If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.
Fark SearchWeb Fark

         more options... Create account

(The Local (Sweden)) Obvious The woman you're conversing with on the internet is not a playboy model, is not being pursued by the mob and does not have a daughter suffering from leukemia   (thelocal.se) divider line 4192
More: Obvious, leukemia, playboy, suffering, daughter suffering, rapists, deep pockets, Playboy Playmate, banana republic  
•       •       •

16250 clicks; posted to Main » on 09 Sep 2009 at 8:19 AM   |  Make this a Fark FavoriteFavorite    |   share: Share on OMGTWITTER WEB2.0share on StumbleUponshare on Facebook  more»   |    Get this fabulous T-Shirt and impress the methane out of your friends! shirt it!

4192 Comments   (+0 »)


First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | » | Last
 
Pocket Ninja [TotalFark] 2009-09-09 08:19:51 AM  
Jesus I hate con artists like this. They cause everybody to treat people on the web with such jaded suspicion and contempt. But some of us really need help, you know? Look, I'm just going to throw this out there. Yesterday I was in the shower. I was soaping up my breasts and my nipples and had just bent down to soap my crotch when I heard a crash outside the window. I leaned against the wall and felt my nipples press against the cold tile. Outside, I saw four men with guns. I couldn't help it--I screamed. They saw me. I had to run. I cupped my breasts in my hands and fled. All I could grab was a hand towel. I've been on the run with nothing but a hand towel for two days. I'm hungry and dirty. So dirty. I just found this laptop in a field and am sneaking someone's Wi-Fi while sitting naked on my towel. Please help me. I just need money to buy clothes, some food, a house. Please, you're my only hope.

 
msheda 2009-09-09 08:20:20 AM  
Then I guess I had better cancel that check.

Does this also mean I wont be getting my money from Nigeria?

 
Pants full of macaroni!! 2009-09-09 08:20:47 AM  
www.solarnavigator.net

/oblig
//dnrtfa

 
HowAboutNo 2009-09-09 08:22:17 AM  
Pocket Ninja, did you drink your breakfast this morning?

/I LOL'd

 
Techhell [TotalFark] 2009-09-09 08:23:01 AM  
Wait, there are women on the Internet? When did THAT happen?

 
olddinosaur 2009-09-09 08:24:16 AM  
And while we are on the subject, I am just absolutely SURE 14-year-old cheerleaders have nothing better to do with their time than talk nasty in chat rooms to silly losers, while dreaming of the day when they can hook up with some 35-year-old doofus with bad breath and a pot belly, who sits in his mama's basement all day long.

Dream on.

 
Scutter 2009-09-09 08:24:27 AM  
Pocket Ninja: Jesus I hate con artists like this. They cause everybody to treat people on the web with such jaded suspicion and contempt. But some of us really need help, you know? Look, I'm just going to throw this out there. Yesterday I was in the shower. I was soaping up my breasts and my nipples and had just bent down to soap my crotch when I heard a crash outside the window. I leaned against the wall and felt my nipples press against the cold tile. Outside, I saw four men with guns. I couldn't help it--I screamed. They saw me. I had to run. I cupped my breasts in my hands and fled. All I could grab was a hand towel. I've been on the run with nothing but a hand towel for two days. I'm hungry and dirty. So dirty. I just found this laptop in a field and am sneaking someone's Wi-Fi while sitting naked on my towel. Please help me. I just need money to buy clothes, some food, a house. Please, you're my only hope.

Sounds legit. I'm in.

 
flamingboard 2009-09-09 08:24:35 AM  
my interwebs girlfriend is a nigerian princess who just needs a few thousand dollars to pay the bank transfer fees to get her millions out of the country. seems like a sweet ass deal to me.

/investments
//make them

 
Ikam 2009-09-09 08:27:46 AM  
How dare you blow my Playboy model cover, it was working so well.

 
I_Love_Verdi [recently expired TotalFark] 2009-09-09 08:27:46 AM  
Pocket Ninja: Jesus I hate con artists like this. They cause everybody to treat people on the web with such jaded suspicion and contempt. But some of us really need help, you know? Look, I'm just going to throw this out there. Yesterday I was in the shower. I was soaping up my breasts and my nipples and had just bent down to soap my crotch when I heard a crash outside the window. I leaned against the wall and felt my nipples press against the cold tile. Outside, I saw four men with guns. I couldn't help it--I screamed. They saw me. I had to run. I cupped my breasts in my hands and fled. All I could grab was a hand towel. I've been on the run with nothing but a hand towel for two days. I'm hungry and dirty. So dirty. I just found this laptop in a field and am sneaking someone's Wi-Fi while sitting naked on my towel. Please help me. I just need money to buy clothes, some food, a house. Please, you're my only hope.

Done on one, lolz

 
at80eighty [TotalFark] 2009-09-09 08:28:50 AM  
olddinosaur: And while we are on the subject, I am just absolutely SURE 14-year-old cheerleaders have nothing better to do with their time than talk nasty in chat rooms to silly losers, while dreaming of the day when they can hook up with some 35-year-old doofus with bad breath and a pot belly, who sits in his mama's basement all day long.


well on the bright side - atleast you learned your lesson

 
littlett's [TotalFark] 2009-09-09 08:31:05 AM  
Techhell: Wait, there are women on the Internet? When did THAT happen?

It is all a bunch of lies.

 
flamingboard 2009-09-09 08:33:58 AM  
littlett's: Techhell: Wait, there are women on the Internet? When did THAT happen?

It is all a bunch of lies.


there are no girls on the internets.

 
Archie Goodwin [TotalFark] 2009-09-09 08:34:38 AM  
Pocket Ninja: Please, you're my only hope.

No, that would be Obi-Wan Kenobi. He lives two caves down.

 
littlett's [TotalFark] 2009-09-09 08:34:56 AM  
flamingboard: littlett's: Techhell: Wait, there are women on the Internet? When did THAT happen?

It is all a bunch of lies.

there are no girls on the internets.


Sad but very true. We are all chatbots.

 
No Such Agency 2009-09-09 08:35:00 AM  
Pocket Ninja: Jesus I hate con artists like this. They cause everybody to treat people on the web with such jaded suspicion and contempt. But some of us really need help, you know? Look, I'm just going to throw this out there. Yesterday I was in the shower. I was soaping up my breasts and my nipples and had just bent down to soap my crotch when I heard a crash outside the window. I leaned against the wall and felt my nipples press against the cold tile. Outside, I saw four men with guns. I couldn't help it--I screamed. They saw me. I had to run. I cupped my breasts in my hands and fled. All I could grab was a hand towel. I've been on the run with nothing but a hand towel for two days. I'm hungry and dirty. So dirty. I just found this laptop in a field and am sneaking someone's Wi-Fi while sitting naked on my towel. Please help me. I just need money to buy clothes, some food, a house. Please, you're my only hope.

I'm sure you're male, which makes this even funnier because I'm picturing you screaming, cupping your man-boobs and running away in a towel. Not the manliest response, dude, is all I'm saying. Next time, make a dive for your Tec-9 and, you know, bust some caps.

 
Poppyale 2009-09-09 08:38:01 AM  
Pocket Ninja, I give you lots of internet dollars. Marry me.

 
DarthBart 2009-09-09 08:38:20 AM  
She's got nothing compared to Nancy Nusbaum.

Google search for "nancy nusbaum stopaglaia". Now there's a con artist.

 
olapbill 2009-09-09 08:38:23 AM  
msheda: Then I guess I had better cancel that check.

Does this also mean I wont be getting my money from Nigeria?


Nigeria?
Please.

 
syberpud 2009-09-09 08:39:21 AM  
No Such Agency: Pocket Ninja: Jesus I hate con artists like this. They cause everybody to treat people on the web with such jaded suspicion and contempt. But some of us really need help, you know? Look, I'm just going to throw this out there. Yesterday I was in the shower. I was soaping up my breasts and my nipples and had just bent down to soap my crotch when I heard a crash outside the window. I leaned against the wall and felt my nipples press against the cold tile. Outside, I saw four men with guns. I couldn't help it--I screamed. They saw me. I had to run. I cupped my breasts in my hands and fled. All I could grab was a hand towel. I've been on the run with nothing but a hand towel for two days. I'm hungry and dirty. So dirty. I just found this laptop in a field and am sneaking someone's Wi-Fi while sitting naked on my towel. Please help me. I just need money to buy clothes, some food, a house. Please, you're my only hope.

I'm sure you're male, which makes this even funnier because I'm picturing you screaming, cupping your man-boobs and running away in a towel. Not the manliest response, dude, is all I'm saying. Next time, make a dive for your Tec-9 and, you know, bust some caps.


Just remember to hold the gun "gansta style" while doing so. All the cool kids do it that way.

 
Type40 2009-09-09 08:39:25 AM  
Just so you farkers know, it is possible to successfully find a relationship on the internets. I now have the best girlfriend ever thanks to a dating website.

/why am I telling you this?
//I'm telling everyone.
///so happy.

 
Vash's Apprentice 2009-09-09 08:39:30 AM  
My Playboy model daughter with leukemia, Jane Doe, begs to differ.

 
Porous Horace 2009-09-09 08:39:49 AM  
Pocket Ninja: Good thing you have your towel.
/hoopy

 
littlett's [TotalFark] 2009-09-09 08:40:05 AM  
Pocket Ninja: Jesus I hate con artists like this. They cause everybody to treat people on the web with such jaded suspicion and contempt. But some of us really need help, you know? Look, I'm just going to throw this out there. Yesterday I was in the shower. I was soaping up my breasts and my nipples and had just bent down to soap my crotch when I heard a crash outside the window. I leaned against the wall and felt my nipples press against the cold tile. Outside, I saw four men with guns. I couldn't help it--I screamed. They saw me. I had to run. I cupped my breasts in my hands and fled. All I could grab was a hand towel. I've been on the run with nothing but a hand towel for two days. I'm hungry and dirty. So dirty. I just found this laptop in a field and am sneaking someone's Wi-Fi while sitting naked on my towel. Please help me. I just need money to buy clothes, some food, a house. Please, you're my only hope.

Shenanigans, if you were attractive, men would be coming out of the woodwork if you were actually naked.

 
pugsleythegreat 2009-09-09 08:41:29 AM  
Pocket Ninja

pssh, pics or it didn't happen.

 
olapbill 2009-09-09 08:43:31 AM  
pugsleythegreat: Pocket Ninja

pssh, pics or it didn't happen.


oh this never ends well. It reads like a gauntlet thrown down for gorgor.

 
Old Man from scene 24 2009-09-09 08:44:32 AM  
I watched The Time Travelers wife, and cried...............

 
pugsleythegreat 2009-09-09 08:46:32 AM  
olapbill

Tell Pocket Ninja I demand satisfaction!
Stand and deliver, the devil may take you yet!

 
MaddyUnderstood [recently expired TotalFark] 2009-09-09 08:47:23 AM  
Type40: Just so you farkers know, it is possible to successfully find a relationship on the internets. I now have the best girlfriend ever thanks to a dating website.

/why am I telling you this?
//I'm telling everyone.
///so happy.


aslcdn.celebuzz.com

is that you, tom?

 
brian7dog 2009-09-09 08:47:42 AM  
olapbill: pugsleythegreat: Pocket Ninja

pssh, pics or it didn't happen.

oh this never ends well. It reads like a gauntlet thrown down for gorgor.


Very true, but damn some people never learn, do they?

Pics or it didn't happen

 
macaddict0 2009-09-09 08:49:06 AM  
I never assumed as much. That's a pretty big relief though, 'cause really... I don't need that kind of drama in my life.

 
maskedloser 2009-09-09 08:49:28 AM  
My nips - $5 per picture. %7.50 to see both. They're perky, like skinny erasers; and they're attached to the firm, supple breasts of a Playboy centerfold.

/ I am thanking You for send money to my akount for to make free my millions from the bank of Nigeria that is holding It.

 
MaddyUnderstood [recently expired TotalFark] 2009-09-09 08:50:49 AM  
Pocket Ninja: Jesus I hate con artists like this. They cause everybody to treat people on the web with such jaded suspicion and contempt. But some of us really need help, you know? Look, I'm just going to throw this out there. Yesterday I was in the shower. I was soaping up my breasts and my nipples and had just bent down to soap my crotch when I heard a crash outside the window. I leaned against the wall and felt my nipples press against the cold tile. Outside, I saw four men with guns. I couldn't help it--I screamed. They saw me. I had to run. I cupped my breasts in my hands and fled. All I could grab was a hand towel. I've been on the run with nothing but a hand towel for two days. I'm hungry and dirty. So dirty. I just found this laptop in a field and am sneaking someone's Wi-Fi while sitting naked on my towel. Please help me. I just need money to buy clothes, some food, a house. Please, you're my only hope.

best read.

beats the "i think i just heard someone in my living room...and i am home alone!! help!!1!!!"

 
Anne.Uumellmahaye 2009-09-09 08:51:23 AM  
flamingboard: my interwebs girlfriend is a nigerian princess who just needs a few thousand dollars to pay the bank transfer fees to get her millions out of the country. seems like a sweet ass deal to me.

/investments
//make them


This is a sweet ass-deal.

 
pugsleythegreat 2009-09-09 08:51:34 AM  
maskedloser

Why don't you just give me a TotalFark subscription, the one I've been pining for, and send me a picture of your nips anyway. You can even wear your mask, maskedloser.

So help me if they're man-boobs.

 
brian7dog 2009-09-09 08:51:35 AM  
maskedloser: My nips - $5 per picture. %7.50 to see both. They're perky, like skinny erasers; and they're attached to the firm, supple breasts of a Playboy centerfold.

/ I am thanking You for send money to my akount for to make free my millions from the bank of Nigeria that is holding It.


Please attach bank account details, for 'cough' tax purposes 'cough'

 
LittleBlondeJug [TotalFark] 2009-09-09 08:51:36 AM  
flamingboard: littlett's: Techhell: Wait, there are women on the Internet? When did THAT happen?

It is all a bunch of lies.

there are no girls on the internets.


Sad but very true. We are all chatbots.

Error. Error. Duplicate reply with chatbot Littlett's. Resetting chat response list.

/end script

 
Otackle72 2009-09-09 08:52:11 AM  
maskedloser: My nips - $5 per picture. %7.50 to see both. They're perky, like skinny erasers; and they're attached to the firm, supple breasts of a Playboy centerfold.

/ I am thanking You for send money to my akount for to make free my millions from the bank of Nigeria that is holding It.


You forgot 'With Thanks To Almighty God, Daddy' for added effect.

 
belome 2009-09-09 08:52:16 AM  
Why is this illegal?

You can't lie and have dudes send you money?

Would this be illegal in the States?

 
pugsleythegreat 2009-09-09 08:53:17 AM  
Oh no, the AW's are here!

everyone runnn!

/or check and make sure they haven't added any new pictures to their profiles.
//THEN run!

 
Uncle Tractor 2009-09-09 08:54:47 AM  
flamingboard: littlett's: Techhell: Wait, there are women on the Internet? When did THAT happen?

It is all a bunch of lies.

there are no girls on the internets.


40-year old guys in sailor moon outfits don't count?

 
MaddyUnderstood [recently expired TotalFark] 2009-09-09 08:55:00 AM  
LittleBlondeJug: flamingboard: littlett's: Techhell: Wait, there are women on the Internet? When did THAT happen?

It is all a bunch of lies.

there are no girls on the internets.

Sad but very true. We are all chatbots.

Error. Error. Duplicate reply with chatbot Littlett's. Resetting chat response list.

/end script


heeeheeehee,
i chuckled.

 
steveGswine 2009-09-09 08:55:03 AM  
littlett's: Techhell: Wait, there are women on the Internet? When did THAT happen?

It is all a bunch of lies.


www.moviezeal.com

 
RobertBruce [TotalFark] 2009-09-09 08:56:58 AM  
Damn. biatch has tucked really well for years!

 
FrancoFile 2009-09-09 08:57:06 AM  
In before fat bearded naked guy.

 
Mykeru [TotalFark] 2009-09-09 08:58:11 AM  
In reality, she's not being prosecuted for defrauding men. She's being punished for not being as artful about it as per the Pink Mafia (Sisterhood and Shoes Local 101) requirements.

 
brian7dog 2009-09-09 08:58:32 AM  
FrancoFile: In before fat bearded naked guy.

Really, I thought we all were?

 
black_knight 2009-09-09 08:58:42 AM  
Is it still safe to trust Nigerian generals?

 
Mykeru [TotalFark] 2009-09-09 08:59:42 AM  
pugsleythegreat: Oh no, the AW's are here!

everyone runnn!

/or check and make sure they haven't added any new pictures to their profiles.


Fark is now available in anamorphic wide-screen?

 
braedan 2009-09-09 09:00:04 AM  
Pocket Ninja: Jesus I hate con artists like this. They cause everybody to treat people on the web with such jaded suspicion and contempt. But some of us really need help, you know? Look, I'm just going to throw this out there. Yesterday I was in the shower. I was soaping up my breasts and my nipples and had just bent down to soap my crotch when I heard a crash outside the window. I leaned against the wall and felt my nipples press against the cold tile. Outside, I saw four men with guns. I couldn't help it--I screamed. They saw me. I had to run. I cupped my breasts in my hands and fled. All I could grab was a hand towel. I've been on the run with nothing but a hand towel for two days. I'm hungry and dirty. So dirty. I just found this laptop in a field and am sneaking someone's Wi-Fi while sitting naked on my towel. Please help me. I just need money to buy clothes, some food, a house. Please, you're my only hope.

Bank Account details in Profile.
If you need my social security number let me know.

 
Displayed 50 of 4192 comments

First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | » | Last


[Continue Farking]