as is the wearing of clothing with mixed fibers.

Also, the bible is the perfect word of God! It says it RIGHT THERE IN THE BIBLE!

////trolling, incase someone thinks I'm serious

Submitter writes like Jeff Foxworthy.

It's obvious that some portions of the bible were altered. For example, the "let he who is without sin cast the first stone" part wasn't found in early copies of the bible - it was only found in later copies. So, I won't say the bible is flawless.

However, you don't get to pick and choose what to keep just because you don't agree with it.

Modest Proposal: Submitter writes like Jeff Foxworthy.

BURN.

Software2: It's obvious that some portions of the bible were altered. For example, the "let he who is without sin cast the first stone" part wasn't found in early copies of the bible - it was only found in later copies. So, I won't say the bible is flawless.

However, you don't get to pick and choose what to keep just because you don't agree with it.

Yeah! If you wanna do that you gotta be Mormon.

Software2: It's obvious that some portions of the bible were altered. For example, the "let he who is without sin cast the first stone" part wasn't found in early copies of the bible - it was only found in later copies. So, I won't say the bible is flawless.

However, you don't get to pick and choose what to keep just because you don't agree with it.

You HAVE to, the darn thing contradicts itself.

Software2: However, you don't get to pick and choose what to keep just because you don't agree with it.

I assuume you're an Orthodox Jew, keep the Sabbath and kosher, etc?

/Anyone else think of Locomotive Breath?

Hmm, I had no idea Ian McKellen did that. I've been ripping Leviticus out of hotel bibles for years. I smoked a few blunts with Leviticus from my home bible.

And if your hotel room's Gideon Bible has checked out, you're sleeping in Rocky Raccoon's bed.

Software2:
However, you don't get to pick and choose what to keep just because you don't agree with it.

Says who? I'm an adult, excuse me if I make my own choices about my religious beliefs. I don't recall the passage where God says you have to follow the bible word for word.

NobleHam: Hmm, I had no idea Ian McKellen did that. I've been ripping Leviticus out of hotel bibles for years. I smoked a few blunts with Leviticus from my home bible.

Is the ink ok for you? I wouldn't just go putting any old thing in my body. I remember hearing once that some people have died from smoking certain tree barks. Urban legend and all...

The Levites were a bunch of sick farks, smearing animal blood around during their rituals because it "pleased the LORD", but then decreed that women were unclean because they "bled" one a month, even though their wonderful yahh-way supposedly created 'em that way.

They practically invented Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder.

Some all-powerful and all-wise deity you have there, theists.

NobleHam: I don't recall the passage where God says you have to follow the bible word for word.

It's probably in Leviticus.

Tommy Moo:
Is the ink ok for you? I wouldn't just go putting any old thing in my body. I remember hearing once that some people have died from smoking certain tree barks. Urban legend and all...

I doubt it's any worse for you than the carbon in the paper. In any case, I'm still alive 4 years later.

Unfortunately, due to my non-religious upbringing, I don't think I could find anything in a bible, much less a specific passage I want to remove.

Devolving_Spud: Also, the bible is the perfect word of God! It says it RIGHT THERE IN THE BIBLE!

I had an epiphany this morning, while looking through my GF's copy of Ayaan Hirsi Ali's book. I read about how angry men used the Koran to justify treating women like bipedal livestock with no human rights, and then used the same Koran to justify threatening the life of someone who challenged that practice (including stalking Ali and murdering a Dutch filmmaker she worked with).

I'm an atheist, and I see no solid proof of god's existence anywhere in the universe. But if "god" did exist, knowledge of its will/wishes would be far too dangerous a thing for humans to have access to. It'd be like the philosophical equivalent of an atomic bomb - the ultimate weapon against other people. Because as we see around us, believing you are working god's will justifies doing anything, no matter how horrific. And if god was truly omniscient and omnipotent, it should know this. I'm not saying this is a logical argument that all holy scriptures are lies, but it made me think.

Just as long as they don't touch the Paralipomenon.

Software2: It's obvious that some portions of the bible were altered. For example, the "let he who is without sin cast the first stone" part wasn't found in early copies of the bible - it was only found in later copies. So, I won't say the bible is flawless.

However, you don't get to pick and choose what to keep just because you don't agree with it.

Tell that to King James...

I only have a few questions:

When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord (Lev. 1:9). The problem is my neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. How should I deal with this?

I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as it suggests in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?

I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual uncleanliness (Lev. 15:19-24). The problem is, how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.

Lev. 25:44 states that I may buy slaves from the nations that are around us. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans but not Canadians. Can you clarify?

I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself?

A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an abomination (Lev. 10:10), it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don't agree. Can you settle this?

Lev. 20:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear prescription glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle room here?

I know you have studied these things extensively, so I am confident that you can help. Thank you again for reminding us that God's word is eternal and unchanging.

(not mine, saved from a past Farker's comment)

We should just burn these books if we don't agree with them.

This deed makes the Gideon Fairy angry!

/GIDEON STASH!

Seacop: Yeah! If you wanna do that you gotta be Mormon.
That's not the Bible.

lake_huron: I assuume you're an Orthodox Jew, keep the Sabbath and kosher, etc?
That's the Torah.

buddyrtr: Tell that to King James...
That's an interpretation of the methodology of worship, not the Bible itself.

Have you read this thing? Technically you are not even allowed to go to the bathroom.

Stay classy, Ian. It's behavior like this that will eventually make gays accepted in all people's eyes.

/Fail.

Software2: Seacop: Yeah! If you wanna do that you gotta be Mormon.
That's not the Bible.

lake_huron: I assuume you're an Orthodox Jew, keep the Sabbath and kosher, etc?
That's the Torah.

buddyrtr: Tell that to King James...
That's an interpretation of the methodology of worship, not the Bible itself.

Semantics hurt baby jesus.

Software2: It's obvious that some portions of the bible were altered. For example, the "let he who is without sin cast the first stone" part wasn't found in early copies of the bible - it was only found in later copies. So, I won't say the bible is flawless.

However, you don't get to pick and choose what to keep just because you don't agree with it.


Yes I do.

mosketer: I only have a few questions:

When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord (Lev. 1:9). The problem is my neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. How should I deal with this?

I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as it suggests in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?

I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual uncleanliness (Lev. 15:19-24). The problem is, how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.

Lev. 25:44 states that I may buy slaves from the nations that are around us. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans but not Canadians. Can you clarify?

I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself?

A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an abomination (Lev. 10:10), it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don't agree. Can you settle this?

Lev. 20:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear prescription glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle room here?

I know you have studied these things extensively, so I am confident that you can help. Thank you again for reminding us that God's word is eternal and unchanging.

(not mine, saved from a past Farker's comment)

Old Testament, some laws were written to work within the culture of the time, and some of those situations are correct even if you want them to be absurd.

(Like the last one. If a priest even had dandruff he was considered unclean and could not enter the temple of God.)

Taking said hotel bible up to the front desk will get you extremely strange looks in certain parts of the country.

During an extended family trip we noticed that swanky hotels in big cities didn't have the bible in the dresser. Travel hotels almost all did. It would be interesting to know if this was a hotel decision or Gideon decision.

Jesus didn't care much for Leviticus either.

Two things:

First, I doubt this practice is widespread or "spreading" as the article claims. Sounds like McKellen does it, as does "a married couple he knows," which seems anecdotal at best. I don't see him saying, "My mailbox is filled everyday" or "I get a couple copies sent to me every week."

Second, I doubt Gandalf stays in a Holiday Inn Express, so ...

Xenomech: Stay classy, Ian. It's behavior like this that will eventually make gays accepted in all people's eyes.

/Fail.

Well kowtowing to the sensibilities of religion hasn't worked.

That being said, at least you probably won't get murdered for tearing a page out of the Bible. The Koran on the other hand....

Mosketer

I asked God to answer these questions for you. Here's what he said.

1. With attorneys.

2. Depends - is she hot?

3. I suspect that if you don't know the answer to this, you shouldn't have a problem with female contact.

4. It's ok, as long as they're brown.

5. Yes.

6. They are equally abominable, unless you're talking about homosexual shellfish.

7. If you so much as get near that altar, I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and fuuuuurious anger those who would attempt to poison and destroy my... altar. That includes tripping over shiat you don't see on the floor and knocking my stuff off the altar, blindy.

;)

Software2: It's obvious that some portions of the bible were altered. For example, the "let he who is without sin cast the first stone" part wasn't found in early copies of the bible - it was only found in later copies. So, I won't say the bible is flawless.

However, you don't get to pick and choose what to keep just because you don't agree with it.


The Bible is an anthology of ancient poetry, song, narrative, law codes, and other material - a collection of snapshots concerning how our ancestors viewed God and the world around them.

Some of these pictures - read the whole Book of Ruth, for example - are quite beautiful. Others - almost the entire Book of Joshua - should be repudiated by modern believers; the latter should be seen as a warning of what can happen when people invoke the name of God as a justification for genocide.

The Bible is filled with tales of abject failure and redemption; of the cruelty endemic to that age, balanced against rules designed to protect the poor.

I read the Bible every day. I reject some ancient notions, but even these I recognize as being valuable to my ancestors. I take seriously the mystery and the paradox, and I examined them through the lights of conscience and greater modern knowledge. (That's a process not nearly so simple as the pejorative term "picking and choosing" would suggest.)

I don't think people should be removing bits from books that don't belong to them (any more than I think people should rip pages out of public telephone directories.)

With all due respect for people who have been helped by the presence of a Bible in their hotel rooms, however, I also don't think it's right for this book to be located in every suite. Hotels that wish to carry Bibles should make them available at the front desk or through a dispenser.

Rule 3: Nah poofters!

Why rip it up? Why not just throw it away?

Bohemian: Taking said hotel bible up to the front desk will get you extremely strange looks in certain parts of the country.

During an extended family trip we noticed that swanky hotels in big cities didn't have the bible in the dresser. Travel hotels almost all did. It would be interesting to know if this was a hotel decision or Gideon decision.

That is a good idea, it lets the hotel know that religious believes are unappreciated in the buisness transaction you are conducting with them.

NobleHam: Software2:
However, you don't get to pick and choose what to keep just because you don't agree with it.

Says who? I'm an adult, excuse me if I make my own choices about my religious beliefs. I don't recall the passage where God says you have to follow the bible word for word.

Well then you're just an idiot.

17 "Do not think that I came to abolish the aLaw or the Prophets; I did not come to abolish but to fulfill.

18 "For truly I say to you, auntil heaven and earth pass away, not 1the smallest letter or stroke shall pass from the Law until all is accomplished.

19 "Whoever then annuls one of the least of these commandments, and teaches 1others to do the same, shall be called least ain the kingdom of heaven; but whoever 2keeps and teaches them, he shall be called great in the kingdom of heaven.

20 "For I say to you that unless your arighteousness surpasses that of the scribes and Pharisees, you will not enter the kingdom of heaven.

Follow it (ALL OF IT) or go to hell, your call.

maskedloser:
The Bible is an anthology of ancient poetry, song, narrative, law codes, and other material - a collection of snapshots concerning how our ancestors viewed God and the world around them.

And it would be historically useful, if everyone and their dog had not farked with it in the intervening centuries. I would think that if a book actually represented the word of god as It wished it to be read, that it would somehow be very difficult to spread adulterated versions of it.

Islam gets around this by simply declaring the original Arabic scripture to be inerrant, and all translations to be necessarily fallible. But even the Koran has a bunch of side-scriptures (the hadith) which are not the word of god but only judgments by the prophet Muhammed.

Slaves2Darkness: Why rip it up? Why not just throw it away?

Maybe he sees the value that the Bible can have as an allegorical tool for teaching morality. If you remove the sections that are obviously a product of their time and don't belong in modern society, such as not eating shellfish, wearing multiple fabrics or being homosexual, it can be a valuable teaching tool.

I may do this. Leviticus is the biblical section that I find most abhorrent.

On a similar tack, has anyone else read the Jefferson Gospels? He took the 4 Gospels and removed all contradictions, later additions and supernatural occurrences to leave it with the base morality. Interesting reading.

Reyals:

Follow it (ALL OF IT) or go to hell, your call.


Where were you twenty years ago? Well I'm farked either way, might as well have some fun.

Reyals: NobleHam: Software2:
However, you don't get to pick and choose what to keep just because you don't agree with it.

Says who? I'm an adult, excuse me if I make my own choices about my religious beliefs. I don't recall the passage where God says you have to follow the bible word for word.

Well then you're just an idiot.

17 "Do not think that I came to abolish the aLaw or the Prophets; I did not come to abolish but to fulfill.

18 "For truly I say to you, auntil heaven and earth pass away, not 1the smallest letter or stroke shall pass from the Law until all is accomplished.

19 "Whoever then annuls one of the least of these commandments, and teaches 1others to do the same, shall be called least ain the kingdom of heaven; but whoever 2keeps and teaches them, he shall be called great in the kingdom of heaven.

20 "For I say to you that unless your arighteousness surpasses that of the scribes and Pharisees, you will not enter the kingdom of heaven.

Follow it (ALL OF IT) or go to hell, your call.

Found this online. This may help you understand this scripture:

"The Scribes and Pharisees held a belief system wherein they believed that just following the obvious or superficial demands of the law would be sufficient for them to be right with God. But Christ taught that we have to be Holy, perfect or righteous in order to enter the Kingdom of God. By these words of Matthew 5:20, Christ was declaring that we have to be better people than the Scribes and Pharisees. Better than merely holding to a few laws thinking that this will qualify us for the kingdom. It cannot justify us because of the immaculate holy nature of God that "requires" perfection. "

There is no God

/chillin under mah bridge

Gideon's Bible, reminds me of this.

/if only it were that easy
//I would totally utilize that
///creepypasta!!

Reyals: NobleHam: Software2:
However, you don't get to pick and choose what to keep just because you don't agree with it.

Says who? I'm an adult, excuse me if I make my own choices about my religious beliefs. I don't recall the passage where God says you have to follow the bible word for word.

Well then you're just an idiot.

17 "Do not think that I came to abolish the aLaw or the Prophets; I did not come to abolish but to fulfill.

18 "For truly I say to you, auntil heaven and earth pass away, not 1the smallest letter or stroke shall pass from the Law until all is accomplished.

19 "Whoever then annuls one of the least of these commandments, and teaches 1others to do the same, shall be called least ain the kingdom of heaven; but whoever 2keeps and teaches them, he shall be called great in the kingdom of heaven.

20 "For I say to you that unless your arighteousness surpasses that of the scribes and Pharisees, you will not enter the kingdom of heaven.

Follow it (ALL OF IT) or go to hell, your call.

Yeah, Matthew said Jesus said that. Mark said Jesus declared all foods clean, which sort of contradicts the earlier laws. When two gospels disagree with each other, I tend to toss out the issue they disagree on. And neither Matthew or Mark is God, and though some would say Jesus is, he never claimed to be while he was alive.

2 things for me in this story.
1. made me LOL
2. first time I have ever heard of anyone opening one of those Gideon Bibles.

No Such Agency: maskedloser:
The Bible is an anthology of ancient poetry, song, narrative, law codes, and other material - a collection of snapshots concerning how our ancestors viewed God and the world around them.

And it would be historically useful, if everyone and their dog had not farked with it in the intervening centuries. I would think that if a book actually represented the word of god as It wished it to be read, that it would somehow be very difficult to spread adulterated versions of it.

What you see as adulteration, I see as textual 'evolution.' First of all, unlike the Koran, the Bible was written and collated over perhaps a thousand years. There was never one unified, unadulterated text; there were many different factions within Judaism, and eventually within Christianity, each with their own collections of holy texts. Some of these texts were common to nearly every sect; others were not.

My own belief is that the Bible is a sacred collection of texts, made all the more valuable because of the arguments between different authors (compare the attitude towards intermarriage in Ruth with that found in Nehemiah, for example). We, modern believers, are merely the latest to join this ancient argument. Is God good and merciful, as he was in the Book of Jonah? Is he capricious and battling, as in the Book of Job?

That's the power of this living book. It shapes us, and our own choices determine what we become in light of its words. Some people become worse for having read the Bible. They use the most inhumane and atrocious parts of it to justify their own bigotry. Others chose to let the best words beatify them. Still others will get nothing from the book, and they'll ignore it - a far better option than using it to excuse personal hatred.