You should've shopped around, UC Berkeley. I would have done the same job for a third of the price and given you something very similar to what this consultant will provide. Look, I can sum up my final report in one sentence:

Moving forward, we anticipate a quick adoption process on key action items that will enable effective asset right-sizing through implementation of silo-breaking synergies that will foster cross-platform collaboration and elimination of duplicative redundancies.

You want the PowerPoint to go with it, Berkeley? Call me.

Seems to me that a lot higher-education institutions could use some advice on how to control costs. Most of them act like Charlie Sheen in a whore house.

Hey Berkeley, I just want you to know that being completely unqualified to give you financial advice, I would charge you a hell of a lot less than Pocket Ninja. I will also not use hip corporate power phrases or talking points. I'll just tell you what stupid things you're doing with money and advise you to "knock it off."

I will also rock it old school with overhead projection. PowerPoint will cost you.

If only there were some sort of in-house pool of experts one could turn to in this situation.

Oh, if only they had had the foresight to start business schools at Berkeley, or even a school of public policy of some sort, that they have people educated to address these matters.

Perhaps Bain will come up with some sort of solution to implement these measures so that they won't have to hire Bain again.

Consulting: If you're not part of the solution, there's good money to be made in prolonging the problem.

I was going to apply to Berkeley and other Cali grad schools but decided not to after seeing the financial shape the state is in. Good-bye financial aid.

ToxicMunkee: Hey Berkeley, I just want you to know that being completely unqualified to give you financial advice, I would charge you a hell of a lot less than Pocket Ninja. I will also not use hip corporate power phrases or talking points. I'll just tell you what stupid things you're doing with money and advise you to "knock it off."

I will also rock it old school with overhead projection. PowerPoint will cost you.

Overhead projection? Showoff. I'd use crayons and construction paper, created by a crack team of first graders.

Babwa Wawa: Seems to me that a lot higher-education institutions could use some advice on how to control costs. Most of them act like Charlie Sheen in a whore house.

I've always thought the most wasteful thing about higher education is that it's only in operation for six or seven months out of the year. All of those buildings and facilities sitting more or less idle for months can't be very efficient.

Cagey B: If only there were some sort of in-house pool of experts one could turn to in this situation.

Oh, if only they had had the foresight to start business schools at Berkeley, or even a school of public policy of some sort, that they have people educated to address these matters.

Perhaps Bain will come up with some sort of solution to implement these measures so that they won't have to hire Bain again.

When you're run by committee, and you want to make sure that the cuts you make won't have long term negative effects, you have to hire a hit man (even if you just tell them what to say).

If you just had your business professors do this, you would end up with an analysis that:

1. doesn't necessarily reflect the academic goals of the institution. A university is not a business.

2. Doesn't necessarily take into account the experience of other universities

3. Leaves the business school essentially untouched.

Corporations don't have this problem. Institutions that have no profit motive and put limited real power in their core leadership do.

Consultants: We won't fix your problem, but we'll make a ton of money telling you what the problem is.

\Consultant

Babwa Wawa: Corporations don't have this problem. Institutions that have no profit motive and put limited real power in their core leadership do.

A lot of the problems you point to could be mitigated by bringing in the public policy experts as well (Berkeley has one of the most respected programs in the region).

This would help to balance the economics-oriented view of the business experts with the policy-oriented goal of providing quality higher education. It would also ensure that the business programs receive neutral scrutiny.

As for the tendency to ignore the experience of other universities, comparison is one of the most basic tools of analysis. If your institution can't manage to find someone who has the ability to bring in case studies from elsewhere as part of their analysis, then it has a lot more problems than a $3 million contribution to Bain is going to solve.

And anyways, the limited power in leadership problem is going to come up in either case. It's not Bain who's going to have the final say as to whether their plan is going to implemented. The best you can do in the situation is to provide leadership and the public the best possible information with which to make decisions regarding the direction and conduct of the institution.

If they went in-house, they could do the same thing that Bain is doing, except at lower cost and without further angering an already restive workforce and student body. The neutral hitman role you're envisioning for Bain isn't going to make the parties who will bear the brunt of the cuts any less vocal or any less likely to gin up opposition to any decision.

Snarfangel: ToxicMunkee: Hey Berkeley, I just want you to know that being completely unqualified to give you financial advice, I would charge you a hell of a lot less than Pocket Ninja. I will also not use hip corporate power phrases or talking points. I'll just tell you what stupid things you're doing with money and advise you to "knock it off."

I will also rock it old school with overhead projection. PowerPoint will cost you.

Overhead projection? Showoff. I'd use crayons and construction paper, created by a crack team of first graders.

Well. Aren't YOU colorful and shiat. I'll see your first graders with crayons and raise you an elephant with finger paints!

ToxicMunkee: Well. Aren't YOU colorful and shiat. I'll see your first graders with crayons and raise you an elephant with finger paints!

Elephants are expensive. I'll do it with a bucket of rats dipped in various colors of paint.

Cagey B: ToxicMunkee: Well. Aren't YOU colorful and shiat. I'll see your first graders with crayons and raise you an elephant with finger paints!

Elephants are expensive. I'll do it with a bucket of rats dipped in various colors of paint.

This is Berkeley. I'll use illegal aliens and eco-friendly plant pollen.

I'll call the illegal aliens "migrant workers" and pay them a "living wage from their native country."

Pocket Ninja: You should've shopped around, UC Berkeley. I would have done the same job for a third of the price and given you something very similar to what this consultant will provide. Look, I can sum up my final report in one sentence:

Moving forward, we anticipate a quick adoption process on key action items that will enable effective asset right-sizing through implementation of silo-breaking synergies that will foster cross-platform collaboration and elimination of duplicative redundancies.

You want the PowerPoint to go with it, Berkeley? Call me.

Pocket Ninja, be sure to include hand motions during your presentation. Otherwise, your words will be lost on them.

Actually, i am paid through the company's consulting budget despite just being an accountant.

You've gotta spend money to make money, duh.

Cagey B: If only there were some sort of in-house pool of experts one could turn to in this situation.

Oh, if only they had had the foresight to start business schools at Berkeley, or even a school of public policy of some sort, that they have people educated to address these matters.

Perhaps Bain will come up with some sort of solution to implement these measures so that they won't have to hire Bain again.

Maybe if the stinky hippies who graduated from UCB would donate some money from their highly profitable post graduate endeavors, this would not be necessary.

Whether it is excessive first of all depends on the results. If the firm can really specify enough savings to save "tens of millions" per year, then it is justified. However, that assumes that those savings are something will actually be implemented, that were not easy for university administration to identify without consultation, and still protects revenue generation (i.e. it always looks good on paper to cut staff, but in practice can harm the overall business).

An outside consultant is also often needed in contentious decisions -- if they really need to fire staff, it can be worth it to have an outside opinion on the matter. Typically the firm would collect lots of data about staffing levels and salaries at more cost-efficient schools.

A lot of times a consultant is engaged just to confirm something you already know. It sounds a little dumb, but can be an important tool in corporate decision-making.

Spend $3 million once to "save tens of millions of dollars every year" sounds like a good deal on the surface. Hope it works out for them.

Babwa Wawa: Corporations don't have this problem. Institutions that have no profit motive and put limited real power in their core leadership do.

Libertarian lust seems to blind people to the reality that every large organization has the same problems with bureaucracy, be it government, private enterprise, even charities.

The point of hiring consultants like this is having a third party tell you the things you already know, so you can do what you already know you should do, without being responsible for it.

seems to me that a higher education institution should be smart enough to figure it out themselves. just sayin'.

Take their watch. Tell them what time it is. Leave.

solution: focus more effort on programs that produce graduates with higher earning potential. These graduates will give you more money as alumni. The starving artist simply cannot contribute as much to the alumni fund as the lawyer/m.d./IT pro

Line up all of your employees and paint a big "X" over every 20th one.

You save 5%.

Duuuuude, you spilled the bong on my budget report.

Babwa Wawa: Cagey B: If only there were some sort of in-house pool of experts one could turn to in this situation.

Oh, if only they had had the foresight to start business schools at Berkeley, or even a school of public policy of some sort, that they have people educated to address these matters.

Perhaps Bain will come up with some sort of solution to implement these measures so that they won't have to hire Bain again.

When you're run by committee, and you want to make sure that the cuts you make won't have long term negative effects, you have to hire a hit man (even if you just tell them what to say).

If you just had your business professors do this, you would end up with an analysis that:

1. doesn't necessarily reflect the academic goals of the institution. A university is not a business.

2. Doesn't necessarily take into account the experience of other universities

3. Leaves the business school essentially untouched.

Corporations don't have this problem. Institutions that have no profit motive and put limited real power in their core leadership do.


Except that a University, even a land grant one, is a business. The goal of those running the school is to get more revenue than they have expenses. Without mentioning athletics, which is obviously profit-driven, how about the government research contracts?

That people learn and get degrees is incidental. They couldn't care any less, as long as your tuition check keeps clearing.

Axe any program that has the word "studies" in it.

Arklop: Spend $3 million once to "save tens of millions of dollars every year" sounds like a good deal on the surface. Hope it works out for them.

Yeah, but what exactly are they going to do that costs $3 million (and couldn't mostly be done by using common sense - cut out all the luxury crap, rebuilding the sports facilities every five years instead of every two)?

gorgor: Duuuuude, you spilled the bong on my budget report.

No, no, no.

Bongs imply smoking, which is bad.

You want to use a "vaporizer" or "brownie."

If going the brownie route you want to use organic fair-trade (not to be confused with free-trade) chocolate and organic hand-churned butter from happy cows.

Joce678: Arklop: Spend $3 million once to "save tens of millions of dollars every year" sounds like a good deal on the surface. Hope it works out for them.

Yeah, but what exactly are they going to do that costs $3 million (and couldn't mostly be done by using common sense - cut out all the luxury crap, rebuilding the sports facilities every five years instead of every two)?

Get an "independent report" that says "cut salaries, teachers, student-funds" without facing the credible threat of lawsuits, strikes, and walkouts?

/hire consultants to tell you what you already know you should do
//don't do it anyway
///loss?

netweavr: Cagey B: ToxicMunkee: Well. Aren't YOU colorful and shiat. I'll see your first graders with crayons and raise you an elephant with finger paints!

Elephants are expensive. I'll do it with a bucket of rats dipped in various colors of paint.

This is Berkeley. I'll use illegal aliens and eco-friendly plant pollen.

I'll call the illegal aliens "migrant workers" and pay them a "living wage from their native country."

Well aren't you fancy what with your physical media. Look at me! La-de-frickin-da ways. I'd just tell people to imagine Power Point slides!

Looking up online Bain and Co are a highly respected consulting group being hired even by dell. They are extremely expensive, but I don't see why that means it's not a good investment. Considering their past experience, I see no reason to believe that they aren't capable of saving the Uni over $3 million.

Anybody that gets paid $3 million, believe it or not, has to earn a truckload, no fark that, a cargo ship full of respect.

/Disregard that, they are overpaid hand waving idiots

ne2d: Babwa Wawa: Seems to me that a lot higher-education institutions could use some advice on how to control costs. Most of them act like Charlie Sheen in a whore house.

I've always thought the most wasteful thing about higher education is that it's only in operation for six or seven months out of the year. All of those buildings and facilities sitting more or less idle for months can't be very efficient.

Link (new window)

They're hardly idle. There are summer schools, summer symposia, evening adult classes for local adults studying non-graded topics, AA meetings, study hall usage, Kaplan SAT training, etc. The gyms are used for summer camps, dance camps, cheerleader camps. Dorms are rented out throughout the summer for camps and such. At UCSB, the dorms are rented out for family vacation fun. I can't imagine UC Berkeley doing the same thing, though. Who wants to vacation in Berkeley or the campus? But generally, there are a lot of seminars and symposia that various departments run where professors and grad students from other schools come and meet and talk about various topics du jour. They're all paid for so there's money to be made. Fancier places like the business school and such will have high-end executives come in for conferences and talks. There, the going rate would be $10 - 100K for the week (whereas a physics seminar might be $300 - $800 for the week).

Indeed, the wasteful part is teaching the students, especially in fields like modern literature or women's studies where there may be just 10 students per year majoring in that field and they still have to take up a room or two during the school year. There's not much research money coming in and certainly no patentable projects that can bring in money to the school. A engineering lab that develops something cool and patentable might bring the school some bucks, but what would a classics department bring in? Unless the professor is Indiana Jones and managed to find another dead sea scroll, there's nothing great about the department other than being a money hog.

Often times you have to spend money in order to save it. $3M to save $150M isn't a bad ratio, assuming the consulting firm actually balances their budget.

Many consultants will charge 50% or more of the first year's savings to recommend budget saving measures.

It's easy, relatively speaking, to simply take a hatchet to everyone's budget. It's much more difficult to perform cuts to maximize savings while minimizing consequences.

You gotta spend money to save money...
Wait...

Came for the demotivator, leaving satisfied.

When you routinely pay PhDs $100,000+ per year to teach 2 entry level classes per term, pissing away $3 million on useless consulting services could be considered a relatively shrewd investment.

If only there were some sort of in-house pool of experts one could turn to in this situation.

Oh, if only they had had the foresight to start business schools at Berkeley, or even a school of public policy of some sort, that they have people educated to address these matters.

THIS. I'm sure you hear the East Bay heads exploding this morning, no matter what state you are reading this in.

Cagey B: Oh, if only they had had the foresight to start business schools at Berkeley, or even a school of public policy of some sort, that they have people educated to address these matters.

Difficulty: listening to Robert Reich's voice.

netweavr: gorgor: Duuuuude, you spilled the bong on my budget report.

No, no, no.

Bongs imply smoking, which is bad.

You want to use a "vaporizer" or "brownie."

If going the brownie route you want to use organic fair-trade (not to be confused with free-trade) chocolate and organic hand-churned butter from happy cows.

Whoa, I'm seeing rage, anger and hostility swirling in harmony.
*shakes tiny fist*

My sister's employer has a contest every quarter where the employees submit cost-saving ideas. The winner gets like $100, but they get a ton of responses from the people who actually see the waste and can provide practical ways to cut costs.

Make it a competition amongst the professors to see how much research grant money they can bring in.

First prize, a new car.
Second prize, a set of steak knives.
Third prize is you're fired.

I have a lot of friends who are management consultants, so I'm getting a kick out of these replies.

ToxicMunkee: Hey Berkeley, I just want you to know that being completely unqualified to give you financial advice, I would charge you a hell of a lot less than Pocket Ninja. I will also not use hip corporate power phrases or talking points. I'll just tell you what stupid things you're doing with money and advise you to "knock it off."

I will also rock it old school with overhead projection. PowerPoint will cost you.



STOP IT!

Approves

/hot

BigTuna: Babwa Wawa: Corporations don't have this problem. Institutions that have no profit motive and put limited real power in their core leadership do.

Libertarian lust seems to blind people to the reality that every large organization has the same problems with bureaucracy, be it government, private enterprise, even charities.

The military too?!!!