Bbs.

some people have it coming

A whiny cop? It just keeps getting better and better...

"It's off topic, but I firmly believe those 911 callers should be subjected to a quick but painful electric shock for making such a phone call. I mean, complaining about fireworks in general on Independence Day? Why don't we just kick Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny square in the crotch, you bitter and cheerless flag-burning assholes?"

I LOL'd.

It's a whole freakin' month of people running around with "Scream" masks robbing and stabbing the shiat out of people in general. Now, don't get me wrong: Who doesn't love a good stabbing now and then? But a whole month of them? No, thank you, buddy.


Where the fark does this idiot live? It's tl;dr the way he writes, so I skimmed, but you must live in a shiat town for idiots to go around randomly stabbing people all month. He's exaggerating, and also comes off whiny.

Is this the same cop who wrote the editorial about the wiccans who were burning an effigy and running around naked?

I must be the only non-sensitive sammy here who took the cop's diatribe as wholly amusing Fark-style rant, rather than as a "pig whine"

Loved the story. Great find, subby!!

garyg: I must be the only non-sensitive sammy here who took the cop's diatribe as wholly amusing Fark-style rant, rather than as a "pig whine"

You're not the only, but probably one of the few.
/I thought it was funny, too

illicit: garyg: I must be the only non-sensitive sammy here who took the cop's diatribe as wholly amusing Fark-style rant, rather than as a "pig whine"

You're not the only, but probably one of the few.
/I thought it was funny, too

It was rather amusing. I saw it as snark for than whining.

FunkOut: It was rather amusing. I saw it as snark for than whining.

Agreed. It was just an especially long Fark comment, and would probably be responded with "cool story, bro" macros.

I hope this guy write a book

AliasUndercover: A whiny cop? It just keeps getting better and better...

If you've never worked in law enforcement on Halloween, you can STFU.

/Getting ready to head in.
//The ops floor is already getting panicked "stalker" calls.

my eyes glazed over after the first couple sentences.


/teh boring, it stings.

FlukeBoy: my eyes glazed over after the first couple sentences.


Glazed over...like donuts?

/slowly puts on sunglasses and stares into Miami sun

FunkOut: FlukeBoy: my eyes glazed over after the first couple sentences.


Glazed over...like donuts?

/slowly puts on sunglasses and stares into Miami sun

This story...has holes.

YYYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUGH

D_Evans45: It's a whole freakin' month of people running around with "Scream" masks robbing and stabbing the shiat out of people in general. Now, don't get me wrong: Who doesn't love a good stabbing now and then? But a whole month of them? No, thank you, buddy.


Where the fark does this idiot live? It's tl;dr the way he writes, so I skimmed, but you must live in a shiat town for idiots to go around randomly stabbing people all month. He's exaggerating, and also comes off whiny.

He's an idiot, but you can't tell where he lives after skimming the article from either the URL or the enormous "Chattanooga Pulse" logo at the top of the page. That's the pot calling some other cooking implement something.

I found it an amusing read. Your mileage will vary, apparently with your attention span.

I personally thought it was entertaining as all hell. You people thinking it's a whiny cop rant should really take some of his advice, pop a vicodin or two, and chill the hell out. As for the whole month of stabbings comment and the 'he had to be exaggerating' comment; you people must have never been to Chattanooga. That is all. Carry on like you know it all.

undefgeek: D_Evans45: It's a whole freakin' month of people running around with "Scream" masks robbing and stabbing the shiat out of people in general. Now, don't get me wrong: Who doesn't love a good stabbing now and then? But a whole month of them? No, thank you, buddy.


Where the fark does this idiot live? It's tl;dr the way he writes, so I skimmed, but you must live in a shiat town for idiots to go around randomly stabbing people all month. He's exaggerating, and also comes off whiny.

He's an idiot, but you can't tell where he lives after skimming the article from either the URL or the enormous "Chattanooga Pulse" logo at the top of the page. That's the pot calling some other cooking implement something.

I found it an amusing read. Your mileage will vary, apparently with your attention span.



That Chattanooga is dark as shiat sitting behind the much more vivid "The Post", easy to miss.

Also, his writing is terrible, as others have mentioned, it really is tl;dr after the first few paragraphs? I've pored over texts at times many would find inane; this guy is just a terrible writer, and whiny to boot.

Also, you know damn well they don't have repeated stabbings every day from people wearing Scream masks on the days of October 1st-30st. Whiny, exaggerating cop.

it really is tl;dr after the first few paragraphs?.

/ftfm

Ha! I love how he openly admits to recreational drug use:

"I knew this going into it, but while I thought far enough ahead to chew a few leftover Vicodin to ease my patience a bit"

How about a whole month of them, with an Extremely Inefficient Weapon?

Sarcasm and snark that flies right over farkers' heads? Somebody give that cop a medal!

Halloween?

That's a stabbin'

I LOL'd.
Thanks, Subby :)

garyg: I must be the only non-sensitive sammy here who took the cop's diatribe as wholly amusing Fark-style rant, rather than as a "pig whine"

Too bad he didn't just let go and choke out a few of those dim bulbs in the maze. Not like anyone would miss them, or they don't need it really badly.

/worked a Knott's Halloween Haunt
//the maze ghouls are idiots

FlukeBoy: my eyes glazed over after the first couple sentences.


/teh boring, it stings.


The man has talent. What he needs is an asshole editor to reign in the descriptive showboating, to demand discipline regarding sentence structure and to help him punctuate properly. The last item is not Jeff playing Grammar Nazi; 9/10 of humor is timing, which in writing is adjusted by choosing among commas, dashes, colons and periods. I deliberately omit semicolons because only jerks use those.

As a random example, consider the following FTA:
"What could be better for our relationship than waiting a few hours in a freezing cold line of people who would otherwise be at a monster truck rally that ends with spending $60 dollars on two tickets to enter a barn filled with fake smoke and folks jumping out at you wearing face paint?"

Were I his editor the comment in red ink underneath that sentence would be, "Monster truck rallies don't end that way. Please rewrite."

Good piece.

Currently giving 2-1 odds that Inkblot is the O.P.