Figures we'd get serious news on funny day

Mom always said there'd be days like this, but she didn't tell me that they were gonna hang in bunches like farkin' grapes. You tried Drew!

We cant attack them with troops in 3 days. I hope they arent gonna do another pointless air strike.

First, The Holy Wars.

Now, The Curry Wars.

Adamay13: We can send in ground troops in 3 days. The armed forces can mobilize in an extraordinarily short amount of time.

I know we could get troops there, but will we be able to get enough there in 3 days. We cant attack a country with a token force.

Nothing like lettin' know your coming.

I don't know that ground forces are such a terrific idea. The Afghans kicked Russia's ass. I think they should just drop bombs from planes until the country looks like a farking beach with no ocean.

Pakistan has nukes. They can get away with using them. I say drive a truck into 4 major areas of afghanistan and blow them.

A) We can mobilize a significant force in 3 days.

B) The only reason Afghanistan kicked Russia's ass was because of our help. Didn't you see Rambo III?

C) I've been calling this movie ever since Tuesday. I knew someone would give Afghanistan an ultimatum sooner or later. Told ya!

i don't think pakistan would be real enthusiastic about nuking their next door neighbor. honestly, it looks like it'll only work if it's a ground war.

i say we get france in on this.

damn typo. "Calling this movie"? Sheesh.

"Operation Noble Eagle," ehh...

We should do a survey to generate a codename for the US / Coalition's overseas punitive actions. Probably been done already by the higher echelons though... Any suggestions?

(And Timothy Dalton had a hand in the Afghani repulsion of the Russians. Probably Chuck Norris too.)

Well if we are attacking the Taliban...maybe we should call it Operation Talleywhacker.

Good to see you still have a clear head fb-... let's be terrorists too. Why go specifically after the responsible groups when we can bombs everyone there? That way we can create more people with a hatred for the US when their innocent families -people stuck in a country with a government they didn't elect to be there but rather took it by force and kills any dissenters- are just tallied as &quotcollateral dmage".

Brilliant.

Operation Cleansweep

Operation 'Smash the little kid's Sandcastle'

Mojo

Somebody has to do something.. clearly our country isn't going to do anything other and posture and make fake promises while they shovel their dead out of the wreckage of the towers and pentagon.

Something needs to be done, more than what has been done, which is absolutely nothing.

I think the threats should be made to pressure anyone thinking of protecting bin Laden serious pause. A sweeping military action against the country would be a bad move. If we really want to make a difference in the region, we should focus on going after bin laden and supporters, including the Taliban if they protect him.

From many news stories in the region of the attrocities commited by the Taliban, I am surprised a UN human rights campaign hadn't previously been brought up.

If they have been sheltering bin Laden, removal of the Taliban would be justified. However, a new government would need to be set up and backed by the UN. Otherwise, the next power hungry group will step in and grab the reigns.

We just need to tread carefully to minimize loss of our soldiers in that rough terrain, loss of citizens, and alienation of new terrorists.

patience, fb. we're only on the fifth day here. nothing happens instantly. personally i'm much more concerned that we'll do too much than too little. this is a tricky situation here. american citizens want blood, but the man we're looking for (who is, by the way, only a suspect, not that he hasn't done enough in the past to warrent seeking him out anyway) is hidden and moves nightly. so an easy kneejerk reaction is "well let's do to them what they did to us!" but it doesn't work that way. any terrorism we imparted on afghanistan would be as bad as what has happened to us, worse even because it is a crushed, impoverished nation already. it also wouldn't do anything but kill innocent civilians. the people of afghanistan are not the culprits here. like a few folks around here have said already in other threads, they're as much the victims as we are, only they've been living with it longer.
what we have to do is find some way to fight the terrorists, not civilians. this is a new and frightening kind of war, and the old rules don't apply. i assure you, something will be done, we can only hope our leaders will be able to figure out a way to do it right.

bah. i was looking forward to funny day... i'm going back to lurking now.

i may have been mis informed here, but i thought afghanistan already said that they would hand over bin laden if they found him.

or was that pakistan?

i might be confused here.

in any case, this all sounds quite worrying to me.

Operation Smackdown, led by General McMahon.

doesn't pakistan have the nuke now? what are the chances that the Taliban has one as well.

it seems the Taliban sure are talking big. they are threatening any country that helps the US. what do they have to threaten with? aren't all the troops bin Laden's?

The problem with bombing Afghanistan is that there's no infrastructure to destroy... it's hardly a threat to bomb their weapons factories when they don't have any.

Who knows what the strategy is here, but I hope they've thought it out. That region of the world isn't exactly made up of our natural allies...

can tomorrow be boobies day?

I bet the same people who keep saying that we shouldn't go invade Afganistan or whoever are harboring these farks because it will only kill more innocent people and produce more hatred are the same types who wouldnt want us to shoot down an airliner aimed at the White House because it has innocent passengers on board. This is war. Innocent people will be killed and there's little if anything we can do about it and yes they will hate us more, but in Japan there are still a few elderly who hate us for dropping the a-bombs at the end of WW2. Sure they may not be hijacking airplanes or strapping TNT to their chests, but the principle is the same. If after we go after these people, they still want to try and blow us up, that just means that we have to be more vigilant. As Thomas Jefferson once said, "Eternal vigilance is the price of freedom." Just because Afganistan is an impoverished nation, that does NOT give them the right to harbor a mass murderer and I hope that if Bin Laden is indeed responsible, they will turn him over as soon as possible. War is not just about justice. It's about defence. If we take too long and not root these people out whereever they are hiding, they will keep doing this kind of shiat more and more and it will only get worse. I seriously doubt anyone will be worrying about the innocents in country x if someone from there or any other terrorist harboring nation detonates a suitcase nuke in the middle of times square. We weren't specific about sending in the Marines to get Hitler during WW2. We couldn't because a massive army was in the way. We're in a similar situation now only the massive army has been replaced with difficult terrain and guerrilla warfare. These types of people protect themselves by placing innocent civilians around military targets. Saddam Hussain did it when we bombed Iraq after he kicked the weapons inspectors out by surrounding his presidential palaces with women and children to be used as human shields. Yes, some innocent people will be killed in this war but I hope and pray that they have the sense to get out of the line of fire as quickly as possible. This will not be another Vietnam. We have a clear objective: Take out the terrorists. We ARE at war and have been since Tuesday. Osama Bin Laden is increasingly becoming more and more likely to be the S.O.B. behind this shiat and almost everyone arrested and/or questioned has some sort of connection with him. So, in closing I hope and pray that the innocent Afganis continue to do what they are already doing by fleeing Afghanistan as quickly as possible so that the # of innocents killed is cut down to a minimum (The US military wouldnt kill innocent women and children. We learned not to do that the hard way in Vietnam). It seems more and more likely that we will invade Afgahnistan. It won't be WW3, but it won't be an easy war either. It never is. But we must stand strong and support our president and our military to do the right thing and take out whoever did this. These people don't deserve a trial, but because we are still a civilized country, I believe that they should get one in a US court. If they should be killed in battle though, I won't be complaining about it. I'd hate to be their defense attorney if they do go to trial though.

Rassleholic

'British Prime Minister Tony Blair has told CNN that the international community gives its full backing to the fight "between the civilized world and fanaticism."'
Yeehaw! He's gonna help us take out Chick, CAP and Falwell!

"War is cruelty and you cannot refine it."

William Tecumseh Sherman

hey, i like the boobies day idea. only i would ask for boobies n' weenies day. whadayasay, drew? it would likely get interrupted like today, but it's a noble effort and it's great to see so much funny stuff on fark again, even with the sad news mixed in.

Deus : Actually, the little rebel boy in Rambo III was to become Bin Laden... John should have put a bullet through is skull, just to be of the safe side...

What I say? Somebody set up them with bomb! All their base are belong to Dubya! They are on the way to destruction! Ha ha ha!

Pakistan would be fine with nuking their neighbor, they developed the nukes for (potential) use on India, who also has nukes, developed for (potential) use on Pakistan

Taliban has no nukes, if they did we'd have heard about it by now.

we need some Boobies today!!!

We need to hijack some camels, stuff them with beans and brocoli, and ram them into their farking huts.

Operation Counter-Strike!!!

If the Taliban hands over bin laden, then I suggest his punishment goes as follows:

Since they hate homosexuals and Jews, I propose he gets mercilessly gang-raped by some extremely femme gay jewish dudes.

While this is occuring, since he hates women, we should hire a bunch of strippers to tease him while he's getting butt-slamed by our coalition of gay jewish men.

But this is the real punishment: Because the hot strippers are turning him on, he will get an erection while getting butt-slammed, thus making him feel like he is gay. By then, he will know he is doomed, because now that he is gay (or thinks he is), he will think he is going to hell instead of heaven. And how can he now be considered a martyr to his people once they see his erection while getting the old "in-out, in-out" by the gay jewish guys? We send this video "with the strippers edited out" back to the Taliban.

Does that make any sense? Any suggestions?

Yes, indeed, nothing is being done. We have to do something... we MUST do SOMETHING!

But what?

We must FIGHT! FIGHT! KILL! MAIM! MAKE THEM SUFFER! MAKE THEM PAY!

But who's "them"?

I don't CARE! SOMEBODY! ANYBODY! JUST KILL THEM! KILL THEIR WIVES, KILL THEIR CHILDREN, KILL THEM ALL!!!!!



Some days, I like to just sit back and watch as the world fuels my cynicism.

FireZs: depressing isn't it?

I hate to think about this and I don't believe it, but it's interesting to point out anywayz.


From the link to CNN above:

" Bush authorized the military to shoot down any unauthorized civilian aircraft heading toward the White House or the Capitol."

From "'Black box' from Pennsylvania crash found" http://www.cnn.com/2001/US/09/13/penn.attack/index.html

"More debris from the plane was found in New Baltimore, some 8 miles away from the crash.

State police and the FBI initially said they didn't want to speculate whether the debris was from the crash, or if the plane could have broken up in midair."

From: "Flight Data Recorder Is Found at Pa. Site"
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/nation/A28603-2001Sep14.html

"Witnesses also reported seeing another plane pass above the crash site shortly after Flight 93 went down."

I also read other reports (that I can't find at the moment) about military planes being around the the the United Flight 93 (the PA. plane) and reports about how photographers were arrested at the site.

I know there is alot of info to contradict this info (why I dont beleive), like the eye-witness reports, but nonetheless one still has to wonder.

Also, am I reading that right in the CNN report linked above how the two plance that hit the WTC had been hit by military fire, or had they not. It's written weird and English is no something I am well known for.

Sure they'll turn him over or at least someone who looks juuust like him.

Pakistan is doing this because they need us to drop our embargos with them. Also probably in the coming years they will fight a much larger battle with india and do not want to be on our bad side, because we probably would have helped india. Right now pakistan is screwed anyways, thier ecomomy is toast, they are lead by a militray dictator. They don't have anything to loose.

Skwidd: Thanks for the laugh... that was great. I will add "Bin Laden, Can you smell what the US is cookin????"

Osama Bin Laden has no chance to survive

It amazes me that people want to sit and do nothing until we get Bin Laden to publicly come out and admit to this. It's obvious to most people and completely obvious to our Intelligence Offices that Bin Laden was behind this. Nuff said.

We know where he his. I feel we should rip through the country, destroying what we must, or what we feel like, in order to make an example of what happens to a country when you harbor and support terrorists. Then deal with Bin Laden when we find him.

We can't sit back waiting until Bin Laden admits to this, and we certainly can't be concerned about a country that harbors and supports terrorism. We will never be able to individually kill Bin Laden with a surgically precise strike. It's not the nature of war and it sends no example to future and other current supporting countries of terrorism.

Wake up. That's not pacifism and apathy on your farking hands, that's blood.

I really apologise for the length of this, but I thought it important to be read.

(author unknown to me)


"I've been hearing a lot of talk about "bombing Afghanistan back to the Stone Age." Ronn Owens, on KGO Talk Radio today, allowed that this would mean killing innocent people, people who had nothing to do with this atrocity, but "we're at war, we have to accept collateral damage. What else can we do?" Minutes later I heard some TV pundit discussing whether we "have the belly to do what must be done."

And I thought about the issues being raised especially hard because I am from Afghanistan, and even though I've lived here for 35 years I've never lost track of what's going on there. So I want to tell anyone who will listen how it all looks from where I'm standing.

I speak as one who hates the Taliban and Osama Bin Laden. There is no doubt in my mind that these people were responsible for the atrocity in New York. I agree that something must be done about those monsters.

But the Taliban and Ben Laden are not Afghanistan. They're not even the government of Afghanistan. The Taliban are a cult of ignorant psychotics who took over Afghanistan in 1997. Bin Laden is a political criminal with a plan. When you think Taliban, think Nazis. When you think Bin Laden, think Hitler. And when you think "the people of Afghanistan" think "the Jews in the concentration camps." It's not only that the Afghan people had nothing to do with this atrocity. They were the first victims of the perpetrators. They would exult if someone would come in there, take out the Taliban and clear out the rats nest of international thugs holed up in their country.

Some say, why don't the Afghans rise up and overthrow the Taliban? The answer is, they're starved, exhausted, hurt, incapacitated, suffering.

A few years ago, the United Nations estimated that there are 500,000 disabled orphans in Afghanistan--a country with no economy, no food.

There are millions of widows. And the Taliban has been burying thesewidows alive in mass graves. The soil is littered with land mines, the farms were all destroyed by the Soviets. These are a few of the reasons why the Afghan people have not overthrown the Taliban.

We come now to the question of bombing Afghanistan back to the Stone Age. Trouble is, that's been done. The Soviets took care of it already.

Make the Afghans suffer? They're already suffering. Level their houses? Done. Turn their schools into piles of rubble? Done. Eradicate their hospitals? Done. Destroy their infrastructure? Cut them off from medicine and health care? Too late. Someone already did all that.

New bombs would only stir the rubble of earlier bombs. Would they at least get the Taliban? Not likely. In today's Afghanistan, only the Taliban eat, only they have the means to move around. They'd slip away and hide. Maybe the bombs would get some of those disabled orphans, they don't move too fast, they don't even have wheelchairs. But flying over Kabul and dropping bombs wouldn't really be a strike against the criminals who did this horrific thing. Actually it would only be making common cause with the Taliban--by raping once again the people they've been raping all this time

So what else is there? What can be done, then? Let me now speak with true fear and trembling. The only way to get Bin Laden is to go in there with ground troops. When people speak of "having the belly to do what needs to be done" they're thinking in terms of having the belly to kill as many as needed. Having the belly to overcome any moral qualms about killing innocent people. Let's pull our heads out of the sand. What's actually on the table is Americans dying. And not just because some Americans would die fighting their way through Afghanistan to Bin Laden's hideout. It's much bigger than that folks. Because to get any troops to Afghanistan, we'd have to go through Pakistan. Would they let us? Not likely. The conquest of Pakistan would have to be first. Will other Muslim nations just stand by? You see where I'm going. We're flirting with a world war between Islam and the West.

And guess what: that's Bin Laden's program. That's exactly what he wants. That's why he did this. Read his speeches and statements. It's all right there. He really believes Islam would beat the west. It might seem ridiculous, but he figures if he can polarize the world into Islam and the West, he's got a billion soldiers. If the west wreaks a holocaust in those lands, that's a billion people with nothing left to lose, that's even better from Bin Laden's point of view. He's probably wrong, in the end the west would win, whatever that would mean, but the war would last for years and millions would die, not just theirs but ours. Who has the belly for that? Bin Laden does. Anyone else?"

Personally I hope they do hand Bin Laden over alive, and throw him in a private California prison... and let a bunch of convicts have their way with him. (Think Chris Rock's "Tossed Salad Man" here.)

Killing him right away would be too good for him.

I was going to point out that most Afghans don't like the Taliban either, but Cruiser did a much better job. They'd party in the streets if we offed the Taliban. With any luck we'll see it happen

If they don't like it, they shouldn't tolerate and support it. They signed their death warrants when they allowed Bin Laden into their country. They signed their death warrants when they choose or accepted an Islamic hate group to represent them. They signed their death warrants when thousands of americans, and two of my friends, were crushed and cooked alive.

I feel no pity for the cowards that write these pitiful letters from afghani and other citizens of terrorist nations asking for peace. I'm sure these are the same people that were dancing and cheering in the streets when they heard the US was bombed. Two faced cowards, each of them.

If you want peace, get the hell out of your terrorist supporting nations, because the armies of the civilized world are coming, and death is coming with them.